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My son and his high school coach do not have a good rapport.  Coach knows he is very good  athletically but does not like his attitude/arrogance.  He has done very little as the adult to build a good relationship with my son and vice versa.  My son feels he is against him always and talks to him negatively.  My son has played previous 3 years for high school in both the forced fall league and regular spring seasons.  He is a senior wanting to play at college level.  This year his coach did not select him for fall league because of his personal feelings.  My son plays on one of top travel teams in country, runs a 6.75, can pitch 85-87 and hit for average and power and our high school team is not very good.  He added freshman to varsity roster and jv players that are rising sophomores. His fall team is a replica of his spring team so he is basically making the statement now that he will not pick my son in spring.   And probably would like to hurt his recruiting chances.

My question are how important is senior high school season to college coaches?  If he is not on team, how will this be perceived by college coaches?  Should we move him to another school his senior year so thaf he can play?  Should i or my son have conversation with the coach. He has D2 and juco offers now and has drawn some interest from D1s.  Any information would be helpful.
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My first priority would be to have the player talk to the coach and try to fix the situation.  He is going to have to deal with personality issues with other coaches, coworkers, etc. for the rest of his life so it is a good idea to learn how to deal with it effectively.  If he gives this a legitimate effort and it doesn't work, then you might have to look into other options.  I know of a similar situation where a potential D-1 player was benched for the majority of his senior season (don't know why, didn't ask) and ended up having to go JuCo.  I heard that D-1 coaches had called the HS coach to ask when the player would be pitching so they could come watch but were told that he was suspended without any reason given.

My advice would be that your son not you initiate a conversation with the coach and the subject would be what do I have to do to improve and make the team as I want to play and help the team win?

Hopefully that conversation clears the air and your son gets through his Senior year and moves on to play at next level. Depending on the feedback and outcome , you can then determine next steps.

 He might as well try to clear the air first , because coaches want to win and if he is as good as outlined above , the attitude must be a huge issue in this coach's mind so much so that he would rather him not there around younger players. Not saying the coach is right in his view just pointing out that most elite players don't get cut.

 

 

 

Son has the opportunity to learn a few lessons about life and suck it up and try to repair this.

 

IMO he must recognize that the coach is going to be there and it is his ball club.  Unless Coach is doing something inappropriate that would warrant a dismissal he is not going to change or go anywhere.  So the player has to suck it up and deal with it if he wants to play. 

 

It will not be the last time in his life he will deal someone that will not be of his choosing but comes with the territory AND he doesn't like.  Teachers, bosses and In-laws come to mind for starters.  Death matches every time you encounter someone that rubs you wrong is a tough way to live life. 

 

I also don't know how much respect this coach as among the other coaches but if he is warning people off your son as "not worth it attitude" then your son is also getting another lesson.  You are your reputation.  Protect it, build it and cherish it.  In the end your good name is among everyone's most valuable possessions. 

baseballmom25,

If your high school coach is anything like my son's I wouldn't worry about it hurting his chances. If he is on one of the top travel teams in the country,chances are he should be getting noticed by college coaches following the travel team. I don't think a lot of college coaches put much stock into what a high school coach thinks anyway. They see the bad ones for what they are,guy's just out to collect the extra $3000 per year to coach the team. If your son is that good, then the decision not to play him is more a reflection on the stupidity of the coach and his bias toward your son.

My son has been receiving college offers from coaches who have seen him play during his travel season, not during his high school season. Good Luck !!

I'm guessing part of the problem has been generated by your son. Then how he carries himself bothered the coach. Your son should politely approach the coach and have a talk with him. Your son will need to understand who the person of power is (it's not him) before having this talk. The situation may not be hard to fix. The coach may respect your son manning up and addressing the situation. 

 

I'm sure your son would rather be playing. But regardless of what happens he (or you) shouldn't bad mouth the coach. If asked, "I would prefer not to discuss it." It would be better not to have a red flag senior year. It may be harmless. It may not. You never know. But the easy fix is fix it now.

Originally Posted by baseballmom25:
My son and his high school coach do not have a good rapport.  Coach knows he is very good  athletically but does not like his attitude/arrogance.  

Well.......does he show these things?  If so then this is 100% on your son to fix this relationship.  If he's really not this way then I seriously doubt this relationship can be fixed.  If your son has the talent and is being seen by the right people he will be fine.  It's like my principal says - the reason why you try to provide 3 - 5 references is that if there is an issue with someone there are others that will off set it.

People who work for me.... don't, for long at least,  if they have "an attitude and are arrogant"  Don't know the situation but the solution is your son's problem. 

 

Regarding recruiting it is hard to say, depends if the recruiting coach calls up the head coach and what he says.  

Last edited by BOF

If your son wants to play HE has to go and speak to the coach, not YOU. Stay out of it.

 

I am willing to bet that his attitude and arrogance did him in, some players think that they are so good they can act anyway they wish because the coach will never let them go. Obviously that isnt true.  And obviously the coach doesnt want his attitude to rub off on the younger players.

 

Sounds like your son may need some growing up, maybe this will be a good lesson for him.

 

Blaming the coach on ruining his recruiting chances just does't cut it for me.

The old saying -- You catch more flies with honey.  Whether your kid is right or wrong (bad attitude and arrogance or not), he needs to suck it up, swallow his pride and fix it with the coach.  The beauty is in 8-9 months, he'll be graduating and he'll never have to deal with the guy again.  So it is only short term.  Good luck. 

I agree with others.  Your son should try to mend the fence with the high school coach and hope the coach will give him an opportunity to personally grow and lead the younger players next year.  If your son is as talented as you suggest, he'll probably find a program based on his skills and the resources of his national travel team.  My oldest son played for a similar type travel team and only one college coach called his high school coach.  All the other college coaches called his travel coach.

 

Hopefully your son grows out of this phase of his life, and realizes he may have another shot at a better working relationship with his college coaches and teammates who will be far less forgiving.   Working among a team of 34 other talented college players and a coaching staff will keep him in check and humbled. 

 

Good luck.

Last edited by fenwaysouth
Originally Posted by baseballmom25:
My son and his high school coach do not have a good rapport.  Coach knows he is very good  athletically but does not like his attitude/arrogance.  He has done very little as the adult to build a good relationship with my son and vice versa.  My son feels he is against him always and talks to him negatively.  ...

Welcome to the site.  That is a brave and honest first post.  Do you and/or your son see his attitude/arrogance as a potential problem with coaches at the next level?  Are there any issues with the travel team coach?

 

The fact that son plays on a top travel team and he has a good skill set (and he is confident) will obviously garner him opportunities, as you have already experienced.  However, if the attitude/arrogance issues are significant, this can both cost him further opportunities and make it difficult for him to fit in well with a college team (as well as the coach).  So, taking the higher road, shaping up and making every effort to give the coach what he wants for the senior year can only be a worthwhile exercise, even if the coach rejects the attempt.

 

Someone once told me that, in most cases, your son's high school coach won't be instrumental is getting your child a college offer, but he could definitely keep your child from getting an offer.  

 

On another note, my son's basketball coach told the parents that for the past several years he had spent a lot of time coaching attitude, and that last year that would stop.  He wanted all of his players to have a good attitude so that he could coach basketball and not attitude.  The kid with the most talent and the worst attitude just announced that he was transferring due to lack of playing time. 

This is 100% your son's fault, and 100% your fault for enabling him and not teaching him accountability for actions.

 

A kid with ability and a bad attitude will wreck a team. If your son is unwilling to change his attitude issues, how much does he really care about playing?

 

Saying a coach didn't select your kid due to "personal feelings" is a cop out. His "personal feeling" may be that your son has a crappy attitude. 

 

And another piece of advice would be not to be hung up on a "D1" offer. If he can play immediately at a D2 or juco than that is most likely a better place for him to be. If a D1 hasn't offered yet, he probably isn't a big piece of their immediate future his freshman year. The D1 label is often an ego thing. Doesn't mean it will give him the best shot at advancing his baseball career.

BaseballMom - I  agree with many of the posts here.  It's up to your son to mend fences with the HS coach.  Not yours.  Baseball is a team sport and supporting the team (not the individual) goes a long way.  It's about the team, not the individual.

 

As far as transferring to another HS - consult your states rules.  Some states have very restrictive rules about transferring - in some cases the student has to wait one year before he can play any sport at the school he transferred to. 

 

It's hard to say how not playing his senior year will sit with college coaches.  Some put emphasis on what they saw at showcases and tournaments while others want to see how a potential recruit interacts with his HS teammates.

 

Was he on a showcase or travel team?  How did the D1, D2 and JuCo's become aware of him?

 

My son's HS coach was very instrumental in getting interest for my son at the next level.  He ended up at a D2 JuCo and received a nice D2 offer towards the end of his 2nd year at the JuCo.

Baseballmom,

 

I dont think that others mean to be hard on you, for me, as a mom I know how we want to protect our young, its instinctive, but I can tell you from experience that if you get on his case while in HS, it will be easier later on.  Most college programs will not put up with attitudes so better to adjust it now.  Maybe the coach is letting your son know in his own way, improve or you wont play for me in the spring.

 

FWIW, when my son was being recruited by a particular program one of the players (a first round pick out of HS) was strongly trying to sell himself to this same program. The coach told me later on that there was no way he would offer that player, even though he knew he would be drafted and most likely one of the most talented he saw that year, he wasnt taking any chances, he did not appreciate his attitude.

 

Also throughout my sons 3 years of college, I had seen a player or two asked to leave because they just were not "team" players.   Keep in mind that is VERY important in the college game to not come with an attitude that you are better, or that the coach turned into an idiot, or is against you, or he should be acting more like the adult, because by 18 your son IS now an adult and responsible for his actions and attitude.

 

You can think that all you want, but it has to not ever be related to those that will determine whether you play or not. NEVER.

 

Also stop feeding the wolf, by letting your son think he is better than anyone else. Parents need to step back, only time you have a say is when your player is hurt.

 

Good luck.

If it were my son, I would advise him to request a meeting with the coach to say, "Message received.  I realize I've had a bad attitude.  I am sorry.  I will work hard to improve.  Please re-consider putting me on the fall team.  If you don't, I will accept your decision and spend the fall working hard so I can show up at the spring tryouts ready to play with a better attitude and a stronger body. Please give me another chance."

The thing people often forget when talking about the importance of a high school coach. The HS coaches are all different when it comes to credibility with college coaches.  

 

However, no matter how much clout a high school coach has, most college recruiters interested in your son will want to talk to his HS coach, travel coach, and others that might know him.  Most often it won't be about his ability because the college coach already knows about that. They want to know what the HS coach thinks when it comes to being coachable, a good teammate, bad habits, attitude, character, toughness, work ethic, etc.  In other words, they want to know what kind of kid they are likely to get.

 

Talent is always the main thing, but it is far from the only thing.  There have been many extremely talented players end up failing because of something other than talent. It is why makeup is so very important to MLB scouting departments. 

 

BaseballMom25,  Please take this the right way.  It doesn't make any difference if all of this is the coaches fault or your sons fault.  It's not good! It is a red flag!  It is something that needs to be corrected, if at all possible. 

Originally Posted by coach2709:
Originally Posted by baseballmom25:
My son and his high school coach do not have a good rapport.  Coach knows he is very good  athletically but does not like his attitude/arrogance.  

Well.......does he show these things?  If so then this is 100% on your son to fix this relationship.  If he's really not this way then I seriously doubt this relationship can be fixed.  If your son has the talent and is being seen by the right people he will be fine.  It's like my principal says - the reason why you try to provide 3 - 5 references is that if there is an issue with someone there are others that will off set it.

Good advice.  My son had a couple of issues with his coach and I had him march in his office and work it out.  Hell, there were times when I wanted to punch my son as well because of his 17-18 year old attitude.  ALL YOU DADS ON THE BOARD THAT HAVE/HAD A 17 YEAR OLD KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 

 

If we, as adults, have a disagreement with the boss we better figure it out or it can hurt our careers.  It does not matter who is right or wrong, just that there is a problem.  This is a good time for son to learn this lesson and work it out.  It's part of growing up.    

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