Subjects to be brought up in first team meeting

How refreshing, an actual HS baseball question!

As a incoming freshman parent, my suggestion is sit back and enjoy.

If you go in with high expectations you are just going to be disappointed. It is not a high level travel program.

Ask questions on how as parents you can support the program such as fund raising, building good will in the program, etc.

As time goes on, you will understand the summer program, but what is most important at the first meeting is a positive attitude and the development of the "team".


Good Luck and enjoy the ride!

I can pretty much guarantee you are going to be disapointed in your program. Get used to it now, shut up and listen first.

Start off right and make sure your son takes the lead on most communication with the coach. Have your son talk to the coach about any type of throwing program he is on and work it in around the HS schedule. A coach is going to generally help a kid who comes to him and says, for example "coach I am on a 5 day a week LT program, how can I best work it in the the HS practices." That said he is going to have to adjust to the HS program, not the other way around.

Get active in the booster club and help out where you have something to add. Find out some critical needs and help improve it. I talk to our coach all of the time about many things but never about, playing time, practice schedules, organization, etcc, nothing that has anything to do with what goes on between the lines.

Generally disorganized programs have disorganized fields and equipment. What you can do is help organizing all of the other stuff around the program. Fields, infrastructure, etc. Doing this will help the situation without getting in the middle of something you really don't want to get involved in.

Go in with the intent to leave it better off than when you started. The HS program is just on small piece of your son's baseball's development.

Generally coaches like the one you are describing are happy if their kids are playing at the highest level they can away from the program during the off season. Work out his off season program and have your son communicate with the coach what he will be doing.

Be positive and make positive contributions and life will be good.

In our program, the freshman parents have to wash the senior parents' cars, every Friday after practice.

We have a new coach(2nd year).he has been very pro active during this past summer and the off season.He has talked to all the parents both JV and Varsity.(No Freshman team).He has got a good feel for what the wants are but more importantly what the real needs are. He emails me once a week or so just to ask me things,What do I think about this or that.I have become kinda the liason to the parents of the players.He is our link to the AD.From time to time the dads and the coaches get together and just shoot the bull.It seems to be working well.We are currently trying to coordinate a trip to NC for our spring training.Not a lot of outside time he in Wisconsin when the teams are able to start.This has been quite the undertaking.Not because of the money but because the culture surrounding baseball in our area.If its not football nothing else matters.So people like myself and others that have been involed in travel baseball or other travel sports are starting to step forward and trying to convince the neysayers of the benefits of a program that has an offseason workout program and trys to schedule the best competiton available.The Freshman and Sophmore parents have ruffled a few feathers but we are standing strong so far and hopefully we help to improve the program for the long haul.just my 2 cents

My problem at these meetings is keeping my opinions to myself. Over the years, I have gone from an ardent gung-ho mega-volunteer, to being ambivalent, to just doing what it takes to cover player fees and take my turn in the concession stand and gate. 3 coaches in 4 years kind of lends itself to that.

I like the advice to seek to make the program better than when you got there, and stay positive.

During my gung-ho days, I wanted my son to participate in everything and anything the HS coach organized. These days, I ask 2B dad to remind the coach that our state athletic association rules prohibit mandatory offseason conditioning programs so that 2B can do his own thing.

Just keep your expectations reasonable, and keep smilin'.

I've have found the most "gung-ho" parents are the parents of kids who may be borderline anyway or freshman parents. We were very active too when my older son was a freshman, now, not so much. He paved his own path so to speak. We discovered all big decisions (spring trip, training, etc) was being decided on by the Booster President and the Coach alone - so my input (or anyone else's) was irrelevant. I took my own advise to shut up and just tell me where you need me. In the grand scheme of things, it really is not as important as some make it out to be.

If I were you, I would not over volunteer and sit back and listen. The politics that take place at these mtgs are a show unto itself.

Direct your questions to the parent of a varsity player before the meeting. See what answers you get. Maybe you plant some ideas in that parent's head, that in turn he asks of the coach. The best way to be involved is offer your services for whatever is needed. Then respond when asked.

I have run the full circle.... it's been an ugly trip too! My son has been a varsity starter since his freshman year. He played/started every game since. I've done every volunteer job, from summer coach to fall coach and every other job in between. And, I've tried to "help" with the exact same things you just outlined.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is to continue to empower your son to take care of his own business and just enjoy watching him play.

Most, if any HS coaches will NOT appreciate your input. ESPECIALLY, if you are right. Just my .02 cents worth!

GED10DaD

I don't think people respond well to the new guy being too outspoken and pointing out all the faults of a program or a business. Get your feet wet the first year by doing the volunteer stuff like getting the field ready in February and the like.

After you see what is really going on, not just what you've heard and seen from the outside, then you can make suggestions for change.

quote:

We are having our first official team meeting in December. ...

A.) Should only be about budgets.
- Varsity probably has not been selected
- JV may not be selected.
- Do Upper classman really care about the Freshman?
- Parents, especially Mommies of upper classman, will b^tch the loudest when son loses starting position to talented freshman

I strongly suggest, other than A.), the HS Baseball players across all the classes get together to discuss, agree, document, and sign what the Team rules will be for the Varsity. Such rules may flow down to JV rules.

Bear,
I've heard a my fair share of "daddys" bark too.
Your list is not helpful, other than the budget.

Suggesting kids set the rules, is not my idea of what a coach who needs to lead would do. Not a big fan of democracy on the field.

quote:

I've have found the most "gung-ho" parents are the parents of kids who may be borderline anyway or freshman parents.

There is some truth to this, but some people actually want to help, and to be a part of the program. It can be very rewarding to do something that coaches, parents, and players appreciate, and that makes a real difference to the program. I will admit, though, that as I saw that my son was going to be just fine, regardless of who was coach, I was more than willing to back off and let the new "gung-ho" parents take over.

But there are some varsity parents that want to hang on to some sense of control until their son graduates. And coaches do want you to follow their lead, not the other way around. Like fillsfan and GED wrote, I would tread lightly until you get a little street cred.

2bM -
Agreed. The control freaks are there - especially if they think their involvement will influence the coach. Which is what I have found to be the case most of the time, but not exclusively. A few parents are just nice and want to help out - but they rarely take the lead on something unless asked.

...

The 80/20 rule applies to almost everything in life.

You are one of the 80%.

20% of the people in this world are the ones who donate time and $$ to make their community a better place. Be it the sports program/school their son/daughter is in, their church, the local food bank, etc. You my friend are one of the 80% that sit on the sidelines and complain and do nothing.

Their are many many ways to make your community a better place...find a way. Come on over to the 20% you will find life much more fulfilling.

Dman: I like the comment someone made about establishing credibility. Establish some credibility on your desire to unconditionally help out and you have a chance to make a positive change to your son's program. Enjoy every step of the way!

quote:

We were very active too when my older son was a freshman, now, not so much. He paved his own path so to speak. We discovered all big decisions (spring trip, training, etc) was being decided on by the Booster President and the Coach alone - so my input (or anyone else's) was irrelevant.

This is a red flag comment, in my opinion.

By saying you were "active" when your son was a freshman, do you mean you were giving input on the "big decisions" such as who went on the spring trip and how the players were trained?

I think the parents' opinion on such things should indeed be irrelevant.

This comment sounds as if you started off trying to give all sorts of helpful advice to your son's coaches about how they should run their program, and when they didn't listen, now you just don't get involved at all with anything.

My wife and I were very involved all four years in the baseball program as my son went through it. Concessions stand staffing, fundraising, hosting team parties, etc. In fact I am still the treasurer of the booster club, so I have regular discussions with the coach.

Never once have I ever offered any input whatsoever on anything to do with the things you suggest.

That is simply not approriate, in my opinion. I find it very revealing that you stopped being involved when your helpful advise was rebuffed.

For you, as a freshman parent, I would not come in too strong. It will feel threating to some.

I would just listen unless asked. If asked, I would answer in I thinks, and I have seens, ..... Do not say "Well, at my sons (insert here) we did it like this" ... that never goes over well.

First meeting is exciting. IMO, if they are having a meeting the team will be picked at that time if it is not yet picked.

I would say to just enjoy your inclusion into high school baseball and just get a feel for the program, teams, coaches and later on you might find a place to contribute.

Doughnutman, our booster club has a bowling social for parents and coaches. Put one together at your local lanes. It's a great way to meet everyone. No baseball talk. Just bowling and laughs. (byob)

The first thing you need to understand as a freshman parent is that you really don't know anything except grapevine stuff, and most of that is inaccurate. It tends to be the product of the simmering of those parents who have been disappointed that their sons' high school experiences did not live up to their helicopter parent dreams. That is, it tends to be almost completely negative. It may or may not be true. Probably not, in the main.

In your first meeting, you need to listen and respond primarily to questions asked. You can ask about things like costs you should expect, or how you might get help arranging car pooling for the kids too young to drive (like your freshman). You can ask how often your son will be asked to do things on weekends, or over spring break. You can ask what the tryout procedures will be, too, since as a freshman right now you don't really know for sure if your son will make any of the school's teams.

Any questions that are borne of the negative things you've heard on the grapevine would just be asking for trouble. It will leave you perceived as going on the attack from the very first meeting. Right or wrong, there's no way for that ever to redound to your son's benefit. In the case of the difficult coach, it might even get your son cut. Take a Jerry Tarkanian towel with you if you have to, but do not give voice to such thoughts.

If the stuff you've heard is false, just sour grapes stuff, then you make a strong negative first impression for no good reason. If it's true, then you're probably dealing with the type of coach who (a) won't change anyway and (b) might well retaliate. Either way, you and your son are the big loser if you bring this stuff up, especially if you do it in front of the whole meeting audience. Though I don't know that doing it privately works any better.

We never had this situation (problem) in our son's HS becdause we had no booster clubs and any meetings were coach and players---fine by me----sometimes the more we try to do the more complicated we make it

I hadn't planned on saying anything. Like I told my son, you are a freshman and I am a freshman Dad. We just shut up and say,"Yes coach."

But I will ask some of the Varsity parents that I know that have kids that have started as Freshman about the routine. I already have asked most of the questions. But even the V parents don't really know what is going on.

quote:

Originally posted by Rob Kremer:

quote:

We were very active too when my older son was a freshman, now, not so much. He paved his own path so to speak. We discovered all big decisions (spring trip, training, etc) was being decided on by the Booster President and the Coach alone - so my input (or anyone else's) was irrelevant.

This is a red flag comment, in my opinion.

By saying you were "active" when your son was a freshman, do you mean you were giving input on the "big decisions" such as who went on the spring trip and how the players were trained?

I think the parents' opinion on such things should indeed be irrelevant.

This comment sounds as if you started off trying to give all sorts of helpful advice to your son's coaches about how they should run their program, and when they didn't listen, now you just don't get involved at all with anything.

My wife and I were very involved all four years in the baseball program as my son went through it. Concessions stand staffing, fundraising, hosting team parties, etc. In fact I am still the treasurer of the booster club, so I have regular discussions with the coach.

Never once have I ever offered any input whatsoever on anything to do with the things you suggest.

That is simply not approriate, in my opinion. I find it very revealing that you stopped being involved when your helpful advise was rebuffed.

Rob - No need to be so hostile. I think you misinterpreted my post.
I guess when the parents are expected to flip the bill for the trip and training, it is relevant. My point was the meetings were held to get our input, but it reality, they were just for show. I used to volunteer to do all sorts of things, and now I do what I am asked. Which is fine.

When my son was a fresh, they took a vote on spring trip, training etc. Now the booster club pres just tells us where we are to go. Either way, my kid is fine. I was never a loud voice - but I'm not a fan of gathering people for input just to say the decision has been made.

quote:

Originally posted by BOF:
...

The 80/20 rule applies to almost everything in life.

You are one of the 80%.

20% of the people in this world are the ones who donate time and $$ to make their community a better place. Be it the sports program/school their son/daughter is in, their church, the local food bank, etc. You my friend are one of the 80% that sit on the sidelines and complain and do nothing.

Their are many many ways to make your community a better place...find a way. Come on over to the 20% you will find life much more fulfilling.

Dman: I like the comment someone made about establishing credibility. Establish some credibility on your desire to unconditionally help out and you have a chance to make a positive change to your son's program. Enjoy every step of the way!

BOF -
I am in fact of the 20% that volunteer to make my community better. I have taken a back seat in the Boosters because it so political. Perhaps I should have said I was the Fundraising Chair.

Don't go throwing accusations about me. You know nothing about me or my background.

OUCH---the three spots get nasty again !!!1

Actually TR, I was not getting nasty. I was trying to explain my position, which it seems I did not do very well in my posts.

I was being attacked for not volunteering in my community. The post was about what to ask and do on the first team meeting. Perhaps I gave too much info about my experience that led everyone to believe I do nothing, and thus do nothing to help others out. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am by no means a Saint, but I do drive the elderly to Dr. Appts. etc. and help with the food drives. That being said, my advice was to help out when ask and listen to what was being said.

Now, how that got turned into me being nasty I do not know.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bear:
Dot Dot Dot


You are confused conducting players meetings (off the field) versus a Head Coach's rules on and off the field.



[QUOTE]

You are correct I am confused, it was never elaborated what type of meeting was being held.

Very hostile today.

Sorry to everyone who was offended.

Happy Thanksgiving

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Hostile? Nah!



Happy Thanksgiving indeed!




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Got Wood - Your name should be Got Class! - Thank you for the PM.
Happy Turkeyday.

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Well you're welcome Dot, Dot, Dot. I don't know whether to bark or meow!


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New to the board and have a freshman player so this discussion is of interest.

I saw some references to "buying" influence with the coach through involvement or financial support but no one answered the question. Do either of these have any effect or does the coach choose on what he see on the field?

It depends on the coach and AD. In the school which my children attend(ed), the corruption is rampant. And, yes, the coach and AD can be "bought". Actually, the AD can and has been bought, as he has the ultimate say in just about everything athletic.

By the way, in 9 years of high school baseball and then softball, there has only been ONE parent meeting--fundraising, etc., is very definitely dictated to us.

Thurm--welcome to the hsbaseballweb!

Thrum -
At the risk of getting raked over the coals again.
I think every school is different. My experience was that our coaches and AD can and are bought by money and favors to accommodate the coaches wants.

That being said, if you son is a decent player, he will play, because the coach ultimately, wants to win. Those not in favor may not have as many opportunities to prove themselves like others, so they need to be on their game 100% of the time, personally, I think it has made them stronger players. I have said to my boys let your playing do the talking. They don't need me to influence the coach.

Because we are a new program (a first year school with no Sr class) I think my son will get an opportunity to play, perhaps even Varsity. The Coach comes from a very successful program so I expect the team to compete early on. Its just the facillities are bare bones and the expenses and building plans are enough to crush a new program. It seems the original parents bear the burden for the 1st few years in this situation.

Thanks for the input.

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At least you pioneers will have a memorable and lasting legacy!



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We only have the one 'formal' parent-coach meeting, before the season starts. All other get-together events are arranged by the booster club.

I think the parents whose programs don't have a booster club should consider starting one. Collect dues- $100, $20, $1000- what ever is appropriate for your area. Just enough so a coach doesn't have to go to the school board to beg for a new rake or trashcan. We always have money left over, so we usually put it toward the year-end banquet and team awards.

Also, you should have a team website, and webmaster. This is important to keep schedules and team, league news up to date. The booster president (if no one else wants to) acts as a liason between coach and parents.

Our head coach has a pretty open relationship with everyone. He'd rather players that may have 'something to talk about' deal with him, or another coach, first. He will also speak to parents privately, if requested, but never right after a game. That's a no no.

Yes, in every case the best advice is to volunteer to "work" more and restrain yourself to "talk" less. The HS coach who wants your input will ask, others will appreciate your quiet work ethic.