Proper way to address coach

wragg, this rates as one of the weirdest responses I've seen.  LOL!

Generally, we live in an era when parents -- and some players -- expect a coach to run a team as if the team existed to suit the moment-by-moment preferences of that one player and his parents.  40 years ago, your own parents would have nipped this in the bud.  Today, the parents are often the ones leading the charge in the opposite direction. 

I'm not sure if the explosion of travel ball in the last 15 years has fueled this, or if travel ball just sees the same thing for the same reasons.  But it occurs to me that after 6-8 years of building the expectation that the team exists for the player's individual benefit, it can be hard to turn that battleship around and get parents to understand that it is the obligation of the player to serve the team and not the other way around.

But if kids don't learn this as young as they once did, they'd better get it learned in high school, because carrying the narcissistic approach into adulthood, while all too common, inevitably leads to a lifetime of frustration, anger and failure.

While I don't disagree that there are parents fostering poor behavior in this respect with theier children, it just isn't true that this is some new thing. It was happening when I was in HS 30 years ago, too. At best, the difference is that there were fewer opporunities for it to happen then in an era when there weren't as many athletic opportunities as there are today.

Moreover, the majority of kids do learn things the right way, and in HS sports, if they want an opportunity to compete, they will learn it quiet quickly even in the cases where the parents haven't figured it out.

Golden post.  If parents coming here looking for guidance were to read this first, many of their questions would be answered.

I say this more as a parent observing other parents than I do as a coach.

Thanks, Coaches

Great stuff Midlo and right on the money... Thanks.

Great post, Midlo.  Couldn't have said it better myself.

I've been reading this thread with particular interest because my oldest son is just about to start his first season as a head coach, at his old high school. Chances are that he will make a few mistakes, but I think he will be great with player development, motivation, and game management. I suspect that the most challenging part of the learning curve for him will be dealing with parental expectations - for their own sons' playing experience and for a winning record.

Julie

Julie ... I found when parents were delusional about their kid's baseball and softball opportunities it was usually those coming from travel. Their kids had always been studs in their travel are group. What the parents didn't understand was high school varsity is a jump to 18u ball. And most of the kids on varsity were already travel players at the 16u and 18u level.

I replied earlier, but for some reason this topic struck a chord with me. The fact that it is only the 1st week of Feb and parents have already decided to complain in writing?  The timing imo just says it all.