RECRUITED SON D3 GETTING NO PLAYING TIME

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
what is this "calling home " stuff----aren't these players in college?

And he better keep calling home till his mom and I are dead. He doesn't stop being my son just because of a life stage.

I still call my folks (late 60s) a couple times a week and sometimes I even grouse about a job issue. MY dad still calls HIS dad every Sunday night. Venting or seeking advice is not the same as asking parents to solve problems.

TR strikes me as those folks my own parents in Fl are baffled about. Bitching and moaning because the kids and grandkids want to come and visit.

I wish I could call my parents. Dad died in 1980. Mom 1989. I'd tell my dad the Phillies won the World Series (twice!) and mom that the Eagles got rid of Buddy Ryan (she thought he was mean).

quote:

Originally posted by AntzDad:
I wish I could call my parents....

Me too! We're in about the same boat on that.

There are plenty of reasons a child should call home. Sometimes they just need to vent to someone. I'd rather that be me as a parent. It might not be a good thing if they vent to another player who then, in turn, runs to the coach. It doesn't mean that everything I hear from my child is the truth. Remember, there are different "truths" at play. One is the emotions of a player away from home who feels like their world is in turmoil and they just don't know where to turn. Then, there is the coach's perspective which, while totally different, may or may not be accurate. Still, they are the coach and so, that won't change. As a parent then, we have to ask ourselves where is the line between beting a shoulder to cry on and a crutch for our child. IMO, that call is coming for most parents of athletic children who continue on to college. We have had our phone call already. We did our best to provide that long distance hug and then kick in the butt. Personally, I am so thankful that my child is playing because she wants to and not because we prodded her to play. It makes it easier knowing that we didn't force college athletics upon her.

To the OP, you stated that your son had interest from some D-Is and now at a D-III he isn't getting any playing time. You mentioned that the coach made "promises" to you and your child. That is a vast difference in level of competition. There is more to this story. You might want to have a sit down at some point with your child. I'd suggest that you have your son have a sit down with the coach. The "truth" is in there somewhere. JMHO!

there ls no way my son calls home to complain to me about playing time----he knows what he would hear

This guy seemed to turn out alright after he called home every night to talk to his parents: http://books.google.com/books?...#v=onepage&q&f=false

Here's the story of a friend's son. Freshman year he went to one of the storied college baseball programs. Aside from not playing he didn't like the coach's approach in terms of what would help him get drafted. He transferred to a JuCo. He didn't start the first two weeks. He got a pinch hit, got a start and won a position. He then went on to a D1 without the promise of a position. He didn't start opening day. He eventually got a pinch hit, a start and won a position. Through his college experience he was only a starter opening day twice. But he was a four year starter.

At every level of minor league baseball he never started opening day. Yet he's always a starter by May 1. He's made several minor league all-star games. He's in his early 30's now. This kid has been screwed by never getting called up. Each of the last four years he's been cut at the end of the season so a prospect could have his position. Each February he finds a team. He always earns a starting position by May 1.

What happens now is he rooms with the prospect, teaches him about adversity and how to act like a professional. Every year he finds a team and wins a position. He loves baseball. He thinks it's incredible he's paid 75K (over six months) to be a kid and play baseball. One year he played in Japan and made much more money. Most of all it was a great cultural experience he wouldn't have outside baseball.

I asked the kid (early 30's) when he's going to stop trying to make the majors. I couldn't use the word quit. I don't think he understands the word "quit." He said he loves baseball so he'll retire when they rip the uniform off him. He added, he'll then pursue a coaching position.

He was a shortstop in college. He now plays seven positions. He even went to the AFL to try to learn to catch two years into his pro career.

Scidoc ... How much does your son love baseball?

JH,
Nice story.

On the flip side, when son was a freshman he was called on early and often and struggled and he was pushed to the max. Weekdays he would start, weekends he would relieve or close (in lieu of bullpen), he was so frustrated he called one night to tell us he was ready to come home!

Always allow your player to call home to vent, be supportive and listen, offer suggestions, if asked and don't be afraid to play devil's advocate. My suggestion is to remember there are two sides to every story and it's not unusual for the player to feel that coach doesn't like him or he deserves more time than those that have it. Keep in mind that often times upperclassman get the first shot until they lose it, it's just sometimes the right of passage for most. Keep in mind that someday your player will be the starter fighting to keep his spot, tell your player to be prepared for when the time comes and NEVER act like you are better than anyone else.

I generally agree with the idea of being persistent. And the unspoken underlying rule here is to attempt to view the coaches decisions objectively rather than through the prism of your own playing time.

Having said that, there are abundant stories of coaches who have blinders on, and who see everything through a "template". If you don't fit it, you don't play. Troy Aikman started at Oklahoma and left for UCLA when he realized that the promises that OU would throw the ball more were simply made to get him there. There are more than a few other situations like that.

As always, its a question of what the real alternatives are, and what the true "cost" and risks of those alternatives are. Not easy decisions to make.