P16 that's good news for your son. I'm sure this has been a valuable experience for him about how to communicate concerns with a figure in authority. I think we tend to forget how difficult it is for our young boys/men to number one say I can'tand number two, know it is OK to approach the coach with concerns.
I'm new to this site and just found your thread. Unfortunately, like you I am a converted baseball fan because the three men in my life (one old, the other two teenagers) have a deep love for the game. There is so much more to the game and to pitching than a casual fan would ever know.
Having qualified my experience I would like to mention one thing that I did not see addressed in the thread. My son is a senior and is just returning to play from TJ surgery. We thought we were educated parents, watching pitch counts, days rest, appropriate training and conditioning. When he saw the surgeon the first thing he asked was how many hard throws a week....not just game pitching and bull pens, but also practice and other positions in games. My son had been playing first base in travel ball, but in high school they had another player they needed at first, so to play as a Freshman and Sophmore, he took third base. They worked infield hard in practices, and he was always in the game, either pitching or 3B. Of course we know of other times where he was overused in a pitching capacity, both in travel and hs, and that this was not the sole contributor, it was just not something we considered.
I'm posting this because I know that it is not uncommon in high school for the ace pitcher to be a key position player as well. Just wanted to share some wisdom gained that someone else may find useful.
Sounds like things are going in a positive direction. The important thing to remember is that they boy is YOUR son and responsibility. We have all seen stud pitchers overused so that a coach can win conference/district/region/state, etc.
If your coach's focus is on HIS success a parent has to be more vigilant about how his/her son is used. If the coach's focus is on developing potential and preparing the boy for college/pros a bit less scrutiny might be warranted.
If the boy is the team ace and you feel he is being overused/abused the boy should discuss the situation with the coach. If you are not satisfied with how the issue is resolved you must discuss it with the coach. After that it depends on whether the coach would rather have less of the boy's services or none of it.
If the issue cannot be resolved to your satisfaction you have to decide whether to pull your son from the program. It would be a difficult decision but made with your boy's long term health in mind. If he can pitch at the college level there are other avenues for college coaches to discover him.
If your coach's focus is on HIS success a parent has to be more vigilant about how his/her son is used. If the coach's focus is on developing potential and preparing the boy for college/pros a bit less scrutiny might be warranted.
If the boy is the team ace and you feel he is being overused/abused the boy should discuss the situation with the coach. If you are not satisfied with how the issue is resolved you must discuss it with the coach. After that it depends on whether the coach would rather have less of the boy's services or none of it.
If the issue cannot be resolved to your satisfaction you have to decide whether to pull your son from the program. It would be a difficult decision but made with your boy's long term health in mind. If he can pitch at the college level there are other avenues for college coaches to discover him.
" if the issue cannot be resolved to your satisfaction you have to decide whether to pull your son from the program"
WHOA--whatever happend to a kid earning his position ?---you are so typical of what is wrong with Youth and HS sports---realize one thing--the coach runs the team not the parents
Who the heck are you to have to right to "resolve" the situation to your satisfaction? You are the parent who will be calling the College AD after the first week of practice in your sons freshman year complaining about playing time and injustices being
It is truly scary where this is all going !! But you know what !!! for the kids and parents who domit the right way we keep going as coaches and program directors---the staisfaction of seeing these kids succeed is worth all the pains we go thru with parents like you---
BOTTOM LINE___ many parents need to realize that their LITTLE JOHNNY does not have the required talent to continue on down the road
= = MODERATOR COMMENT: The above post is one that I would consider deleting if it was posted by a new member, and sending a PM to that member explaining my concerns. But I've had quite a few discussions like this with TR, and I realize that he does not plan to change his approach. Rather than deleting this post, I will publicly apologize here. It looks like this comment was directed to mcdad2. Mcdad2, I apologize to you for the above comment. You sound like a nice person who has offered reasonable encouragement to a new member of our forums. Personally I believe that the question of over-use is one of the few issues when a parent might have to step in and talk to the coach. Your comment seems reasonable and you should not be insulted and personally attacked for it. If TR disagrees with your advice, he has the right to state his disagreement. But it is not acceptable for him to insult you like this: "you are so typical of what is wrong...", "You are the parent who will be calling the College AD..." etc. I don't understand how those accusations relate to your post at all, mcdad2, though I realize that this could be a carry-over from some other discussion that I haven't read. I'm sorry to have to comment like this in TR's post, but I don't want to just sit back and let it appear that these accusations and insults are approved of by moderators or the site owner. Signed, Julie (MN-Mom) = =
WHOA--whatever happend to a kid earning his position ?---you are so typical of what is wrong with Youth and HS sports---realize one thing--the coach runs the team not the parents
Who the heck are you to have to right to "resolve" the situation to your satisfaction? You are the parent who will be calling the College AD after the first week of practice in your sons freshman year complaining about playing time and injustices being
It is truly scary where this is all going !! But you know what !!! for the kids and parents who domit the right way we keep going as coaches and program directors---the staisfaction of seeing these kids succeed is worth all the pains we go thru with parents like you---
BOTTOM LINE___ many parents need to realize that their LITTLE JOHNNY does not have the required talent to continue on down the road
= = MODERATOR COMMENT: The above post is one that I would consider deleting if it was posted by a new member, and sending a PM to that member explaining my concerns. But I've had quite a few discussions like this with TR, and I realize that he does not plan to change his approach. Rather than deleting this post, I will publicly apologize here. It looks like this comment was directed to mcdad2. Mcdad2, I apologize to you for the above comment. You sound like a nice person who has offered reasonable encouragement to a new member of our forums. Personally I believe that the question of over-use is one of the few issues when a parent might have to step in and talk to the coach. Your comment seems reasonable and you should not be insulted and personally attacked for it. If TR disagrees with your advice, he has the right to state his disagreement. But it is not acceptable for him to insult you like this: "you are so typical of what is wrong...", "You are the parent who will be calling the College AD..." etc. I don't understand how those accusations relate to your post at all, mcdad2, though I realize that this could be a carry-over from some other discussion that I haven't read. I'm sorry to have to comment like this in TR's post, but I don't want to just sit back and let it appear that these accusations and insults are approved of by moderators or the site owner. Signed, Julie (MN-Mom) = =
This kid has already earned his spot. He is the team ace. So if he gets hurt because of over use. Should I as a parent stand by and do nothing? I think fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. If it's not handle and the player won't handle it then a parent has an obligation to handle it.
okay okay...we have already hashed out a lot of this once 
. TRHit...I know that you remember that this was not a case of not enough playing time, but a concern for too much. As a parent, of an underage young man, I do feel a responsibility to protect his health and well-being as much as it is within my power to. That said, I also agree that this would be best left for son to handle if he can do so. We had a lot of heart to hearts over this and he did talk with pitching coach at my request. He would have continued to pitch until he really hurt himself to please this coach and support his team. We had to intervene and paint a picture for him to see the possible long term consequences. But again, all that has already been discussed. The conversation with the coach happened because he approached us. The conversation was positive and good and I think things will be all right.
BUT...if things should start to go off the deep end, I will step in if, for whatever reason, son can't step up. As a parent that is my responsibility.
Son is in his Senior year, so venues for having him seen for college will be pretty much past after this season. He has options now, and as it stands decisions will be made by May 1st.
I really just wanted to give an update as I had promised some I would. Didn't mean to get things all stirred up again--for that I apologize. Thanks to you all again.
. TRHit...I know that you remember that this was not a case of not enough playing time, but a concern for too much. As a parent, of an underage young man, I do feel a responsibility to protect his health and well-being as much as it is within my power to. That said, I also agree that this would be best left for son to handle if he can do so. We had a lot of heart to hearts over this and he did talk with pitching coach at my request. He would have continued to pitch until he really hurt himself to please this coach and support his team. We had to intervene and paint a picture for him to see the possible long term consequences. But again, all that has already been discussed. The conversation with the coach happened because he approached us. The conversation was positive and good and I think things will be all right. BUT...if things should start to go off the deep end, I will step in if, for whatever reason, son can't step up. As a parent that is my responsibility.
Son is in his Senior year, so venues for having him seen for college will be pretty much past after this season. He has options now, and as it stands decisions will be made by May 1st.
I really just wanted to give an update as I had promised some I would. Didn't mean to get things all stirred up again--for that I apologize. Thanks to you all again.
quote:Originally posted by mcdad2:
If the issue cannot be resolved to your satisfaction you have to decide whether to pull your son from the program. It would be a difficult decision but made with your boy's long term health in mind. If he can pitch at the college level there are other avenues for college coaches to discover him.
I must be one of those parents too who was so typical of youth and HS sports.
In another thread, both Fungo and myself posted about situations where our son's arm health could be at risk. I do feel though, this is the only time a parent needs to step in and will always feel that way. We felt our LITTLE JOHNNY had talent down the road, you better beleive my husband spoke up about over use when he had to.
Pmom16,
When a coach wants to make decisions over rosters, playing time, batting orders, game strategies, etc., he is entirely right to expect parents to keep it zipped and let him do his job unimpeded.
When a coach thinks his authority extends to abusing a teenager in his quest to win today's game, he has lost his freakin' mind, and someone responsible had better step in before somebody gets hurt.
For a coach to take the "my way or the highway" attitude in this situation, as TR suggests, is nothing more than being a bully. And bullies must be stood up to.
If I approached a coach about throwing my son 160 pitches and the coach gave me the attitude TR is showing here, I would not rest until that coach was fired. This is not game strategy. This is a health and safety issue where there is medical consensus about the risks involved, and for a coach to ignore that medical consensus is reckless and abusive.
Next you'll tell me that if the coach wants to send the catcher out there with no gear to "toughen him up", we should just sit and watch that kid learn his lesson. (Saw someone do this once, in Little League if you can believe it. It was his last day as a coach, at any level. Good riddance. He's lucky he wasn't prosecuted, because what he did is a crime.)
When a coach thinks his authority extends to abusing a teenager in his quest to win today's game, he has lost his freakin' mind, and someone responsible had better step in before somebody gets hurt.
For a coach to take the "my way or the highway" attitude in this situation, as TR suggests, is nothing more than being a bully. And bullies must be stood up to.
If I approached a coach about throwing my son 160 pitches and the coach gave me the attitude TR is showing here, I would not rest until that coach was fired. This is not game strategy. This is a health and safety issue where there is medical consensus about the risks involved, and for a coach to ignore that medical consensus is reckless and abusive.
Next you'll tell me that if the coach wants to send the catcher out there with no gear to "toughen him up", we should just sit and watch that kid learn his lesson. (Saw someone do this once, in Little League if you can believe it. It was his last day as a coach, at any level. Good riddance. He's lucky he wasn't prosecuted, because what he did is a crime.)
Pitcher16mom
That's awesome news!
Your story has enlightened many of us and others will learn from it.
Thank you!
quote:He has options now, and as it stands decisions will be made by May 1st.
That's awesome news!
Your story has enlightened many of us and others will learn from it.
Thank you!