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10 replies

Tasting a Size 10 amongst good news

PH Pat H100+ posts
So here's what happened yesterday. My son is a freshman and plays on his HS freshman team. He has played 1 JV game and practiced with the varsity once. Our varsity team has about 8 seniors on it. So they don't have any underclassmen playing for them. Our JV team has about 5-6 juniors on it at any given time. So yesterday my son was asked to practice with our varsity team and utlimately was asked to dress for today's varsity game. Which is great. He has certainly worked hard enough to earn it. My relationship with the upper classmen parents is non-existant really. I am cordial with most of them and freinds with 1 or 2 dad's. 1 dad has always kept tabs on my son. And likewise I have always kept tabs on his. He has an older boy teraing it up at Marist now. Anyway, I try not to converse with too many of them, basically because I'm not sure how much I have in common with most of them. With the news of my son getting called to played with varsity, I dropped a text to him in which he replies that his son (he has another boy that is a junior on the HS team) was demoted to JV. -Insert the size 10- I immediately call him and tell him to tell me that he is joking. Which he wasn't. I felt awful for him and his kid. His kid is a good player and a better individual. An awesome kid to be around. So I'm not sure what to make of all this, but it certainly was an uncomfortable situation and I hope there's no ill will, from the dad, his kid or any other kids/parents on the team. I guess we just go about our business and see what will happen.
"Go show your father that baseball." - Sandy Koufax (this is what Sandy Koufax said to me after he signed my baseball and found out I didn't know who he was. I was 12 yrs old.)
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LB luv baseball5,000+ posts
Congratulations to your son. Your instincts are probably right. If he wasn't put out he would have said congratulations and left it at that. He pointed it out to make you feel exactly the way you do. Don't be surprised it is very hard for foks when they see their kids in pain and chances are his boy was hurt by it.

One other thought and I hope this is not the case, but I have seen coaches send a message to upper classmen by bringing up the stud soph or frosh with about 5 games left in the season. By the playoffs the upperclassmen are getting the playing time again. Be careful of getting too fired up if the coach is prone to doing this kind of thing.
PH Pat H100+ posts
LB,
I have thought about that as well. My gut feeling is that may be a part of the reason. We have about 8 games left in the season and he didn't exactly bring him up with a "weaker" team tonight. We are playing a top 5 team. My son has had a great year so far at the freshman level and again hasn't played much JV, so yes it is in the back of my mind as to what the coaches motives really are. But on that note...who cares. It is what it is. If he plays him, then my son has a shot to do the most he can with the opportunity.
EdgarFanEdgarFan500+ posts
I agree with LB that this Dad would have said congratulations if he wasn't put out by your text. But, unless he had some reason to suspect that you knew or should have known of his kid's demotion when you texted (perhaps because he knows you have "always kept tabs on" his son) - a suspicion that should have been allayed by your phone call - then in spite of his disappointment and even anger the "high road" thing to do would have been to congratulate your son for his accomplishment. It isn't your son's fault that his son was demoted. All any kid can do is work his tail off and that's all your son did. Any anger or disappointment directed toward you or your son is misdirected.

With time, I think this father will come around, and will have the grace to offer his support and congratulations. I'm sure it isn't the easiest thing in the world to do right in the thick of hearing of your own kid's demotion, but I think someone who has always been supportive in the past will ultimately be supportive now as well.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
I wouldn't worry about it. When the dad comes back to earth he'll realize it's not your fault or your son's fault his son was sent down. Ultimately he'll realize it's due to his son's lack of performance. Or he'll blame it on the coach, join hsbaseballweb and ask if his son should transfer to a private school.
Last edited by RJM
MN-MomMN-MomHSBaseballWeb Owner
RJM, very funny! Smile

Pat,

I agree with several posts above... it is absolutely normal for you to tell the other dad your good news, having no idea that his son was experiencing bad news. And it is absolutely understandable for him to focus at least for the time being on his son's disappointment.

My son (many years ago) was also called up to HS varsity as a freshman and while fortunately I kept my mouth shut, it took me a few games to realize why the parents of older players weren't exactly seeking me out to say "Welcome" (as my son was stealing their son's spot on the field.) Confused (I know, I was a little slow.)

My advice would be to do what it sounds like you are already doing: Keep your mouth shut while enjoying his accomplishment in having been called up at his age, and clap for all the players, whether your son is playing or not. Smile

Julie
B bball123100+ posts
It's unfortunate that it's the parents that make the games not fun. Years ago, my son would routinely close the games for the top two starters in the team. He was 10 and the starters were 12 years' old. We were winning games and the kids were happy because they were winning all the time. Being new to the team, I noticed that only the parents of the two starters would talk to me, come shake my hand and happy to see me. Well they were happy that son could close the games and their sons get the wins. Later, I found out there were parents of other 12 years' old who wanted their sons to pitch and were unhappy because a 10 year old (5th grader elementary school) stole the show. I have learned that there is nothing I could do except to be cordial and not to say anything about the team. When I hear comments such as "my son should get more playing time or my son should pitch", my standard reply is to tell them to talk to the coach. My other observation is that in general, the kids are picking up the bad attitude from the parents. The same kid that threw the bat after being struck out is usually the kid whose parents were complaining about everything. So hang in there and keep a good attitude despite not being welcome. Your son will pick up your attitude, like it or not.

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