Talking to coaches about offers.

In my opinion:  yes, if you are asked.  I wouldn’t necessarily suggest a kid bring it up if not asked.

I have heard of kids reaching out to coaches to say something along the lines of “hi Coach, I’ve received an offer I’m considering accepting, however your program is my first choice.  Do you feel like I’m a fit in your program.”

Jerry Ford has wisely said many times on this forum that the best way to get a lot of offers is to get one offer first.

Yup, what 3and2 said.  Depends on context.  If it is meaningful to the conversation, yes.  Generally, you wouldn't bring it up unsolicited unless the offer in hand has a time stamp and, therefore, relevant to the discussion.  I wouldn't discuss details, again, unless very relevant to the conversation.  Example would be if current conversation offers and it is less than what school A offered and you are prepared to have a serious negotiation where you know what your objective is.  Also as 3and2 said, if the coach he is talking to is genuinely interested in the player, he may very well ask what other schools he is talking to.  

Also know that the coaching fraternity tends to be a small world and they often talk to each other.  Be respectful of confidential discussions and don't try to BS, exaggerate or bluff.

Cabbage wrote; “Also know that the coaching fraternity tends to be a small word and they often talk to each other. Be respectful of confidential discussions and don’t try to BS, exaggerate, or bluff.”

This is 100% correct and some of the best advice you could ever get. If you over step your bounds with any school it’s easy to lose credibility - and once it’s lost you don’t get it back. The offended coach then tells his buddies (that are also recruiting your son) that your son isn’t trustworthy. At that point you are SOL. 

We never talked specifics and never had to.  They knew when sons got offers and what those offers were generally.  In both situations, after a big offer was made the others would be calling in a short time.  Not only is the coaching fraternity small but the alumni/fan base is.  We were convinced that there were those who we knew real well that would leak information to the schools they wanted sons to attend.  When he got his UT offer, another P5 called within 30 minutes to up their offer to a full ride to try and trump the UT offer.  We never had to let them know. 

I wouldn't name names. Coaches know the level of play across college baseball and will leverage it against you. Unless you have offers from strong strong programs and are trying to force the hand of a mid major or lower level school, I would stay away from name dropping. It doesn't make sense to tell a P5 program that you have offers from Patriot, MAAC, and Summit League schools. Not that there is anything wrong with schools in those conferences, but a coach at a higher level will say hey we really don't have to make this kid a great offer, or any offer for that matter. 

There was a post on here not too long ago from a parent asking if his son should tell the D1s that were lukewarm on him that he had a bunch of D3 offers. That wouldn't help his cause. But if you had an offer from Florida St and really wanted to go to UNF to stay closer to home, then it would make sense. 

I think it can be valuable to say that he has offers within the conference or from another strong conference, but I would not discuss names unless beneficial  and never discuss money offered under any circumstances. 

Thanks for the quick responses. 

The next question would be, when do verbal offer turn into written offers? 

Thanks again.

@Mac dad posted:

Thanks for the quick responses. 

The next question would be, when do verbal offer turn into written offers? 

Thanks again.

Generally when you receive your NLI 

Son's journey is pretty much identical to Pitching Fan's.  First offer came in, then 30 mins later 2nd offer came in, both #1 & #2 on son's list.  He would have loved to go to either univ and play ball.  He asked both coaches for 48 hrs which they granted.  We "rehearsed" the forthcoming conversations prior to him contacting the coaches with his decision.  Both offers were pretty much identical initially.  Son called school #1 "to be upfront and let them know school #2 also gave an offer" and he was debating which one.  School #1 "found" a little more, the rest is history.  I would NOT recommend turning it into a bidding war because playing with fire.  What I found interesting is that years later school #2 coach said something to the effect they recruited him but was turned down.  He could have made a big impact for the school.  Coaches never forget I guess.

FWIW my son received a nice JUCO offer that came with a time clock.  It was a great offer and a program my son knew would be great for him.  But he had two D1s that had sincere interest in and his goal is to play D1 ball.  I think the approach is everything.  Be honest and have politic-free conversation.  My son called up both of the D1s and genuinely sought out their advice a la "what do you think is best for me?"  Both were honest and told him they couldn't do anything for him now and that taking the JUCO offer is probably the smartest path.  Both committed to continue following him over the next couple years.  The D1 goal (and his desired targets) is still intact, although it involves a detour now.  The goal is the same so his recruiting process continues.  For example, one of the two D1s has a camp scheduled for September now and my son is already registered for it.  He will continue to develop the relationships he's begun at every opportunity he gets.  Now, will the NCAA extend the dead period and kill the September camp?  That's a whole different thread... 

I think most coaches asked my son every time they talked if any new schools had started recruiting him and where things stood.  It was almost universal that they all asked.  When asked, I think you should be honest.  Once you are talking to a coach, if there is another offer, I think it is fine to tell them you have an offer you are considering, and wanted to let them know.  You will find out real quick where schools stand.

To the OP, first off, congratulations on the offer! I would not bring it up unless coaches ask, or your son has other interest (where he would more like to attend), and the offer has a tight time frame. In the recruiting process often coaches would ask, "who else is interested." Son would be more hesitant here, but name a couple of schools that he did have most communication (both his and theirs). You do want to be honest. In most cases the coaches had some idea, as son's focus was primarily on schools in D1 HA Conferences.

That initial offer can help, especially if it with a strong baseball program. One morning/early afternoon, son went on an official visit at Big State U. He received an offer at the tail end of the visit. The school where son ended up committing, knew about the visit.  Upon hearing of the offer, they also offered that night after his Legion DH.

None of my younger son's offers had a timeline on them.  We did get to a point where one said what will it take to get you here?  What more can I do?  That was the point that I pushed him to make a decision.  Who else was he waiting to get in the mix or what more was he looking for.  When the answer was nobody or nothing, then he decided.

My middle son got an offer from UNC and they put a 24 hour timeframe on it.  They told him he was their first choice but they had kids below him that they would move to if he did not want the offer.  That was the only offer that had a timeframe with either of my kids' 50-75 offers between the two of them.

I would remind you as you go through this to not burn any bridges as you have read 1000 times on here. Especially in today's culture when coaches move a lot and players are being let go a lot and that will continue.  There is 8 years between my middle and youngest son and many of the coaches that recruited my middle son also recruited my youngest son.  They did not realize to start with that it was his brother because we had moved states and there was such a time difference between them.  But how we treated coaches in my middle son's recruiting came back to be helpful in my youngest son's recruiting.  There were even about 10 coaches that called my middle son because he still had the same phone number to talk the game and get insight into his brother.  It also spoke to me that they don't get rid of those records from 8 years ago. 

I agree with Ripken, my son got asked several times who else was seriously interested. None of the offers he got came with time stamps. Do any of your son's coaches have a good enough relationship with the college to be able to either put out feelers or to let them know that your son is getting pressure elsewhere but his preference is with them? I have seen that be very effective at least twice but it has to be done with the utmost integrity and honesty. 

Most schools asked son who was recruiting him, but honestly, when he pitched it was like old home week behind home plate as the coaches looking at him chatted with each other and reconnected. There were really no secrets.

Our situation might be unique as we live in a small state with one D1 baseball program, and we play summer HS baseball, so coaches were available to come see him quite a bit. Your situation likely is very different.

This is a delicate topic.  I would only discuss if the coach brings it up and you have to talk about .   You have to be very, very careful what you share.   We had two situations where offers (including FA) needed to be discussed with the Coach because it was a critical path issue for us and a lot of money over 4 years.  

Situation 1 - D1 College 1 had a placeholder offer (25%).   When they found out my son was attending another D1 college's prospect camp (College 2) they upped the offer to 50% and gave him a few days deadline to think it over.  College 1 somehow knew College 2 was going to offer.  College 1's offer was discussed in general terms with College 2 but it was an apples (baseball scholly $$) to oranges (need based financial aid) comparison.   My son handled almost all communication with this situation.

Situation 2 - College 1 and College 2 are in the same D1 conference.  Both offer and include need based financial aid (no athletic scholarships $) packages.   Both have a very low admission rates.   College 1 has a very healthy financial aid package, and it was offered.   We discussed the College 1's FA package with College 2 and they matched it and raised it with a $4K yearly  merit award.    I handled all the communication with the FA office and my son handled the communication with the coaches.

Mac Dad,

Lot's of good advice here.  The only thing I'd add is, what is the reason you would want to bring it up?  If you ask, it should be for a sincere reason.

In my son's case, he got an offer from one of his top 2 schools.  The coach, with good reason, asked my son to give him an answer within a week.  Two days later my son met with the coach from his dream school.  The coach said all the right things but talked in a circular way (my wife and I were with him), and after an hour I could tell my son was confused about what he had heard (but of course he had no questions when the coach asked).  Rather than let the meeting end like that, I said "Excuse me coach, mind if I ask a question?  My son loves this school, this is where he wants to be, but he got an offer from one of the top academic schools in the country and would be very happy there.  He wants to play here, but I won't let him say no to the other school unless he has an offer from you."  The coach seemed surprised that we were unclear, then went on to very firmly lay out his offer and all he'd do for my son.

@fenwaysouth posted:

This is a delicate topic.  I would only discuss if the coach brings it up and you have to talk about .   You have to be very, very careful what you share.   We had two situations where offers (including FA) needed to be discussed with the Coach because it was a critical path issue for us and a lot of money over 4 years.  

Situation 1 - D1 College 1 had a placeholder offer (25%).   When they found out my son was attending another D1 college's prospect camp (College 2) they upped the offer to 50% and gave him a few days deadline to think it over.  College 1 somehow knew College 2 was going to offer.  College 1's offer was discussed in general terms with College 2 but it was an apples (baseball scholly $$) to oranges (need based financial aid) comparison.   My son handled almost all communication with this situation.

Situation 2 - College 1 and College 2 are in the same D1 conference.  Both offer and include need based financial aid (no athletic scholarships $) packages.   Both have a very low admission rates.   College 1 has a very healthy financial aid package, and it was offered.   We discussed the College 1's FA package with College 2 and they matched it and raised it with a $4K yearly  merit award.    I handled all the communication with the FA office and my son handled the communication with the coaches.

For Sit#2 was it awkward for your boy (or you as well) facing the coaches from College 2? 

2022NYC,

Yes, a little awkward for my son but he had become accustomed to talking to adults/coaches during this process.  We always made sure he was the mouthpiece to the college coaches.   My son grew up a lot during his recruitment because he quickly realized that Mom & Dad were only going to provide guidance.  I had no problem talking to FA office as I had talked to them a handful of times previously.   

So, I should have clarified in Situation#2, College#2 was my son's preference due to their engineering program.   He had stack ranked 4 colleges based on his weightings.   We were pretty sure College#2 was going to financially match College#1, as College#2 had recently posted a matching FA policy (for colleges in their conference) on their website.   The (additional) $4k yearly merit award was a total surprise to us...we didn't ask any questions.  ;-) 

Thanks for all the insight. 

Yeah things seem to move pretty fast. 

We will just hang tight and let it roll. My son is the one doing all the talking at this point and he’s doing a great job talking to coaches and being positive. Hopefully his dream school weighs in with a solid offer. Unless they straight out ask we won’t bring up what offer where.  This is a new experience  It’s been very exciting..

In sure I’ll have more posts as topics come up, thanks again. 

Mac