Move In Day 2010 Edition

Fillsfan...I swallowed kinda hard when I saw this thread hoping it wasn't what I thought. Alas, it was.

As I read your post it brought back those exact same feelings I had almost 2yrs ago at this time as I did the same exact thing with son. Take it from one who has been there and done that, give it about 2-3 weeks and everything will be clicking right along and feel normal. I promise.

We take son who will be a Junior this year back to school next Wednesday. It's been awesome having him home for the summer. Spending incredible quality time with him. And as crazy as it may seem I dread him leaving out once again. My own personal universe just isn't the same when he's not around. I think the world changes its rotation axis or something...lol.

But it gets somewhat easier each year. You will find that your son's excitement about his team and goals are being formed and realized right before your eyes.

One last note. Back a couple summers ago when son was looking to find a JUCO to play at his sophomore year (his JUCO team during freshman year decided to make a transition with its athletics), we had talks with the HC at Louisburg JC back and forth for a couple of weeks. To this day, I cannot tell you how absolutely blown away I still am at having met him. We were not able to make things work out and I hated it because I'd have given my 2 front teeth for son to have played under that man. Your son could not be going to one of the premier JUCO's in the country as far as I am concerned.

I do hope you have a good day today. Just remember to breath every few seconds.

YGD

I have been thru this more than once but I never looked at like you guys do---I took it as the next step in the boys growth process--and the schools were not local--they were in North Carolina and New Mexico

They all made it and have their college degrees as well as the college baseball memories

TR, you are cut from different cloth I guess. Buckskin, rawhide, maybe moleskin, or burlap.

I blubbered like a great blue whale when we left my oldest in San Antonio two years ago and flew back to Korea. I will do it again when we drop the next son, and probably hardest when we drop my daughter - she's going into 8th grade, though, so I have time.....but the Green Mile is looming.

fillsfan, many here can relate to your post. It'll get better.

TR..

Just because I didn't say it doesn't mean that I too didn't look at it as son's next step. Of course I knew that was what it was.

Coach May and all you other dads,
This thread is just what I need right now. My son leaves next Friday for his freshman year. In some ways I wish I could stop the clock but then in other ways I can't wait to watch what happens for him at the next level. He's been working hard all summer and even to my untrained yet biased eye he appears to be in tip top baseball shape.

I have the distinct feeling that the 6 hour drive up there will be much shorter than the 6 hour drive back home. It's good to know that I'm not alone. What will we do with ourselves now that there are no practices, games, tournaments to schedule our meals around?

fillsfan: Mine is leaving in 2 weeks, and he is only going less then an hour away, but still living on campus. I know for me it will be emotional too and I see nothing wrong with that! As Coach may said, I am looking forward to his growth from a boy into a man.

I'm a week away from dropping off my oldest son, and I'm already feeling it. Just lucky to have got to spend so much time with him and build a strong bond. He'll probably improve immensely without me pitching bp.

Remember it like it was yesterday. We felt like we had abandoned our son although he did not feel that way. After our final good-byes, my wife and I both had lumps in our throats the size of grapefruits and neither of us could speak for several hours on our 12 hour return trip home. It was one of the saddest days of my life yet at the same time I was so happy for my son who was so happy with his new life. It took two to three weeks to get over those feelings but emptiness was slowly replaced by satisfaction. When reports started flowing in from fall practice - emptiness, sadness, and loneliness was gladly overtaken by excitement and joy.

I see people post here all the time to enjoy the ride. Basically, they are talking about enjoying the recruiting ride which (looking back) is no ride at all as the easy part to the whole process (looking back) is getting recruited imho.

I think it is only now that parents begin to understand that the actual ride begins now. Ups and downs. Highs and lows. The ride is finding your name in the lineup and staying there. Learning to bounce back from a bad game. Praying that the coach does not bury you if you do. Learning to beat an older/stronger kid out. Praying the coach notices and appreciates your talents. Praying the same thoughts as the 70 other parents of the other 35 "all-everything in high school" guys on the roster are praying. Praying that your guy can be one of the lucky 9 guys to play some day. Exciting times ahead, indeed.

fillsfan, I feel your pain. We are dropping the baby of the family off in two weeks, and just the thought of it tears me up-and the college is only 12 miles away! Good luck to all...

Filsfan; great post, very enjoyable for me to read you' alls thoughts and brings back many memories from my sons move in day (i guess it was move out day for me)

above all; remember this; your son is having a BLAST

quote:

I blubbered like a great blue whale when we left my oldest in San Antonio two years ago and flew back to Korea. I will do it again when we drop the next son, and probably hardest when we drop my daughter - she's going into 8th grade, though, so I have time.....but the Green Mile is looming.

Although we know its time to let go it is
still hard.Krak and any other dads , or moms that feel like this, it is normal.Our lives change forever when our kids begin to leave home.Yes we are excited for them, but there is a sadness that this part of our lives with our kids is over.
We take our son back on Sunday.Junior year already.He has grown up so much, and I enjoy our adult relationship.But I will miss him every day.For me when he walks through the door my heart is happy.Just seeong him, talking to him, listening to him figure things out and talking about it. I love my son with every fiber of my being.Yes I am letting go, yes its a natural process but with it comes some adjusting to them being gone.

Thanks for all the support and encouragement. HSBBW at it's best!

I've been reading these "first day at college" threads for a couple of years and always wished for my son have one, but dreaded it happening.

Everything written so far is so true. He will grow both as a person and a baseball player and I think it started already. He called me this morning and he mentioned that he took out the trash last night and he had a back up alarm clock for this morning. This might sound like a small step for some of you, but it a giant leap for sonkind.

Filsfan,

Making the same journey to NC (Winston-Salem) next Tuesday for the same drop off. Stopping off to do some river rafting on the way and see a Cardinal game on the way back (these activities hopefully will help keep my mind off the move).

One interesting thing to me about this process is how God and Nature helps you along. At this age they are much more independant than ever before and that independance not only signals that they are ready for this next phase of their lives, it also helps serve as an emotional buffer for us.

We had a woman do a quilt of many of his old baseball uniforms that we'll give to him before we leave. That ceremony should be a mess.

Good luck to all making the journey...

fills ... It seems just like yesterday the drive was only to Allentown and Reading.

*** Our kids have been playing against each other since 13U.

rjm,
That was a fast 4 years. I really enjoyed those weekends.

How is your son progressing? Anything new?

I'll PM to keep the thread on topic.

It's been 6 years since we dropped off son to his dorm and I remember it like it was yesterday. After getting settled, the coach came by to take them to the movies (team building already), the parents wanted to take them out to dinner, they had other plans, they were going to the nearest mall. I knew then that he was ready to move on and after returning home to an empty nest, we knew he was too. It was a bit tough at first, but it also meant a whole new experience for us too.

There will be times when you will stop and wonder what they are doing (all of your kids leaving home for the first time), there will most likely be less times he is not thinking about what you are doing.

Best of luck to all of those going off to a new adventure and a new experience, don't be sad, you have prepared them for this moment, enjoy every moment!

Nice post fillsfan. Although I'm still a year from this stage with my son, I can still feel what you're going through. I had my wife read your post, and the one's that followed on this thread, and needless to say, her eyes were a little less dry! Good luck to your son, I'm sure he'll enjoy the college life and do well on the diamond. Congratulations!

When I left my daughter off in Florida (we flew after shipping stuff and bought the rest there) the first thing that came to mind was flying down for February and March games in warm weather. Then I turned to my son and told him when stuff happens in the house now, we'll know who did it.

We take son to Jamestown College (ND) on Wednesday. His final legion baseball game was last Tuesday. Before that, we watched - with melancholy - his final basketball game in March and football game the previous November. It feels like everything we've ever known is coming to an end.

However, I also remember feeling that way when I left college 25 years ago. It didn't feel like anything could possibly fill the void that was college.

Boy was I wrong then.

I hope I'm wrong again and find that this is just another transition from one great life phase to another.

Well, just yesterday, or so it seems, I was doing the drop off and the "basketball in the throat" thing... but the years flew by and mine have now finished and graduated.

Go to every single game possible, move Heaven and earth to get there, and take a lot of pictures. It really really flies by...

But now #2 son is our director of player personnel for our summer team so it's fun discussing what college coaches and players he's talking with about next summer, so the baseball itch is getting scratched..

...but I do miss watching them play.

This year is extra tough as my second year of being an empty nester- i not only lose my son to his sophomore year, and my daughter to her senior year, but I also have to wave goodbye to my trusty Subaru Forester which daughter will be taking to school! The kids will come back better for the college experience, the car,- not so much!

Looking forward to sons second time around to see the adjustments he makes on the mound after a years experience. He already has figured out the adjustments in the classroom and made deans list!

Good luck to all!

It is a bittersweet time when we send them off to college. This will be our 3rd year and it has gotten much easier. The first year there is so much uncertainty. Not only are you sending them off to the unknown adventures in college but they also have to work the hardest they've ever worked to be successful on the team.

And yet, we should be proud of our boys that they are off to play the game they love. It's a long road to get to this point and one that not everyone gets to take.

We've been to the majority of his games, have taken tons of pictures, and we've had the time of our lives. I do remind him periodically how lucky he is to be playing baseball in college. This is a special time, it's not always rosy, things are really hard sometimes, but if they love it enough they'll continue to work hard to be successful.

For some reason, I can't get this one picture out of my mind.....my son in his diapers on our front lawn hitting (left handed) the Fisher-Price tee-ball set with that big yellow bat. Little did I know at the time.....

Next Thursday is hanging over us like doomsday. We're trying not to think about it, but we know it is coming, and coming quick. We'll pack up the minivan, drive 8 hours, drop off fenwaysouth jr, and try to deal with it somehow.

We'll be staying for a few days for orientation, but that is only going to prolong the inevitable. He will be staying in a dorm, we'll be at a hotel. It won't be the same ever again. Oh course, I'm sure he can't wait to get started with his new life as a college student and college baseball player. It is going to be exciting but painful at first.

Wow -- it's so true! The feelings, the tears ... whether it's child #1, #2 or other. But they get through it, don't they. And often go on to absolutely thrive.

Son is 19, gone away to school, and has matured so much. Makes me extremely proud.

So live the moment, know that the transition isn't easy at first -- but know that the kids are amazingly resilient and may well soar to heights you hadn't imagined.

And fillsfan -- the taking out of the garbage and the backup alarm clock ... I know EXACTLY what you mean! Those small things can be HUGE.

Thanks for starting the thread. It touched a special part in many of us.

CaBB - Glad to hear yours is doing so well adn that it gets easier!
For us, it was a different "hard". We watched as other kids went off to school out of town, and ours stayed in our home town to play JC ball. ALbeit, it was really good JC ball, but that dream of playing at a 4-year was still out there. Now that those two years are done, he has successfully made it on to the next level, but he will be going very far away - and even though his sister is a few hours from him, it will be tough to make it to lots of games (although we are going to try!)
It will be a very sad day when he drives out that driveway, but a proud one. He's overcome injury, adversity, and gained great leadership skills and is ready to go.
In the end, we can let go because we must. I am going to muster all the courage I can because he deserves this shot and needs to know I am behind him 100 %! Just like everyone else here - you are all good parents!
Congratulations to you too!

I found it! I was looking for this and came across it in a thread on the Ladies forum. It fits here and was originally posted by iheartbb (sorry I don't know how to do the "quote thing on here)

Here's a prayer for everyone

A Parent’s Prayer

I pray that I may let my child live his own life and not the one I wish I had lived. Therefore, guard me against burdening him with doing what I failed to do.

Help me to see his missteps today in perspective against the long road he must travel, and grant me the grace to be patient with his sometimes slow pace.

Give me the wisdom to know when to smile at the small mischiefs of his age and when to show firmness against the impulses he fears and cannot handle.

Help me to hear the anguish in his heart through the din of angry words or across the gulf of brooding silence; and, having heard, grant me the ability to bridge the gap between us with understanding.

I pray that I may raise my voice more in joy at who he is than in vexation of who he is not, so that each day he may grow in sureness of himself.

Help me to regard him with genuine affection so he will feel affection for others. Then give me the strength, O Lord, to free him so he can move strongly on his way.

Mikamom- huge congrats to your son and you for the perserverance your son has displayed. It will be that much sweeter because he worked so hard to achieve his goal.

All these posts have made me nostalgic but it really does get easier each year.

You and your spouse will eventually get used to the silence, the clean house, lower grocery bills, and hanging out together again. I admit as much as I love my spouse he's not as much fun as my son! Thats the progression of life- we really only have them a short time before they go out in the world and make their own way.

Hey, there is a positive on the on the "other side":

We put son #1's truck in his name today-off of my insurance-Yes!
Both sons have jobs so off of my health insurance-Yes!
When cell phone contract renews in a few months, off they go-Yes!
No more tuition bills-Yes!
Both have good jobs, so no more needing to slip them a few bucks, sometimes more than a few-Yes!

While baseball-wise it's a little rough initially, financially this growing up thing ain't a bad deal.

Mikamom,

That was an awesome prayer.I am copying that.So true, every word.

Great posts.

And nice pointing out the benefits when they are raised.The savings etc.

We take our guy Sunday, rehab 10 weeks into it, new coach at the helm, new housing situation, its like a first year all over again. Hes ready.Im a MOM.Every ounce of me screams MOM.I will miss him, I will, and am letting go.

I have been blessed to have my children.I thank God every day.I pray to God to keep them safe.I pray for the safety of all of The HSBBW sons and daughters.

Now its getting close to playing ball.FIGHT ON!!!. That's my little USC Trojan addition.LOL

I was sad when both boys left for their new journey.

But the real tears - of joy - occurred when I realized my eldest son was going to be able to get out of the s***hole he originally went to.

I felt a certain responsibility for that mess - as I
wholeheartedly endorsed that disaster.

When he was able to leave and continue at another university - I felt a sense of relief that I still feel today.

My heart goes out to all those parents sending their children off to college for the first time soon.

My tears started when my son came home in June, an official 'Senior'...don't know how I'll deal with this next year but I know the time will go by too fast, for him, and my 4 other ones at home.

quote:

When he was able to leave and continue at another university - I felt a sense of relief that I still feel today.

Ditto on that, its. We had 'move out day' yesterday, as we gathered up my son's stuff for shipping out to California. A friend in New Braunfels had graciously stored it for him. Yesterday we drove San Antonio to El Paso. This morning we'll be heading out of El Paso and on up to Sedona, AZ on our little family trek towards the Bay Area and son's new life at a new school.

I found out long ago
(oh oh oh oh oh oh)
It's a long way down
the holiday road
(oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Holiday road
Holiday road

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
(oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Take a ride on the
west coast kick
(oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Holiday road
Holiday road
Holiday road
Holiday road

I found out long ago
(oh oh oh oh oh oh)
It's a long way down
the holiday road
(oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Holiday road
Holiday road
Holiday road
Holiday road

Enjoy the ride, everybody! WallyWorld is out there!

Great thread for us going through the conflicting emotions of seeing them "march on."

Son checked into the Ath-dorm Thursday. A couple of initial impressions/thoughts. First, wow does he have it good with his very own bedroom, bath, shower and walk-in closet! A far cry from the barracks style dorms many of us had. I remember checking my daughters into FSU some ten years ago. Their Freshman dorm had no AC, two girls paired in a shoe-box room while sharing a common bathroom (wow, todays kids won't do that).

Team meeting last night at 7pm. Upon arrival the 6 Freshman found their 28 teammates seated at the front (no coaches present yet) so they had to "march by" to their seats at the end. Very subtle way of letting them know their place! Son said, "man they were all huge!"

Physicals today, timed 2-mile run (must run under 14 mins or can't practice) and then it all begins tomorrow.

It hits home now, to them, that College baseball is business to the University and Coaching Staff. Also, the players may welcome them if they can help them win but no one is too keen on seeing a Freshman take their spot on the Roster! Rosters at 35 near double the typical high school size.

All that to consider but he's confident and anxious to get going. We are looking forward to being fortunate enough to watch for a few more years! These are memories he will cherish all his life (us too). Now I will have time to catch up on the home "to-do" list before Spring!!!

Prime9 - great description of things!

I think most players are shocked to find out how much fall baseball practice is like football practice without pads. These coaches are deadly serious and they will get top-conditioned athletes - one way or another. I tell all who will listen that it is like marine bootcamp.

For incoming freshman, the best way to get the coach's initial attention is to show up in great shape and start learning how to outwork guys. No small task indeed.

quote:

Originally posted by ClevelandDad:
I tell all who will listen that it is like marine bootcamp.

Good coaches at good programs encourage the upperclass guys to help the newbies to find their way. I never thought in son's program that they showed anything encouragement towards anyone or afraid to lose their position. You learn from the older players. Pitchers w pitchers, catchers w catchers, fielders with fielders. Workout buddies, home visit buddies, lots of team building activities, that IS what the college experience is all about.

If this isn't happening, tell your son to pick out someone who can help show him the way.

Or perhaps that's your perception.

BTW, this is a very good question to ask in recruiting, you want to know that yuor son is going to play where evryone is going in teh right direction (to be succesful whatever that means to each individual team). Ask about team unity and the coaches opinion on that. For us and son, that was very important in his decision.

I live in a house with four women, wife, two daughters and granddaughter. I really miss having a few guys around. But son is more involved with his friends, dad is, well, dad. We did go together to the local air show and had a good time. The first time in a long time we did something non sports related.

Son is back in college with much better roommates and has to reclaim his position on team. Fillsfan, best wishes to your son on his new journey.

We spent four days from Tuesday night to Saturday morning in Mississippi getting our son moved into a three bedroom house that he is sharing with a couple of sophomore teammates. Met the other boys parents, got all the utilities and son's new big screen TV(he bought it--yea!)hooked up. Wife's only worry is the attractive single 24 year old mom that lives next door. I'm sure she's very nice. It was somewhat easier to leave this second year as we know he now has friends, and everything is not a big unknown. When we left we told him we love him and to study hard. Of course I just couldn't resist it--my last words were: Let the ball get deep and use the whole field. I don't think he really needs that anymore at this point but some dads just have a hard time letting go!

quote:

Let the ball get deep and use the whole field. I don't think he really needs that anymore at this point but some dads just have a hard time letting go!

Threebagger ... I love that statement, am still rolling on the floor as that one really hit home!!

lol