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Junior has been invited to visit a few campuses this fall.  (These are D3 schools, so these are at our own expense, but coaches have extended the offer to come stay with a player, watch a fall game, etc.)  I have some really basic questions:  

1)  Should we put the boy on a plane and let him do this on his own, or is the expectation that a parent will be in town, too?  Obviously I'm not going to stay in a dorm room with him.  But should my wife or I plan to get a hotel room and be around to meet with the coach?  My son is 18 and an experienced traveler--he doesn't help to take a flight, Uber to campus, then do the reverse to get home.  And at the schools he is visiting, we aren't going to be able to haggle over merit scholarships or other monetary issues, so I don't need to be around for that.  My inclination is to let him handle this on his own.  

2)  What's the expected timeline?  One campus, for example, has some fall scrimmages on Friday afternoon, then a couple more on Sunday.  Is the overnight visit typically just that--a single night?  In which case, I guess Jr flies up on Friday morning and leaves on Saturday?  Or should he plan to stay for the weekend (Friday and Saturday nights)?

My son can (and will) ask the coaches about some of this info; but their emails to him seem to assume that he knows the drill, so I'd appreciate any info y'all can offer.  

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Hey Chico Congrats!  This is all good stuff for your son.  My 2017 always did his OV with me because we live on the east coast and we drove to all the overnight visits.  Even all the way up to Maine.  We had already visited the west coast school he was considering before stanford camp so we did not feel the need to spend all that $ and fly back there.  However now that he is a junior at a HA D3 I have paid a lot of attention to visiting recruits, and have seen it both ways.  I've seen boys, esp those taking flights, come solo.  I know one of our coaches even ran 2 boys to the airport last fall!  Many times I spoke to the visiting mom or dad too at a game.  One family I met during their OV came last year and it was nice for them to already have a friendly face I think.  My son and roommates have hosted a bunch now too so Ive heard from him info as well.  

I would minimize the school your son would have to miss if I were you, and in the case of the Fri aft/Sun aft scrimmages, maybe send him Saturday through Sunday.  Most boys stay only one night, but it is not against any protocol to stay more, it is more that your son will likely not need two nights to make a decision if he could see himself there.  At one of my son's OV, he could not wait to leave as he did not like the team vibe or campus very much and so why spend more time there?  Usually an overnight/24 hours or even less is sufficient.  Usually there will be a handful of other recruits that weekend too.  

The usual timeline will depend on the school and what weekend you pick.  For some schools, they like to get their "top" guys there for a big weekend, like homecoming etc.  so there might be a tailgate and a football game to see, or also for reunion/alumni weekend so there is a little more action on campus.  Depending on when the player arrives (and if with parents), the usual drill is to meet a coach and get introduced to your host.  There may or may not be a meeting with the coach too, and a tour of campus etc.  Usually you will get meal tickets or something too (just for the player).  If you have not been on campus, it might be a good idea to see if tours are offered when you go and sign up if so.  The coach/host usually only tour the player around the athletic facilities.  

At most campuses, the player will hang out on Fri or Sat night with guys on the team, usually there will be a party etc.  There is usually alcohol involved, and depending upon your son, the team culture etc, it is not absolutely taboo to drink or not drink.  No current players will go and say to the coaches this recruit drank/did not drink.  Each player/family has to decide how to handle that, esp since at most places you sign a pledge not to engage etc.  In our case, my son was NOT a big drinker in HS as I was very strict with him, but he would have a beer or two on campus, but not more than that.  Just prepare your son as you all see fit (most HS students have been to parties with alcohol and you are all dreaming if you think that is not true).  

The parents, if there, do not go to dinner or the campus party!  I usually went back early to the hotel, or if I had friends/family nearby made it a chance to visit.  Parents are invited and welcome to come to the scrimmage/game though.  Usually the coach will meet with the recruit one on one before they leave town, and talk about an offer or where they stand.  If a parent is there, they usually join in this.  But if so, the player should do the overwhelming majority of the talking and the parent should be in the background so to speak.  No coach wants a helicopter parent to have to deal with for 4 years,

It is good to have your son have a few questions ready to go so when the coach says "do you have any questions" he is prepared!  Some my son used, were what do most of the guys do over the summer (do you help with summer team placements as an add on to that)?  If he did not have an offer yet, he asked where he stood.  If he did have an offer, he asked what the timeline was for him to make a decision.  He also asked sometimes how the coach thought the team would do this spring (just an easy question to get conversation going).  I know boys have used this time to ask about two way prospects (mine did) or the ability to be pre med/engineering etc (mine did not as he is not).  

I hope this helps; I answered publicly rather than through a PM so anyone else could read this and maybe have a better understanding, or even more questions (which I am happy to answer if I can).  

 

 

 

Everything TwoBoys said is great. 

We had one parent go with son on all visits, this was partly because we either drove, or flew and rented a car, partly because we figured only one night with the players, but we usually needed another night in a hotel to make it work -  travelled Friday afternoon after school, stayed in hotel, went to campus Saturday morning, met with coach, saw practice/scrimmage, son went off with players, saw coach again Sunday morning and then left for home.  I think once it was Thursday-Saturday, so son could attend a class.

Also, I thought it was helpful to have a parent ask the coach "what level of support are you offering?  how many players with this level of support have been admitted?"  That's a question that is awkward for the player to ask.  But I agree all the other questions should come from the player.

Good nuts and bolts stuff twoboys.

I would have a parent travel with him.   While he may be an experienced traveler, he is still in high school.   The parent doesn't have to do a lot, but this is a new experience for him.   My son did a number of OVs and un-OVs.   There were many things that happened that were not on the itinerary.  Trust me, you don't know what is going to happen during his visit.  I could give examples, but for the sake of time I won't. 

Also, this is a huge family investment in his education.   Don't you want to know where that large sum of money is going?   I put 3 kids through college.  They each had some skin in the game, but my wife and I knew where that money was going and its purpose.   Despite your comments above, I would visit the Financial Aid office and make some new friends.  You just never know until you ask...my son received a nice annual merit award that we were not expecting.  Yes, dive into the details at each school so when it is time to compare you have your facts for you and your son.   Good luck!

As always, JMO.

Parents need to go. At a D3, this is the ONLY Time that you get to interface with the coach. Use this time to ask the questions that are important at a family level (not baseball). It is the only time that parents will have an opportunity to evaluate the character of the coach and substance of the program.

ILVBB posted:

Parents need to go. At a D3, this is the ONLY Time that you get to interface with the coach. Use this time to ask the questions that are important at a family level (not baseball). It is the only time that parents will have an opportunity to evaluate the character of the coach and substance of the program.

I think that’s sound advice. But I met with the coaches in question during visits to campus this summer (Jr made arrangements to see coaches while there for standard campus tours). Does that change your answer, or would you still recommend a parent go along when a son does an overnight with a current baseball team member?

ILVBB posted:

Parents need to go. At a D3, this is the ONLY Time that you get to interface with the coach. Use this time to ask the questions that are important at a family level (not baseball). It is the only time that parents will have an opportunity to evaluate the character of the coach and substance of the program.

Worth a requote. If anything I would say this is understated. 

old_school posted:
ILVBB posted:

Parents need to go. At a D3, this is the ONLY Time that you get to interface with the coach. Use this time to ask the questions that are important at a family level (not baseball). It is the only time that parents will have an opportunity to evaluate the character of the coach and substance of the program.

Worth a requote. If anything I would say this is understated. 

I'm sure  it varies widely but this is true for us as well.  We spent 2 hours with my son's coach when we visited, and I have not spoken with him since, which is fine.  Of course my son talks with him all the time.

ehh...depends on your kid. My 2018 is a  smart(not genius) kid, who has the ability to read people and  situations well. We sent him off to a couple of HA D3 camps camps by his lonesome. One offered on the spot, the other didn't, but encouraged him to apply ED(bit of a mistake, but no harm done). We found at the smaller HA schools that the financial and otherwise people were very responsive when contacted by phone or email, should we want to talk about money, or other issues.

For Other local schools we came along for the ride, and had varying degrees of contact with the coach and school. Same with a couple/few long distance options.

 

   The D3 stuff is pretty easy, IMO. Determine if you;

- love the school

- like the coach

- like the team

- can stomach the (estimated)price, should you apply ED.

 

I found that if you are good enough of a player(say top 20% ), that they will welcome you at a D3 team if you apply RD, but the coaches never tell you that unless they are pushed.

 

 

  

Last edited by 57special

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