2seamer
I think your shorts are too tight
2Seamer I understand your Passion about this subject.
But I have to agree with TR hear.
Andy, Jason, Bourne, Frank Martin. Will start very good post's on current and past sensitive and Negitive sport's subject's.
But will not Communicate his own thought's on the subject.
But then will add more article's to the same post.
Andy, speak your own mind sometime's.
That is just stirring the pot sometime's, and I and other's don't need anymore help on that.
We do well enough on are own. LOL
EH
But I have to agree with TR hear.
Andy, Jason, Bourne, Frank Martin. Will start very good post's on current and past sensitive and Negitive sport's subject's.
But will not Communicate his own thought's on the subject.
But then will add more article's to the same post.
Andy, speak your own mind sometime's.
That is just stirring the pot sometime's, and I and other's don't need anymore help on that.
We do well enough on are own. LOL
EH
"It may seem repititious to some, but I for one, have been enlightened with this post."
Count me as another who appreciated this terrifying and heartbreaking thread. I really wasn't aware of Jeff's story and it gave me an opportunity to talk to my son about consequences in a way that (finally) connected to him and his life. I hope this will be the first thing he thinks about when someone offers him drugs.
IMO Jeff has become a case of "sometimes your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others." I sincerely pray that he finds a better purpose in the future.
Count me as another who appreciated this terrifying and heartbreaking thread. I really wasn't aware of Jeff's story and it gave me an opportunity to talk to my son about consequences in a way that (finally) connected to him and his life. I hope this will be the first thing he thinks about when someone offers him drugs.
IMO Jeff has become a case of "sometimes your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others." I sincerely pray that he finds a better purpose in the future.
TR, my shorts are just fine. In the true holiday spirit, I'll cut you a break on a return insult. By the way, just keep in mind that Oxy and heroin use is climbing in Connecticut. When it affects someone you know, I'll promise not to say "I told you so".
EH, I know Andy/Jason/Frank and his other assorted multiple personalities can be a pain. I honestly don't think he contributes his own thoughts to subjects because he may not have that capability.
He does mix in some good links along with the other assorted pablum he posts, so he can be useful.
Like I said, there are a lot of people visiting here that have likely never heard of Hamilton or Allison, or the problems they may have had. And while Andy/Jason/Frank/? seemed to have a stalker fascination with Hamilton a few years ago, his updates at least point out that it doesn't matter how All-American a kid may seem, or how protective his parents may be, it's still possible for a kid to fall to addiction.
EH, I know Andy/Jason/Frank and his other assorted multiple personalities can be a pain. I honestly don't think he contributes his own thoughts to subjects because he may not have that capability.
He does mix in some good links along with the other assorted pablum he posts, so he can be useful.
Like I said, there are a lot of people visiting here that have likely never heard of Hamilton or Allison, or the problems they may have had. And while Andy/Jason/Frank/? seemed to have a stalker fascination with Hamilton a few years ago, his updates at least point out that it doesn't matter how All-American a kid may seem, or how protective his parents may be, it's still possible for a kid to fall to addiction.
Personal insults TR are nasty and unconstructive.
Can we keep this civil? Its a new year,..lets at least start the year out with compassion.
Throwing a subject out to the masses doesnt mean one has to comment on it. If it provokes thought and emotions, thats a good thing IMO. If it annoys, please feel free to not judge, but simply skip it and move on.
Can we keep this civil? Its a new year,..lets at least start the year out with compassion.
Throwing a subject out to the masses doesnt mean one has to comment on it. If it provokes thought and emotions, thats a good thing IMO. If it annoys, please feel free to not judge, but simply skip it and move on.
To All
Look at the posts previous-- all I asked from Frank/Andy and all his suedo names is to leave it alone---The Allison kid does not need a person like Andy continually dredging up the "dirt" on him---then all of asudden I am the "bad guy"-- so be it--folks look in your own town and you see the same thing but their names are not dredged up on a regular basis
I am sorry if any of you are offended by my stance but that is just too badd---it is what it is and will remain as such---how do you respect a poster who uses so many ID's after being banned on a site?--
mom---compassion for whom---- Frank Martin et al---you must be kidding---
Look at the posts previous-- all I asked from Frank/Andy and all his suedo names is to leave it alone---The Allison kid does not need a person like Andy continually dredging up the "dirt" on him---then all of asudden I am the "bad guy"-- so be it--folks look in your own town and you see the same thing but their names are not dredged up on a regular basis
I am sorry if any of you are offended by my stance but that is just too badd---it is what it is and will remain as such---how do you respect a poster who uses so many ID's after being banned on a site?--
mom---compassion for whom---- Frank Martin et al---you must be kidding---
Ohhh goood Lord,.....
Lets get back to the subject matter.
We can always annoy, provoke, and insult each other privately through pm's! ha!
I suggest we keep the board, civil for the masses.
Lets get back to the subject matter.
We can always annoy, provoke, and insult each other privately through pm's! ha!
I suggest we keep the board, civil for the masses.
Sensitive subject's stir emotion.
That's why no politic's are allowed on the board.
This subject of Drug use and are abuse is one of the most sensitive subject that we all can relate to.
We have all had someone a Family Member, A Friend, A co-worker, Are Self's.
That have fallen pray to Drug's, Alcohol at some point in time are another. You Dig your self out are you die, simple as that.
I lost my best friend to Drug abuse.
We are all responsible for are own action's.
And nobody can help you but yourself.
You have to want to take control of your life, Instead of it taking control of you.
There's no magic wand are word's of advice that will help.
The user just has to stop.
I know you don't think it's that easy.
But that's what has to be done. Plain and simple.
EH
That's why no politic's are allowed on the board.
This subject of Drug use and are abuse is one of the most sensitive subject that we all can relate to.
We have all had someone a Family Member, A Friend, A co-worker, Are Self's.
That have fallen pray to Drug's, Alcohol at some point in time are another. You Dig your self out are you die, simple as that.
I lost my best friend to Drug abuse.
We are all responsible for are own action's.
And nobody can help you but yourself.
You have to want to take control of your life, Instead of it taking control of you.
There's no magic wand are word's of advice that will help.
The user just has to stop.
I know you don't think it's that easy.
But that's what has to be done. Plain and simple.
EH
Messenger shooting......When did that become effective?
I read this thread with a little more interest and concern than I perhaps might have even one year ago....
As luvbb says, "There but for the grace of God go I".....
Drug abuse of all kinds is a huge problem and getting worse.
Knowledge is power. The more you know the more you can be aware and the more you are aware the more helpful you can be....
I agree with theEH that it is up to the user to help him/herself. But they may need help and/or support to fight their demons, whatever they are. The more we read about situations like this, the more we can help and support them.
And pray.
As luvbb says, "There but for the grace of God go I".....
Drug abuse of all kinds is a huge problem and getting worse.
Knowledge is power. The more you know the more you can be aware and the more you are aware the more helpful you can be....
I agree with theEH that it is up to the user to help him/herself. But they may need help and/or support to fight their demons, whatever they are. The more we read about situations like this, the more we can help and support them.
And pray.
Talking with your kids about drugs
http://www.talkingwithkids.org/drugs.html
You Suspect Your Child Has_a Drug_Problem
http://www.drugfree.org/Intervention/HelpingOthers/Adul...d_Has_a_Drug_Problem
http://www.talkingwithkids.org/drugs.html
You Suspect Your Child Has_a Drug_Problem
http://www.drugfree.org/Intervention/HelpingOthers/Adul...d_Has_a_Drug_Problem
With the internet, the question of personal privacy comes into play more and more. Also the role of the media. When my son was arrested here in Wisconsin, he became a much better athlete than he ever was in reality as the newspapers and broadcast media sensationalized the story. Has anyone had media trucks camped out in front of your house? Not fun. We live out in the boonies and my house is about 100 yards off the street and I had local anchor persons with camera crews running up my driveway with cameras rolling. It's times like that I wish my dog wasn't such a wuss. All this for a high school kid with a minor scholarship to a NAIA school that hasn't had a winning season in years. Heck, if that college wins or loses a baseball game it's never in the paper or on the TV....ever. The whole incident was exacerbated by the recent deaths by heroin of several high school students in our area. The local DA was also running for state attorney general (he eventually lost) and decided this was another great opportunity to go on camera either for good reasons or selfish...doesn't matter. If you Google my son's name now, the only returns you'll get is him attached to the drug arrest and his subsequent hearings.
Some will say that you lose personal privacy when you commit a crime. I can see their point. But my issue is when does it stop? When do the Google returns go away? It's a constant barrage and it goes beyond just Frank Martin posting stories here. It used to go away to some extent when you threw your newspaper out. Now....a Frank Martin can post it on High School Baseball Web or whereever he wants and perpetuate it. Does the message need a name attached to it or does it have merit on it's own with anonimity?
I chose to share my information now because after reading the original post that became this thread, I felt that at least on this board with so many good people who participate that our story might help someone. I'm past doing spin or damage control, however I am faced at least once a week now with on old friend or not so friendly acquaintance contacting me because they Googled my name and and voila, my youngest son is in trouble.
For skeptics, I am not whining about our plight. I'm just pointing out the reality of today at least as I see it.
Anyway, to all who posted their thoughts, prayers, and intentions to talk to their own children....probably for the upteenth time... :> Thank you from my heart. I've never been much for expressing my deepest feelings, at least in public, but thanks.
Some will say that you lose personal privacy when you commit a crime. I can see their point. But my issue is when does it stop? When do the Google returns go away? It's a constant barrage and it goes beyond just Frank Martin posting stories here. It used to go away to some extent when you threw your newspaper out. Now....a Frank Martin can post it on High School Baseball Web or whereever he wants and perpetuate it. Does the message need a name attached to it or does it have merit on it's own with anonimity?
I chose to share my information now because after reading the original post that became this thread, I felt that at least on this board with so many good people who participate that our story might help someone. I'm past doing spin or damage control, however I am faced at least once a week now with on old friend or not so friendly acquaintance contacting me because they Googled my name and and voila, my youngest son is in trouble.
For skeptics, I am not whining about our plight. I'm just pointing out the reality of today at least as I see it.
Anyway, to all who posted their thoughts, prayers, and intentions to talk to their own children....probably for the upteenth time... :>
Thank you from my heart. I've never been much for expressing my deepest feelings, at least in public, but thanks.
halfmoon
my tale is the same. if my son hit powerball he wouldn't have recieved as much press. as a matter of fact his brother was drafted and didn't get half as much fan fare. they had two camera crews at a high school game,to get a shot of him. i think we as a society wallow in others misery,maybe we feel better if it's someone else's kid, i don't know.
but you are not alone in this by any stretch. i know the feelings you go through, seem to be endless.they will subside. we go to a family group once a week . i'm a meat and potatoes guy so that worried me at first,i'd never felt the need for that stuff.but it helps talking with parents who have the same problems. i talk with friends but if they haven't been there they don't get it.
my only consolation is my son is in a 6 month rehab. and that's all we can hope for is they get the help they need. as 2 seamer said they will always be an addict but they can be in recovery. maybe this topic shouldn't be here? it is a problem that isn't going away. i feel you have helped some by posting your experience, that can't be all wrong.
keep your chin up, better day's are coming. good luck to you and your son.
my tale is the same. if my son hit powerball he wouldn't have recieved as much press. as a matter of fact his brother was drafted and didn't get half as much fan fare. they had two camera crews at a high school game,to get a shot of him. i think we as a society wallow in others misery,maybe we feel better if it's someone else's kid, i don't know.
but you are not alone in this by any stretch. i know the feelings you go through, seem to be endless.they will subside. we go to a family group once a week . i'm a meat and potatoes guy so that worried me at first,i'd never felt the need for that stuff.but it helps talking with parents who have the same problems. i talk with friends but if they haven't been there they don't get it.
my only consolation is my son is in a 6 month rehab. and that's all we can hope for is they get the help they need. as 2 seamer said they will always be an addict but they can be in recovery. maybe this topic shouldn't be here? it is a problem that isn't going away. i feel you have helped some by posting your experience, that can't be all wrong.
keep your chin up, better day's are coming. good luck to you and your son.
quote:Now....a Frank Martin can post it on High School Baseball Web or whereever he wants and perpetuate it. Does the message need a name attached to it or does it have merit on it's own with anonimity?
I think this was TR's point... not that the issue was being discussed. To have this battle is difficult enough for all involved and to not be able to move beyond the media in some instances doesn't help anyone truly move on with their lives.
Halfmoon and 20Dad - Thanks for both of your posts. While I haven't been there yet - I see the potential in one of mine and it's scary. It does help to hear about others - but you do the best you can, pray and preach - and it can still happen. Short of locking them in their rooms - what can you do. I totally agree that the world is at the point where we take it way to far! Run a story and then they should let it go. They give so much more press for the mud and muck than they ever do for the good stuff. My thanks and prayers to both of you for these 2 good posts. It's time to move on!
Halfmoon, 20dad.
It's from poster's like yourself's that have the Gut's to come out and say there's a problem, And this is how we dealt and or dealing with it.
I know your not looking for sympathy, Just understanding.
I want to thank you for sharing.
I know it won't be easy, But it will work out.
Tell your son's from me to hang in there, it's day to day.
But there's people that care and are praying for them.
God Bless.
EH
It's from poster's like yourself's that have the Gut's to come out and say there's a problem, And this is how we dealt and or dealing with it.
I know your not looking for sympathy, Just understanding.
I want to thank you for sharing.
I know it won't be easy, But it will work out.
Tell your son's from me to hang in there, it's day to day.
But there's people that care and are praying for them.
God Bless.
EH
quote:It's from poster's like yourself's that have the Gut's to come out and say there's a problem, And this is how we dealt and or dealing with it.
I know your not looking for sympathy, Just understanding.
I want to thank you for sharing.
I know it won't be easy, But it will work out.
Tell your son's from me to hang in there, it's day to day.
But there's people that care and are praying for them.
God Bless.
To halfmoon, 20dad, and others,
I wish I was as elequant as the EH, but since I lack those skills, I will simply say I agree completely with the above.
I commend you for sharing with us. I commend you and your sons for working hard through a very difficult time. I thank you for your honesty and I offer you understanding, compassion, & not one ounce of judgement.
I also must thank Halfmoonslider and 20dad for sharing their stories. I cannot imagine how difficult it is. I do know how hard it is just dealing with the stuff of teenagers in my home--in private, just hoping that the neighbors don't hear. I can't even think about how horrible it would be if their antics were in the newspaper, or on tv or the radio, or the internet......
For you to tell us about it is appreciated. I will consider you both differently than I have in the past---I will look at you with the greatest respect and admiration.
My "Every day is Anything Can Happen Day" signature serves to remind ME that anything can happen on any given day --and when one has teenagers, truly, anything can happen every day. It doesn't matter how good of a kid you have, or how smart the kid is---he/she is a teenager, with teenager minds....
Maybe I will change my signature to "There, but for the grace of God, go I"--for that is another little piece of reality.............
I sincerely wish you peace and God's grace to help you through this life-changing event. And I wish the same to those of us who may (or will) be facing the very same--or worse--
"There, but for the Grace of God, go I."
For you to tell us about it is appreciated. I will consider you both differently than I have in the past---I will look at you with the greatest respect and admiration.
My "Every day is Anything Can Happen Day" signature serves to remind ME that anything can happen on any given day --and when one has teenagers, truly, anything can happen every day. It doesn't matter how good of a kid you have, or how smart the kid is---he/she is a teenager, with teenager minds....
Maybe I will change my signature to "There, but for the grace of God, go I"--for that is another little piece of reality.............
I sincerely wish you peace and God's grace to help you through this life-changing event. And I wish the same to those of us who may (or will) be facing the very same--or worse--
"There, but for the Grace of God, go I."
I have followed this thread since the beginning, and refrained from responding to comments who want to call people junkies. Drug/alcohol addiction is a disease.
I can appreciate those of you who have opened up your lives for the rest of us to see, and I have empathy for anyone who has family/friends in situations involving substance abuse/addiction. Every person is somebody's loved one, and we can all only offer prayers and hope, one day at a time, for family members and for others in the headlines.
Everyone can benefit from well wishes.....nobody benefits from negative name calling.
My thoughts and prayers to all who need them!
I can appreciate those of you who have opened up your lives for the rest of us to see, and I have empathy for anyone who has family/friends in situations involving substance abuse/addiction. Every person is somebody's loved one, and we can all only offer prayers and hope, one day at a time, for family members and for others in the headlines.
Everyone can benefit from well wishes.....nobody benefits from negative name calling.
My thoughts and prayers to all who need them!
I wanted to add a word of support to Halfmoon and 20dad - you are walking a tough road right now and I admire you both for having the courage to share your pain publically. Debating about whether or not people with drug/alcohol problems are "junkies" is hardly the point - call it whatever you want, it's a devastating problem for all those who are dealing with it. And I'd be willing to bet there are some who are reading this right now who don't even know how close this problem is to their own family.
Halfmoon, if you're still reading, let me just add this. My son and yours are acquaintances from the world of baseball from many years ago and enough kids at his high school still know your son that when he was arrested it was "news" that was passed around. When my son told me, as a mom I was stunned, shocked, floored... you name it. Your son could have been my son - great kid, above average athlete, planning for college, hoping to play baseball at the next level. However - and this is the part I hope EVERY parent will read - when I asked my son if he was shocked he said "no". That was not a reflection on your son, as our boys haven't moved in the same circles for many years, so he had no real idea what kind of person your son had become. What it represented was a peek into the teenage world from his perspective... what he told me was "Mom, it's everybody, everywhere. If you knew everyone who was involved in this stuff you'd never let me out of the house." How did this happen to our "Just say no" DARE generation? My kids have been exposed to more illegal drugs ALREADY than I have ever in my whole life. My son tells me that he could get whatever he wanted whenever he wanted without going to a whole lot of trouble. That's scary, but that's what parents have to know and deal with, because it's real.
We proceded to have many, many long hard conversations with him and his younger brother about drugs, alcohol, friends, pressure, goals, choices, *** (they liked that topic best!)... all things we'd discussed before, but now with OUR eyes wide open to the fact that we just might learn more from the conversation than they did.
So what makes my son different from yours? I haven't got a clue... personality trait? peer group? opportunity? brain that functions differently? I wish I knew, and I'm sure you do, too. But what I do believe is that you didn't do anything wrong as parents - you loved your son, supported him, encouraged him, disciplined him, supported him some more... and now you're standing by him as he grows up really fast and really hard. You're a good dad, even with a broken heart.
You said something that I was hoping you might elaborate on - you said you didn't see the signs, but that if you had looked closer you would have. Would you mind talking about what some of those signs are that you now know you missed - I know it would be helpful to me and maybe also to others. We practice all the usual stuff - know where they're going and who they're going with, know who their friends are, communicate with other parents about parties, wait up and look 'em over good when they come home, keep track of how much money passes through their hands... could we still be missing something?
Thanks again for being so open with your personal life. When you said "this has taken the starch right out of me" it was as if I could feel exactly what you're feeling. Life is a humbling business. We've thought about your family alot in the past year and prayed that through all this you'll find strength and peace. Your son is still one of the lucky ones - he made some bad choices, but he's still alive to get another chance.
Halfmoon, if you're still reading, let me just add this. My son and yours are acquaintances from the world of baseball from many years ago and enough kids at his high school still know your son that when he was arrested it was "news" that was passed around. When my son told me, as a mom I was stunned, shocked, floored... you name it. Your son could have been my son - great kid, above average athlete, planning for college, hoping to play baseball at the next level. However - and this is the part I hope EVERY parent will read - when I asked my son if he was shocked he said "no". That was not a reflection on your son, as our boys haven't moved in the same circles for many years, so he had no real idea what kind of person your son had become. What it represented was a peek into the teenage world from his perspective... what he told me was "Mom, it's everybody, everywhere. If you knew everyone who was involved in this stuff you'd never let me out of the house." How did this happen to our "Just say no" DARE generation? My kids have been exposed to more illegal drugs ALREADY than I have ever in my whole life. My son tells me that he could get whatever he wanted whenever he wanted without going to a whole lot of trouble. That's scary, but that's what parents have to know and deal with, because it's real.
We proceded to have many, many long hard conversations with him and his younger brother about drugs, alcohol, friends, pressure, goals, choices, *** (they liked that topic best!)... all things we'd discussed before, but now with OUR eyes wide open to the fact that we just might learn more from the conversation than they did.
So what makes my son different from yours? I haven't got a clue... personality trait? peer group? opportunity? brain that functions differently? I wish I knew, and I'm sure you do, too. But what I do believe is that you didn't do anything wrong as parents - you loved your son, supported him, encouraged him, disciplined him, supported him some more... and now you're standing by him as he grows up really fast and really hard. You're a good dad, even with a broken heart.
You said something that I was hoping you might elaborate on - you said you didn't see the signs, but that if you had looked closer you would have. Would you mind talking about what some of those signs are that you now know you missed - I know it would be helpful to me and maybe also to others. We practice all the usual stuff - know where they're going and who they're going with, know who their friends are, communicate with other parents about parties, wait up and look 'em over good when they come home, keep track of how much money passes through their hands... could we still be missing something?
Thanks again for being so open with your personal life. When you said "this has taken the starch right out of me" it was as if I could feel exactly what you're feeling. Life is a humbling business. We've thought about your family alot in the past year and prayed that through all this you'll find strength and peace. Your son is still one of the lucky ones - he made some bad choices, but he's still alive to get another chance.