Parents and College Coaches

What do you want to talk to him about?

The former school my son was committed to, was really great about keeping up with not only my son but with my wife and I also. The assistant coach that recruited my son would give me a ring every few months to just say hi and check in with us. Always asked if we needed anything from him or the other coaches. He would make it a point to come and sit with us in the stands when he came to watch my son play. We also had a great relationship with the head coach. Anytime we came to watch a game, or we were at an event that he was also at, he would make time to come over and say hi and ask how we were doing. Before games he would come to the fence and have a short conversation with us. Since he followed not only my son on social media, but us as well, he often asked trips we had posted pics of. Loved the relationship we had with that staff.

Many programs have meet and greet luncheons or dinners to welcome incoming players and their parents.

IMO the most successful programs out there are those that consider everyone part of the programs family.

You should not be afraid to introduce yourself to the coaching staff. They should be available upon move in day.

They are real people too and honestly they don't bite.

For my 2020 outside of visit and offer, never contacted the coach. He reached out to a parent each season to act as "team mom" and he'd provide here with team details asa needed.

Sometimes after home games there would be some small talk, but that's it.

2022's HC is much "social" it seems. Met with parents in the fall during official visit, and probably spent at least 30 minutes with each family.

That said, I don't think I'd ever contact either.

It’s appropriate to talk to a college coach if your son sustains an injury. Or if there is a family emergency/situation that calls for an adult conversation. Beyond that you had better read the room. Most coaches don’t want unnecessary contact with parents. There are occasional exceptions. But generally speaking the environment varies by division. With D3 being the most relaxed and D1 being the least. A D3 coach is more likely to have general conversation with a parent than a D1 coach. JuCo coaches are all over the board. Old school coaches are less likely to talk than younger guys. This is a gross generalization but it’s pretty accurate.

@Francis7 posted:

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The question is - should there be contact between parents and the coach? Is that the norm? I'm thinking that the coach doesn't want to know who I am. But, at the same time, I don't want to insult him by never saying a word to him for 4 years.

What is/was your experience?

My experience was that we introduced ourselves freshman year then quickly faded into the background.  By attending games, the coaches knew who we were.   Contact beyond "hello" was always on their terms because that is what my son wanted.  Once in a blue moon, we'd have an extended in person conversation on a road trip or a home stand.   Those conversations were never about the team or any baseball operations.  The conversations were typically about family and people we knew in common.

At the beginning of every year or prior to the first conference series, the HC would arrange for one of the player families (or alumni) to sponsor a dinner at their house or country club.   Those dinners were the times that I really got to know the people working with my son every day, specifically his pitching coach.   My son worshipped that guy. 

Again, just my experience.  Best of luck to your son in the coming weeks!

W

@PABaseball posted:

What do you want to talk to him about?

Really nothing. No questions, etc. The others have hit him up with questions on housing and schedules and things like that. But, literally, I have nothing to say or ask and we deal with the school for things related to school. More so, I'm guess I am wondering what do we do when it starts? Just stay in the shadows? If he's standing in front of us at some time in the future, should we reintroduce ourselves? I would think yes...but maybe even that's not advisable?

The question the Coach would ask me. "when can you throw BP"?

Bob

@Consultant posted:

The question the Coach would ask me. "when can you throw BP"?

Bob

I get that one all the time as well.

I use "I am contacting your coach to get answers" as a threat to get him get off his ass and get his college punch list items done. I think my wife is hacking into his school email to look for any outstanding items. I really thought we would be past these tactics at this stage of his life.

Back on topic, I have not gone beyond hello with his coaches and have no plans to go further unless they initiate the small talk. I am ready not to talk to the other parents too, just the ones who join me in the outfield fence.

I remember each encounter with the coach …

1) Before committing, the campus visit.

2) I nearly died my son’s redshirt freshman year. The coach walked over and said hello when I finally showed up for a game in May. He complimented my son on how well he handled the situation emotionally.

3) The next year the coach approached me about something my son didn’t tell me. He outscored some of the football backs and wide receivers on the SPARQ testing.

4) We communicated about my son’s injury junior year (played through it), getting a second opinion and opting for surgery after the season.

@Francis7 This is an easy one for me to answer and I learned it right here on this site.  You may not talk to coaches about your son but it is advisable to speak to the coaches about all the shortcomings of the players your son is competing against.  If by chance you burn a bridge with the coach make sure to send your wife in to continue to the discussions.  Easy peasy man.  Hope that helps.  

@IAmThatGuy posted:

@Francis7 This is an easy one for me to answer and I learned it right here on this site.  You may not talk to coaches about your son but it is advisable to speak to the coaches about all the shortcomings of the players your son is competing against.  If by chance you burn a bridge with the coach make sure to send your wife in to continue to the discussions.  Easy peasy man.  Hope that helps.  

Let me introduce you to Coach Casey Smith. You may want to follow him on Twitter. He is right up your alley.

I already do (for real too)!

@2022NYC posted:

I use "I am contacting your coach to get answers" as a threat to get him get off his ass and get his college punch list items done. I think my wife is hacking into his school email to look for any outstanding items. I really thought we would be past these tactics at this stage of his life.

Back on topic, I have not gone beyond hello with his coaches and have no plans to go further unless they initiate the small talk. I am ready not to talk to the other parents too, just the ones who join me in the outfield fence.

We're hacking school emails too. Don't feel bad. It's this generation. They consider reading emails as optional. But the schools still see it the way us older folks do. And we don't want any surprises because someone was too busy with texts and DMs and forgot to read his email.

My son's HC is in the D1 HOF.  We met and spoke with him during the recruitment stage but once after son  started attending college we left it up to son for communication.  It was during freshman season, we were staying at the team hotel for away series.  At breakfast I noticed the HC and 3 assistant coaches sitting a few tables away.  The coaches noticed we were there, and within a few minutes he and an asst coach brought their breakfast over and joined us at our table.  Basically they just wanted to formally introduce themselves and asked if we had any questions or concerns regarding the program and how college life was for son.  Chatted for a long time, mostly nothing about baseball or the team.  That opened the door for a wonderful relationship, so much so that he used to call me every now and then asking for my "professional advice"  on questions he had pertaining to my occupation.  Basically I agree to let son handle all communications directly though.

I never contact or talk to my son’s college coach.  Other than a quick “hello” at freshman orientation

I would only talk to him if there was a medical issue that needed resolution re insurance issues or choosing the right surgeon etc

I do plan on talking to him extensively once my son is done playing, to thank him for giving my son the opportunity to be on the team, and for helping so much with his academic scholarship

My husband met the coach on my son's visit, and I talked to him by phone one time during recruiting.  After that, I met him (with my son) after the first series I attended, said hello, we chatted for about 2 minutes.  Probably he saw us at subsequent games.  I feel I could contact him if necessary; that, to me, is the main thing.

Parents on college parent facebook groups are something else.  They usually ask questions about things that their kids should be taking care of by asking other students.  I did/do not check my son's email account, although I do tell him to check at times when I know important emails might be coming.  He has missed a few.  The main thing is, make sure he gives you access to the bursar account, so you can see what is being charged, because that IS your business.

Our school has a baseball employee who sends all emails about hotels, travel, parents weekends, etc. That is our first line for questions.