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Iheartbb...
First, thnak you for your presence here...you are always on the up...and it has been noted and appreciated.
I echo our esteemed coach May...hard to find the right words...particularly in this type of abrupt circumstances...and didn’t really find them...but felt it was important to respond...
Having been down this road recently I have a few observations that may be of some help /interest if not, then take them as simple empathy. The first part has to be obvious concern for your son, how he handles it, what suggestions and help you might give...Making sure that he is feeling clearly supported and loved in this time of challenge and change
The second part is the parental experience. At the risk of being really melodramatic, baseball is. or has, become life for most of us and as such, this is real milestone for those of us who have been at it for a such an extended period of time. We all talk about this day, we all know it is coming, but I can tell you from experience that this stuff cuts deep...and I worked hard from day 1 to minimize the shock…and worked to be ready for the end. We can make every intellectual effort to understand the fleeting nature of the baseball endeavor at this level, the process, the inevitable fact that the journey will end, to recognize the clear, definitive and certain nature the numbers game. We can recognize the danger of a complete emotional buy in...and so leave most all of it to our son...and sit beyond the outfield wall…and never talk to the coach…and don’t wear team gear...and avoid gossip…and the speculation...and fail to “dream the dream”...and seemingly and smugly manage to keep the process at arms length, but only when it ends do we realize that there was no chance...we were
still bought in and that there was no hope of emotional distance. The fact is that we as human beings seek naturally and unconsciously to find a toehold in the chaos and competition that is our world…like it or not we find an emotional slot and we cling to it...it gives us comfort and meaning and a “home” for ourselves...and as such we take on that slot as an identity. For our sons that slot is athlete and ballplayer. And for a long time (more than a decade for many)...we have walked this world as a baseball parent…and we get to be really good at it and we take great pride in it…and we care…and most of us become the ultimate team player...we sacrifice for the “team” good. Now that life slot changes and part of that is a grieving period for what once was, and what might have been for our son’s but frankly also for us. Yes grieving for such things is not overly melodramatic...it’s natural, it hurts badly, and you have to weather it.
I can assure you that beyond lies something different but something good for you and your son that you cannot at this point foresee, the same way that the baseball journey you have been on was far beyond your ability to predict. Certainly your role as parent will never change, but it shifts to much less active phase and baseball is an amazing connector...and the level of drama changes. And you have all kinds of new space and you have to figure out who goes into that empty. You can fill that empty long term with sadness, with bitter, with the past, or move on, open and ready to embrace the next adventure. Bon Voyage!
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