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Parents - Some of us understand.

CM Coach May1,000+ posts
When I make out a line up card I understand.
I understand that there is a parent hurrying to get off work to come see his son play. I understand that there is a mom who loves her child and wants him to be happy. I understand that she wants to see her son play. I understand that Dad wants to see his son play and contribute for the team. And I understand the hurt and the frustration when you show up and your son is not playing.

When I look in that dugout and read off the line up I understand there is a kid sitting there hurting inside. He wants to be on the field. He knows that his dad is hurrying to get off work to see him play. He wants to make his Dad proud and wants to contribute for his team. And I understand that he wants his mom to see him play as well. He has worked just as hard as the other guys starting and playing. He wants to win just as bad.

When I look in that dugout I see a son , a brother , a nephew , a friend , a young man that wants to play. I see my own son. I feel the same thing that a parent feels. I want all of them to play. I want all of them to be able to contribute.

Some of us understand. My oldest son played 3 innings and got 12 abs his senior year. I understand what you are feeling. I understand what the player is feeling.

I also understand that it is my job to put the players on the field that give our team the best chance to win that day. I understand that that means someone will not play. And I also understand that that also means someone will hurry to the park and wait and worry "I wonder if he will get a chance today." And each time they get up "Oh God please let him get a hit."

I feel these same emotions everytime I look in that dugout. I feel these same emotions every time one of my players gets in the batters box or toes the rubber. Believe me some of us understand.

That is why the players that I love the most and respect the most are the ones that sacrifice just as much as everyone else. The ones that work just as hard as everyone else. The ones that want to win just as bad as everyone else. The ones that dont play or dont play very much. These kids that do all this but have a great attitude and continue to strive to be their very best are very very special and dear to my heart. Its easy to be a team player and have a great attitude when your name is always on the line up card. The ones that do this regardless are very special young men. And they will be very special adults.

Being the best you can be is being great. Their are alot of great baseball players that never get their name in a boxscore.
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TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
Coach May

Great post !!!

I have found that many times the most valuable kid on the roster is the substitute player who is always ready and produces when put in the game. He is ready for his "time".

We had a catcher with us in Florida who was htere simply because our backup catcher g could not make the trip due to his mothers health. The first timer knew what the story was as our first string catcher is a projected draft pick. The first timer had his gear on every game from the beginning to end of the game and was always ready to warm up the next pitcher. He got his chance in our final game and produced.

He will be with us full time this fall season.

I am totally confident he will be a huge producer for us and folks let me tell you cannot be successful without solid contributors off the bench when called on
Last edited by TRhit
P powertoallfields1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Coach May:
When I make out a line up card I understand.
I understand that there is a parent hurrying to get off work to come see his son play. I understand that there is a mom who loves her child and wants him to be happy. I understand that she wants to see her son play. I understand that Dad wants to see his son play and contribute for the team. And I understand the hurt and the frustration when you show up and your son is not playing.

When I look in that dugout and read off the line up I understand there is a kid sitting there hurting inside. He wants to be on the field. He knows that his dad is hurrying to get off work to see him play. He wants to make his Dad proud and wants to contribute for his team. And I understand that he wants his mom to see him play as well. He has worked just as hard as the other guys starting and playing. He wants to win just as bad.

When I look in that dugout I see a son , a brother , a nephew , a friend , a young man that wants to play. I see my own son. I feel the same thing that a parent feels. I want all of them to play. I want all of them to be able to contribute.

Some of us understand. My oldest son played 3 innings and got 12 abs his senior year. I understand what you are feeling. I understand what the player is feeling.

I also understand that it is my job to put the players on the field that give our team the best chance to win that day. I understand that that means someone will not play. And I also understand that that also means someone will hurry to the park and wait and worry "I wonder if he will get a chance today." And each time they get up "Oh God please let him get a hit."

I feel these same emotions everytime I look in that dugout. I feel these same emotions every time one of my players gets in the batters box or toes the rubber. Believe me some of us understand.

That is why the players that I love the most and respect the most are the ones that sacrifice just as much as everyone else. The ones that work just as hard as everyone else. The ones that want to win just as bad as everyone else. The ones that dont play or dont play very much. These kids that do all this but have a great attitude and continue to strive to be their very best are very very special and dear to my heart. Its easy to be a team player and have a great attitude when your name is always on the line up card. The ones that do this regardless are very special young men. And they will be very special adults.

Being the best you can be is being great. Their are alot of great baseball players that never get their name in a boxscore.




Coach,

You are the man! If all Coaches felt that way, the world would be a better place! I think the players sense those things too. Keep up the good work!
itsinthegameitsinthegame5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Coach May:


That is why the players that I love the most and respect the most are the ones that sacrifice just as much as everyone else. The ones that work just as hard as everyone else. The ones that want to win just as bad as everyone else. The ones that dont play or dont play very much. These kids that do all this but have a great attitude and continue to strive to be their very best are very very special and dear to my heart. Its easy to be a team player and have a great attitude when your name is always on the line up card. The ones that do this regardless are very special young men. And they will be very special adults.

Being the best you can be is being great. Their are alot of great baseball players that never get their name in a boxscore.



Only a REAL coach like Coach May truly understands what it means for a player to give 100% all the time - no matter what the circumstances are for that player. They understand what "the love of the game" really means to a kid.

That is what any sport is really all about.

And only great coaches - like Coach May - understand it.
IMO
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
It was a great post and so true. I found myself wondering how the kid who was there every day, never complaining, kept coming back week after week with a smile on their face. What amazes me a little bit more is the fact that kid is still there in college, only the time commitment is now 30-40 hours a week and off-field distractions, academic demands and personal freedom are more plentiful than ever.
Last edited by Dad04
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
I found myself wondering how the kid who was there every day, never complaining, kept coming back week after week with a smile on their face.
As a player I wondered the same thing. When I became an adult and a coach I had a revelation. These kids love the game and want to be a part of it any way possible. The great thing about these kids is everyone loves them and go nuts when they get a hit or make a good play in the field. And it may be their one shining moment.
Last edited by RJM
CM Coach May1,000+ posts
And 20 years from now when everyone on that team has hung up the cleats and moved on. And they meet and talk about the old days. No one will remember who had the best batting average. Who was the best player or played the most innings. They will simply be a former team mate. A former member of a sacred fraternity. One that lasts a lifetime. The only thing that will matter is that they paid the same price to be called a team mate by one another.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
What's amazing to me are the parents of the bench guys that come to every game even when they never know when their son is playing and never say a word because like their sons they know their role and just love being close to the game like their sons.

I have to say some of the nicest players my son played with at college where ones who had very small roles and knew they would always be in that situation. In fact one year they voted in as captain a player that seldom played. My son said he worked SO HARD, never complained. Two players that sat with sour pusses because they didn't play much weren't there the next year. The guys didn't like it, neither did the coaches.
Jack Leggett's son was on the team but because of shoulder surgery that he never recovered from he seldom got in. He was the role model for the team and my son loved him like a brother, he listened to everyone and helped where he could. Sometimes those players are worth their weight in gold in more ways than playing. The last year he played he hit his first career HR and everyone in the stadium was crying, it was a great story.
Last edited by TPM
TMM_DadTMM_Dad1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
What's amazing to me are the parents of the bench guys that come to every game even when they never know when their son is playing and never say a word because like their sons they know their role and just love being close to the game like their sons.

I have to say some of the nicest players my son played with at college where ones who had very small roles and knew they would always be in that situation. In fact one year they voted in as captain a player that seldom played. My son said he worked SO HARD, never complained. Two players that sat with sour pusses because they didn't play much weren't there the next year. The guys didn't like it, neither did the coaches.
Jack Leggett's son was on the team but because of shoulder surgery that he never recovered from he seldom got in. He was the role model for the team and my son loved him like a brother, he listened to everyone and helped where he could. Sometimes those players are worth their weight in gold in more ways than playing. The last year he played he hit his first career HR and everyone in the stadium was crying, it was a great story.



Remember Rudy Ruettiger?



BTW, his son nephew is a pretty good '08 HS baseballplayer, headed for Arizona State next year.

CM, you understand. You are one of the best IMO.
Last edited by TMM_Dad
P PGStaff10,000+ posts
Good post Coach,

I think nearly everyone who has ever coached has "favorites" who spent most of their time on the bench. Often a player’s attitude stands out the most when he is "not" in the lineup. After all, that's also where the coaches spend a lot of time.

We had a 1st baseman who didn't get hardly any playing time his freshman and sophomore year in college. He was my shadow in the dugout and at first it kind of bothered me. I even asked him once, "Chris, why is it every time I turn around, there you are?" He said, “Coach, I want to learn everything I can about the game.” I became an instant fan of this kid!

We started watching him a lot, trying to figure out how we could help him play some kind of role on the team. The ability just wasn’t there! Then it dawned on me that while fielding grounders and throwing to 3B his throws would tail like crazy when he would throw from a sidearm angle.

He had never pitched before in his life, but we started working him with the pitchers. Then we picked the best possible situations to get him in to pitch an inning here and there. He experienced a little success and was loving it. He studied pitching and worked very hard… then as a senior he set the school record for “saves”.

If he wasn’t such a good kid who was willing to do anything for the team… I doubt we would have tried as hard to figure out a way to help him.

This same kid is now a Division I pitching coach! And a real good one!

He owes his success to possessing a great attitude and an unbelievable love for the game.

Do coaches have favorites? Yes, of course they do!!!! At least, I always did!

That is why players should do everything possible to become one of those favorites.

Tip: Brown nosing don’t work and it’s real obvious to coaches when something is real or not.
C coachbwww100+ posts
Great post Coach May!

But I may have to ask a stupid question. As a coach who only involved in LL Travel-ball, I know we can control the roster size, to give everyone plenty of playing time. We've been play with 11 kids for 5 years. Thus we hold our team together very well, 8 of the 11 kids we have now have played together since 9. While a lot of good teams fall apart just because the star player is not happy with the playing time.

Now here is my stupid question, why high school team always hold a 22+ player Varsity roster? (And they usually have a JV at the same size, so something like 30 players compete for a 9 player starting job.) Can we reduce the roster size and only pick the studs who can play? I saw a lot socialism ideas in the HS sports. Some HS pick players who basicly has no baseball skills just to fill the roster. This will sure make a lot of "crazy" parents unhappy.
Last edited by coachbwww
Infield08Infield081,000+ posts
quote:
And 20 years from now when everyone on that team has hung up the cleats and moved on. And they meet and talk about the old days. No one will remember who had the best batting average. Who was the best player or played the most innings. They will simply be a former team mate. A former member of a sacred fraternity. One that lasts a lifetime. The only thing that will matter is that they paid the same price to be called a team mate by one another.


Coach May, awesome comments in both your first post and in the one quoted above!

I think there is great truth to what you say. My son, a senior, most likely will remember the special times he has spent with his teammates long after he forgets the great double play he made or winning run he got in today's game. Just this week, a teammate tried to kiss him after he scored a run and this morning, he somehow managed to get to school by his 8 a.m. team deadline a whopping 7 minutes after waking up! (His alarm clock battery died during the night.) It's memories like this that will last long after the season is over.
YoungGunDadYoungGunDadHSBaseballWeb member since 2005
Last year was our 1st year with our new coach. Coach May knows him well.

During the year-end banquet dinner while giving out awards our coach gave out an award I believe he called "Team Player" award. His speech for this award went longer than any other, i.e. MVP, Pitching award, Hitting, Gold Glove, etc. etc. He said that the person who deserved the Team Player award was the epitome of a person with heart, determination, sacrifice, attitude, hustle...and in His mind and heart was the most special award of all.

It was given to a Senior who only got to pitch 1 inning and had 1 AB. But looking back over the season as a parent this same kid did everything he was asked and had a spirit that soared. He never sat around on the bench during a game and sulked. He loved to keep the ump loaded with game balls, chasing foul balls down the ravine, running the pitcher a jacket out on base, etc.

We did have a lot of seniors last season that were for the most part "grandfathered" in by our new coach so as not to come in and make waves. One of the very first things he did was explain to many of these seniors and some juniors was what a role player was, and the importance of it. How that role player doesn't sit and sulk, but encourages the starter in front of him and pushes him every day, how his attitude was vital for the success of the team, etc. The coach reminded these role players of their role all season long and it was so enjoyable being around for the games to watch a TEAM.

Coach May, I certainly don't envy you coaches. I know it is a bittersweet ordeal making out a lineup each and every day.

God bless.
Last edited by YoungGunDad
SD Stage Dad 9100+ posts
YoungGunDad, sorry but I can't find your story heart warming. Every kid wants to play, what was the point of even having that poor kid on the team? He probably thought if he remained positive and hustled his turn would come. But, one inning pitched and one at bat as a senior? I can't even imagine the pain this poor young man must have felt and will probably feel for years to come.
08Dad08Dad1,000+ posts
Not to pick on the coaches in this thread, whom I completely and totally respect, but I don't think that coaches do all that they can to get the fringe players into games. Take our high school team from last year. Why, up 15 runs in the 7th inning, is the coach bringing in to "close" the senior with a d-1 ride instead of the senior who got 3 innings all year or any of the underclassman who got a total of 20 innings all year?

Btw this kind of choice was made all year... And the coach retired prior to this season..
coach2709coach270910,000+ posts
stage dad did you play baseball or any team sport? If so were you a starter or role player?

Like TR said there are some kids who know their talent level and are happy with crumbs.

There are kids who just want to be a part of something. The 2 or 3 hours they spend at the field let's them escape from a horrible home life.

Don't judge this kid or any kid like him just because you wouldn't be happy. You are basically speaking for him without ever meeting him or knowing his situation.

Trust me a kid will not do the things described if he wasn't happy with his role. They would either quit or sit on the bench and sulk.

08 dad we as coaches don't owe any players any playing time. That is something that is earned and each coach has their own way of determining it. How did the senior who got 3 innings do in those three innings? I don't know - maybe he did poorly.

You said this coach retired prior to this season. Maybe he just loved this senior class and wanted to go out with them. How did he handle this in previous years? Did he play younger players then or stick with the older ones?

I would want to know the man's body of work before I would say he shortchanged anyone.
YoungGunDadYoungGunDadHSBaseballWeb member since 2005
Stage Dad, no problem here. It wasn't meant to be heartwarming, but to show the "other" players on the team who aren't in the line-up every day, and have those parents who may be happy that their son is just on the team cause he loves being there. That was this kid. He had played ball all his life. His bigger brother went to a JUCO then on to a Mid Major D1 and was successful. The other day while working on the field I turned around and lo and behold there was his dad raking on the warning track. Remember, his son graduated last year! This family has just been around baseball for many years and love being around a diamond.

I know it had to kill this kid to not see his name on the line-up each game. I know it had to further kill the coach not being able to start or play him very often. But I will tell you the one thing this kid did for the coach and team - he took the pressure off by not sulking and having a pity party. He was a true gamer and loved being a part of the team as mentioned by the other posters.

What's even more miraculous is that all these players who had a role similar to his was the parents also bought into their son's role. How can one tell this? Easy. There wasn't any bickering (publically) going on amongst the parents each game about their son's playing time, etc. It was quite enjoyable this year for the first time in a long time.
C coachbwww100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Stage Dad 9:
Coach 2709, I played a team sport a long long time ago, and for what it's worth now I started. And I've never coached. But there's no way in the world winning would be important enough to me to break a kids heart like the coach TR mentioned. If a kid showed me that much, I'd have to give a little love in return. PLAYING TIME!!!!


Have you ever heard the title of "Student Manager" in a HS baseball team? This kid wants to be in the HS BBall team and wear the team uniform so bad, he practiced with those players everyday and never played a sigle game.
coach2709coach270910,000+ posts
quote:
But there's no way in the world winning would be important enough to me to break a kids heart like the coach TR mentioned.


Once again you are speaking for him without knowing him. Yes all players want to play but just because they don't doesn't mean they are heartbroken.

That's great you would get him playing time but how much? What is the minimum amount of playing time for a kid like him?

What if every game you play is close and this kid isn't quite good enough to really play in a game like that. Do you really put him in?

Think about this - you put the kid in a game like this. He is in right field because you think that is the best place to hide him. This kid's team is up a run and there are runners on first and second. Ball hit to this kid towards the corner and the ball is tailing away from him. He gets over and the regular RF would make the catch but this kid has it hit in his glove and fall out. Both runners score either on the play or later in the inning.

Now this kid who you are so desperate to get into now is thinking that he lost the game for the team. What if you have a team full of jerks that make fun of him? Did you really help out this kid?

Look it's great to give kids like him playing time and there are all kinds of warm, fuzzy, feel good stories about kids like this having success in their situations but those are the exception. The rule is they are going to fail and the team will lose.

If you have a team oriented kid like this one seems to be he would feel worse over that than barely playing.
SD Stage Dad 9100+ posts
Coach 2709, if the kid is that weak why would you have even given him a uniform? So he could have warm and fuzzy memories of chasing down foul balls? Do you give every kid that tries out for your team a spot? Like I said earlier, as a kid I would rather have been cut than humping my butt off waiting for my big chance that never came. But, that's just me.
Last edited by Stage Dad 9
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