Need direction after major disappointment

Catcher Mom - I feel your pain. These things are tough to swallow.

However unfair it may seem, these things do happen. Without knowing anything about your son or the other catcher...it would seem that the "other" catcher must have quite a reputation...very possibly well-deserved. While not seeming fair to your son (very understandable), it may in fact have been the right decision from a talent point-of-view.

And try not to be angry with the "other" catcher either. He may have had a very good reason for not being there...for example he could have been ill or at the USA Baseball tryouts or something like that.

But most importantly I think...its ok for your son to know you're "on his side" in this situation. But don't dwell on it or let him dwell on it. Use it to inspire him to reach higher...let him dream about being the "stud of the universe" and let him try to achieve it. Staying angry will not help him over the summer.

There are many setbacks in any "career," most certainly even more in a baseball career. Some are small (bad day at the plate) and some are of the tougher variety like this one. Move on to the next tryout or event or team function more determined than ever.

Good luck! We'll all be rootin' for him!

Please read the “Area Code Team Tryouts” thread in the Texas Forum. Right now it can be found on page 4 or use the hyperlink below. It has 12 pages of debate and perspective on this subject.

Texas Forum: Area Code Team Tryouts

http://hsbaseballweb.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/7106002781/m/8651079361[/URL]

Thanks for the information. The other catcher was only in a tourny.

Please don't get me wrong. As we personally know the other catcher and he is a great kid.

But I guess I just feel ****** about when is it going to be our turn. Seems like we are always 1 step behind in the process. Seems like to get anywhere it is not just want you know it is who you know also. Sorry venting again. I will try to get out of this forum and go to the ladies section.

It's just ****** that he has put in alot of work, time and effort and we get alot of people telling us that he is great and do this and that. So it just makes me wonder if they are blowing smoke up our a.. or they mean it.

We are going at this blind and we don't know where to be or who to know.

Once again sorry for being so long winded.

I will try to be positive and I guess I need to calm down. My son doesn't even know he has not made it yet.

I need to focus and like you said try to inspire him.

You can do it. You'll be fine.

One other thought from reading your posts. Often, we parents equate hard work, effort and being a "good kid" with getting where/what we want for them. True, this is a great quality and breaks ties and even helps us move ahead...but it is no guarantee.

I'm sure you know that...but as a parent, it is sometimes hard to remember.

Again, good luck moving forward.

Catcher Mom,

If you have time to read the Texas thread on this topic you'll see there are many views on this hot topic. To me, I am only a mother so please consider that when reading this, the boys who made it seemed to be the ones who swung for the fences and threw balistically with no concern where the ball ended up. When my son was young, his father told him that defense wins ball games and being a contact hitter is as good as the swinging for the fences hitter. At 17 he's learned that isn't the case. But that's ok because he has a lot to offer a coach and most power hitters don't have what he has. I understand your pain and frustration but if you can just get past the anger, some smart coach will see all that your son has to offer. Good luck to you both because this is an extremely stressful time for your entire family!

I believe this is a common experience but like most other organizations the area code scouts make their share of mistakes on who they select and everyone knows it. Therefore you shouldn't dwell on this for very long as making the team is not a litmus test for future success. If you son's a good catcher he'll have plenty of other opportunities to show scouts what he has.

Catcher Mom,
You may not want to hear this right now but there is a disturbing trend in your comments. I hope it is just because you are upset and disappointed right now. Getting to the next level in baseball is not political, players are not selected simply by hard work and determination, and it will never be your turn if that is what you are waiting for. Getting to the next level is about talent and skill and being the best available player that fills the need on a team.

The good news is that “best available player” is somewhat subjective and there are other teams.

let me add this for perspective if I may

When I my son came out of HS a young man who had no right be named so , was named Player of the Year in our Tri County Area--trust me it hurt because he wasn't even on the same page as a number of other players including my son--you know what my son told me ?--it was very simple "Dad, he can have the award but he isnt going to college. I am and that is what counts."

Sometimes our kids have a better handle on the situation than we parents do--we just need to talk to them--I do not think they take it has hard as we do

If I might add a little different perspective on your son's high school season.Your son played at least twice against a first round pick in this years draft.The brass attending those games was visable and extensive.I am sure the scouting directors and cross checkers there were looking at all the contestants in those games. They will have reports written on all who show professional abilities.Your son may have solidified a follow on tryout without even knowing he did.He basically had a try out in front of the heaviest hitters (pardon the pun) in professional baseball.

make no mistake area code games are one of the elite for a young player to make.that said i know a player in my area that tried out for the area code games as a pitcher,pitched to the three batters,struck two out ground ball out.didn't make it.BUT recieved about twenty letters from schools interested.and that is the biggest thing in my opinion.what is it you are expecting from the tryout?just being invited from our area is a big deal.that same player was drafted two years later.it's the end result that is important,haed to see that now but you will.keep working hard it will pay off.

Keep in mind, there are lots of good players --even a lot who get to the Major Leagues -- who never get a chance to go to the Area Codes. I am sure there are some political considerations in play, but not many. Every player there is very good, and many, many players not there are better than a lot who are. Stay positive.

Please take this from a parent who has felt a lot of baseball pain these last two years:

Keep telling yourself it's not the journey, but the destination. Keep telling yourself that when things are good and when things are bad. It does help you keep focus.

Catcher mom....Relax...take a couple of breaths.

Baseball is a game. It is not life...as I'm learning at age 45+.

How many organizations make million dollar mistakes? Plenty. And you're worried about a tryout.

Gees.

Keep this in mind, your son has been invited more than once to these tryouts. There are many players who would love to be given even just one shot at the Area Codes.

Yes, it's hard because we are all conditioned to believe that if our son doesn't make the "next step" or isn't on a certain list then others are "passing him by." The reality is that there is always going to be someone who is better, and the other reality is that none of us know how this is going to end. All you can do is try to enjoy the fact that your son is playing a game that he loves, and help him get to play it as long as he can. If he's having fun playing, then it doesn't matter if he wasn't selected on the Area Code team.

Hi catcher mom,...I'm passing you a box of kleenex and some baseballs to go throw at a tree outside somewhere and throw them stinkin' heck-a-HARD!( out of son's view of course )

I'm gonna say something very different than everyone else so far,..I say get as mad as you want! Heck,..I'm mad for ya. Us mom's wear our boys hearts on OUR sleeves and we see/feel all that they go through to get where they are today. When they hurt, we hurt. If anyone says baseball isnt political,... I say they are being dishonest. If two kids are of equal potential and capablity,..it has to come to a deciding factor somewhere, which usually results if someone knows of, has worked with, or played with "so & so". THATS when it gets political.
Some people go by strictly stats,..others dont,..its all part of the big baseball political game. Just depends on the team and the coaches.

Sooo, instead of condeming you for being mad,... which I'd be willing to bet translates into being hurt for your son,...I say,..blow your nose,..throw those balls hard at that stinkin' stupid tree,..and then hug your son.

Life is full of suprises,..and ya just never know what lies ahead,..I bet there are some good journies a comin',..enjoy them with your son!!
Hats off to ya!
A felow baseball mom!

Catcher Mom,

As your son (and you) travel down the baseball road - I sincerely hope that is the worst disappointment you will ever have to face.

Two years ago - my son basically had his baseball career smashed to pieces - and for all the wrong reasons. He ran into alot of bad people - liars and cheats - with bad intentions - and he was almost finished.

I was very angry about what was done to him. But my reaction mattered little. The only reaction that counted was his reaction.

If your son takes the disappointments and uses them as fuel and works harder and doesnt quit on himself - he will most likely get to his next goal.

It really doesnt matter what you think - or what you feel - the only thing that matters is what the player feels and does when faced with disappointments.
IMO.

The area codes are kind of a joke- the college coaches in so cal let a few scouts do their scouting for them- almost every kid that goes is very good- but the tryout process is ridiculous- it is almost impossible to make if a scout hasnt recommended you- so dads and coaches that are well connected get tryouts where some deserving players cant even get a sniff- but wait you can attend an area code camp with 125 kids and in 4 hours -maybe you can be the 3 that can go to tryout from there- but please throw 90 or hit at least 2 bombs in your 10 swings of bp. Whatever you do if you dont make the regular tryout with scout recommendation , dont donate another 100 dollars to studentsports.com -the organization that is making a fortune off this.

I feel guilty in saying this, but son got invites without having to try out, for two teams.
We felt it was a lot of political BS and not interested, and he wasn't either. They know who they want and who they don't want to play. He was too busy trying to get his summer Connie Mack team to the World Series (which they missed by one game).
Bottom line, he didn't go, he got a great scholly and plenty of scouts at HS games pre draft time. Missing an area code game meant nothing.
Bottom line, your son doesn't need all of this stuff. We sometimes think our kids do, but they don't.
You asked for direction, now is the time to start looking for showcases and wood bat tournaments. Contact PG for any events near you. Get him on a good scout team for the fall. And don't worry, if your son is talented, he will be noticed and good things will happen. I wouldn't even consider this a setback, just how life is in the game of baseball.

And I agree, don't take your anger on the player who was chosen, it's not hs fault.

Catchermom
My son was pretty much in the same boat as Tiger Paw Mom, mine was placed on a team without a tryout also, but in ca he was able to be seen pretty easy. The thing is he chose not to attend but continue with his connie mack team to the world series (which they won). My son still had a great selection of schools and went on to play at the school of his choice.Last year he transferred out and has commited to another d-1 school, in addition he was drafted this year by the White Sox so he could be there also. The message I am trying to give is, it is a great thing to attend, but not the end of the world if yours is not there. There are other quality events your player can attend and he will get great exposure. Tell him to get to the events around your parts and be ready when school starts. He just needs to be working hard and playing for himself (and his team),if he is playing to impress the scouts it is additional pressure he add's on himself. If he is good he will get noticed, tell him not to stress over the things he cannot control and concentrate on the things he can.
Good Luck

Catcher Mom,
The Area code's are great. but not the only way to have your son seen.
I've said it before and I will say it again, I'm from the NW.
And player's from the NW need to get out a visit the Rest of the Country to get Noticed.
It's just the way it is.
Go to the college camp's of your son's choice, The coaches need to see you.
Get invited to a Perfect Game are other Good Showcase event.
Just the Fact that your son tried out for Area Code he's been noticed.
Good Luck and keep playing it will all work out. EH

Just remember - no matter how hard it is to do - it is real life - and it is coming fast at this point.

It is OK to vent - that is what all of us old people are here for LOL - but the real deal - and the only deal - is how your son reacts.

Not how you react.

IMO

Catcher Mom, You are touching on a very important part of the hsbbw! It has to do with the parent/son/baseball relationship and the ability of the parent to properly evaluate their sons and to understand where their son fits in the vast variety of baseball lineups. Your son may deserve a spot on the area code games --- I don’t know --- but it shouldn't be a major letdown if he doesn't make it. Our sons have to learn how to get better by winning and they need to learn how to get better when they lose. I've heard a baseball phrases for years that maybe we parents should take heed to: "Baseball is a game of averages." I remember like it was yesterday telling my son he may not make the JV team as a freshman and he was prepared to work for a roster spot for the next year and I was prepared to help him. Sure, I thought he “deserved” it but what I thought was not part of the decision making process. While it may not be fair, they need to play hard and appreciate the things that come their way.
I agree with justbaeball when he said:

quote:

Often, we parents equate hard work, effort and being a "good kid" with getting where/what we want for them. True, this is a great quality and breaks ties and even helps us move ahead...but it is no guarantee.

I have always felt one of the most important ingredients in the player’s “success” is having a parent properly evaluate his talent and to “guide” him in the right direction. This is a real challenge! The first thing we have to understand our sons are not special just because they are our sons. We just need to keep our sons positive, working hard, and keep him pointed in the right direction. Lclcoach pretty much sums it up:

quote:

If he is good he will get noticed, tell him not to stress over the things he cannot control and concentrate on the things he can.

Fungo

Yes there is politics in area code some area code selections and yes this does take away from the whole idea of the games. Anyone that thinks otherwise is a bit on the naive side. ps no I do not have a son that is involved with the area code games at this time.

Some excellent posts on here. Having gone down the college baseball recruiting path with two sons, neither of which found their way on to the ACC/SEC Blue Chip track, some observations:

1. Like life, it really isn't always fair. Certainly there are no guarantees. You will see players get big time attention that seem to be an awfully lot like other players not getting such notice. Accept that it happens and don't let it discourage you. You can't control what the scouts see, or don't see.

2. Don't let a lack of "Big Time" attention get you down. Is it easier to get to the MLB if you're at a big name D-1? Absolutely. Are there many outstanding players in D-II and D-III? Absolutely. Will the lower D-I, D-II and D-III guys get seen as much as the well known D-I's? No, they won't. Will they get "seen" at all? Most likely, especially if they play in a summer woooden bat league and do well.

3. Is not getting to the MLB ultimately fatal? Thankfully, no.

4. Can baseball players that don't get to MLB enjoy playing college ball, get an education, develop a circle of friends that will last a lifetime, and be the envy of many that didn't get even that far? Absolutely.


5. No parent is truly objective. None of us. I recently was told of a conversation between a very knowledgeable and well-respected MLB official and a summer league coach, where the MLB guy lamented that he couldn't figure out why his son didn't generate more interest. If this guy can't be objective, none of us can.

6. Perseverance has its own rewards. I have a son that signed with a D-II,was red-shirted as a freshman, had his mechanics changed and was ignored PT-wise as a sophmore, as a junior transferred to a D-III that he loves, was switched to a 1B only, necessitating learning to hit again after two years without touching a bat, and is working harder than I've ever seen him work to try to win the starting job come fall. Many would've packed it in by now but he truly loves the game. He certainly won't fail for lack of hard work. I hope he wins the spot, but even if he doesn't, the character he is developing through his monster workouts will carry him well along life's path, and will open other doors if not this one.

7. Sometimes the reward is at the end of the journey, and sometimes the journey is the reward. But they never know which will happen, and neither happens if they don't start the journey.

8. Don't lose sleep worrying over things you can't control.

H-1

hokieone - A beautiful post!!!!!

Very good advice for us all!!!

H1
Neither was my son given the time of day by the SEC/ACC schools. How they continue to get by on such incompetence, I'll never figure out.

Hokie....GREAT post!!!!

Hokie,

EXCELLENT post!!!


Dad04,

Heeheehee!!

catchermom,

Here's a story which might help.

My son was all-state as asoph in hs in the preps. decided he wanted to play D1 so he transfered to a public HS for better competition and higher visibility. Had to sit behind a much lesser player until the starting ss got hurt with 2/3 of season over. As a result he didn't get much interest from recruiters. Went to try out for Commonwealth team and didn't make team, future #1 draft choice was selected over him. Got to play on a fall scout team where a small D1 program saw him and he received a small scholarship offer. Senior year he was honorable mention all-state.
In college his soph year he was consensus All-American and couldn't get invited to Team USA tryout despite being in top 10 in every offensive category nationally. Jr year coaching staff rresigned at end of dismal year but son was drafted in 5th round. Went to short season A ball and was hurt. Surgery and rehab followed and in April was sent to High A. He made the All-stars!!!

Moral of story is if you have talent and perservere you will make it regardless of the obstacles.

Tell your son not to give up. Get mad. Get better. Get vindicated.

Thanks to all posters for your insights.

I am much better today. Mom protecting her young I guess. All information given was informative and helpful. It is wonderful to get the full spectrum of ideas and opinions.

We will hold our head up high. I wish well for the ones who made it--especially since we know a few of them.

We will strive for more--it just gets frustrating at times.

You all have a wonderful day!!!

Just realize that in the past here in the PNW that team is mostly pre-selected.

Maybe it is different this year with the Nationals now heading it up.

Just being invited is a great sign he has been noticed.

Vadad you are right. Parents get too invoved in every up and down.
i always told the Michael Jordan story to my son when things looked bleak when he was young. You learn to sit back and enjoy.

I guess I need to look at things a little more open minded. He did receive a call on 7/1 from a D1 school very interested in him. Some one asked about what we wanted from tryouts? That made us (me) think about it? And I think that question applies to alot of things--so still working on an answer for myself on that question.

I think I need to come more often to the sight and read about what others are doing and how they handle things. Probably will make me feel like I am not alone.

Baseball-the only real sport!!!!

Juding by your Seattle, Washington location, is it safe to assume that the discrepancy occured with the Washington Nationals area code team?

Yes it was--but I am feeling better today after reading everybody's opinions.

I wish all the players that made the team all the the luck. We know a few of them and they will enjoy the ride.

We will just have to get on a different ride and enjoy that one.

My son did enjoy his experience again at the tryouts again he was just disappointed he didn't make it.

Oh well--Life goes on right?

It's not "You all have a nice day"; properly spoken, it's:

"Ya'll have a nice day", or
"Ya'll have a nice day now, heah?"


Smiles from one coast to the other.

Catcher Mom,

I’m glad to hear you are feeling better today. I know this can be frustrating but please remember that if baseball was easy it probably wouldn’t be worth playing. Look at all the great stories about how other kids found success. That’s why I told you there would be other teams. My son had to rediscover playing for the love of the game. He refocused on the game instead of trying to advance to the next level and now the advancement takes care of itself. I had to learn the same lesson to be able to help him. It’s more fun to watch him now and he is playing better than ever. I hope you and your son can do the same.

Now that you are feeling better, one more story to share.
My son tried out for the USA youth team many years ago. He was competing against 2003's, he was a young 2004. Many of the players became high draft choices ( Milledge as an example). He knew as soon as he got there he wasn't going to make the team tryouts, also somewhat political, but enjoyed every moment and for him was a valuable learning experience.

Every tryout, whether you make the team or not, should be a learning experience. Got to turn any negatives into positives, or else you will fail in this sport.

My son has had a similar experienmce to Its' son. Frankly, in our experience, is is not only the best player who gets picked/drafted or whatever...it is sometimes the player with alot of "exposure/hype" or whatever you want to call it. You must get used to it, because it happens at all levels. Ignore those that impune your son does not have the talent that "the other guy" had/has. If it makes you feel any better, the Yankees just spent a couple million on a 16 year old catcher...this should at the very least be interesting to watch. Now THATS a PROSPECT!