If you play long enough , if your kid plays long enough , you will encounter situations where you feel you or your kid is getting the short end of the stick. Hey , thats life. Now how are you going to deal with it? That is what is important.
You focus on why you are really there. Your kid to play baseball , be a great team mate and you to support him and the entire team and enjoy the experience. When your focus shifts to the BS it all becomes BS. All of it.
There will come a day when you have zero control of the BS. And there will come a day when its not going exactly as you would like it to go. So what? Its baseball. Sit back and let your son battle , claw , fight , learn , adapt , adjust , overcome. Listen , encourage , give advice when needed and shut up and listen when they want to talk and just let them know you will be there if they need you. And then let them do what men have to do. Or you can become part of the problem.
The lessons we learn when faced with adversity are far more valuable than lessons not learned by avoiding it because of fear of failure. Its not such a bad thing to have to learn how to deal with this stuff at these ages. Because sooner or later they will have to in life as well. Baseball teaches alot more than how to play a game. It also can teach lessons that help you in life. If you let it.
Coach
My definition of talent/baseball ability includes attitude--
My definition of talent/baseball ability includes attitude--
Let's not pin all the baseball politics on HS ball. There's plenty of it in summer ball too. Plenty of parents use private lessons with the coach as a means to essentially "launder" bribes at the coach for playing time.
Frankly Dog. I would be more concerned about the damage throwing a slider can cause at 14,then team politics. The coach will do what he's going to do.... Period. He's not going to change, do you really want to be known as the family that got the coach fired?
CD's advice is solid. Run with it.
CD's advice is solid. Run with it.
2 great quotes:
"Parents want the starting lineup to be their kid and the 8 best players on the team"
"I've never seen a kid who was as good as his Parents thought he was, or as bad as the other Parents thought he was"
"Parents want the starting lineup to be their kid and the 8 best players on the team"
"I've never seen a kid who was as good as his Parents thought he was, or as bad as the other Parents thought he was"
My son is a freshman in HS. The politics talk started at the first preseason meeting of the year. School had been in session for 3 weeks.
We blew it off thanks to some excellent advice I had read on here over the years. I did notice that it was the parents of kids who hadn't been promoted past their grade level the last couple of years. One parent even said that we didn't have to worry about politics because we were good friends with one of the starters on varsity's parents and we had an "In" with the political crowd.
It was pretty amusing but it annoyed my wife quite a bit.
Thanks again for all of the great advice on this site. It is a life saver and has reduced my stress level by a large amount. Keep up the good work guys and gals.
We blew it off thanks to some excellent advice I had read on here over the years. I did notice that it was the parents of kids who hadn't been promoted past their grade level the last couple of years. One parent even said that we didn't have to worry about politics because we were good friends with one of the starters on varsity's parents and we had an "In" with the political crowd.
It was pretty amusing but it annoyed my wife quite a bit.
Thanks again for all of the great advice on this site. It is a life saver and has reduced my stress level by a large amount. Keep up the good work guys and gals.
Wardog- print this advice and keep it handy. Read it once and read it many times if you think things aren't
going your son's way.
You have gotten great advice from the best posters in the world. Follow their advice and keep your comments to your son positive and things will work out.
Welcome it looks like you found the right site just in time. Relax and try to enjoy the ride- it goes waaaay too fast.
going your son's way.
You have gotten great advice from the best posters in the world. Follow their advice and keep your comments to your son positive and things will work out.
Welcome it looks like you found the right site just in time. Relax and try to enjoy the ride- it goes waaaay too fast.
Sometimes, the 'politics' we see from the bleachers is not what the team sees in the dugout. Ask you kid what's going on. They usually know.
war dog, I wish I could get back all that time and energy that I wasted worrying about politics, worrying about what the other parents were thinking, and even being mad at some of them when I learned that they thought he got his playing time due to "politics."
Now I know that none of that stuff matters! What matters is what he did, and continues to do, on the field. Not what happens in the stands.
Follow the advice you're getting! It will be hard sometimes, but do all you can to avoid the negativity. It's bad for your health!
There is one more thing your son can control. His grades. You'll hear it over and over again, and it is the truth. Good grades really do open doors.
Now I know that none of that stuff matters! What matters is what he did, and continues to do, on the field. Not what happens in the stands.
Follow the advice you're getting! It will be hard sometimes, but do all you can to avoid the negativity. It's bad for your health!
There is one more thing your son can control. His grades. You'll hear it over and over again, and it is the truth. Good grades really do open doors.
Politics do exist. Unlike some people the one's who told me about the politics were a couple guys whose kids ended up playing D1 and a couple whose kids ended up playing pro ball. At times it was pretty blatant. At times things seemed pretty fair. Even so all you can do is try to be so good that the politics don't matter. Not every player has that luxury.
You'll be a lot happier if you convince yourself that there aren't any politics regardless and as some others have told you don't get your son worried about politics.
You'll be a lot happier if you convince yourself that there aren't any politics regardless and as some others have told you don't get your son worried about politics.
Wow, so many posts with the same message I'd give you. Stay positive with your son, expectations effect outcomes. Focus every bit of energy on what he can control, he'll start influancing the others things outside his control. Understand his job is to make the greatest contribution to the program's success he can. No program can ever get enough of a kid like that.
Last season most of the dozen or so kids from a club team I'd coached for a long time played together in HS. There was a lot of concern about PT and who was playing were, what games kids would pitch etc.. We came up with a short saying to deal with all of that; "shut up and hit". Most of the time it's really that simple, don't let yourself get caught up in things you can't control, work hard and rake.
Last season most of the dozen or so kids from a club team I'd coached for a long time played together in HS. There was a lot of concern about PT and who was playing were, what games kids would pitch etc.. We came up with a short saying to deal with all of that; "shut up and hit". Most of the time it's really that simple, don't let yourself get caught up in things you can't control, work hard and rake.
quote:"shut up and hit"
I like that!
I would like to thank all for the responses.
I do follow a lot of the advise given sublinamally. I would like to say that it's not a worry as much of a concern with the politics since this is his first year of high school and baseball hasn't started yet.
I have to say for jr. is basically oblivious to the politics, he just sees what has gone around him in the past and the positive thing I've seen is it has given him the desire to work harder and push himself to get better.
As for me I probably sound like a broken record telling him "to do what you", "be positive" and "keep smilling"; he does and has fun doing it. He always has a great attitude eliminating the stress or stressors for the people around him...
For me when I do get a chance to watch my son play I watch from a far enjoying the competition of all and at the end of the game I walk up to all say to them good game or good job and when I get to jr. I will slap him five tell him that I'm proud of you. No matter the out come is...
PS. I'm Relaxed.
I do follow a lot of the advise given sublinamally. I would like to say that it's not a worry as much of a concern with the politics since this is his first year of high school and baseball hasn't started yet.
I have to say for jr. is basically oblivious to the politics, he just sees what has gone around him in the past and the positive thing I've seen is it has given him the desire to work harder and push himself to get better.
As for me I probably sound like a broken record telling him "to do what you", "be positive" and "keep smilling"; he does and has fun doing it. He always has a great attitude eliminating the stress or stressors for the people around him...
For me when I do get a chance to watch my son play I watch from a far enjoying the competition of all and at the end of the game I walk up to all say to them good game or good job and when I get to jr. I will slap him five tell him that I'm proud of you. No matter the out come is...
PS. I'm Relaxed.
War dog, one thing I know for sure: Regardless of politics, if your son exudes confidence — I don't mean cockiness but just confidence in his ability — the coach will play him. TRhit is right in his definition of talent. Attitude is a big part of it. If the coach sees him intimidating batters with confidence and ability, I don't care how bad a coach is or what his good-ole-boy mentality is, your kid will play. I guarantee it.
This is all great advice except that sometimes a kid needs experience to get better and exude confidence. In our case, the HS coach was dealing with heavy donaters to the Booster's Club with a pitcher son. That coupled with the fact our son was an unknown to him, caused him to not put him in until the end of the season. It was one of those far reaches into the bullpen when the coach had exhausted all his pitchers. That kind of pressure without the experience didn't make for a good presence on the mound and made the HS coach reluctant to put him in the next season. I've seen this with batters too, the coach doesn't put a kid in until the 6th or 7th game and then by then the kid feels so much pressure to do well that they fold. While son still played on the HS team(mostly sat on the bench), we found him a coach on a travel team that did believe in him. Amazing what can happen when someone gives you a chance. He became their starting pitcher and brought the team to their first ever tournament championship. When the HS coach finally put him on the mound, son blew him away. Now he is their go-to closer and is being looked at by several colleges.
Politics were definitely in play on the team as it is in many places. But we just stayed away from the gossip/negative parents, and got him the experience he needed to get better. If your son isn't able to grow on the high school team and becomes a victim of the politics, DO NOT WAIT! Get him onto a reputable travel team and when he's a junior, a showcase team.
Politics were definitely in play on the team as it is in many places. But we just stayed away from the gossip/negative parents, and got him the experience he needed to get better. If your son isn't able to grow on the high school team and becomes a victim of the politics, DO NOT WAIT! Get him onto a reputable travel team and when he's a junior, a showcase team.
We always here politics. I was the head coach at a high school for 25 years. I played the best kids. I did not know who their father was where they came from who they played for etc etc Despite what people say about politics there comes a time when all the "politics" ends. In my case it ended when they got to me. You either can play or you can not. I wanted to put the best team on the field. Maybe this is being old fashioned but what coach would bench a kid and play somebody else of less talent because his father or uncle or whatever is whatever? it is about TALENT. Coaches who get the squeeze because of politics be a coach and tell them to go to (*&&^%.
I agree, playing the best kids are what most coaches do, but I have to admit I have on occasion seen something else.
What I usually see is a coach (including myself) play a kid who they believed could not perform because they felt bad they didn't play enough or had been pressured by the parents or perceived pressure. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it does not.
I have learned as much as possible to ignore the politics when it is aimed at me (coach) because it will cause you to make missteps in judgment, which I have certainly done. When you play a kid because his parents have pressured you too you end up ticking off someone else. You find yourself in a lose-lose situation.
Let me give you an example...When my sons, Sam and Gabe were little I began coaching their little league team. Sam had a good arm, one of the fastest on the team, usually one of the top hitters and one of the best players in the league. My other son, Gabe was a big, slow and uncoordinated player was not very good, always one of the last to be drafted, but he wanted to play and to be with dad. No problem, I wanted him on the team and enjoyed it immensely.
About midway through the season a parent sent me a very long email detailing why I played favorites with Sam only because he was my son. She said I played him in all the good positions like SS/pitcher and ignored her more talented son. She said her son had low self-esteem and needed to pitch to show what he was capable of doing. The fact is her son had a difficult time hitting the broad side of a barn and he did lack confidence. I just didn’t have the practice time to work with him to throw strikes.
Anyway, I said I would pitch him if the situation dictated, but I explained to her as delicately as I possibly could that I was not going to pitch him in a tight situation or when the game is on the line because if he failed miserably how was he going to feel then? What was that going to do for his self-esteem?
In addition, when I pointed out that I had another son on the team she was surprised and said she didn't know that in spite of the fact I had given her a roster with all the players names. Unfortunately, Gabe played the minimum and was happy with that, but not his mom because she let me have it too! And that was worse than any email...it was in person!
As a coach you will always find yourself in this position with some parents whether it is little league or high school, it is something you have to learn to handle. It goes with the territory.
As a coach I want my weakest players to get better. So it is in my interest as well as the individual players that they work to get better on their own and with the team. You never know when you need that extra bat or arm to pitch. As I have heard it said, 'You are only as good as your weakest player.'
What I usually see is a coach (including myself) play a kid who they believed could not perform because they felt bad they didn't play enough or had been pressured by the parents or perceived pressure. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it does not.
I have learned as much as possible to ignore the politics when it is aimed at me (coach) because it will cause you to make missteps in judgment, which I have certainly done. When you play a kid because his parents have pressured you too you end up ticking off someone else. You find yourself in a lose-lose situation.
Let me give you an example...When my sons, Sam and Gabe were little I began coaching their little league team. Sam had a good arm, one of the fastest on the team, usually one of the top hitters and one of the best players in the league. My other son, Gabe was a big, slow and uncoordinated player was not very good, always one of the last to be drafted, but he wanted to play and to be with dad. No problem, I wanted him on the team and enjoyed it immensely.
About midway through the season a parent sent me a very long email detailing why I played favorites with Sam only because he was my son. She said I played him in all the good positions like SS/pitcher and ignored her more talented son. She said her son had low self-esteem and needed to pitch to show what he was capable of doing. The fact is her son had a difficult time hitting the broad side of a barn and he did lack confidence. I just didn’t have the practice time to work with him to throw strikes.
Anyway, I said I would pitch him if the situation dictated, but I explained to her as delicately as I possibly could that I was not going to pitch him in a tight situation or when the game is on the line because if he failed miserably how was he going to feel then? What was that going to do for his self-esteem?
In addition, when I pointed out that I had another son on the team she was surprised and said she didn't know that in spite of the fact I had given her a roster with all the players names. Unfortunately, Gabe played the minimum and was happy with that, but not his mom because she let me have it too! And that was worse than any email...it was in person!
As a coach you will always find yourself in this position with some parents whether it is little league or high school, it is something you have to learn to handle. It goes with the territory.
As a coach I want my weakest players to get better. So it is in my interest as well as the individual players that they work to get better on their own and with the team. You never know when you need that extra bat or arm to pitch. As I have heard it said, 'You are only as good as your weakest player.'
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Oh thank goodness...I first read that and I thought you wanted them to get batter!
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- "As a coach I want my weakest players to get better."
Oh thank goodness...I first read that and I thought you wanted them to get batter!
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I'm telling ya GW, you gotta get yourself a can of the stuff and sit back and let all happen...
A friend was president of our LL. When his son didn't make all-stars he spent a couple of weeks sleeping on the couch.quote:Unfortunately, Gabe played the minimum and was happy with that, but not his mom because she let me have it too! And that was worse than any email...it was in person!