Jones
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It takes the fun away from everyone concerned. The family, the player, teammates, other parents, fans, and school administrators. All have a different level of appreciation for the game, but all are affected. IMHO
As long as the coach is fair, I don't have any complains. Top 9 players play the game, Subs sub in when the starters get tired or can't be in the game for personal reasons. If you think you are among the top 9 player, your coaches think otherwise, go find another team. It's not about the love, it's about winning, competition and fairness. I don't care whether if the bench warmers had fun or not, I don't care the coaches won't come back because some parents attacked them in the parking lot. I only care about winning, if you are winning, most people will have fun. Let the losers cry whatever they want.
My son's team has a senior who is not starting, but DH's for underclassmen during many games. His dad grumbles to everyone around him and oftentimes, after he learns before a game that his son will not be hitting, he angrily announces "I'm outta here" and stomps off.
He repeatedly has told us that his son is about to quit the team and that his son is miserable not being able to start, but every time I see the son he looks happy to me. If the son is unhappy, most likely it is because his dad is stoking the fires of discontentment at home rather than encouraging the son to appreciate and maximize the opportunities he is receiving. What a tragedy. And what a way to ruin his son's senior year.
He repeatedly has told us that his son is about to quit the team and that his son is miserable not being able to start, but every time I see the son he looks happy to me. If the son is unhappy, most likely it is because his dad is stoking the fires of discontentment at home rather than encouraging the son to appreciate and maximize the opportunities he is receiving. What a tragedy. And what a way to ruin his son's senior year.
Wow, coachbwww - I'd like to think you would modify your belief system based on the level of baseball we're talking about...
I believe that coaches who are experienced know that dealing with parents goes with the territory. The best coaches do what they do with purpose and reason, and they aren't afraid to communicate with players and parents what those reasons are. Our coach tells our players "When you ask me why, you may not hear what you like, but you will always hear the truth."
I think the balance between the parent and coach can be a very positive thing, if both parties are mature and thoughtful in their approach. The parent has a unique perspective on the player; the coach has a unique perspective on the team. I think the problems are caused by parents who are unable to see the truth and coaches who are unwilling to communicate with parents.
I also think good coaches realize it takes more than the "top 9 players" to make up a team. And it can sometimes be very difficult to make ALL the players feel like a part of the team - but good coaches do it. Referring to those who aren't in the "top 9" as losers and saying you don't care if the benchwarmers had fun... I don't even have words for that.
As far as "It's not about the love, it's about winning, competition and fairness" I would say you cannot separate those - it's the love of the game that makes the winning so special and it's the love of the game that makes players and coaches crave the competition and it's the love of the game that makes them want to win fairly. Would winning matter if the other teams all stunk? Would winning matter if you had to cheat to win? Would winning matter if you didn't LOVE the game?
There will always be detractors, no matter how hard a coach tries to be fair - fairness is a subjective thing. But a coach who instills in his players a love of the game of baseball will always be a winner in my book.
I believe that coaches who are experienced know that dealing with parents goes with the territory. The best coaches do what they do with purpose and reason, and they aren't afraid to communicate with players and parents what those reasons are. Our coach tells our players "When you ask me why, you may not hear what you like, but you will always hear the truth."
I think the balance between the parent and coach can be a very positive thing, if both parties are mature and thoughtful in their approach. The parent has a unique perspective on the player; the coach has a unique perspective on the team. I think the problems are caused by parents who are unable to see the truth and coaches who are unwilling to communicate with parents.
I also think good coaches realize it takes more than the "top 9 players" to make up a team. And it can sometimes be very difficult to make ALL the players feel like a part of the team - but good coaches do it. Referring to those who aren't in the "top 9" as losers and saying you don't care if the benchwarmers had fun... I don't even have words for that.
As far as "It's not about the love, it's about winning, competition and fairness" I would say you cannot separate those - it's the love of the game that makes the winning so special and it's the love of the game that makes players and coaches crave the competition and it's the love of the game that makes them want to win fairly. Would winning matter if the other teams all stunk? Would winning matter if you had to cheat to win? Would winning matter if you didn't LOVE the game?
There will always be detractors, no matter how hard a coach tries to be fair - fairness is a subjective thing. But a coach who instills in his players a love of the game of baseball will always be a winner in my book.
quote:Originally posted by coachbwww:
As long as the coach is fair, I don't have any complains. Top 9 players play the game, Subs sub in when the starters get tired or can't be in the game for personal reasons. If you think you are among the top 9 player, your coaches think otherwise, go find another team. It's not about the love, it's about winning, competition and fairness. I don't care whether if the bench warmers had fun or not, I don't care the coaches won't come back because some parents attacked them in the parking lot. I only care about winning, if you are winning, most people will have fun. Let the losers cry whatever they want.
Coach I see from your profile you've been coaching youth baseball for 7 years; I hope that is not your philosophy for those ages.............or matter a fact for any player development age. Heads up for the HSBBW incoming missles.
At our HS, the very first parents meeting, the coaches and AD tell all the parents that they have an open door for the parents except for issues regarding playing time or how the player is used.
They tell the parents up front that those issues are only discussed between the coach and the player, and the player may talk to the coach anytime outside of practice or a game about it.
When my son groused to me about something, I told him up front, "I'm not going to the coach for you. If it's that important, send the coach an email that you'd like to schedule a meeting with him." He didn't that time, but at a later time, he told me he was going to go talk to the coach and asked my advice about how he should approach it. That's how kids grow up and learn about how to have adult conversation. IMHO
They tell the parents up front that those issues are only discussed between the coach and the player, and the player may talk to the coach anytime outside of practice or a game about it.
When my son groused to me about something, I told him up front, "I'm not going to the coach for you. If it's that important, send the coach an email that you'd like to schedule a meeting with him." He didn't that time, but at a later time, he told me he was going to go talk to the coach and asked my advice about how he should approach it. That's how kids grow up and learn about how to have adult conversation. IMHO
quote:I believe that coaches who are experienced know that dealing with parents goes with the territory. The best coaches do what they do with purpose and reason, and they aren't afraid to communicate with players and parents what those reasons are. Our coach tells our players "When you ask me why, you may not hear what you like, but you will always hear the truth."
I disagree with you saying the best coaches communicate with the parent's
one of the best coaches my son had would not talk at all to parent's.
There is no need for them to talk to parent's.
All communication should be to the players.
Let them grow up to be the young man you want them to become.
JMHO
EH
In our parent meeting my son's HS coach closed the meeting by saying "The one thing I will not talk to a parent about is playing time. Your son is in HS and I will be happy to talk to him about any concerns he has."
If I was a coach I would do it the same way.
If I was a coach I would do it the same way.
We are not quite to the HS level yet. Our coaches reputation precides him however. He will not discuss coaching matters with the parents. He also doesn't really want girlfirends at the game but will allow them to watch from the bleachers. What to be benched flirt during a game.
My question is however why do some parents take fun out of it and get such glee in shooting down a young player with comments like "kid,you pitched a great game but you'll have to be better next week." or 'I doubt he could get that lucky again." etc... we have all heard them. Aren't we all there for the love of the game and the kids that go with it????
My question is however why do some parents take fun out of it and get such glee in shooting down a young player with comments like "kid,you pitched a great game but you'll have to be better next week." or 'I doubt he could get that lucky again." etc... we have all heard them. Aren't we all there for the love of the game and the kids that go with it????
And why do some coaches shoot down players with comments such as "that win was nothing but luck". Those were the only words our hs asst jv coach had for the boys after their first game. Actually, from my perspective, there was some terrific pitching and catching on both sides. The fielding from the opponent was inconsistent. And, yeah, there were a few "reached on an error" bases. The comment was a slap. It isn't just parents who know how to take the fun away. (Though some are pretty darned effective.)
Here's my opinion on when I will accept high school coaches who refuse to speak to parents:
When the teacher stops calling me to talk about my kid's grade;
When the principal stops calling me to talk about my kid's behavior;
When the attendance office stops calling me to tell me my kid is not in school;
When the fees clerk stops calling me to tell me my kid's book fees or sport fees or lab fees or lunch fees or gym fees are due;
And when the coach stops calling me to ask me to volunteer to spearhead whatever...
That's when the high school coach can tell me he won't talk to me about my kid.
Do I expect my son/daughter to address issues with the coach first? Absolutely. But I would not hesitate to step in if I felt the coach was not giving my child the courtesy of a complete and honest answer. We have a situation right now with a coach - son has asked for an appointment to talk with the coach, coach says "I'll try to find time". If it doesn't happen within a reasonable amount of time I will do what I have to do to make it happen. Kids are still kids, adults are still adults. Much learning happens through observation; my son can learn a lot by seeing how adults handle their differences.
When the teacher stops calling me to talk about my kid's grade;
When the principal stops calling me to talk about my kid's behavior;
When the attendance office stops calling me to tell me my kid is not in school;
When the fees clerk stops calling me to tell me my kid's book fees or sport fees or lab fees or lunch fees or gym fees are due;
And when the coach stops calling me to ask me to volunteer to spearhead whatever...
That's when the high school coach can tell me he won't talk to me about my kid.
Do I expect my son/daughter to address issues with the coach first? Absolutely. But I would not hesitate to step in if I felt the coach was not giving my child the courtesy of a complete and honest answer. We have a situation right now with a coach - son has asked for an appointment to talk with the coach, coach says "I'll try to find time". If it doesn't happen within a reasonable amount of time I will do what I have to do to make it happen. Kids are still kids, adults are still adults. Much learning happens through observation; my son can learn a lot by seeing how adults handle their differences.
mythreesons, rz1:
That's why I quit coaching couple of years ago, I can't take those BS from other parents. But my "belief system" is still there. I preached my belief to my son, now he understands if he doesn't have the playing time, it's nobody's fault but himself. It's because either he is not working hard enough or he is not talented enough. He can only blame himself for being a loser. If he wants to change his fate, he will need to go out to the baseball field, practice 7days/week and work his A** off.
So far, he is still the top 9 kids in his team, he can still relax a bit, I am still wondering how would he react when he faces the tough competition with other talented kids at HS level next year. He'd better not be the loser, otherwise I will be disappointed.
P.S, mythreesons: if you don't LOVE the game why bother to play it at the first place. If the kid need the coach to intill the LOVE of the game to him, that kid is already a loser.
That's why I quit coaching couple of years ago, I can't take those BS from other parents. But my "belief system" is still there. I preached my belief to my son, now he understands if he doesn't have the playing time, it's nobody's fault but himself. It's because either he is not working hard enough or he is not talented enough. He can only blame himself for being a loser. If he wants to change his fate, he will need to go out to the baseball field, practice 7days/week and work his A** off.
So far, he is still the top 9 kids in his team, he can still relax a bit, I am still wondering how would he react when he faces the tough competition with other talented kids at HS level next year. He'd better not be the loser, otherwise I will be disappointed.
P.S, mythreesons: if you don't LOVE the game why bother to play it at the first place. If the kid need the coach to intill the LOVE of the game to him, that kid is already a loser.
mythreesons, Couldn't agree more. Way to go
Nicholas, you are finding out a lot more about what a coach has to do. You are the assistant. Multiply that by a lot given the number of years that the head coach has been in that position. For some, it ruins them as a coach and yes, they are more supervisor than coach. For some they should get out. For others, that spark is still there but it might take a special player or team to bring it back out. However, that is another story.
Did the staff have a parent's meeting?
Do the parents know the steps for communciation?
Do the players have an open door? No, a REAL OPEN DOOR. I hate it when I hear kids held accountable for what they said in confidence.(Playing time etc.)
What is your plan? Have you and the coach gone over a plan for when that parent comes after the game to talk? Do you have an AD in on it and so, the administration knows your policy?
Have you suggested at all a "cooling off" time period that you'd feel comfortable taking to parent after a practice?
Have you sat down with EVERY PLAYER on your TEAM and defined their roles as of now? (Note you can say that this role can change but for now this is what it is.)
You have a lot more to learn and so, keep at it. You're doing fine so far.
Did the staff have a parent's meeting?
Do the parents know the steps for communciation?
Do the players have an open door? No, a REAL OPEN DOOR. I hate it when I hear kids held accountable for what they said in confidence.(Playing time etc.)
What is your plan? Have you and the coach gone over a plan for when that parent comes after the game to talk? Do you have an AD in on it and so, the administration knows your policy?
Have you suggested at all a "cooling off" time period that you'd feel comfortable taking to parent after a practice?
Have you sat down with EVERY PLAYER on your TEAM and defined their roles as of now? (Note you can say that this role can change but for now this is what it is.)
You have a lot more to learn and so, keep at it. You're doing fine so far.
quote:mythreesons, rz1:
That's why I quit coaching couple of years ago, I can't take those BS from other parents. But my "belief system" is still there. I preached my belief to my son, now he understands if he doesn't have the playing time, it's nobody's fault but himself. It's because either he is not working hard enough or he is not talented enough. He can only blame himself for being a loser. If he wants to change his fate, he will need to go out to the baseball field, practice 7days/week and work his A** off.
So far, he is still the top 9 kids in his team, he can still relax a bit, I am still wondering how would he react when he faces the tough competition with other talented kids at HS level next year. He'd better not be the loser, otherwise I will be disappointed.
Dear Coach,
Please explain your position. Are you saying that if your son works his A... off and somehow isnt talented enough or does not make the starting line up he is a loser and you will be dissapointed.(he better not be the loser ,otherwise Ill be dissapointed)
Just want to clarify your position.Dont want to comment until I really grasp what you are saying.
Because any kid that works really hard in every aspect of the game and comes up short because of lack of talent,how can any parent or coach be dissapointed.
fanofgame:
My belief is my belief only. I don't want you guys have the same belief as I have.
If my son works his A** off and still isn't talented enough to be the top 9 kids in his HS team, he is a loser of the "Game of Baseball". He needs to find another GAME to play with, maybe PS3 is a good game for him. I would not blame any coach for my son's own failure.
My belief is my belief only. I don't want you guys have the same belief as I have.
If my son works his A** off and still isn't talented enough to be the top 9 kids in his HS team, he is a loser of the "Game of Baseball". He needs to find another GAME to play with, maybe PS3 is a good game for him. I would not blame any coach for my son's own failure.
ok, so he is a loser in the game of baseball but not a loser in life, is that correct?. Just want to understand your position.
Your correct we all dont have to have the same opinions. But if you post yours on a site its for people to discuss hence its a discussion board.
Your correct we all dont have to have the same opinions. But if you post yours on a site its for people to discuss hence its a discussion board.
The kid who truly works his a** off and still falls short will always be a WINNER! IMO
The person who is disappointed in a young kid who works his a** off and still falls short will always be a LOSER! IMO
A baseball coach who doesn't care whether the guys on the bench love the game or not... is a fool and doesn't really love the game himself. IMO
Any youth coach in the world who doesn't care about every player he coaches... Is one terrible youth coach who has no business coaching young kids. IMO
The person who is disappointed in a young kid who works his a** off and still falls short will always be a LOSER! IMO
A baseball coach who doesn't care whether the guys on the bench love the game or not... is a fool and doesn't really love the game himself. IMO
Any youth coach in the world who doesn't care about every player he coaches... Is one terrible youth coach who has no business coaching young kids. IMO
quote:Originally posted by gotwood4sale:
Oh no!!!
quote:Originally posted by fanofgame:
ok, so he is a loser in the game of baseball but not a loser in life, is that correct?. Just want to understand your position.
Your correct we all dont have to have the same opinions. But if you post yours on a site its for people to discuss hence its a discussion board.
You are right, this is not about life, life is too precious to compare with a Game. You play the game, there will be losers and winners. If you lose the competition playing this game, you are the loser of this game, there's no other way around it. Admit defeat and move on. I don't think attack or blame others will make myself any better. Only losers will blame others for their own failure.
Coach,
Ok I understand your position better. Just my opinion ,but any kid who puts himself out there and truly works hard and doesnt have the talent is not a loser in the game or in life. He just doenst have the talent to keep moving forward. This will happen to almost every player at some point. I just give some of those boys a lot of credit for working hard for the love of the game. And you cant blame anyone for lack of talent.Sometimes too much emphasis on succeeding at the next level They all are not going to keep playing. But they can hang their cleats up and still leave the game with a love and passion for baseball and carry that to their kids, and so forth, and maybe coach someday. Winners are people who work hard at everything they do, they dont settle for less from themselves, somtimes they come up short but success isnt always the measuring stick. The ability to handle failure is when you will see winners in life succeed.
Ok I understand your position better. Just my opinion ,but any kid who puts himself out there and truly works hard and doesnt have the talent is not a loser in the game or in life. He just doenst have the talent to keep moving forward. This will happen to almost every player at some point. I just give some of those boys a lot of credit for working hard for the love of the game. And you cant blame anyone for lack of talent.Sometimes too much emphasis on succeeding at the next level They all are not going to keep playing. But they can hang their cleats up and still leave the game with a love and passion for baseball and carry that to their kids, and so forth, and maybe coach someday. Winners are people who work hard at everything they do, they dont settle for less from themselves, somtimes they come up short but success isnt always the measuring stick. The ability to handle failure is when you will see winners in life succeed.
quote:Originally posted by coachbwww:
mythreesons, rz1:
That's why I quit coaching couple of years ago, I can't take those BS from other parents. But my "belief system" is still there. I preached my belief to my son, now he understands if he doesn't have the playing time, it's nobody's fault but himself. It's because either he is not working hard enough or he is not talented enough. He can only blame himself for being a loser. If he wants to change his fate, he will need to go out to the baseball field, practice 7days/week and work his A** off.
So far, he is still the top 9 kids in his team, he can still relax a bit, I am still wondering how would he react when he faces the tough competition with other talented kids at HS level next year. He'd better not be the loser, otherwise I will be disappointed.
P.S, mythreesons: if you don't LOVE the game why bother to play it at the first place. If the kid need the coach to intill the LOVE of the game to him, that kid is already a loser.
Wow - I bet your son is one of the top 9 because he is too scared not to be. Nothing like the fear of a flogging to motivate.
quote:Originally posted by Nicholas25:
Does a parent ever stop and think they are taking the fun of the game (at least temporarily) away from coaches when they start complaining about their child's playing time, especially early in the year when there is plenty of baseball left to be played, and plenty of opportunities to be earned? The love of the game among many other things should be what keeps the players who aren't playing much coming back, and it is also what keeps many coaches coming back (among many other things), as well.
Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of high school coaching. It sometimes doesn't make sense and you wonder why some people are smart enough to even be able to have kids.
It's something that will get better and easier to deal with. You sort of build up a thick skin to it. Eventually you end up sitting in the coaches office with your staff laughing at how stupid some people are and then comparing them to the good parents.
PGStaff,
PG,
coachbwww, the only B.S. I hear is coming from your corner. Stay retired, son. I think now we can change the title of this thread to "Coaches can take the fun away from players." You're a knucklehead.
coachbwww, the only B.S. I hear is coming from your corner. Stay retired, son. I think now we can change the title of this thread to "Coaches can take the fun away from players." You're a knucklehead.
coachbwww -
about the only thing you've said that I agree with is that you quit coaching - good decision. Now I just feel sorry for a boy who's dad will be disappointed if his son turns out to be "the loser". Statistically, almost EVERYONE who starts out playing this game will be "the loser" by your definition, if they stay with it long enough. Two of my sons have played college ball, but weren't/won't be good enough to go on - I would never in my wildest dreams think of them as "losers". And all those teammates they had over the years who eventually found their own personal limits had been reached - not one of them was a "loser" either, whether it ended for them in Little League, travel ball or high school.
Actually there's only one loser in this thread.
CoachB25 - you described exactly what I would expect from a high school coaching staff. Be open, be honest and be prepared. Is it always easy? No, especially with parents like "coachbwww" who will respond to your coaching decisions by letting his kid know he's a "loser". But those who stick with it and do it well find great rewards in the process. The world needs more coaches like you - balances out the, um, others!
about the only thing you've said that I agree with is that you quit coaching - good decision. Now I just feel sorry for a boy who's dad will be disappointed if his son turns out to be "the loser". Statistically, almost EVERYONE who starts out playing this game will be "the loser" by your definition, if they stay with it long enough. Two of my sons have played college ball, but weren't/won't be good enough to go on - I would never in my wildest dreams think of them as "losers". And all those teammates they had over the years who eventually found their own personal limits had been reached - not one of them was a "loser" either, whether it ended for them in Little League, travel ball or high school.
Actually there's only one loser in this thread.
CoachB25 - you described exactly what I would expect from a high school coaching staff. Be open, be honest and be prepared. Is it always easy? No, especially with parents like "coachbwww" who will respond to your coaching decisions by letting his kid know he's a "loser". But those who stick with it and do it well find great rewards in the process. The world needs more coaches like you - balances out the, um, others!
Sounds to me as if coachbwww is the "loser" here. I really feel bad for kids who have this kind of **** to deal with.
I am always amazed by the parents meeting before the season. I never had one in all my years. I did not see a need for it? why is it so prevelant now?
Coachbwww, So when a kid graduates from college, is drafted, and finds out that he does not have the stuff to make it to the MLB level, you would call him a loser also?
The only bs here is that you are trying to instill a riot on this site. You are a figment of you own imagination and I am convinced that no loving father could ever look at their kid with that loser mentality.
IMHO
The only bs here is that you are trying to instill a riot on this site. You are a figment of you own imagination and I am convinced that no loving father could ever look at their kid with that loser mentality.
IMHO
hey, guys don't be too serious. My son and I play games all the time. I have to say the competition is "furious". From checker, chess to video games, from basketball, "sokker", track to baseball. I've been a loser to him many times. As I am getting older, he almost won every physical event against me. For example, the 50/100 game(50 pushup, 100 situp), I use to beat him easily. Now I have to accept the big "L" sign he showed me in front of his forehead. "L for love!" And the track thing is also embarrassing. I use to beat him in 100 meter dash by back peddling at the end, now I have to quit at about 75 meter line, because it knocks the wind out of me trying to catch up with him..
There are couple of games I still have an edge on him, one is the video game <<Tiger Woods Golf 1999>>, I still got the 1 round record of 22 under without cheating. I can beat him in this game most of the time. And the other one is the math count game, I am way too fast for him to calculate numbers without a calculator. Other than these two, I don't have a whole lot to brag about. Hey, in many games I played with my son, I am a LOSER and I am proud of it.
There are couple of games I still have an edge on him, one is the video game <<Tiger Woods Golf 1999>>, I still got the 1 round record of 22 under without cheating. I can beat him in this game most of the time. And the other one is the math count game, I am way too fast for him to calculate numbers without a calculator. Other than these two, I don't have a whole lot to brag about. Hey, in many games I played with my son, I am a LOSER and I am proud of it.
Sorry Coach for the knee jerk reaction, and I kind of understand your line of thinking. However, very few can throw that "loser" term out there and be comfortable with it. IMHO. It would still raise my eyebrow for any dad to call their kid a loser and be comfortable with it because I feel that the word "loser" makes the f-bomb look life a fluffy white cloud.
This is not a perfect world. In a perfect baseball world the coach loves all the players, appreciates the parents and enjoys every aspect of the game. The parents love watching their son “participate” whether he is on the bench or on the mound. Every player is happy with the way “their” team played. In a perfect baseball world winning or losing is simply a by-product of playing the game. But this isn’t the way it happens. Baseball is an emotionally charged game. Parents get very angry at coaches, other parents, players and even their own sons. Coaches get upset with players, parents and even the game of baseball at times. Players are subjected to every emotion possible. I think each parent has an obligation to help their young son understand the emotions involved in the game and the different perspectives of the different people involved in the game. I think each player is responsible for their game and their perspective. Control what you can.
Coachwww is only guilty of explaining the harsh reality of sports. The higher the level the more obvious it becomes. I agree it shouldn't be part of a young kid's baseball but it becomes fairly common as players move up into HS baseball and higher.
Fungo
Coachwww is only guilty of explaining the harsh reality of sports. The higher the level the more obvious it becomes. I agree it shouldn't be part of a young kid's baseball but it becomes fairly common as players move up into HS baseball and higher.
Fungo
quote:My son and I play games all the time. I have to say the competition is "furious". From checker, chess to video games, from basketball, "sokker", track to baseball. I've been a loser to him many times. As I am getting older, he almost won every physical event against me. For example, the 50/100 game(50 pushup, 100 situp), I use to beat him easily. Now I have to accept the big "L" sign he showed me in front of his forehead. "L for love!" And the track thing is also embarrassing. I use to beat him in 100 meter dash by back peddling at the end, now I have to quit at about 75 meter line, because it knocks the wind out of me trying to catch up with him..
There are couple of games I still have an edge on him, one is the video game <<Tiger Woods Golf 1999>>, I still got the 1 round record of 22 under without cheating. I can beat him in this game most of the time. And the other one is the math count game, I am way too fast for him to calculate numbers without a calculator. Other than these two, I don't have a whole lot to brag about. Hey, in many games I played with my son, I am a LOSER and I am proud of it.
Coachbwww, I am sure you enjoy a loving relationship with your son and that you two have a lot of fun together. That said, I am flabbergasted at the breadth and scope of all your competitions. In your zeal to compete, are you molding a child who is obsessed with winning at all costs? Do you spend so much time with him in competitive situations that there is no time for other types of activities? How much emphasis do you place on communication and relationships? What priorities do you place on character traits such as kindness, perseverance through failure, generosity, humility, teamwork, selflessness, and moral excellence?
I am not a fly on the wall and perhaps you excel in all of these areas. However, if you need to place more emphasis on other areas of life, I hope you will recognize this and begin to make some needed changes.
quote:Admit defeat and move on
Couldnt disagree more if " move on " means " quit ".
Move on and give up? Never.
Move on and work ones fanny off,..yes.
Move on and sweat more than any other,...yes.
Move on and try a new approach,...yes.
Dont understand the thinking behind someone telling a highschool aged/younger player to move on. They arent even fully developed yet. Their full potential as an athlete is not yet fully tapped.
I have seen boys who didnt make the freshman team who worked their you-know-whats off in the summer, came back, made the JV,....kept working hard, and are now playing college ball.
It can be done.
Coachwww,...why are you trying to beat your son in different events? ( push ups, sit ups, track, etc.)
How bout' you compete with grown men of your own age?
Perhaps that would even up the game field a bit.
I know a few guys round here in Kansas who would be more than willing to compete with you and show you what a real winner looks and feels like. I think you might be pretty suprised at how humble they are.
They wear camoflauged uniforms and play on a team called the United States Army.
We have all kinds of athletic competitions here in Kansas. You are welcome to participate. Just pm me, and I'll be glad to sign you up!
quote:Originally posted by rz1:
Sorry Coach for the knee jerk reaction, and I kind of understand your line of thinking. However, very few can throw that "loser" term out there and be comfortable with it. IMHO. It would still raise my eyebrow for any dad to call their kid a loser and be comfortable with it because I feel that the word "loser" makes the f-bomb look life a fluffy white cloud.
That's OK, maybe my first post overstated a little bit. That's because I still mad at one parent whose son played in our team. The kid has basicly no baseball skills, he can't catch, can't throw and strike out almost everytime. But after I sat the kid out for a entire tournament, his Dad got really mad, he shouted at me face to face, demanded his moneyback, and said he could coach better sitting on the bleachers with a cell-phone. If the L word coming out of my mouth at that time, there would be a good fight for sure. The good thing is I kept my cool, took the spits out of his mouth and walked away. If you ever coached the LL baseball, you would know how "passionate" those parents are. Thus, I have no doubt when I heard a parent knocked a coach out in a parking lot. If those parents have my "loser mentality", there would be no such acts.
Infield08: Good point, I should work with him more on the kindness... humility...
teamwork...selflessness, and moral excellence. Right now the competitiveness almost trumped-up everything. It's my fault.
SSmom: I can't even compete with my kid, how can I play a physical game with those Monster big man and be a winner?
quote:That's because I still mad at one parent whose son played in our team.
You're STILL mad?
quote:kid has basicly no baseball skills, he can't catch, can't throw and strike out almost everytime.
And YOU did what to help/coach him??????????
You did say this was LL didnt you?
quote:I sat the kid out for a entire tournament
Classic.
Coach, when you add to or delete portions of your post it confuses the rest of the readers.
Added portions to your last post:
For clarity, in the future, if you could reply in a seperate post, it would help the rest of us follow.- thank you.
Added portions to your last post:
quote:Infield08: Good point, I should work with him more on the kindness... humility...
teamwork...selflessness, and moral excellence. Right now the competitiveness almost trumped-up everything. It's my fault.
SSmom: I can't even compete with my kid, how can I play a physical game with those Monster big man and be a winner?
For clarity, in the future, if you could reply in a seperate post, it would help the rest of us follow.- thank you.
I thought LL was for teaching kids
quote:SSmom: I can't even compete with my kid, how can I play a physical game with those Monster big man and be a winner?
LOL
Ummm, well no one but you, said anything about Monster Big,....but for the record, if it were me, I'd be more concerned about competing against the quiet little guy/gal with stealth and skill.
