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Bottom line is it seems that we started this process too late. Knowing what I know now, I would have started a year ago. The process seems to be about self promotion and showcases to gain exposure.
College recruiters at the "athletic scholarship" levels, go after the players they want. Sometimes I think people get confused into thinking it's all about marketing and promotion. Exposure can help, but only if you have what they want. You can be the worlds greatest self promoter, but they will still go after the kid they want, even if that kid never contacted them.
Coaches do not wait around and fill their roster by waiting for players and parents to contact them. If you are a player they know about and they think you can help their program... They will initiate things.
It's fine to tell them that you are interested in their program. After that, anything else could be a waste of time.
BTW, as long as you understand everything, and are confident, being a recruited walk on can work out well. It's actually true that scholarship money is often gone. However, most players offered recruited walk on status, are talented enough to be a scholarship player at another school.
It's always been my opinion that age 18-20 are very important developmental years. That is why the MLB clubs draft high school kids. If the plan is to be a starter by your junior year, I'd go elsewhere. By the time you're a junior, there will be two more recruiting classes full of players they went after. And these are players that haven't spent the last two years on the bench. I know it happens, but more often than not, the bench can be a permanent position. If that is acceptable, great, everyone needs great team mates.
One more thing... There are no guarantees. And coaches know that the best players, the ones they really want, don't even bring up guarantees of roster spots or playing time. If someone wants a guarantee, I would be skeptical of that player.
There are exceptions to most everything. Many have said it here over the years and I think it is true. Often parents and players seem to hear what they want rather than what was really said or more importantly not said. Bottom line... If that "DI" school knows who you are and not working hard to get you... They are telling you something that you should pay attention to.
Best of luck