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Sons teammates (not all) are drinking and chewing and get this with the coaches sons knowlegde (he's helping Daddy coach). Some have even come to practice hung over. My son is being harressed by some as to why he doesn't drink & chew. IHSA rules and school rules are very clear on this issue as is the law.

As a parent what do you?
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Change schools.
Do not pass Go.
Do Not Collect $200 dollars.

It is not worth being a martyr in pursuit of the moral high ground.

If the IHSA has a transfer penalty, you may be forced to name names and point fingers with proof.

If you bite the bullet and stay, your son becomes guilty by association with the program and the actions of its members and coaches.
Look at this as a great opportunity to handle "the situation".. No matter where he plays I'll bet he will be faced with some type of a "morality" issue. Learning how to handle these situations is much more important and effective than running away from them. Some even look at the "designated driver" as a very important person in today's society.
If nobody says something then how do you create a change in their behavior? Wait for them to get caught? What if they get caught by driving their car into another car while drunk?

Those who stand idly by are condoning by omission. If you're afraid of losing them as friends because you tell on them then were they really a friend anyway?

Say something to them first that you don't appreciate their behavior. Be nice and polite not accusatory or attacking and explain why being part of the team gives you the right to say something to them. If they don't listen then have the player go to the coach. If nothing still happens then you know what type of character of the program.
Sounds like a good prep for him in college.

Let him know that if the kids at his school aren't serious enough about the game to avoid doing stuff like that then to hell with them.

He can be the role model. They may think he is lame now but in a few years, when he has that scholarship and is still playing ball it will be worth it. Those other kids may be doing what they think is fun now but they won't enjoy it so much when they go to work at Bo's Tire Barn.
Drinking and drug use are common team problems, just as they are common problems throughout the high school and college years for students irrespective of their baseball involvement.

The reality is, the abusing players drag the team down in the name of fitting in socially.

The other reality is, that is not an excuse for your son to join in.

If he finds allies, they might be able to turn the ship around. If not, then he has to content himself with keeping his own house in order with an eye towards his own morality and his own future. I wish I could say this always has a happy ending but the best I can say is that it does eventually end, so he has to prepare himself for the next stage of his life.

All of us confront peer pressure to do the wrong thing at multiple times of our lives. We all hope our kids won't have to face these problems but in truth, facing them and making the right choices is part of growing up to be a solid adult. I wish your son's team a great turnaround and lots of success, but remind him that if it doesn't happen, someday the losing seasons will be a distant memory, the loser teammates will be long out of his life, but the benefits of his sound decisions will remain with him forever.
quote:
Originally posted by coach2709:
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Edmund Burke


Yea, but...

These days, with every cell phone having a camera, all a kid needs to do is be in the wrong place at the wrong time when someone takes a photo that happens to have them and booze in the same shot...they don't have to consume it, touch it or even know it was there...it can still get them kicked off a team for the season...This per my son's AD who has seen it happen here...

So, your son could still make the right choices and have a problem, BUT - right choices are the start!
I was in HS in the early 80's, graduating in 1984. I knew of a few kids that were dipping on our baseball team, but it wasn't too widespread. I noticed many more kids on the wrestling team trying to make, or maintain weight back then dipping quite often at school.

Fastforward to my freshmen year in college, and probably 75% of the players were chewing or dipping. My two college roommates did the copenhagen thing, and I really had to pay attention to what cups I was drinking out of during that time period...believe me, mistakes were made every so often, and it wasn't a pretty sight! Like many of the guys, I tried it a few times, but never took a liking to it! In a game against Pasadena CC I was on the bench charting pitches and had just put a little Red Man in my mouth, when our clean up hitter got plunked! He had gone yard the AB before, so he decided to charge the mound! Of course, being a good teammate I left the dugout and joined in the fun. Unfortunately, I swallowed my chew and ended up spending a few minutes behind the dugout after the brawl on the field, losing the Red Man and everything else I had eaten that day! Needless to say, I think that was the last time I ever chewed!

On a serious note, I just found out a few weeks ago that my son and a number of his teammates are chewing. I've known for quite sometime that a few of his friends were doing it, but I didn't know my kid had taken up the habit six months ago? I sat him down and had a good talk. We went on the internet, and there was plenty of information on various mouth cancer, and plenty of pictures to back it up. And, not as if I needed any other ammunition, one of my college roommates/teammates (copenhagen since age 16) had to have surgery a couple of years ago to remove a cancerous tumor in his mouth that was caused by his habit!

We see plenty of negative commercials on smoking, perhaps we need to see a few regarding other tobacco products too? Our kids have not been sufficently warned of the effects that chew can have. My son had stated that he was only chewing a couple days a week, and that he didn't think there was any harm? I said, if that was the case, we would never see the occasional smoker with lung cancer, unfortunately we do see it.

As for the original poster, kids were drinking and chewing in HS when I was younger...heck, even when TR was younger. I don't think changing schools will work for him and your family, it's obviously going on at other schools. Hopefully he'll make good decisions and do the right thing!
I believe the original poster has a minor concern given chew is illegal and one of the coaches is turning his back to the situation. But the best thing to do as a player is stay away from the problem and let it become the school's problem.

On a chew note, the last time I chewed was after crashing an outfield fence and swallowing the chew. I had to leave the game I got so sick.

One time I was the on deck hitter when a teammate collided with the catcher on a play at the plate. He laid there after the play. I leaned over him to see if he was ok. He requested being left there to die because he swallowed the chew.

Back when I chewed we didn't know how bad it was for us. I can't imagine why anyone would now chew with the available knowledge.

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