Over the top parents

The parents that I know that were D1 college players or pro-players (baseball) are NOT the ones exhibiting the behavior you describe. After watching 15 years of youth baseball I will say that while parents that have have their own success may be very focused - they do not seem to be the maniacs in the crowd.

quote:

Originally posted by d8:
rodeo

Cool!!

Tell us more.

Concur with both of you.

I have seen it go both ways.

Some 'over-the-top' parents drive their kids away from the game (eventually) while some seem to have helped to create a swagger in their son that ultimately pays off.

One thing I DO SEE that is common amongst parents of very successful baseball players (as well as the players themselves). Talking about college/pro players. The common thread I see is that as they look back they advise nearly everyone following them to make sure and enjoy every moment, stop and smell the roses and keep it fun as long as you can. I know I sure feel that way as does my older son...and I think it has helped make our younger son's journey a bit more enjoyable for him and us.

I'M NOT OVER THE TOP, YOU'RE OVER THE TOP!!!

YesReally, is right. Most player of parent who act this way will not make it in baseball or any sport. They burn the kid out early on. Most player who make it past HS, have parents who know their place and can handle the ups and downs of the game.

Luckily for my son, against all odds, he is one who made it to the next level even though his Dad was an AZZZZZ at times

Highly agreed YesReally but there are always exceptions to the rule.

The parents I enjoy studying are the ones watching their second child play after the older one is playing D1 or pro-ball. Now they are getting a second bite of the apple after having a child succeed the first time. My experience is that those parents are VERY quiet but for appropriate cheering. I'd love to hear from some of them What are you doing the same way - what are you doing differently?

Abi
My five year old has started riding this year. Here she is cheezing with her first buckle from this week end.

Ha, that's great, dB. Looks like a natural.

quote:

Originally posted by YesReally:
The parents I enjoy studying are the ones watching their second child play after the older one is playing D1 or pro-ball. Now they are getting a second bite of the apple after having a child succeed the first time. My experience is that those parents are VERY quiet but for appropriate cheering. I'd love to hear from some of them What are you doing the same way - what are you doing differently?

Great thought and justBB could offer a good perspective with his 2 sons. I would wonder if there is more pressure on the parents of the second son wondering the their "direction". I can imagine there are many nights you sit in bed and wonder about the new path and what might change.

rz1 - I would say we felt less pressure. Considerably less anxiety. Not totally sure why...just a realization that the 'fun' part of it is the most important I guess?

quote:

Originally posted by justbaseball:
rz1 - I would say we felt less pressure. Considerably less anxiety. Not totally sure why...just a realization that the 'fun' part of it is the most important I guess?

Maybe it's because my kids participated in different sports but I felt more pressure with the girls because I always felt they looked at their older brother and his success and hoped they could achieve the same level of "excitement" in their lives. That is where I thought as a parent it was my responsibility to provide enough opportunity and similar level of "parental push" . Even though my twin daughters have water skied at international levels, I've found out over the years that the most important aspect for them besides not sinking, was to make sure the dressers are full of swimsuits and that they look good in them .

Moral of the story.......every kid is different.

I have seen the kids of bad parents do well.

The performance of the parents behind the fence, has nothing to do with the performance of the kid on the field.

quote:

Originally posted by SultanofSwat:
I have seen the kids of bad parents do well.

The performance of the parents behind the fence, has nothing to do with the performance of the kid on the field.

I'm sure there are many many situations where that holds true. However, I think most times there is a direct relationship to obnoxious parents and kids who do not live up to everyone's expectations.

I have known jbb for quite sometime, back to the days our sons (both same HS grad year) were being recruited and IMO this time around I never heard a word except when son committed. He was a cool cucumber for sure.

I would imagine that second time around, one basically knows and has a better understanding of where the second one fits in (especially after watching the first go through it).

I get a kick out of the fact that both boys ended up in same conference.

You all can learn a lot by reading and taking advice from jbb.

sportsfan5,

At least you admit it, most won't.

I think in some way we have all been "over the top" in our own way. I think it's also a matter of respecting your player, most kids don't really like the show their parents put on at games.

quote:

The performance of the parents behind the fence, has nothing to do with the performance of the kid on the field.

I agree in theory. But in practice there are definitely exceptions. An over the top parent's behavior can certainly affect a player's performance during a given game. And in the long run, can affect the player's desire to continue.

Several of those posting in this thread, I happen to know.

Having seen their sons at a younger age and also seeing the results... I would say there is no book to learn from. All these kids must have had the right parent! Yet, none of the parents is the same as another.

It just dawned on me. I might actually know more parents on here than anyone. I consider myself a good scout when it comes to evaluating parents. Now if only I were better at evaluating their kids.

I think everyone knows by now, that this is a very good group of parents who contribute here. Though, I do wish some of the old timers would return.

BTW, I think the second one is easier. The first one being the lesson.

Sportsfan,

I truly believe you are a big reason for your son's success. Sometimes even the mistakes turn out for the good. Your son has some traits that could only be molded at home. Now it is all up to him!

quote:

Originally posted by PGStaff:
It just dawned on me. I might actually know more parents on here than anyone. I consider myself a good scout when it comes to evaluating parents. Now if only I were better at evaluating their kids.

PG, I'll bet that if you have not already you are very close to being able to say you've evaluated generations of families. That my friend IMO is when you know you have made an impact on your profession.

I don't think you can there is an certain "criteria" in which a parent would go overboard. We have some high profile players where the parents were overbearing when their son's were younger but not nearly as bad when they got into HS. They actually leave us alone but maybe the HS coach is not so lucky.

There was a dad who on my daughter's softball team who made me sick. His daughter was our best player. He would tell her such horrible things as "You are terrible", You are embarrassing me" and the worst was "I don't even know why we had you and you *** is going to walk home if you don't do better" Needless to say, I couldn't control myself and ask he not talk that way to her in front of her teammates. That didn't go over very well. He told me he is trying to get his daughter to the "next level". He then asked me what do I know about coaching. I bit my tongue. I must state this is for 8 under girls rec softball!

Now, we are coaching against him and the girls on his team are not happy campers. We are 1-5 and our parents are excited about our girls improving so much. They parents have expressed to us that their daughters love coming to practice and games....and we are 1-5.

As parent myself, I follow my own rules I have the parents in my program. I am very careful of how I "coach" my daughter. BTW...she made her pitching debut this past Saturday.