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I am sure others have been through this with their sons and their teams and hopefully you have some suggestions on how you handled this situation.

My son is 14 years old, his positions are a pitcher, a first baseman, and an outfielder. Currently,he has the highest batting average and best ERA on his summer select/traveling team. He absolutely loves and appreciates the game. He sometimes loves the game so much that his competitive spirit gets together with his emotions and it shows. In other words, he gets pretty ticked off with his fellow teammates when they do not focus on the game like he thinks they should. He also is the loudest most complimentary cheerleader in the dugout, he encourages his fellow teammates to do better in hitting the ball, run the bases and play the game to the best of their capabilities.

I always thought my son would make a good coach someday if playing baseball never worked out for him.I know he wants the best out of his team he currently plays with and he is going to do the most he can do individually to make sure his team has a chance to win. Unfortunately, it looks as if others on his team don't have that same passion, love, and focus of the game.

I can't say I really disagree with him with his thoughts at times, there is nothing worse then to pitch an outstanding game and have your defense commit a total of 5 errors behind you and allow 6 unearned runs. There is nothing worse then to see half of your team act like they could careless in being there and look like they are trying out for the next episode of Dawn of the Dead. I have told him over and over you can only do what you can control and always look forward to the next at bat and the next game, that is the beauty of baseball. Don't get too high when things are going good and don't get too low and upset when things are going bad.

However,after seeing a variety of competitive baseball teams play this year of different age groups ranging from 14U to 16U, I have to say there are a lot of lazy out of focused players out there. Is this the age that some of these players are only playing baseball because their parents want them to or is this the representation of the lack of a work ethic society we are raising that is showing up on our baseball fields across the country?

Any more suggestions for my son from those who have experienced this? Do I need to find a team that will give him a better batch of more focused players surrounding him next season. Should I place him on a competitive 16U team when he is 15 years old?
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I say this in only the most constructive way: No matter what, you son always should be supportive of his teammates. Baseball is a team game. The players need to be confident in one another. It will serve them all well. And, keep in mind, baseball humbles us all sooner or later. The kid making the game losing play tomorrow could be your son. When that happens he will apprectiate his teammates.
quote:
Originally posted by Kokomojo:
You could also consider having him get his GED either this summer or next and then jump right into Junior College. Wink


That is really funny.

rain delay,
Not sure what you or your son are expecting from 15 year olds. Proball players?
He needs to learn to be a better teammate. Someday he will play with players better than him and he will make mistakes, does he want the same in return?
I agree with all of your answers and he has improved tremendously over the past couple of years. Maturity does help and has helped. I do understand that all players make errors, my son included, we all have when we have played the game. However, this is the problem I have with players on my son's team as well as players on other teams. When they do make an error, they have the attitude they don't really care and they really don't want to learn to make sure that particular error doesn't happen again. That is where I have an issue. In a way they need to be better teammates for those who do try.
quote:
Originally posted by rain delay:
there is nothing worse then to pitch an outstanding game and have your defense commit a total of 5 errors behind you and allow 6 unearned runs.


Sure there is. If you're a fielder, there's nothing worse than playing stellar defense and getting timely hitting only to watch your pitcher serve up a gopher ball to lose the game.

There's two sides to every coin. It's not fair for him to judge his teammates, unless he wants the same treatment...which he doesn't. We all make mistakes, physical and mental, including your son.

quote:
Originally posted by rain delay:
That is where I have an issue. In a way they need to be better teammates for those who do try.


CPLZ say: When finger extended, better to be pointing inward than outward.
Last edited by CPLZ
Errors are part of the game. To visibaly demonstrate frustration or agitation over comiting one only puts a player at a disadvantage when it comes to making the next play. If a player is consistantly making the same error than he may not be in his best position, based on his "tools", and/or the coach may need to spend additional time working with this player or find a replacement.

Some players (especially at younger levels)seem to play harder for for some pitchers vs others. If they really like you and respect you they will sacrifice their body to make a play. I have seen it where pitchers that did not have their teammates respect could watch pop ups in shallow right field fall in for base hits or skied balls fall to the ground untouched. Double plays that get one pitcher out of trouble seem to be a fantasy for pitchers that do not have the respect or "love" of their defensive team mates.

Be a good team mate and you will earn the respectof your team mates, and good things will happen.
Last edited by floridafan
Also, if you count on your defense to lay it all out there, as a pitcher, bad mouthing your teammates won't help much his cause. A player can claim to be the biggest cheerleader in the dugout but if the player's bad mouthing his teammates, then that cheerleading in the dugout will come off as a phony and will come off looking like the game is all about the player.

I think I have a little insight on this since my son was a team captain in his winter sport in HS and his American Legion baseball team and was a vocal leader on his varsity baseball team even though he wasn't a captain. He knew on his teams who cared or didn't but the last thing he'd ever do is to rag on his teammates. Let the coaching staff deal with attitude issues.
Last edited by zombywoof
The situation you describe is not at all unusual, especially right now.

First, I agree with everyone here that it is simply not your son's place to voice his displeasure with his teammates' mistakes. Your son will make his own mistakes, no doubt, and this is a true "Golden Rule" situation. No matter what is happening on the field, he has a behavior lesson to learn here. You are the parent, and that makes it your responsibility to administer that lesson. If you do not, you can expect that eventually someone else will get their fill of your son and administer the lesson another way. That could mean a coach benches him, or it could mean that a teammate punches his lights out. Take your pick.

That being said, it has been my observation that while travel teams were once the realm of competitive players only, they are pretty much becoming the norm for even the weak players. Partly this is because recreational leagues have bailed on the whole notion of teaching the game in favor of having their coaches behave more like Barney the Purple Dinosaur, so that families are forced to look elsewhere to get even a rudimentary baseball experience. Partly it's because among the competitive boomer parents, there seems to be a mindset now that Little Johnny HAS to play travel ball to prove that he is as good as anybody out there. And partly it's because of the prevalent phenomenon of the player or dad who gets miffed and decides to show everyone by starting his own team, times a million.

The result of all this is that a lot of these travel teams are little more than glorified rec ball teams. And trying to make your current roster into a bunch of killers is a "silk purse out of sow's ear" situation.

There are always going to be teams who do collect only the best players and who play pedal to the metal baseball. It sounds like you need to find one of those teams, instead of the one you're on.

But be forewarned, if your son has developed a reputation for being a bad teammate, and if the parents have a reputation for being enablers of his bad behavior, when you find that team, they may not want you. So, first things first, clean up his act, and hope too much damage hasn't been done already.
Last edited by Midlo Dad
I second Midlo Dad's information and will add a little story of my son. When he was 11, we were in Little League district playoff and starting pitcher was giving up hits. We were going to lose the game, son tells pitcher he was reason team was losing, not that the bats were quiet. That boy's dad is still preaching this story to me and others 7 years later. Now I did not condone this behavior, son was 11, what can one say other than he was wrong. That pitcher is in college and doing quite well, and was drafted out HS. Now fast forward to 2008 and college coach tells a confident who recommended they look at son that he had "bad body language". That one really floored me because son has greatly improved at that point. It has made me be more observant of other players and I will tell you that it is very easy to spot if you know what to look for. Son is on loaded summer team and we have a couple of real "body language types". And heaven forbid hope your son doesn't vent in public.
I am wondering if he shows negative behavior towards his teammates, why the coach has not said something.

Or perhaps he really doesn't show his displeasure, he can deal with it, but dad can't.

I have been posting here for many years, have never read any parent speak out against their sons teammates other players their age as you have in this post.

You made a statment about perhaps the kids of today being lazy and not caring and no work ethic, to me you are a good example of perhaps how the parents of today are and if so am glad I am not there to witness it. If you want or think that everyone is going to be as serious about the game as your son, you will be waiting years before you see that or never. You can't expect others to be like your son or what you think they should be like. CP brought up a good point, there will be times when it's frustrating for a pitcher because his defense didn't back him up, or no run support, and times when you hit a grand slam to help your team but the pitcher just pitched like poop that day. My son is 23, I know it's been frustrating at times pitching your best game and losing, but have never heard him speak out negatively against his teammates on any team and he learned many years ago, you can't be a one man band in this game. This is another part of the game one has to accept, or don't play.

I suggest you do find a better older team for your son, since you think he is beter than everyone else at his age, but you won't find things much different. There will still be errors, mostly mental, and I am sure your son will make some of them.

FWIW, if he is really showing this behavior towards his teammates, better clean it up fast, a college coach or scout gets a whiff of that and he is scratched off the list. As yor son gets older, it's about showing NO emotion in those situations, in any situation, that's noticed, don't think because your son acts like he cares more he will be more attractive to those who wish for him to play for him. You can be very competitive but keep it under control.
Last edited by TPM
raindelay

At the age you son is reaching you just do not "place" him on a team---it is about skill, tryouts and invites from here on in for the top level teams

TPM

I do not think there is anything wrong with showing emotion on the field as long as it is controlled--college coaches and scouts like to see emotion
Last edited by TRhit
Bulldog,

One of the great assets of a player, is the ability to block out the negative, especially self inflicted negative. Just because your perception is that the players just shrug off their mistakes, doesn't mean they don't take them seriously. It's their job to shrug them off...there's another pitch coming in a couple of seconds. If they couldn't or didn't let them pass quickly, that would be more harmful to the team.
Last edited by CPLZ
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
TPM

I do not think there is anything wrong with showing emotion on the field as long as it is controlled--college coaches and scouts like to see emotion


This is about showing negative emotion when your team mates make a mistake. I repeat you show NO emotion in those situations, or any situation that involves your displeasure with your team.

College coaches like to see that? I don't think so.
My son is also a pitcher and has been faced with giving up unearned runs due to errors. He would never say anything bad about a teammate. We have talked after games on the way home Nd I may mention that such and such a play should have been made and he just kind of says he knows. But he would never bring it up and complain. I told him not long ago that something he needs to work on is preventing unearned runs from scoring. Guy gets on on an error, he really needs to work harder to keep that run from scoring. He agreed.

Errors are going to happen. Period. As a pitcher, how do you respond? That is a big, big part of who you are as a ball player. Take responsibility, work harder to get around those mistakes.

We had a kid on one of our teams a few years ago who would throw temper tantrums if things didn't go his way. He would get mad at the umps, his teammates and even himself. Got old quick - we wound up kicking him off the team because he was a cancer. He was a pretty darn good player too. None of the kids or parents complained when we did it. They thought it was long overdue.
Rain Delay,

Tell your son to just play the game and to enjoy the game.
Thats all.

Just play the game - hard.

He doesnt need to worry about the other players performance and he doesnt have to worry about what non-players (other than his coaches) say about him.

He has no control over that. Its a waste of time to spend even one second thinking about it.

He just has to play the game the way he wants to play the game. He has control over that.

Thats all he has to do. At 14 years old - its time to start understanding that - IMO.

Good luck.
Last edited by itsinthegame

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