No good choices sometimes

Sometimes you have to make choices. My son quit two sports for baseball. After playing football in 7th and 8th grade he decided banging on Friday didn't mix well with weekend fall ball. He also said he was afraid an injury would keep him out of baseball. Since he had played travel soccer since U9 he returned to school soccer freshman year.

In basketball the choice was made for him. He was the starting point guard freshman year. He expected to start on jv soph year followed by two years of playing varsity point guard. Soph year the varsity coach cut him from the program for missing all the optional fall workouts (busy with varsity soccer and fall ball) and not playing in a summer league. He told him no way could he excel in three sports.

My son got injured without playing football. He tore his MCL and PCL playing baseball. Then he fell down and injured his shoulder in rehab. The lesson he learned too late was just play and whatever happens, happens.

Growing up includes making choices. Good for your son, sounds like he has accepted it but you may not have.

Why sit and dwell over it.

I don't blame the coach, if he can't play he doesn't belong on the team.  If the coach changes his mind, he is a hypocrite. I wouldn't let my son play for such a coach. And I would encourage my son to stick with his gut feeling.

Looking back there are so many things that son has missed out on playing the game of bb both in HS, college and on the professional level.  One including having to break off an engagement, which took the wind out of his sails for awhile. Not all that sure that playing the game replaces lost things in other areas, but those are the choices he has made and he and we (his family) live by it and accept what is and not what could have been.

Better get used to it now.

jp24,

I'm not sure I understand the title of the thread...."no good choices sometimes".  I think your son has made an excellent decision for his situation.  It is certainly logical and well thought out IMHO.  He's evaluated the required football commitment, football injury risk, long term baseball goals and decided on the path that best suits him.  

Kids today are having to make difficult decisions at younger and younger ages.  In our school district, 8th grade kids are making high school decisions about academic programs at specialty centers (math/science, engineering, etc) in other high school (away from childhood friends).  There are many academic and athletic choices today, and sometimes as parents we have to realize that our kids are making very tough adult decisions at a young age.  On some days, it isn't easy being a kid these days.

I guess we are in a smaller district in Texas because when baseball starts, 90% of the Varsity baseball team is comprised of the Varsity football starters. 

There is no spring football at our 2A school.  Based on the O.P.'s sons predicament I'm glad there isn't any spring football. 

Our son had to make similar decisions based on his desire to attend a Fall PG Event and the Arizona Fall Classic.  Wasn't a big deal for my son, but he told me on Father's Day, and I had a hard time dealing with it.  I had always dreamed of my son playing QB under the Friday Night Lights, and truthfully, my son is a lot more mature than I am.  He made the right decision, and he hasn't looked back. A bonus to me is that he will play his senior season, since he used this Fall to acquire his offer to play college baseball.  I say follow your heart, make a good decision, and do what's best for you.

jp - Glad you shared that story.  I can feel it.  I get it.  Seems to me you have a very fine son.

Thanks, justbaseball. Wasn't sure about this one ...but I'm here for perspective from those who've been there .. and as always happens, I'm getting it:

TPM began her post with her priceless reputation for honesty: "Sounds like he has accepted it but you may not have." (I can't honestly argue, TPM. Mom, especially, hurts -- but so do I). TPM then went on to offer real perspective: Her son, who's made it further than most of our boys can only imagine, had to "break off an engagement."

There it is. Tough, life-affecting choices. 

Maybe, as Fenwaysouth says, my post title isn't exactly right ... but the point is -- and we all know this as adults and parents -- even when we know what the right choice is for ourselves ... and even when we get out of the way and let our sons and daughters make the right choices for their lives, there's a cost.

And we (ME) had better "get used to it."

ALL THAT TO SAY AS WELL: The cheerleader in Coach2709's post is only delaying the inevitable -- and there's a cost to that, too.

(The football team WON, by the way!!)

How many states have Spring football?  I understand Texas HS football is huge....but football is pretty big here in Ohio too.  This is HS...not college.  To expect HS kids to basically commit 2 of their 3 HS seasons to football is a bit ridiculous.

Agree, Buckeye, and I'd love to know the answer to that, too. Here in Texas, it's the norm for all 4A and 5A high schools. Would like to know what HSBBW coaches and ADs think.

BTW -- when JP's HS football coach called me, he said he'd spoken with seven other HS coaches he respected about his dilemma. Five told him "You can't make an exception." Two told him, "Make it work ... if you need him, be flexible. For the program."

I suspect there are HS football coaches like these last two, who understand that SPRING football shouldn't carry so much weight. But as all of us baseball parents know, our sons'  chosen sport is way too often viewed as the 'other HS sport' in this day and age.

It is what it is.

I strongly feel and believe that we (HS coaches) do not own these kids and to openly or subtly force them into specializing is what is forcing some kids towards travel / AAU / Showcase sports.  I don't expect a kid to love the game as much as I do but I do expect them to respect the game.  Which means when it's my season then you commit to my team.  For baseball that's Feb to late May / early June but once that's over then it's their time to do whatever they want.

I'm going to do summer teams and offseason workouts for those who want to do it but if a kid is playing another sport we should be doing everything in our power to help them out.  That's typically through just being supportive and asking how it's going and going to those games.  

But sometimes tough decisions need to be made because you can't do everything or as others have said you can't have your cake and eat it too.  If I expect and demand they commit to my team in the spring then they should respect whatever other sport they are in.  For example - if a kid is playing football then they shouldn't be doing fall ball at the same time.  In all honesty if they are doing football right then they shouldn't be able to play baseball Saturday.  But here is where a kid has to make a tough decision - if he's truly wanting to play baseball at the next level then they either have to focus on baseball or be willing to do other things to get noticed instead of trying to do both football and baseball in the fall.

Look if you played for me your freshman and sophomore years and then decide you want to focus on another sport instead of playing baseball in the spring then be a man and tell me.  I'm not going to try and talk you out of it but I will try to ask you questions to see if you're 100% sure this is what you want to do.  If it is then we will shake hands and go our separate ways but I'm still going to support you in your other sport.

My son was the starting Qb for three years. My baseball friends thought I was crazy for "letting" my son play football. Then when my son broke his collarbone in his sophomore year, i really heard from those from those friends! ( he recovered with no side effects and  was a starter on the varsity baseball team that following spring) I tried to explain to them that is was not my decision it east was his. I had friends tell me that a 16 year old boy should not be allowed decisions on his own. We decide sit down and explain the pros and cons, but he made the decision , sounds like just what JP24 did. 

At our school most of the coaches are just like coach2079, they want commitment for their season but help support the multi sport athletes, the one exception is the basketball coach. I do remember that my son was a little nervous when he went to meet his baseball coach with his arm in the sling, but the coach was a pro and all he said is that we have to get you healthy and get you ready for the season.

JP, your son is  getting pressure to play football, mine was getting pressure not to play,  your son has made an informed decision. Now that the ball has been "hiked), support the heck out of the decision. It will all work out! Best of Luck!

We are talking about off season commitment -- if he doesn't play spring football he can't play in the fall.  Reminds me of an old story about Walter Payton.  Walter wouldn't attend the team's offseason workouts.  Turns out, he had is own workout -- running "the hill."  Then one day at the opening of training camp (early in Walter's career), some "new" players where upset that Walter didn't attend the offseason workout.  Then they gave Walter the ball during a team scrimmage.  Bing, bang, boom and he was off for the TD.  The "new" players then understood why there was an exception.

IMO, if there is a legitimate reason for the HS athlete to miss offseason workouts then it should be permitted.  The athlete must understand, that it may affect his ability to start or contribute once the season rolls around.  It will be up to the athlete to make up for the missed time.  But he should be given that chance.  HS coaches need to remember the funnel -- most HS athletes will not play in college. 

That sucks JP.  I hate when coaches are so myopic that they make rules that do not benefit the kid or school.  My son goes to a school that has one of the best football programs in Texas, and the head football coach goes to the HS baseball games and cheers for the players that also play football for him, (and the others as well).  My son stopped playing football as a sophomore, but says he wished he had played as a senior.  Of course that is easy to say, but if he got hurt and did not get an offer to play for a good baseball school, (like his friend that was hurt his senior year playing football and had D1 baseball offer rescinded), he probably would have had a different opinion.

Sounds to me like you and your son are doing a great job dealing with this problem. Maybe your HS football coach will rethink his policy, if not for you guys, other players coming in future years. 

I played HS football graduating in 1968. At that time common sense regarding the importance of sports was abundant. We played with whomever went to the school. No recruiting. There were no TV distractions. All sports were equal with their own time slot during the year clearly laid out. Regarding football 2 a days started in August and the season ended in November. Winter sports then took center stage followed by spring. Clear and concise with no overlap. Personally, I feel the football gorilla has gotten too big. No kid in HS should have any pressure with regards to what sport(s) they play. It shouldn't be about the needs of the school. 

As our children have gotten older it has become increasingly difficult for them to remain 3 or 4 season athletes as each sport creeps into the other's seasons.  My oldest son's first love and best sport is baseball, but he is an excellent soccer and ice  hockey player and plays both high school and club level in all 3 sports.  Coaches love his athleticism - and it comes from being able to play all 3 sports.  Not only does it help him physically to develop other muscles, avoid repetitive use injuries, and increase his speed and endurance, it also benefits him psychologically where he is not burning out from playing one sport year round, and it benefits him socially from learning how to work on different team environments with different coaches and different kids.  My son is a great baseball player because he also participates in 2 other high level sports.

It seems, though, that this level in any sport the expectation is to play year round - fall ball, indoor soccer, etc.  and that does not always benefit the athlete.  So far we have been able to make it work and my son is a master at managing his time.  We wish that more coaches, though would not only talk the talk about how important it is for athletes to participate in other sports, but also walk the walk.

As if spring football practice wasn't enough for the 4A & 5A school, in our part of Texas the smaller schools have 7 on 7 football programs in the summer that the quarterbacks, receivers and backs are certainly expected to attend and more than one local quarterback has had to skip summer baseball to play. Some of the local high schools were pretty firm about players attendance.

We have that, too. At least in our case, playing summer baseball is a reason to not be there.

For now.