Play hard. Have fun. I love you.

+1

Solid.

Best baseball experience I ever had was sitting in a Depression Era stadium with an overhang over the grandstand.  It was in the country and I was all by myself on a 85 degree day with low humidity and slight breeze watching my son in a showcase double header.

Drank a few beers and ate a couple of hot dogs and never said a word to anyone and just watched the games.  He had a good day and looked like he was simply enjoying the game and playing. 

 

I don't know why and I can't explain it but the combination of great weather, great old ball park and my joyous son playing baseball just made my heart full.  I am grateful for that day and will always remember it fondly.

 

In 10yo ball we used to have the kids yell, "play hard, play fair, have fun" before they took the field.

 

We absolutely tell both our HS age boys that we love them on a daily basis.  But not at the field. There I'm more likely to say "square something up!"  If we're traveling to the game together it's "get a good pitch."

My 2018 made his first varsity appearance yesterday. When he texted me to tell me he was dressing down, I sent him the following message.

Know your role, be enthusiastic, listen, lead and pick up your players. You got this. I love you.

I don't ever talk to him at the field other than to cheer, but I always try to send him reminders before the game about his actions, not about baseball. His job is to play the game. My job is to help him grow up and be a good person, with or without baseball.

When my son was in high school, he had a summer coach that every time he was leaving the dugout to pitch a game, he would say "Don't screw it up."

 

Every now and then I will text him that on game day, just to keep things light.

 

Yesterday, I happened to talk to him as he was leaving with his roommates to his game.  i said good luck and I love you.  It made me feel good he said he loved me too without hesitation, in front of his buddies.

I think this is one of the best posts I have ever read on this site. Heck on any site. Thank You

I'm not gonna win any parenting awards, but at least I know enough to sequester myself in a corner when my kid is pitching so that no one hears me say anything mean/stupid about my kid or theirs.

I disagree, lol!  I also think you need to say, "I enjoyed watching you play." after the game.

My 14u boy last time asked me "Daddy, why people make such a big deal on using a stick to hit a ball?".   "Actually it's not a big deal, so just enjoy your games" I replied. 

I always tell my son while travelling to HIS game: "Have fun, do your thing. Because watching you do your thing....is my thing..."

This really made me laugh....but first I looked over my shoulder.

I agree!

Later on, as your son moves on from HS to either college or pro ball, things become much more complicated.  

The pressure can become intense, for them, for you, so its good to try to instill in them (and you) early on, to enjoy what they are doing and remind them often that you love them for who they are not because they play baseball.

 

Sounds like some great parents posting here. Wish I could have read this over 30 years ago.

 

My older son was extremely talented, we would fight after some of the games. I wanted what was best for him, just didn't know any better at the time.

 

Youngest son was not nearly as talented, I was much more at ease and took it easy on him. Even though he wasn't as good, I kind of did enjoy the games a lot more.

 

Older son played one year of minor league baseball, broke his wrist and hung it up.

 

Youngest son was pitching in the Big Leagues at age 22. Then had TJ urgery and 4 years later played nearly the whole year again in the Big Leagues.

 

Sometimes us elderly people just had to learn things too late. If someone really cares, there is a lot to learn on this site. Always much better when you can learn from the mistakes others have made, than having to learn from your own.

My son screwed up and I still made him smile.

 

When my son was a high school soph the high school season ended one game out of the district tournament when my son was picked off first. Jogging slowly back to the dugout with his head down four dads of seniors were verbally abusing him. They completely overlooked his two rbi single that got the team within one run.

 

His coach didn't need to give the steal sign. He could have yelled out "steal second." Everyone in the park knew he was going. After a large number of throws to first the opposing senior pitcher coaxed him out another half step and nailed him. 

 

Knowing there would be field maintenance time after the game I headed for WaWa (like 7/11) and bought a roll of LifeSavers. I waited in the stands until my son came out of the dugout. He felt so badly he wanted everyone gone before he came out. When he finally came out I tossed him the roll of LifeSavers and told him I still loved him. He smiled and said it's going to take two rolls and a trip to Outback for dinner.

 

Then he asked if I remembered the time he made two errors in a LL game. When I asked him if he wanted to practice tomorrow he said, "I don't suck. I just sucked today. Tomorrow is another day." It's when I knew my son "got it" as an athlete.

 

I've never forgotten that moment because some dads acted like jerks and abused him verbally. Yet he shook it off and managed a smile. Tomorrow was another day. The next high school season was unbelievable. It started 14 for 16.

I had to click on this one. This is crazy . That is exactly what I tell my son .

Thanks for this post D8 and others who have commented.

My son has had a rough start this season, feels like the never ending slump.  It has made the drives home a little chippy. Frustration is contagious. Reading this thread was just the thing I needed.

When my son was pitching in a little league playoff game and he was struggling in an inning in a big game for us. I called time out and took the stroll out to the mound. When I got there I know he was expecting to hear, something about his mechanics or what we was doing wrong. I looked him right in the eyes and asked what would he like for dinner that night after the game, burgers or pizza? He looked at me like I had three heads and I said well I guess it is Pizza then and just walked back to the dugout. Ever since then there was something big in his life,,,,,I would just ask him what he wanted for dinner. My way of saying no matter what happens we still love you and life goes on.

I need to remind myself of that saying especially after my son made a throwing error that cost a run and eventually the ball game.

We have always said to our son, Have Fun, Play Hard, Enjoy the Game, Good Luck and We love You.

Love this thread.  I always say "Have fun." to my sons and to their coaches and fellow players if the proximity is right.  I used to say "Good Luck" but then I reread Catcher in the Rye and noticed what Holden Caulfield says about wishing someone "good luck".  He thought it wasn't a good thing to tell someone, and now I kind of agree (not to dis anyone else for saying  "good luck", though).  For me, it's now just "Have fun."  I'm so grateful all three of my boys play, and all enjoy it, and all like talking about it at the dinner table.

 

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

I've always been amazed at what I see parents say to their ball player AFTER a game.  I've seen dads yell at sons and I hate it.  So win or loose, after a game, best to say "I loved watching you play."

A father’s affirmation is so very important to a young ball player.  You can’t watch a youth or high school game without witnessing it.  Kid gets a key hit and after the initial hoopla and celebration he immediately scans the stands for his dad, seeking the smile or the thumbs up.  Once received, his own smile grows even larger and you can almost see his heart swell.  It’s very cool to watch.

 

Maybe this never changes and forever remains a part of the father/son dynamic?  I was watching the Dodgers play the Mariners this week, and Dodger leftfielder Scott Van Slyke, whose father Andy is the hitting coach for Seattle, smacked a double to drive in a run at a critical juncture of the game.  After celebrating with his teammates from across the diamond, the camera remained on him for a few seconds longer and you could see him turn and glance in the direction of the Mariner dugout.  Call me a sap, but I’m pretty sure he was looking for dad.

 

My son is a PO now so the dynamic is a bit different for us.  He’s locked in on the mound and doesn’t see anything other than the batter/catcher while he’s performing, but the first thing he says when we meet after the game is “How did I do?”  Doesn’t matter if he throws a shutout with 10 K’s, he wants my approval.  I only wish it hadn’t taken my idiot self so long to understand the importance.  I was very demanding with my eldest and pushed the younger one too hard for a time, before finally getting it.

I have been watching my son play baseball since he was 4 years old.......he is now 29.....he has played for 25 years.....I've watched him play on ball fields in 10 states.....spent countless hours pitching, raking, driving, buying, sitting, waiting, cheering, consoling, praying, cheering and just flat out enjoying the journey!

 

Currently my son plays in a semi-pro league who plays DH on Sundays.....I do not umpire on Sundays...........Sunday is reserved for watching my son play.....One of the greatest joys of my life is to watch my son on the ball field..... .

 

One day the game will end for both of us........probably sooner for me than him....and I don't want to miss a moment watching him play the game we both love......

 

love this thread......

 

 

This thread is a beautiful thing.

 

When my son rips one into the gap, or is dealing on the mound, I don't always catch his look. He doesn't need my approval, even if he thinks he does. I tell him I love him and am proud of him before and after the game.

 

When he makes a mistake, I always catch his look and mouth "Next time, bud" with a smile on my face.

Awesome story and outcome. 

 

I'm not sure how I would have reacted had I heard some Dad's verbally abuse my son. 

I had a history with these dads. It allowed me to tune them out all season. To start with one of their kids wasn't starting as a senior because of my son (first soph opening day starter in six years). Another one of their kids wasn't playing short because of my son. Another I had multiple confrontations with over fifteen years on our youth sports board and baseball and basketball committees. These guys were using their power to abuse the youth sports program for the benefit of their kids.

 

When my son was eleven he left their Ripken baseball program to play LL. The all star team played into August twice while the CR team stunk. Plus a lot of people followed my lead and left CR for the three LLs that had carved up our town. Then "my son was too good to play Jr. Legion and Legion." "His father thinks he's so special he has him on a travel team." I was told two years into college ball they were still ripping my son and me behind our backs. When people are that petty it's not hard to ignore them.

I let this post go a few day because I loved the tone and direction it was heading.  I have always used this advise when watching my kids compete, and I am so glad I have.  I lost my young son a few weeks ago in a horse riding accident. I have nothing but great memories of him on the baseball field and the time we spent together in the cage, at practice, or in games.  He loved the game and he loved life.  So it does not matter how big your ball player has gotten, hug him extra tight and tell him you love him.

I think D8 has just given everyone a huge DOSE of reality.  So sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing.  It's just a game, and they are still my pride and joy when the games are over.  

Can not fathom your loss.

God bless you and your family and prayers to you all!

D8 , my deepest sympathy for your tragic loss. Your son's life on earth was too short. As you mentioned though the good memories last a lifetime and not be forgotten. Thanks for the poignant reminder of embracing our kids and the moments we share together.

d8 - I am terribly sorry to hear about you losing your son at such an early age.  May his memory and the special times you shared together help get you through this time of sorrow.  You have my deepest sympathy and most sincere condolences.  Stay Strong.

D8, I'm struggling with words... sincere deepest sympathies.. hopeful thoughts and prayers to lessen the pain are being steered to you and your family.

 

I'm glad you are sharing your story.  I think I have learned the hard way thru recent losses that keeping everything inside is not the best way to celebrate the special times you had with your lost loved one, as you have done so well today.

D8, my heart and prayers go out to you and your family.  

d8,

You have been here a long time, so from one old timer to another, I am deeply saddened by the tragic loss that you and your family have suffered. I just cant imagine. 

I am so glad that you let us know.  It really gives you a different perspective on what is really important and that is to enjoy each and every day with your family and not sweat the small stuff!

God bless you and your family.  

I am sorry for your loss, and your story hits my heart.  Sometimes I don't know if I tell Ryno I love him enough.  He's a man now, and sometimes it is hard.  We have a great relationship, but I could definitely work on the I love you's.

d8, I am so sorry for you and your family. I can't imagine the suffering. Prayers for your family now.

D8 -let me add I also am sorry for your loss.  Due to a tragic motocross accident of my son's friend, I do make it a point to tell my son I love him frequently.

 

Motocross accident - my son has a friend who played with him on his travel team and in HS.  His friend's 2nd favorite activity after baseball was motocross racing.  A few years back while racing in an event he took a spill and the next rider came down directly on his helmet.  Though he survived, he suffered serious brain damage and to this day can barely walk and has serious speech/comprehension issues.  He's come along ways, but has a long, long way to go.

 

It tears me up when I do see him as he is a great kid and they are good family.  Life can take strange turns and you simply cannot predict what will happen.

 

 

d8 - my deepest sympathies.  Heartbreaking and I wish there were words that could heal things.  God bless.

d8....This thread is a wonderful tribute to the memory of your son. In the midst of your tragedy, you've given the rest of us a great gift.  Peace be with you.

d8, Thank you for your incredible strength in starting this thread as an expression of your love for your son. I can only guess but my impression is that your heart  is hurting so much, but is one so generous that it coupled with  a caring for everyone with a son and allowed you to reach out to them in such a touching,  kind and caring way.

I can only hope the spirit of your son, your love for him and his for you will move you forward to incredible things, all of which reflect your son and your love.

d8,

 

Much respect for your post, and a greater amount of sympathy for your loss.  I know you are a coach, and am confident based on your post, and profession, you have certainly had a huge impact on the lives of many young men.  I know HS coaches take a beating on this site, and hopefully this will serve an example of how HS coaches not only can be great baseball coaches, but also the impact they have on our young sons.

 

I see you have coached at just about every level in the great state of Texas, and succeeded at each level.  From one TX guy to another....God Bless you and your family!

Thank you for reminding us all just how precious every moment is, D8. I pray that you and your family find peace. 

D8 I am very sorry for your unimaginable loss. Prayers to you and your family.

Sorry to hear about your loss. I never know what to say in these situations. It's hard to grasp.

No words other than to say thank you for posting. God Bless

Dear D8,

 

i am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. I pray that your family will find peace. How gracious of you to create this thread to remind others to cherish each moment we have with our children. 

D8,
  I truly am saddened by your loss.  I am at a loss at what to say, but I do thank you for reminding all of us to cherish our time with our loved ones.

d8, nothing much to add to the above post.  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.  I truly am sorry for your lost.

Thank you for reminding us of that which is most important...love of family. One of the many benefits of this great game is the strengthening of family bonds.

The day of my son's games, I will always say " Just go do your thing." When game is over, I will not mention game to him. I let him bring it up to me.  He has coaches on the field and teammates in teh dugout; I am dad.  If he asks my opinion, I give it. 

What is great is that now he is in college and he calls me after every game to talk about the game.  If game is streamed, I can ask specific questions about what kind of pitch did they get you on when you rolled over or what pitch was that you took yard, etc. I'm not gonna lie, my wife says I am like a little school girl when I see he is calling to talk shop with me after a game.

Sometimes he doesn't want to say much and that is cool too. He will just give basics and I move on.

I wish I had the words to say, but know your family has my prayers. Thanks for the reminder D8.

Coach DP, I am, and was, extremely sorry when we heard about C's accident. We take too much for granted and this hits home. Thanks for sharing.

I was getting ready to share the Roller Coaster ride that my son has had this season.  He's had a few good games and a few bad games, and he's been extremely frustrated.  I had a very positive conversation with him last night, and basically reminded him how much I love him & will always be his Biggest Fan.

D8, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Your post is an important reminder to all of us that baseball is just a game. 

d8, so sorry for your loss, never easy

 

thoughts & prayers... 

So very sorry for your loss. My heart fell when I read and reread your post. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Words cannot express how my heart breaks for your loss.  May you and your family continue to be in our prayers and may your son always be in our hearts. 

Very sorry, d8. I have no words to express how much.

d8 - I lost a brother in an accident at 21 nearly 30 years ago. 

 

If it were not for the good memories the grief would have been insurmountable.  Thankfully you have those.

 

God bless you as you move forward with your life and family.  I believe that living well is the best tribute of all to those that are not here with us.  Do that and remember - it will help.

D8 

I Just saw this second part of  thread. I am so very sorry for your loss. May God give you strength for now and the future. 

Guys, thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. I dont have the words to thank you all enough. Today was the first day back at school for me in three weeks. It was hard, but good at the same time. I had kept in touch with the players, and went to their last couple of games and stayed in the dugout. I let my assistants do most of the coaching. The first game back on the field was also bitter sweet. Like many of you the baseball field has always been my sanctuary. It was always a place where the world just seemed right. I have been fortunate enough to have my passion, my hobby, and my work all rolled into one neat package. My son was always at my games unless he had one of his own to go to or a rodeo. He would warm up the left fielder between games or hit with the guys in the cage or take ground balls in pre-game. That first game back I half expected to see him sprint out of the dugout to return the foul balls that came back in to the umpire. 

The community and team have been great. They had jerseys made up with his name on them. The fans have made up t-shirts with his number on the back, and the out pouring of love has been amazing. One of the neatest things the team did was after the first game after Cole's accident. After every game I would talk to the team either behind first or third base depending on which dugout we were in, and Cole would take off sprinting to beat us all there and would slide into the bag... so after the game all the players took turns sliding into the bag in honor of Cole.

One thing I want to say and I will quit rambling.  On the night of visitation, and day of the funeral, literally thousands of people came by telling stories of Cole, and very few talked about how good of a player or cowboy he was (BTW, there were world champions and hall of famers there) they all talked about what kind of person he was. So please remember this is still just a game ( even in the big business of the MLB, the ump still says PLAY ball), and it is much more important the type of men these kids become that we have in our tutelage than how good of a ball player they become.

Thanks for listening and forgive all the fragments/run-ons... I did this from my phone.

There is not a dry eye in this house after reading that.  Coach, I am linking this thread into our memorial forum.  That way, there will be a permanent memorial to Cole here at the hsbbweb to recognize the wonderful impact he had on people for all time.  Know that there are Angels in heaven caring for him now and you indeed will see him again someday.

d8 - thank you for sharing your story. My son is 12 and this is the first season I have "let him go" to another coach. It's been extremely hard for me sitting behind the fence. But now, because of you, I have found some peace. Now....I say "play hard, have fun, I love you" to my son, and I leave it at that. And you know what? He's playing better and more importantly...he's SMILING. And that is all that matter to me now. So, a big thank you for giving me that. God bless you and your family.

d8- Thanks for sharing. Sorry for your loss. God Bless you and your family as you move forward. Our prayers are with you and your loved ones. He is an Angel looking down upon you. God Bless

Coach I have no words. Other than to say I will have you and your family in my prayers. Thank you for sharing. Thank you Coach.

 

d8- You have made many of us think through "what ifs".  I am sorry for your loss. 

Sitting in my classroom with tears in my eyes.  D8 thanks for sharing and may your family be blessed a million times over!

I am real sorry to hear this.  Live every day as if it is a gift. 

My son was hurting Saturday. They made a great run in the conference tourney. They knocked out the #1 and #2 seeds after dropping their first game after leading 5-0. They ended up losing that game 7-6. Then with a chance to play for the championship they lost a heart breaker 5-4. He was hurting for his guys. I have never in all the years he played ever seen him so down. I think he just felt for the first time what a coach feels when you look in the eyes of your Seniors and know they have played their last game. I hurt for him.

 

On the drive home my wife got a text from a good friend of ours. She is the sister of one of my former players. Her 19 year old brother the brother of my former player has cancer. He also has spots of cancer on his lungs. My wife works at Duke Medical Center and treats cancer patients and she wanted some advice on who to make sure they saw. As soon as she told me I thought of d8.

 

Later that night I texted my son and told him about the young man. He was silent on the phone. He is very close with the young man. I didn't have to say a word. He finally said "I guess this puts things into perspective don't it Dad?" All I could say was "Yes it does son. I love you."

 

Baseball is not life. It's a game. Its a way to learn life lesson's. Life is precious. We all need a little perspective now and then. Coach brought that to us. I need that lesson from time to time. We all do.

d8, it's extremely generous of you to share your story and help other parents gain some perspective. Sincere condolences for your terrible loss. I hope that eventually the wonderful memories you have of your son will give you some comfort.

d8, please continue to tell stories about Cole. I know I would love to hear more about him.

 

Thank you for sharing. God bless you and your family with comfort and grace.

 

 

 

 

Thought I would throw in a pic and the first link is to my wife's FB page with a story about Cole. It is just one of the thousands of stories shared with us the last few weeks. We are not sure where my son got the bracelet in the story, but we ordered 900 and have just about given them all away. We are about to order more. I am still amazed at the lives he touched.  The second link is to my page. It was my first post a couple of days after the accident. Hope everyone is having an awesome week. Thanks again to all on here.

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo...p;type=1&theater

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo...p;type=1&theater

D8,

 

It really hurts to read your story. I'm sure that Cole was a very special young boy because his dad is very special man. As painful as it is to read this story, it is such an important lesson to all of us.  Thank you so much, for sharing.

d8, I just saw this I am so sorry and at a loss for words,  and you and your family will be in our prayers. God Bless. 

someone agrees here!

 

"The Only Six Words Parents Need to Say to Their Kids About Sports"

 

https://fulleryouthinstitute.o...out-sportsor-any-per

 

D8,

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  Your family is in my prayers.