Tips for the Parents of a Freshman heading off soon.

cv.....My biggest piece of advice would be to ignore the comments of parents who are always negative, support your son, support his coaches, and let them coach!!

Good luck!!

Start saving up some money for that category called "spending money". It was good to be able to transfer money into his account from my computer. I just have his account number, not his balance.

Be flexible. There is always something unexpected.

One more thing, start at the beginning of his academic career and keep close tabs on classes. It was good to always know what he needed to fulfill his degree, and sometimes it happens that advisors aren't as sharp as they need to be. Keep that degree requirement sheet handy, and consult that every semester.

If you son is playing baseball there have the coach assist you to make sure your sons schedule fits the baseball needs

CV,
The best tip I can give is for you to understand that it will be a difficult time for both of you to learn to let go. In the beginning we didn't hear much from DK. He was really busy between classes, workout, field, study hall, trying to adjust to college life he had no time to call, or if he did he was too tired. There were times when he felt overwhelmed, when he called we listened. He was homesick. The other times he called unexpectedly was when he couldn't get money out of the ATM, or should he use the credit side or the debit side. Or should he use hot or cold for whites, does he seperate the laundry. We put him on a budget so we didn't get the call every week for more money.
By the time he came home for a month for Christmas, we were looking forward to him leaving. One, because I hated waiting up at night, two, because we knew when he got back the season would begin shortly.
We didn't know how we would survive without baseball, being so far away. However I can tell you for the past 4 months we have heard and seen more baseball than I can imagine. 5 nights a week watching gametracker and or listening to the radio or watching TV at the same time, traveling for games, the season has flown by! This semester brought more frequent calls with after game details, or no call when they lost and he didn't want to talk that night.
The second tip I can give you is that while your son is going to play baseball, first and foremost he is there for an education. It is one thing we always talked about first before baseball (not counting game nights). He knew what was expected of him from us and his coaches and his advisor. The advisors at Clemson are in contact with parents if there is a problem, and our 4.1 average student struggled in the beginning. But he had a great support system, coach received grade reports or missed classes every 3 weeks. He worked hard to get it all together. He took advantage of study hall and tutors. Second semester was a breeze, the classes harder but the adjustment was made, and they do work around the teams travel schedula and games.
If you have any questions, feel free to pm.

Gosh....freshman year seems like a liftime ago....altho it was only two years ago!

1. Make sure he knows how to do his own laundry

2. Make sure he realizes that even tho the girl he calls, using his cell phone, is living in the dorm NEXT to his....it COULD be a long distance call if she is from TEXAS! LOL. There could be ALOT of explaining to do that first cell phone bill away at college.

Good luck to CV jr as he heads off. If he was a good student so far, then that won't change. Just remind him why he is going there. Just ask him to take care of business.

As the season rolls around remind him to find his routine and SLOW the game down. There will be good times and tough times. The tough times make the good times special.

Good Luck.

I think back and look at the things that stand out in my mind are:
1. He did some things on his own that I didn’t think he could, like being somewhere at 6:00 AM.
2. He did some thing that I advised him against and we all survived.
3. All college students have unlimited financial backing and my son is the only one that “runs short” of cash.
4. All college students should make great chemist because of the experience they have of growing bacteria cultures in the kitchen and bathroom.
5. Text messaging can be very expensive if you don’t understand the billing concept and the teenage mindset.
6. Every friend that stops by the apartment brings a 6 pack and leaves the empties around the apartment.
7. Hanging-out is a buzzword that includes a lot of activities that are not openly discussed with parents.
8. Sleepovers are common practice at my son’s apartment.
9. Apartments are never locked and everything they own is in the apartment including computers, TVs, and lots of other electronics.
10. Vehicles are ALWAYS locked and have nothing but McDonald’s wrappers and empty water-bottles under the seats.
11. Parents are always welcome at the apartments but are expected to bring some food when they arrive.
12. The cords, boxes, cables, wires, remotes, games, DVDs that are connected to, or associated with the TV or ”game central” as I call it, just looks like a mess but is fully functional so don’t touch anything associated with that area.
13. Pictures of scantily clothed girls on the walls look just like scantily clad girls have always looked.
Fungo

Fungo- have you been hanging out at my son's dorm??
You know tooooo much!

CV:

CV,Jr. will do fine,, quite a young man, but I offer the following lessons from our experience with our #1:

1. Never ever let your wife see his room.
2. Don't ask how they use Fabreeze.
3. If you get evasive answers to academic questions, keep asking, and asking.
4.It will hurt when you leave campus, but that basketball you feel in your throat will leave. After 3-4 visits, I actually got to where I could leave without the lump....
5. The adjustment for them is huge. Huge.
6. Gived him the money management lectures, but slip him a few bucks when mom isn't looking too.
7. Playstation beats drinking as an activity, so don't assume that video game play is a bad thing, as long as the academics don't get shorted.
8. Listen closely (your law enforcement background should do well here) as sometimes what they aren't saying is more important than what they are saying.

Fungo has nailed the rest of it pretty well.

H-1

Remember he's mostly excited and a little scared....it will be harder on you.

Lessons in money management, laundry, cell phone usage, and (if he'll have a kitchen) food safety and cooking need to be stepped up over the summer. This not only helps prepare him, but gives you lots of opportunites to spend time with him and toke up on your conversations for the long Fall ahead.

Don't let him take anything too precious with him. Not only are they a bit cavalier with their possessions, but college seems to be fairly socialistic. My son returned with clothes I've never seen balancing out the missing stuff.

Suggest a heavier class load in Fall and a lighter one in Spring to accommodate the different levels of baseball time commitment.

Although Fungo is spot on with the security side, a car with only food wrappers and cans would be considered clean. There will also be fermenting laundry, enough paper to reforest Utah, the $2,000 a pop textbooks, and a wide assortment of baseball and workout equipment.

There will be times when he shows maturity, understanding, and responsibility that will take your breath away; there will be times when you could only hope he will aspire to be a space cadet. It's as if there is no age 18; sometimes they're 9, sometimes their 27....the 18 is only the average of the two extremes!

Fungo,
FUNNNNYYYYY! And oh so true!

quote:

One, because I hated waiting up at night,

TPM, I see that things are not that different. After all they are 19 and life is better after midnight. lol

Big,
I hear ya!

These are great, keep posting !

CV

It's amazing what they all have in common. My son came home for the summer and I thought he would need a dump truck to load the trash in out of his car! All of the above posts are true. I agree with Orlando, they are usually a little more scared than they will admit, and it is hard on them and us but you will get used to him being gone. It can be a little touchy when the rules at home have to complied with when they come home after living on their own. A lot of compromising is necessary. Fungo pretty well summed it all up though.
Mine had trouble adapting to the academic requirements coming from a rural high school, he wasn't as well prepared as he could have been although he made good grades in high school. Just remind him that he really needs to pay attention to his grades and keep up with his work. A GOOD alarm clock is essential. I like the idea of the new ones that hop around the room and you have to get up and find them to turn them off. Anyone know where to buy those???
He will do fine, will make mistakes and will also make great decisions. The hardest part is that we don't know what they are usually until after the fact.
One thing, when I went to the first fall game, I was amazed at how much older they all looked. And this was just 3-4 months after graduation. So be prepared for that... they are about grown whether we want them to be or not.

I'd like to know more about this alarm clock that "hops around the room" My older son has to set 3 to get up, then again he was the one I had to go yell at every morning of HS, the younger has just one clock, and gets himself up and ready without extra prompting.

One tip that worked out well for us was to buy white sheets and towels... that way he had full loads of whites to do and maybe even changed his sheets more than the oh gross, 1x a semester!

Get ISBN numbers for books you know he HAS to have and buy them from half.com or check ebay. (has saved me a BUNDLE) computer book 160 new, 113 used, ragged cover, but otherwise just fine 36 delivered from half.com, to beat all the bookstore bought it back from him for 40! Just make sure the Prof is going to use the book, and if you buy from the bookstore KEEP YOUR RECEIPT!

02, thanks for the book tips, they'll help immeasurably for my daughter soon. My son was lucky to get books in his deal, and those puppies are expensive!

You're brave with white sheets (although at least they can be boiled & bleached when they come home). Me, I keep my eyes open for sheets in the same shade as sweat-grime-clay....

One more thing, cv, see if you can find out his roommate's name and have them contact each other over the summer. If it is an apartment setup, it helps with who brings what for the kitchen. Even in a dorm situation, there's things like TV-video-DVD-game setup, is there a need for a shower curtain, or any other space-consideration, mutually-used items.

Orlando

Interesting that you bring up the roomie--- when my son arrived on campus Coach, the Head Coach not an Asst. had his roomie and the roomies parents waiting for us--we met---talked----had dinner together and then hit the local marts for the neccesities for the boys

I still recall it as a very nice touch on the part of the Head Coach

In fact the two roomies had been talking on the phone all summer as coach had made sure they were introduced over the phone early on

As a parent of a freshman to be - these are great!

We are very fortunate in the roomie department. My son's roomate lives about 45 minutes from us - so they are getting to know each other this summer. The kid's mom and I are able to talk frequently about "room stuff". Should help to make the transition much easier for both.

I've been shopping for a few small things. My daughter (15 years old) looked at me this past weekend and said "Mom, you have to wait to buy accessories for when I go to college", "Michael doesn't want this stuff". So I guess another idea is to take someone grounded in reality with you when you shop!

02^04 Mom
There is a new alarm clock that "Jumps/rolls" off the bedside table when it initially goes off and rolls across the room. You have to get out of bed to turn it off. I haven't ever seen one but have seen it on shows that display new gadgets. If I find out where to get one I'll let you know. Seems perfect for college students unless they forget to set it at night. Mine has pulled that one a few times!

Au, You'd have to limit this clock to college students! Most of us, at least myself, would probably suffer a heart attack!

Clocky

I think this is still in R & D by another headline datelined today when I googled.

Hmmm....before purchasing one of these when they become available, do keep in mind that our boys also have strong throwing arms.

The heart attack and strong arms.... two very legitimate points!

If they're living in an apartment, invest in some plastic runners to cover the high traffic areas. Better yet, buy enough to cover all carpeted surfaces.

get a portable fan, a box of dryer clothes freshner sheets like snuggle and a bag of clothes pins. use the clothes pins to place 2-3 snuggle sheets on fan. it's a fact that kids who play ball have smelly rooms. the fan will drown out background noise at night, keep your son cool and keep the room smelling somewhat decent.

lafmom- how true it is!

My son sent me to the store to pick out his bedspread, sheets, etc etc. he was happy he didn't have to do it, and welcomed anything I got for him.

My daughter, on the other hand, is making all her own decisions with her roomie. They know what the want and are having a great time shopping and selecting!

As far as advice goes- get to know the academic structure of the school, including major requirements, which teachers are "traveling athlete" friendly, what tutoring help does the school offer. Sometimes the advisor is on top of things and sometimes, unfortunately, they aren't.

College today seems to allow fewer electives than it did when I went to college. For the student who changes their major, that can add up to a lot of extra credits and tuition $$.

Hokieone
#1 is FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

For my son, who just finished his freshman year, his most used item was earplugs
Highly recommended as a way to keep great roommates great!

On the mundane things of what you should buy, bring etc. don't forget they have stores wherever your son is heading . Ours brought way too much with him.

Have your son check in with his roomate if he knows who that will be and coordinate some of the stuff they'll bring. Good way for them to "meet" and start connecting.

Visit the school website yourself and familiarize yourself with as much as you can about school calendars, policies etc. Not so you can instruct or interfere, but so you have a clue as to what's going on (or should be going on).

It's their college experience, so let your son set the ground rules (within reason for phoning, emailing, visiting etc.

The first few weeks or so will be tough, by Thanksgiving break it will typically have all come together.

Then the spring baseball season... best advice we got is that the best hope for a freshman player is that he'll become a sophomore player. (keep the dreams alive but the expectations in check as a freshman).

Have confidence that you've done your best the past 18 years to raise your child and that they will find their way.

This may be obvious to some, but I hadn't thought about it. A friend told me this weekend - flipflops for the shower. Don't want them picking up fungus' (athlete's foot) or virus' (warts) from the shower floor.

One more thing; a box fan is great for providing a "white noise" that drowns out stereos, TV's, etc. At the risk of telling a "back in the day" story, I had one running almost constantly through 7 years of college and grad school; a very pleasant sound that drowns out the other stuff.
And yes, there really was electricity back then, and no, Mr. Franklin didn't personally wire our dorm.

Hokie,
You are right about the fan, however tell tehm to clean off the dust it accumulates every once in awhile!

Hokieone.....a box fan? Is that a large square fan......sorry.....but what is a box fan?

Yep, a large square fan. They set easily on the floor if there are space issues, and are a little safer as they don't rotate around, catching cords, T shirts, etc. Normally they'll run for a long while; "back in the day", we left the one on in our room for weeks on end. If you can fit them in a window, the cooler night air drawn in is almost like air conditioning.

Thank you Hokieone.....it's been added to our ever growing list.

We were very concerned sending our first one to college (1000 miles away). When we got there and met his roommate we were ecstatic. They got along great although they were very different people. They respected each other and the other one's belongings. When we left the parking lot we were happy knowing this was going to work out just fine. Not what we expected.

Our little one goes off this fall and the coach has already told us who he will room with and they are now starting to get in touch with each other. The coaches try to pair off players that they feel will get along and try to have the freshmen rooms near to one another (it doesn't always work out that way but at least they try).

Based upon what I've read here and looking at how my son lives now I'd swear he was already in college!

Just leave your wallet open on the counter.

I bought mine 2 sets of sheets for that extra long dorm bed and extra pillow cases. I also enclosed 6 towels, 2 blue, 2 orange and 2 purple.
One set of sheets and pillow cases never used, 4 towels came home unused. This was a kid who used a new towel everytime he showered.
As far as the towels he said he showered most of the time at the field (hoping that is true).
Don't waste your money, one set of sheets and 2 towels should be enough.
I also sent 12 utility towels for washing his truck. Never used, and I am now wondering which towels were used to dry the truck!

About those bedsheets...What worked for us were those Hanes sheets, comes in a little bag. They are kind of stretchy and will fit either a standard twin or a long twin size. He said they were comfy.