The dream is free. Work ethic not included.

Who cares?

Is she happy? Does she like the school she chose? Is she on pace to graduate on time?  Are her grades good enough to get her to where she wants to go? Did she have summer jobs which forward her goal of finding a field she likes? Does she have friends? Is it a diverse group of friends? Is she breaking out of her preconceived bubble? Does she read? Can she think critically?

To me these are the critical questions in measuring a successful college experience.

Maybe she prefers to study, feed the homeless, learn modern dance, or take advantage of all the other opportunities which she had never even conceived existed until she got to campus.

There is no singular right way to go to college.  The goal is to grow into adulthood - and there are many alternative paths than athletics.

I don't know.  But I suspect that D3 programs and D3 players vary quite a lot in their  intensity and dedication.  There are D3 baseball programs that take wining the conference, going to the regionals, reaching the D3 world series as annual do or die goals.  And then, I suspect, there are those where winning isn't close to be everything.  

My son's school is on the super duper intense side.   Coaches are always pushing players to get better.  Players are pushing each other.  It's an intensely competitive rather cutthroat environment. 

He clearly wishes it was a little less so.  Indeed, there is a certain very academically demanding school in his conference that is the perennial doormat of the conference.  He says that he bets those guys have more flat out fun, despite always losing,  than guys in his program.  They've got no expectations.  Any win is a bonus.  They get to play the game they love in college.  And they don't have to sweat all that much over it.  And they get a world class education in the bargain.

Goosegg posted:

Who cares?

Is she happy? Does she like the school she chose? Is she on pace to graduate on time?  Are her grades good enough to get her to where she wants to go? Did she have summer jobs which forward her goal of finding a field she likes? Does she have friends? Is it a diverse group of friends? Is she breaking out of her preconceived bubble? Does she read? Can she think critically?

To me these are the critical questions in measuring a successful college experience.

Maybe she prefers to study, feed the homeless, learn modern dance, or take advantage of all the other opportunities which she had never even conceived existed until she got to campus.

There is no singular right way to go to college.  The goal is to grow into adulthood - and there are many alternative paths than athletics.

I agree with what you've posted. But why play if you don't want to put in the effort to improve? That's what intramurals are for. She claims she chose the program because the coach was going to make them competitive. Doesn't that require each player to do their part?

I have a different make up. I can't do anything I'm not putting in max effort to succeed. Even now when I should be able to say "Who cares" I don't find "That's a good score for someone who doesn't golf regularly" as a compliment.

At 61 I'm out biking every day it doesn't rain. There's a game I'm competing in. It's called, "I'll be damned if I can't fit into a 34 waist." 

For women, there is no real professional athletics in field hockey after college; for guys in baseball, there is an entire industry devoted to that dream. For guys there are multitudes of summer leagues - with a fairly recognizable hierarchy - fully scouted by proball; not so for women.

So motivations are different. And, life also intervenes and priorities change.  If grades are affected by practices, and if grades are important for the next step in life, and if a kid isn't starting and has no hope of starting or playing in a meaningful way, what's the point? Playing out the string doesn't get the kid closer to the goal, and indeed may even preclude getting a shot at the goal.

I guess my point is there are so many variables it's too hard to determine from the initial story whether the kid is a "quitter" or smart for reordering her personal priorities. If she's sitting at home eating Bon-bons, while playing COD endlessly, and skipping class as well as not pursuing athletics, that is a different story from the kid who chose to focus on Organic Chemsitry to get into medical school and needed to drop athletics after her athletic competitive fire was extinguished.

My daughter played college softball. She was a 4th outfielder for four years. Between starting mid week and often Sunday plus pinch hitting, pinch running and being a defensive replacement she played 45-50 games per season. She knew it was all over when she graduated. 

She worked hard to be the best player she could be. She studied hard and graduated PBK. She did community work. There's room to do it all. She wanted to be a winner in everything she did. When she graduated from law school she said the will to be the best possible player, the disciple to do it and the time management skills helped her to become one of the top students in her class. Plus she was on the Law Review.

There may be pro baseball but a strong majority of males aren't going pro. What should they care about their skill level? They do.

I'll never understand an athlete putting in the time during the season and not putting the necessary extra time to be the best player possible. It's a matter of pride.

RJM posted:

My daughter played college softball. She was a 4th outfielder for four years. Between starting mid week and often Sunday plus pinch hitting, pinch running and being a defensive replacement she played 45-50 games per season. She knew it was all over when she graduated. 

She worked hard to be the best player she could be. She studied hard and graduated PBK. She did community work. There's room to do it all. She wanted to be a winner in everything she did. When she graduated from law school she said the will to be the best possible player, the disciple to do it and the time management skills helped her to become one of the top students in her class. Plus she was on the Law Review.

There may be pro baseball but a strong majority of males aren't going pro. What should they care about their skill level? They do.

I'll never understand an athlete putting in the time during the season and not putting the necessary extra time to be the best player possible. It's a matter of pride.

 

It would be a matter of pride for YOU, it would be a matter of pride for ME, it is not a matter of pride for most people sadly.

My sons football coach tweeted a great saying yesterday, "Everyone wants to eat, but few are willing to hunt."

Many call themselves athletes, but few do what it takes to BE an athlete...and that just is what it is.