Promote son to high school coach???

My advice:

Erase this thought from your mind.

Welcome to HSBBW!

To answer your question, Yes it is bad and yes it will hurt him and No you should not!

Let him prove it on the field! Work harder and want it more than the next guy, run everywhere!

Chances are that any involvement you attempt to have on your son's behalf will prove detrimental to your son's chances of making the team. He will be perceived as unable to prove himself by himself and you will be chalked up as a meddling parent.

His skill talent and desire are going to need to speak for himself at this stage in your guy's baseball journey.

Best of luck to you both!

And yes Welcome to the HSBBW Family!

quote:

but how can he ensure the coach notices him?

grinder - I predict this is going to be a BIG topic

I think what you are asking is how can you ensure things and my answer is YOU cannot and neither can he. This is what people mean when they talk of politics. I believe you encourage your son behind the scenes and let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes not being named a starter initially is a blessing. You cannot control what the coach decides to do. Let that burden go. Have fun with the game and control those things he can like attitude, leadership, hustle, and most importantly being a good teammate - whether or not he is treated in kind.

I never encouraged my son to speak with the coach either and I know many disagree with me on this point. I always felt the coach's true opinion appeared in the lineup card.

Exactly what I thought! Thanks so much for the replies.. I will just keep doing what I have been doing, keep working with him to get him ready for tryouts and hope he does well!

Thanks and Happy New Year!

Turn and walk RUN away. If your kid can play, the coach will find out sooner or later, either at his school or the next one.

It's much better to have them make a mistake and overlook his ability then it is to have the coach spend the next four years trying to prove you don't know what you're talking about.

JMO.

quote:

Is it OK to promote your son to the high school coach?

Work on things in your control, lessons, practice, etc. You have gotten excellent advice from experienced folk. Trying out for a high school team is one of the first times a child gets to dip his toe in the waters of independence. He is attempting to spead his wings, so to speak, and try them out.

The satisfaction he and you will feel by him earning a roster spot on his own, will only be out done by the pain you and he will feel if he loses a spot after lobbying on his behalf. Daddyball is over. Let it go and deal with the results after the fact. Good Luck.

Promoting your son to the high school coach might be the single worst thing you can do. The best thing you can do with the coach, at least until your son is part of his team, is to limit you dialgoe to "Hi, Coach!"

I agree with all the other comments unless......

The family is new to town and the kid has no friends within the program. If the program is big you can easily get lost in the crowd of favorites and politics.

If this is the case, Father and son should introduce themselves to the coach. An easy conversation may be....

"Hi Coach my name is Joe Blow and this is my son John. We're new to town and I wanted to make an introduction before the season started. Thank-you for your time"

A good coach will dig a little deeper, maybe ask some questions, or at least keep his eyes open when practices start. sukking-up is one thing, starting on an even playing ground is something else.

If your son has a summer team jersey with his name on it, I would suggest he wear it to tryouts too. It helps the coaches evaluating players identify and get name recognition. And, if it's part of a club known for player development, that will catch the coaches eyes as well. Every little bit of attention grabbing is good...but then he has to show his stuff!

My son is also a freshman this year and I was struggling with the same question for a while. Something happened one night and I decided that it was best not to approach the coach to promote my son.

I had been, till last season one of the coaches for my sons travel team. It has the same name and logo as the HS team. Someone in the restaurant where my wife and I were eating came up and asked if I was a Knights coach. I said I was since that was the name of our team. This Dad proceded to tell me about how good his son was and that he would be trying out for the team in the spring. Well, turned out I know his son. He is a mediocre rec ball player.

I thought to myself at that time that if I were to approach the coach and this dad approached the coach, he would get basically the same speil, but in reality two completely different levels of players. I also thought about how many times in the past he must of heard stories about these great up and coming freshman only to be disappointed. There is really no way for him to know the difference between someone who really is good and someone who just thinks his son is good.

Some time after that the coaches had a preseason meetimg with all current and prospective players and parents. He mentioned something about letting him know if your son was a pitcher or catcher so they could be prepared and do some specialized work with them. When I approached him, he told me he already knew about my son, so don't worry about it. Apparently, he had made some phone calls and gotten feedback about him. I had no idea this had gone on and was surprised.

I think if you are a player, coaches will know about you and certainly, your performance on the field will set you apart during tryouts.

We'll see how his tryouts go early February. Can't wait till season starts again.

Grinder, welcome to the hsbbwb. You are way ahead of the game to be reading here and to even be asking this question. It shows your intelligence and willingness to learn.

I think you'll be a great baseball parent, especially reading this site. You'll find every thing you ever wanted to know about hs bb here (and much more).

Good luck and have fun.

It never works out in a good way for the player when the parent steps in and trys to promote the kid to the coaches. If your son can play he will be just fine. For parents that have always taken an active role with their sons baseball it can be a tough transistion to hs baseball. They feel the need to do something to help them out. You have already done all of that. You worked with him and you taught him the game and you prepared him to compete. Now sit back and relax and let him do his thing. He will gain a tremendous amount of pride in knowing that he earned it all by himself. And in time you will realize you did your job when you see that smile on his face after he makes the team.

The only thing that matters is what they do once they get out in front of those coaches. What they did prior to getting there will be meaningless to the coaches. Believe me there will be parents that try and promote their kids to the coaches. And you will be glad you were not one of them. Good luck

Grinder, if your son is a player the coach probably already knows your son and his talent level. I notice you have been a youth coach for 10 years. If you have been coaching your son in the past, difficult times may be ahead. You are now relegated to being a parent, a fan, a follower, a concession stand worker --- by the way, here's a list of concession workers for the next ten games. Since you're new, "Chatty Cathy" can show you how to operate the cheese dip machine for the Nachos. Wait with a name like "grinder" maybe you can be the "expert" snow cone machine operator ----- Enjoy the ride.
Fungo

RZ1

quote:

I agree with all the other comments unless......

The family is new to town and the kid has no friends within the program. If the program is big you can easily get lost in the crowd of favorites and politics.

Thats exactly what happened to son freshman year. The new kid.
Did not know the HS had a fallball team.
The wife was driving by the field and saw them playing after picking up my son.
She not me, Walked right up to the coach and introduced herself.
And asked the coach if son could practice with the team.
Coach said well this is HS fall practice, and the players are pretty good.
Wife said, Son can play.
Coach said practice starts at 3pm.
Wife said he'll be there.
and Thats all she ever said to the coach in 4 years except Hello.

EH

What's the old saying?

"A Parent is happy if the starting lineup is the 8 best players and their kid"

Thanks for all the input. What I was actually thinking is like some video of him working out. He has been hitting twice a week since November, bumping up to 3 times a week now. He started infield workouts last week. My thought was to video some of these workouts and promote that way. He works out at a local facility with older kids, hs juniors and seniors. Over the break there were some div I baseball players helping the younger guys out with infield.

However, you gents are all correct. My son is a good player, he will do just fine. I will not conact the coach in any way, I am glad I joined this site. Looking forward to becoming part of the community.

Fungo - I can operate a snow cone machine! Glad to do it

Grinder....

In my experience coaching high schoolers all I can say is Im glad you came to the forum and asked first. I could have used more parents like that. Coaches are coaches because they do notice who can play, who cant, and what those players should do to improve. Doesnt mean the coach wont ever make a mistake, but if your son can play it will usually work out in the end. Especially if he is a freshman. Do they have a freshman or JV program at that HS?

gitnby, i hadnt heard that quote but its great.

Mike it is a big program... they will have 2 freshman teams an "A" and a "B" team, rostering about 15 each. Then a sophomore and a varsity team. Last year there were 90 players trying out for freshman baseball.

Wow Grinder, that is a HUGE program!

I can only second what most on here have already advised you and it appears you are taking it to heart. Kudo's for you AND your son for allowing him to go out and do his own thing.

The one thing that you said in your 1st post that raised my eyebrows about your son was how he is already preparing for the tryouts. That is absolutely incredible and he should be commended for his dedication. I remember when my son was that age it was like pulling a tooth from an angry bear to get him working out on an occasional basis.

Coach May has made a previous post about getting prepared for upcoming tryouts albeit high school but I believe it is useful for any high school age. Bottom line is he states that these kind of kids who are preparing way before tryouts will have a HUGE advantageous over the ones who just show up on day 1. Those kids who have been throwing for a while before tryouts will have another leg up - no sore arm on the 2nd day of tryouts!

From Coach May:

Believe me there will be parents that try and promote their kids to the coaches. And you will be glad you were not one of them. Good luck

I can't begin to tell you how much truth is in that statement!

One thing I always noticed in tryouts was the kids who came out and booted a ball, made an errant throw, swung at a bad pitch, etc. that kept their head up and a good attitude! Something about that kind of player thrills me to watch!

One other tidbit of advise I would like to give is for you to stay away from the field during tryouts. (yes, it CAN be done..lol). Your son will be nervous enough and having Dad around will mulitply it 7-fold. I promise. My son asked me before his tryouts Junior year to not show up! So I sat at home pouting but proud he was brave enough to ask me.

Good luck to your son....and you.

That is a huge program!

Sounds like a great opportunity for an entrepreneur to come in and have a pre-high school showcase for that area. Don't know how many schools you have but in the area but he/she could invite the area high school coaches and have a 1 day showcase. You could have participants wear different colored shirts depending on what school they are zoned for. Prospective players (and parents) fearing they would be passed over if they didn't show would flock to the event. Players would has a greater opportunity to be seen by their prospective high school coaches and while it wouldn't increase roster spots it would give them the needed exposure.
Fungo

quote:

It never works out in a good way for the player when the parent steps in and trys to promote the kid to the coaches. If your son can play he will be just fine

Hang down the RF line 300 feet away and you will be just fine.

quote:

Originally posted by OLDSLUGGER8:

Hang down the RF line 300 feet away and you will be just fine.

OS, I'd like to hear what others might say about this also. I know that I was there for my son's JV (9th & 10th) tryouts and didn't even realize at the time what I was doing, i.e. my facial expressions, body language, arms crossed, turning around to walk away, etc. All those things we do when we notice a mistake and hate it for our sons and just simply feel bad for them. How do they take it? They think we are po'd at them, disappointed, angry, upset, etc. when we're not. I know this only because my son told me. I was floored when he told me but from his perspective I could see how he would think that.

If you are even in the vicinity of the tryouts, he will consciously, subconsciously, and unconsciously be looking to see if you are watching instead of being himself, focusing on the task at hand, and listening to the coaches. IMO.

quote:

Originally posted by grinder:
Mike it is a big program... they will have 2 freshman teams an "A" and a "B" team, rostering about 15 each. Then a sophomore and a varsity team. Last year there were 90 players trying out for freshman baseball.

Wow. Yeah that is huge. Im not sure if Ive ever seen anything like 90 kids trying out for FRESHMAN baseball. Best of luck to you and your son. I think all the advice on here remains...but that is certainly a unique situation.

If you have confidence in ability, let em learn by their own play. As much as I feel, even now that a quick comment or piece of advice could salvage an at bat, I force myself to let it happen.

Post game discussions do occur to emphasize the positives and give encouragement.

Believe it or not, they usually know the adjustment required, but........

Do you see MLB players boot a grounder, swing at junk in the dirt, miss a cutoff, make ERRORS?

That answer is YES. Baseball is unique as the best players in the world sometimes make the same mistakes as 8 year old players.

Manny is a great hitter......................who strikes out over 100 times per season usually?

quote:

Originally posted by MikeLib19:

quote:

Originally posted by grinder:
Mike it is a big program... they will have 2 freshman teams an "A" and a "B" team, rostering about 15 each. Then a sophomore and a varsity team. Last year there were 90 players trying out for freshman baseball.

Wow. Yeah that is huge. Im not sure if Ive ever seen anything like 90 kids trying out for FRESHMAN baseball. Best of luck to you and your son. I think all the advice on here remains...but that is certainly a unique situation.

We have had as many as 150 for one freshman team...

No matter what you tell the coach or send to the coach to look at - would it be right for him to make any judgements about his ability to make the team over another player without actually seeing him perform at a higher level than that other player?

Would it be fair to the player who did not have an advocate working on his behalf to come in to the tryouts "behind" another player because that player had a promoter?

What kind of coach would formulate his opinion on a player based on promotion by a parent?

The bottom line is every player will have a chance to show what they can do. It is the coaches job to evaluate the players based on what he and his staff actually see at the tryouts. Anything else is pure politics and should never enter into the equation.

Regardless of how many kids are tryout out the best players will always show as the best. Speed is speed , arm strength is arm strength , the ability to field and catch is the ability to field and catch. And if the coach has a clue he can tell who has the ability to swing the bat.

At some point and time you have to remove yourself from the process and trust that your son has the stuff to handle his business.

One more thing. If the other parents and players get wind of you promoting your kid , sending video to the coaches , you and your son are in for a long hard road. You can bank on that one.

quote:

Originally posted by OLDSLUGGER8:

If you have confidence in ability, let em learn by their own play. As much as I feel, even now that a quick comment or piece of advice could salvage an at bat, I force myself to let it happen.

Post game discussions do occur to emphasize the positives and give encouragement.

Believe it or not, they usually know the adjustment required, but........

Do you see MLB players boot a grounder, swing at junk in the dirt, miss a cutoff, make ERRORS?

That answer is YES. Baseball is unique as the best players in the world sometimes make the same mistakes as 8 year old players.

Manny is a great hitter......................who strikes out over 100 times per season usually?

I don't disagree with any of this OS.

But we are talking about the difference in a 14yr old high school freshman, not a 20-something year old MLB player who knows how to lock out distractions.

But your point is well taken. Post-practice advise is good. I tend to think if a kid is legit then the Coaches will see it in him even if he does commit an error, etc. IMO

Coach May - Thanks a million! No worries I have been convinced... the right thing to do is keep getting him to his workouts (he can't drive there), helping him where I can but I am absolutely not going to do anything to promote my son. He will be ready for tryouts because he is working at it - he will be the best he can be come tryouts and whatever happens, happens. My involvement once those tryouts start will be to ask him how they went. I will not be there.

Thanks a TON for all this great advice!

quote:

Originally posted by Coach May:
One more thing. If the other parents and players get wind of you promoting your kid , sending video to the coaches , you and your son are in for a long hard road. You can bank on that one.

How about parents promoting their player in the stands to other parents.

We had a very talented team and a player showed up from no where (turned out we had beaten him in a previous tournament), then his dad was always in the stand saying how great his kid was.

quote:

but I am absolutely not going to do anything to promote my son

until its time for college recruiting!!

I would never attend a tryout. IMO if a coach saw a parent at a tryout or a practice it would be perceived the same as promoting your child IMO.

If I ever saw my father at a tryout of mine I would have been embarrassed and p*****ssed off.

I remember the day I registered son for HS, they asked a question regarding intermural sports, son put down baseball.
After reading over everything the lady pointed out that the baseball coach was in the gym and to go meet him, which we did, he was polite and cordial but I doubt that is why son made the team. I also thought that my son was pretty good going into HS. Remember we are looking through our parental rose colored glasses.
As far as tryouts why would a parent want to go? This is about your son's time, when the arrive in HS, it's time to let go a little, especially those that have been coaching their son for years. JMO. Doesn't matter if there are 50,90, 150 at tryouts, he needs to get in on his own merit.

Coaches out there, do the parents often attend tryouts? How do you feel about this. I am one of those parents who have been involved heavily in my son's baseball path and I know it is going to be a hard adjustment to begin the backing off process. Anyway, I have heard your comments on approaching the coach, but what about watching tryouts? Recommended or not from a coaches perspective?

I think you should also consider what is the norm at your school. I know around here, a lot of times parents just hung back well away, sipping their coffee, chit chatting, etc. Other times, there was not a soul in sight. When you arrive to drop of your son, and a whole crowd is hanging out, why not? Our coaches never talked to anyone except the players. If you drop off and no one is there, (hint, hint, don't stay

I have found over the years, and has been touched on, the kids know who the players are. If they have not been contaminated by parental influence, the kids could pick the team every time, and believe me they are brutal. They would pick the best players for the team.

quote:

Coaches out there, do the parents often attend tryouts? How do you feel about this. I am one of those parents who have been involved heavily in my son's baseball path and I know it is going to be a hard adjustment to begin the backing off process. Anyway, I have heard your comments on approaching the coach, but what about watching tryouts? Recommended or not from a coaches perspective?

BBall----I understand your desire to stay involved in your son's baseball...i also was involved in my son's baseball...up till he started playing High school ball....Trust me do not go any where near those tryouts....ask your self who will you be helping by watching the tryout? I can guarantee it will not help you son one bit....Trust me stay away...start to enjoy just sitting back and watching your son play...it is a lot of fun! Good luck!

With 90 kids trying out, I'm certain there's been some promoting going already. That should improve your sons odds. Besides you've been working with him for ten years, He'll shine.

On the west coast the H.S season always feels like spring training. Just a time to prepare for the summer and fall tournaments.

quote:

Originally posted by iheartbb:
I think you should also consider what is the norm at your school. I know around here, a lot of times parents just hung back well away, sipping their coffee, chit chatting, etc. Other times, there was not a soul in sight. When you arrive to drop of your son, and a whole crowd is hanging out, why not? Our coaches never talked to anyone except the players. If you drop off and no one is there, (hint, hint, don't stay

I have found over the years, and has been touched on, the kids know who the players are. If they have not been contaminated by parental influence, the kids could pick the team every time, and believe me they are brutal. They would pick the best players for the team.

I agree with Iheartbb, check out what is the norm for the program; I have attended many a tryout with a whole slew of parents who knew how to conduct themselves and some that did not. Some programs will tell their parents a code of conduct at the tryouts and after their kids are in the program. Communication are sometimes through the players.