Question on transfers

Roadking -
I'll provide the link to the Transfer guide for the do's and don'ts, but I think the first thing is to ask why your son is so sure this college is not the right fit so soon into his first year. Remember freshman year is quite a change from HS, especially for a "highly recruited" kid. They are not the top dog any more, the competition is much better, the expectations are higher, especially for the scholarship holders. Getting use to coaches and their program, new team mates, juggling classes with baseball..... all tough stuff for a young man and it may have them wondering if they made the right decision. Well, these are the challenges all freshman players (and parents ) are facing and this environment isn't necessary unique at this school. The good news is everything usually gets easier as they become more comfortable with the program. Make very sure that he REALLY REALLY is that unhappy with the coaches and the school. Talk it over and have him compare experiences with friends at other programs. Then, if he still feels he has made the wrong decision, follow the guidelines to start your search for another program for next year. Yes, you are right, it won't be easy and $'s may not be there like they were when he were first recruited, but only you and your son know if that is the right decision. I wish you the best of luck.

Transfer Guide

It is hard to transfer mid season.

The player can do one of two things, IMO. Tough it out and play, or ask for a redshirt, practice with the team, concentrate on school. End of year ask for a release, it most likely would be granted. If given a release, he goes on a release list and is allowed to talk to other schools. If he has spoken to others without release, it is in violation of NCAA rules.

I am curious as to why, after one semester the highly recruited player feels it is not the right fit.

Not an immediate issue, just wondering about possibilities down the road depending on how things shake out. It's understood that adjusting to so many things the first year is very, very hard for a kid. Not a coach issue: they're tough and ultra intense, but fair and capable. Welcome to D1 ball. Not an opportunity issue: has a decent shot at weekend starts. Coaches think he's got real promise to help the team this year.

Just finding it tough adjusting to an environment with few like-minded peers on the team to connect with and no time outside to connect with non-baseball kids. He's a fun, very social kid that could make several new friends if he was dropped off in Grand Central Station. He's OK with social drinking but not with the explicit goal seeing who is the fastest at getting fall-down comatose drunk and waking up in bed with some girl with no name and no memory of getting there. He has some strong Christian values of his own that draw some firm lines between partying to have a good time and meet people versus being immoral and disgusting. He's just finding it hard to relate to significant # of players that prioritize things as A) getting drunk; B)getting laid w/ the flava of the week; C) getting drunk some more; D)playing ball; E) getting more drunk; F) getting more chew G) academics.

Everything on the ball field is great ... it's off the ball field that's a big empty space, and he's used to being surrounded by close friends of a similar mind-set. I've told him it's just part of entering the adult world ... everywhere you go in life you have to re-establish yourself and slowly build a new network of like-minded people, but it just takes time. In the mean time you just have to temporarily get comfortable with a little loneliness and being your own best friend. There's always meeting new people through activities outside the team, but there's simply no time left in the day. Practically every waking moment revolves around the team.

Roadking -
Yep, I understand what you mean and that is a tough situation to deal with. As a freshman its worse because they haven't yet had time to get to know other players and non-players in school who have the same interests and values. It will get better, though it might be lonely for a while. Just part of the maturing process to learn how to handle these situations. It sounds like the school and baseball part of his life are going well, so I'd do the best you can to support him and praise his decisions to not get involved. It's a tough time for you too as a college freshman parent! You're experiencing the separation and helpless feeling we've all gone through when you can't be there to help them. Trust me, it will get better for both of you soon. Good Luck and congratulations on your son's success this Fall.

Roadking,

Yikes, that does sound like a very tough situation for an 18 or 19 year old young man probably away from home for the first time.

This may sound strange, but just a thought you could share with your son to help make it feel less lonely and uncomfortable for him. With his beliefs and values that you mentioned (my two sons attended Christian schools from K-12 and one now attends a small Christian college, one a large public university), ask him to think about the fact that he may have been led to be there, for whatever length of time he ends up staying, to make an impact on the life of someone who needs it. Suggest that each day he look to see if there is at least one opportunity to make a positive impact on the life of someone, whether that's by quietly being a positive example, or by being a friend to one other player on the team who might be feeling the same way he is. If he does find a little glimmer of light like that in each day, he may get a lot more satisfaction out of the situation - besides the impact he just might make on one other person.

Best wishes to your son, I feel for him, and for the concern you must be feeling for his loneliness and alone-ness.

Roadking,
Your post is an example of baseball life at some schools.
Despite being baseball players, our kids are human and want to experience college life as well, which includes friends outside the baseball circle. Leadership on the baseball team from older players and coaches usually helps in managing these problems before they get out of hand.
My son is lucky to have a coach who puts up with no monkey business but once was a college student himself who knows that everyone has to find their own way at becoming an adult. If off the field antics hurts perfomance on the field or in the classroom, you are out. He is very good at managing to have very early fall weekend practices, workouts just so that you know that you have to be your best early am. I think that this is smart team management on his part, but very hard to determine before one gets to campus as to expectations. A coach cannot interfere with players off the field lives, but can manage his team to the point that you have no choice but to go to every class, report to all practices on time in your best shape and frame of mind.
My sons team is very close and they all look out for each other, because the team cannot succeed unless everyone is doing what they are supposed to do. He has made friends off the team as well, mostly due to living off campus his second year.
The adjustment to college life is hard, trying to adjust to team mates who have nothing in common with you is like living with a bad room mate.
I can only give advice as I would to my own son. Fall is a difficult time, especially if attending a large school that has a big emphasis on a football season. Things are crazy and the atmosphere presents itself as such. Things seem to have a way of getting to normalcy in the spring when baseball season arrives. I would encourage him to continue to concentrate on being the best he can be on the field to win a starting role and excell in the classroom. In the spring if things don't turn around he can ask for release, perhaps to a smaller environment, but that does not mean problems don't exist. He can take his time and do some homework in really finding a program and school that he finds as the right fit.
In the meantime always remember that the grass is not always greener.

I have responded to your post, because I feel that this is an important topic. The lure of the big school, the big program, is not always the best fit for every player.