Skip to main content

I spent this last weekend coaching my daughter's team in an indoor tournament. I found myself thinking a lot about some things I issued to my parents about "that dad." For example, one dad had to tell everyone around about the stats of his daughter and her perfect game. This game was a couple of years ago. No matter when we played, I just kept running in to him. I sat there, not knowing this dad but thinking about "that dad." Then, I ran upon an old friend. It was good to see him and his girl. I asked how they were and he was pleasant enough but wanted to talk hunting, fishing, old times... To be honest, I love talking to him. Again, I did a lot of thinking about "that dad." I think that the attitude of the girls were also reflected in "that dad." The one girl was out there drawing attention to herself while the other one was focused, pleasant but there on a mission. In all fairness, I don't know the one at all and so perhaps this was out of character but I don't think so. Well long story short, we did pretty good and so, when we were eliminated the Tournament Director came over to me and my girl and complimented us for the showing. My daughter commented on how good her team mates did in the tournament praising them. I hope that is because ...

Please note, I could have just as easily made this "that Mom" but that wasn't the real life experience of this weekend. To be sure my Wife has a lot better influence on my daughter than I.

"Failure depends upon people who say I can't."  - my dad's quote July 1st, 2021.  CoachB25 = Cannonball for other sites.

Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

i think,or i should say i like to think that at one time or other we all were some what like that dad.looking back i know i had my moments. i found the better my son's did the less i talked about them. people knew what they had done without me telling them. luckily both boy's are very humble, they would rather talk up the team.
i'm reluctant to brag even today, instead i ask about their player. let them share their moment. unless your a topper. Smile
Last edited by 20dad
quote:
i think,or i should say i like to think that at one time or other we all were some what like that dad.looking back i know i had my moments. i found the better my son's did the less i talked about them. people knew what they had done without me telling them. luckily both boy's are very humble, they would rather talk up the team

I agree with 20DAD, perform well on the field and you nor your son will have to brag about his accomplishments.
Told this to my son years ago when I heard him and other kids bragging to each other. Produce and people will notice, whether it is other kids, parents, coaches, or as they get older, scouts.

CoachB25, "that dad" probably was trying to run into you to continue his agenda.
It is very kind of you to title this post "That Dad," implying that we moms are somehow immune from this disease. I've known several who would not stop talking about how great their kids were in absolutely everything they do.

The irony, I've found, is the parents of the really stellar baseball players rarely brag about them at all. You go up to them after the game and say how great Chris pitched; they just smile and maybe say "he's been working really hard," but most often turn it back and tell you what a great play your son made at short, or if he didn't have a good game, that the error was so unlike him and is he feeling okay?

LHPMom
Don’t forget about the “ask them so they ask us parent.” They ask you how your son is doing and then after a six or seven word reply you are subjected to a ten minute detailed choreography of their son’s history.

Then there is the guy who knows everything about everyone in the entire state. He is the expert on this team and that team and on predicting performance of various athletes at the high school, college and pro level. Beware when two of these types are in the same vicinity of you at the same time, the one-upmanship will give you a headache for sure.

Then there is the return parent. The ones who come back to the recreational park and high school that their son starred at, and wait for opportunities to gush on how their son is doing at the next level. This is specifically so in high school if their kid is playing at a far away college, they will want to make sure they keep you posted on his success.

I don’t think this type of behavior is limited to sports though, I believe it is human nature. Most people want to talk about themselves. However, the person with the most friends is usually the person who will listen to everyone, ask questions and really be concerned about other’s welfare. Take note of the most popular parents on your teams, are they the ones who talk about themselves or ask and show genuine concern?

I confess being guilty to some of this behavior at times, but I don’t like it when I do, and I try to catch myself by asking others how they are doing. It usually saves me from having to think too much about what I said and who I said it to.
The perception of bragging can be misconstrude at times. I also catch myself, even on this site saying "My kid this or my kid that" when the intent is not to brag, but rather to send a message, example, or experience to the listener/reader.

Bottom line is I'd rather hear a parent brag a kid up than ignore the fact the kid even exists. Sports, academics, or any other facet in life that involves an accomplishment should be recognized to some extent. Most can be gracious in their delivery, some not so, but at least there is recognition attached, and as listeners/readers we absorb what we want and shet-can the rest.
Last edited by rz1
LHPMom, et. al. As noted, in the opening of this thread I recognized that I'm sure that in other times it could be, "That Mom." It wasn't a sexist slant at all but rather a commentary of a very strange weekend with regards to this "that dad." I too have been guilty. I think that we all have found times when we should have worried that patting ourselves on the back was very close to breaking our arm. Still, in running into an old friend who's child is very gifted, I found the diversity interesting. From there, I noticed how my child reacted when the tournament director came up. I was very proud of her. Those are all moments I think most of us have had with our kids. I sure hope to have more. Moments when you sit back and realize just how much our kids have grown up and how they represent all of us as families. That was as much the point as anything else.
Kids know it too. The other night after the coach's kickoff parent meeting, I was talking to one of the dad's I knew from years ago. I was telling him I thought the team would be good, but didn't know anything about the pitching. He then explained how great the pitching staff was..his son being one of the key pitchers (he's new to the school). I was telling my son that without naming names or giving away the kid and he laughed, telling me exactly who it was...because the kid is as arrogant as the dad. Big Grin
Coach,

I think you are spot on. As a parent, when I'm around my son and he is interacting with a stranger, a teammate, a relative etc...and he is receiving praise, getting instructions or being chewed on, I do sit back and see how he represents his family. I want to know if what I thought I taught him "I did".
I want to see as a young adult if he is prepared to handle any situation that arises. I do want to know if he is a positive reflection of his upbringing and if he is ready to represent the family. These are questions that my wife and I have asked ourselves on many occasions. Smile
i've def found throughout the years the more successful our son has become, the less we have talked about him....and the more grounded we've tried to insure he becomes.

he's learned to do the same....after a very successful summer season last year, he started to get alot of attention from colleges and scouts. when kids from his school found out, some were supportive, but some were quick to make snide comments.....he learned quickly to tighten his circle of trust!!!!
quote:
Originally posted by L8 Breaking:
i've def found throughout the years the more successful our son has become, the less we have talked about him....and the more grounded we've tried to insure he becomes.

he's learned to do the same....after a very successful summer season last year, he started to get alot of attention from colleges and scouts. when kids from his school found out, some were supportive, but some were quick to make snide comments.....he learned quickly to tighten his circle of trust!!!!

This is all 100% true unfortunately. What I have found in general (not always) is the better the player, the less the parent needs to hype them. All of my favorite posters here on the hsbbweb are like that. You couldn't tell most of the time what their kid's accomplishments were unless someone else talked about them. Again, welcome to the hsbbweb!
quote:
Originally posted by Kokomojo:

Then there is the return parent. The ones who come back to the recreational park and high school that their son starred at, and wait for opportunities to gush on how their son is doing at the next level. This is specifically so in high school if their kid is playing at a far away college, they will want to make sure they keep you posted on his success.


I was really looking forward to going back to watch the HS team a few games this year. Maybe I ought to rethink that?
quote:
Originally posted by jerseydad:
quote:
Originally posted by Kokomojo:

Then there is the return parent. The ones who come back to the recreational park and high school that their son starred at, and wait for opportunities to gush on how their son is doing at the next level. This is specifically so in high school if their kid is playing at a far away college, they will want to make sure they keep you posted on his success.

I was really looking forward to going back to watch the HS team a few games this year. Maybe I ought to rethink that?

This is probably a standalone topic. I would never feel guilty about going back and watching the high school team play because obviously, everyone's sons played with those kids who were underclassmen at the time. As far as gushing or bragging or shouting or telling, I say keep that stuff to yourself. Why does it matter to anyone else what some kid is doing at the next level? People are at the high school games to enjoy their own kids. Let them enjoy it. If your son is succeeding at the next level, that really ought to be good enough on its own merits - whether anyone else recognizes it or not. If someone politely enquires, then tell them but be humble about it imho. The ride can end in a heart beat.
Last edited by ClevelandDad
quote:
Originally posted by jerseydad:
I was really looking forward to going back to watch the HS team a few games this year. Maybe I ought to rethink that?


Go back! Many people do want to know what is out there waiting for their kids. We had several parents show up last year after their kids moved on to play in college. We loved talking to them and finding out what is out there waiting for our kid. There is a big difference between the parent that is boorish and the one that enjoys the game and wants to come and watch. BIG DIFFERENCE!
There is a baseball disease that can be catchy at times.
It comes out of nowhere, deep from within.
Its a guttering sound that will come pouring out, with nothing the unfortunate victim can do but let it get out. Our blow up?

This disease has a name, It's called.

BLURTIDUSE.

It's not as rare as one might seem.
It can effect many and can be contagious.

It seems to effect mostly the male population,
But at times will flair up in the Female population.

Nothing to do after that. but leave the ball park??

EH

Add Reply

Post
.
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×