Skip to main content

This is baseball related....I promise! Rural West Tennessee is not know for a large Jewish population. Matter of fact I don't know ANY Jewish people. But son has received an invitation from his agent requesting his presence at his son's Bar Mitzvah in Calif. I kinda knew what a Bar Mitzvah was from watching TV over the years. I'm sure my son won't go but the invitation also has a self addressed envelope with RSVP card. My question: What is customary here. Should he send a gift? If so is money a customary gift?
Last edited {1}
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Fungo,
I beleive a money gift is fine... A Kar-Mitzvah is the start of adulthood for the jewish faith I think. I would say they consider it just as important as a wedding and this money they recieve is the start of their bank account also. I know of kids who have gotten thousands for their special party. So, I would be thinking along the same lines of a wedding gift. That's of course if they have weddings down there in Rural West Tennessee. LOL.... jist kiddin ya.

Hope I have helped
MOUNDMASTER
Beezer,
Ok, no problem.

Bar Mitzvah is usually celebrated on the 13th birthday. It is the day the young man is first called to the Torah to read special passage. It is the time that he enters adulthood in regards to his serious religious training, which parents usually stop after the Bar Mitzvah! For girls it is called a Bas Mitzvah and very fashionable these days for girls to do the same, but not in the orthodox sect of judaism. It is commanded by g-d that every jewish boy do this, same as with the circumcision (well you ASKED), another big celebration!
Since it is their birthday, big party is planned by mom and dad (not commanded by g-d). Money is usually given to the Bar Mitzvah. It is customary to give in increments of 18, the 18th letter of the hebrew alphabet is Chai (sort of looks like an H)which means life. I wrote to Fungo to tell him even if son was not attending it is still proper to send money and a suggested amount. After all, it is AGENTS son! Wink
Last edited by TPM
A Bar-Mitzvah is second only to a wedding. In the Jewish religion, when a boy is Bar Mitzvah he has achieved manhood. I don't know what your son's agent has invited him to as there are usually two parts -- the religious ceremony and the reception. He may be invited to both.Appropriates gifts begin at $50 depending on the relationship with the kid and with the family.
Very interesting thread. I am Jewish and was Bar Mitzvah as was my son. TigerPawMom does a very nice job describing the background and significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah. In terms of being an adult...it is only from a religious perspective. At the age of 13, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is then able to read from the Torah (the first 5 books of Moses in the Old Testament) and lead a religious service.

In terms of a gift, the number 18, corresponding to "Chai" (meaning "life" in Hebrew) is important. If you are giving a gift of money, the amount you give is totally up to you, but if you make it in an increment of $18 (i.e. $36, known as "double-Chai and so on), it is a nice, thoughtful touch.

By the way, there was reference to a "Jewish catcher" in this thread...let's not forget Mike Lieberthal or Brad Ausmus...what there good Jewish mothers must think...lol.

My son hopes to follow in the path of Sandy Koufax (only he's a rhp) or, Jason Marquis. Right now though, he's just preparing for his last high school season.
Great explanations and the $18 thought is perfect. It really shows that your son took the time to look into traditions that are so important and we really appreciate that.

Too bad your son won't be able to go as it is quite an experience for those of other faiths to see all of the work that a 13 year old has too accomplish (and the party I am embarrassed to say is something quite extraordinary if you haven't been to one).

As for the amount, I am afraid to tell you what the going gift is in California and New York but $18 from your son will be remembered forever.

And now you can add an outfielder to the count.
quote:
Originally posted by boris:
Very interesting thread. I am Jewish and was Bar Mitzvah as was my son. TigerPawMom does a very nice job describing the background and significance of Bar/Bat Mitzvah. In terms of being an adult...it is only from a religious perspective. At the age of 13, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is then able to read from the Torah (the first 5 books of Moses in the Old Testament) and lead a religious service.

In terms of a gift, the number 18, corresponding to "Chai" (meaning "life" in Hebrew) is important. If you are giving a gift of money, the amount you give is totally up to you, but if you make it in an increment of $18 (i.e. $36, known as "double-Chai and so on), it is a nice, thoughtful touch.

By the way, there was reference to a "Jewish catcher" in this thread...let's not forget Mike Lieberthal or Brad Ausmus...what there good Jewish mothers must think...lol.

My son hopes to follow in the path of Sandy Koufax (only he's a rhp) or, Jason Marquis. Right now though, he's just preparing for his last high school season.


So, What were the special gifts on that bat mitzvah?
bat mitzvah gifts
Too bad your son won't be able to go as it is quite an experience for those of other faiths to see all of the work that a 13 year old has too accomplish (and the party I am embarrassed to say is something quite extraordinary if you haven't been to one).--


In my neck of the woods, it is a big season of events and parties. We are Catholic but my last name 'sounds' Jewish so it was funny to see how many mailings and brochures my daughter got in the mail for parties and dresses, when she was 12/13 years old. We attended several, and they are very impressive, the readings from the Torah and the ceremonial aspects mark the transition to adulthood. But the parties!!! The non-Jewish girls have gotten so jealous, they ask their parents for 'faux mitzvah' parties Smile (not kidding!)
As my kids and their friends passed through thirteen I told them they may never have a social life like the two years of Bar/Bat Mitvah's they attended. I think they each went to about fifty. The one my son liked the best was when Dave & Busters was rented out for a private party. Imagine what it cost the parents to have D&B shut down on a Saturday night from 4-7pm.
Last edited by RJM
Just to clear up some misconceptions here. Bar Mitzvah literally means "Son of the Commandment" (Bat means Daughter, thus "Bat Mitzvah." Bas as in "Bas Mitvah" is an outdated pronunciation of the feminine form, bat). You become a Bar Mitzvah, a "Son of the Commandment". Its not the name of a celebration, its a description of a new "member" of the congregation who is going to stand up in front of the congregation and prove that he has been educated to such a point, that he is capable of reading Torah with the other members of the congregation.

There is no official age where a jewish boy becomes a Bar Mitzvah. It is just a tradition to recognize the child's new status at around thirteen. When this tradition started, in the middle ages, I think rabbis were being smart by saying to congregants, "if we don't get them to do this work by thirteen, we are never going to get them to do it!" My wife became a Bat Mizvah at 30. She was pregnant and it was hard, but it is very moving to see an adult become a Bat Mitzvah.

Money is probably the best gift. My son invested the money he received when he became a Bar Mitzvah in the stock market with the intent of buying a car when he graduated HS. It wasn't much money at the time, but we thought the car was a nice dream. The money has grown and he never bought the car, but he is tremendously grateful to have this money to start his life after college.

It is really hard to do your training correctly, while going to middle school, playing sports, and trying to be a regular kid. But Ryan Braun, Kevin Youkalis and Ian Kinsler will tell you it was worth the sacrifice.

Add Reply

Post
.
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×