watching tryouts

You most likely are not the only dad wanting to do this...there are many dads and moms that would naturally want to watch.

If none of the players want their mom or dad watching over their shoulder I suppose you could all switch off and look over the shoulder of someone else's kid...that might work!

My advice...let him go it alone...he'll share with you...he knows you're probably more excited than he is!

I would counsel against it. My son is a freshman as well. I have been very involved with his baseball since the t-ball days.

He's been working out with the HS team since Jan 8th, and ended up on the JV team. I've stayed out of things entirely. My only interaction with the coaching staff has been to say "hi" when I see them.

It is a different role than I am used to with him, for sure. It is certainly different not having any role whatever in his baseball team.

But the last thing I wanted the coaches to think is that they had a meddling dad on their hands. I think if you show up at tryouts, you'll not only make your son feel strange, but you risk getting off on the wrong foot with the coaching staff.

Just my opinion - obviously, every situation is different.

Ah, also known as "The Quandary!" My son's team travelled about 3 hours by bus yesterday to go to their season-opener. I went to the same location last year when he was a freshman. Spent $50 in gas and got and $80 speeding ticket. Showed up all excited, and was the ONLY parent there. I felt like a ****. I enjoyed myself anyway. This year, however, I decided to give my son some breathing room to go on a road trip without feeling the shadow of dad. I hope he's having a ball with his teammates!!
I'll catch him when they play their first home game.

The point is -- the pull to go watch is HUGE - like a gigantic magnet that can hardly be resisted. It's a very tough call, not knowing traditionally how parents work your school's tryouts........

Back in January, there was a huge topic on this very thing in the Texas Forum. Many varying opinions...

If you know the parents of an older player, ask about the local custom. At my son's hs, there were always lots of parents at the tryouts.

The number of cars in the parking lot are also going to be a clue when you get there!

Speaking from experience,

Drop him off at tryouts and come back 2 and a half hours later to pick him up.

'nuff said.

Tell your son, if he has an issue with you watching. Tough. See you there.
A good ball player takes care of business on the field.
I had that out with my son years ago. If you can't play in front of your biggest fans you just can't play.
That attitude is for 10 yo players.

Stay away. The coach does not want you there.

Son's former HS did not allow parents at try-outs or practices. I never tried to sneak and peek any year. I respected and valued the way the coach did things. I still do.

Mom and dad need to stay home IMO.

Here in California it was not a problem to go and watch tryouts. I have enjoyed watching my son practice and play since he was in T ball. As he was trying out this year as a freshman I did go a watch most of the tryouts. I would show up about 45 minutes before practice was over. It was enough time to get my fix and enough time to get a sense of how he was doing and how the team was going to look. As it turned out other fathers starte to show up also. Strength in numbers. We made sure we were way in the distance, not hidding but nor hovering. Not a problem.

I enjoyed every minute of 99% of son's practices. In HS I used to sit on a bench in the gym during indoor practices and the coaches would talk with me all the time. Had a great relationship with them. Often asked for imput on player skill and selection. I never interfered but was a fixture at games and practices.

In Arizona it was never a problem to go and watch tryouts....the last half of tryouts always consisted of scrimage games....and we only went then.....to watch the games.....

Tryouts will be indoors, so I'd think it would not be really cool to go to tryouts. The kids don't want an audience anyway. The coaches being there will be nervewracking enough for some kids.

Once the team is selected and they get outdoors for practice, maybe that would be ok to go to, although I don't think very many do.

But games always have parents there. Even the away games, but not as many. Getting out of work in time for games is tough for some people. Missing them because of that will be tougher, something I'm not looking forward to.

Let them tryout without an audience and deal with the suspense. Good luck!

I think this is a personal issue between player and parent and should be discussed. I don't think we even thought about it back then.
The last year son was in HS, I had to go to tryouts once or twice to hand out fundraising info. I noticed most of the parents (dads) were folks of the freshman and sophomore players.

Krak:

quote:

Originally posted by Krakatoa:
...and got an $80 speeding ticket. Showed up all excited, and was the ONLY parent there. I felt like a ****.

Felt like an...aardvark? An excited aardvark?

So where are you going to drive this year to unload your eighty bucks?

You and Tristan have a good season Krak.

I think it all depends on the coach. Our HS baseball coach prefers no one at tryouts or practices.
Last week I needed to quickly follow up with our coach on a fundraising/capital improvement project for our baseball field. I showed up for the last 15 minutes of practice to talk with coach right after practice. Guess who was the most upset that I was there......MY SON!!! (figures)

What's is interesting is that our HS Football coach has the complete opposite philosophy. He wants as many parents/kids/fans show up for practices and tryouts. I imagine some of that has to do with the "emotion/intensity" of football, and he wants the players fired up as much as possible.

At the end of the day, find out what the coaches policy is on this item.

GOOD LUCK!

After reading posts, I guess hiding in a tree with binoculars is out of the question.

If spring hasn't quite arrived in Massachusetts like it hasn't arrived in the Chicago area your hiding in a tree idea will leaf you exposed!

Some crazy stuff here. We would ask that no one show up (parents) during tryouts. But once the team was chosen, practice was open to the public.
We weren't testing missiles or hiding government secrets.
The players don't communicate with who's outside the fence and no one outside is allowed up to the fence or near the dugouts or pen.
Some parents, former coaches and just fans get a kick out of a good practice and it shows just how hard the kids work.
If you're confident enough that you run a solid program, who cares who's watching.
As a current instructor, I show up at different school practices to see how my kids are doing. I have never even acknowledged a coach or had one notice who was in the stands.

This is the first step in cutting the chord--- stay away

When my son was a freshman, many parents attended tryouts and practices. As a sophmore, very few parents showed up for tryouts and practice. At least half the kids parents show up for every game whether their out of town or not. Personally, if its 75 degrees out I will cut out of work early and enjoy watching practice. If it rainy, I will work late until practice is over.

Never went to tryouts or practice but never missed a game

With me it has nothing to do with my son.
I go for my own enjoyment and knowledge. I attend a University tryout and other teams. I get people coming up and saying I see you everyehre. People come and sit with me and the conversation is what its all about.
I love watching my son but it really has nothing to do with him.
Ball park friends everywhere. The coaches all know why I go and thank me for being there. As I say most of them come over and talk with me and ask some advive about players they may not know because they know I have probably seen them.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Never went to tryouts or practice but never missed a game

Same here. Never went to a Little League tryout or his freshman tryout, which lasted a week.

Interesting that in high school, no dads show up for baseball practice, but a lot of dads showed up for football practice, me included..lol

Garry

I'm with you Bobblehead.

I go to as many practices as I can which is most of them. I'm a baseball junkie and just love it. I never say a word to the coaches and keep my distance. When I do talk with the coach I never talk about the practices or mention any of the kids on the team. The coaches do a good job with their practices and it is a joy to watch the team develop leading up to the first game. Our school or coaches have never said a word about parents attending practice. I have no idea whether they like it or not. If they ever indicated they prefer parents not be there, I would certainly honor that.

I was worried about putting pressure on my son, so at first I tried to get as far away as I could hoping he would not see me. Then when he waved at me one day, my cover was blown. Come to find out he didn't care if I was there and actually started asking me about various parts of the practices and how he did. He seems to like the additional feedback.

If the coaches don't want you there, do go.
As long as the coaches don't have a problem with it, I wouldn't miss the experience of watching my son and the team grow if my life depended on it.

Great topic. I did it both ways actually. My oldest son [now a sophomore in college] was not that interested in baseball and just played on the high school team because he was good enough at the game to play varsity his sophomore year. They had a lousy team and I went to very few practices and even fewer games. The youngest one loved the game so when he went out two years later, I decided to go watch the practices. As time went on I got to know the head coach pretty well and I would share information with him about the other conference teams that we would play. [Yes, I scouted some of them before we played them. I am retired, you know.]

At the end of that year [my oldest son's senior year, my youngest son's freshman year] the coach asked me if I would be willing to help with the team as a sort of unofficial hitting coach over the winter [In West Virginia neither a HS coach nor any of his assistants can coach his team in any summer, fall or winter program. Not even in so called "open gym voluntary practices" held inside during the winter months.]

I have helped those athletes that showed up on Sunday afternooons and wanted/needeed help with their hitting for two winters now and will likely keep on helping after my son has graduated if the coach still wants me to. IMHO, if you know something [better yet several somethings] about this game, then I don't see why you should not go to practices. How else will you find out whether the coaches your son is playing for know what they are doing or not? If you don't know that much, or worst of all think you do but you don't, practices will probably frustrate you with questions like: What on earth has he got them doing that for? and Why has he got that kid playing that position for?, etc. But if you do go, the coach will find out who you are if your continued presence either interests him or threatens him at all, and if the word comes back that you know this game enough to help, he may or may not talk to you. If he doesn't acknowledge you I would not try to communicate with him other than "Hi coach." Remember, I did not go to my son's coach with the idea of helping his hitters; he first came to me. A great many coaches I know have far to much ego to do something like that and I feel sorry for both those coaches and, more importantly, the impressionable student athletes they are paid to teach. But my son's coach did it and I think all the more of him for it. Otherwise, I would not be doing what I am doing every winter. He also found an equally ancient ex-pitcher to help his pitchers in the winter open practices.

My advice. Even as a freshman parent, get involved. Find your own way to help the team. Attend practices and learn. Then, when you hear a parent at a game say, "My Johnny has not had a fair chance to make the varsity" or some such thing, you can take them aside and softly say, "I have been watching all or almost all the practices and your Johnny has had plenty of chances", with some conviction.

TW344

TW

Why do you want to be able to sit in the stands and say that to a parent even if you take them aside to say it?

To me that is not the reason a parent wants to be at practice

We had a cadre of dads who during the winter used the town armory for practices on weeknites and weekends during the offseason. But we were all baseball people who wanted to help the kids but we didnt do it so we could upbraid a parent at a game

We did what we did because we loved the game and had something to offer the kids in terms of baseball and perhaps life. And the sessions were to open to all kids in town not just the HS players--it was great fun

Missouri good man. Thats a great father son relationship. There is a big difference between a medling parent and a baseball nut.
All the coacges around here know me and they know I never interfere. My son would kill me.
We have a local University and I attend thyeir tryouts and games. I sit behind the backstop and the coaches come and sit with me and ask me about players. last year they asked me about a RHP freshman and I told they he was a keeper. He won freshman of the year in the Ontario U Assoc (OUA). He was not spectacular but a solid closer 85+ , great mechanics and could hit his spots.
I love the amateur baseball and even watch some friends kids play rec ball. I have never been a baseball snob and some of the parents are surprised that I am there. I told them I just enjoy watching the guys play and have fun. They figure because my son is an elite player I wouldn't enjoy this level. There are actually a few that with the right experience at an earlier age might also be Elite players.
I have a ballpark that I walk to just to sit thyere and smell the grass and feel the ambiance of the ballparksun,maybe have lunch . This park has histoty and had some of thye greatest hockey players play thyere like Bobby Hull and stan Makita.

TR:

You are confusing apples and oranges again. I did not help kids during the winter so I could go to practices and take parents aside and talk to them when they make rash statements. I did not go to practices in order to do that either. I take them aside so I [URL=do not]do not[/URL] "upbraid" [to criticize, reproach or scold severely] them in front of others. And I would consider carefully what I would say to them and how I would say it.

What I am trying to do in that role is to deflect undue and irresponsible criticism from the coach before it becomes an epidemic among certain parents. There are threads on this website where parent "riots" against coaches have been discussed and I see my role as "nipping it in the bud" as Barney Fife would say if the criticism of the coach is unjustified.

What, at long last you want irresponsible criticism of coaches to go unchallanged by knowledgable parents? Surely not. The world has not turned that much upsidedown, I hope?

TW344

TW

Im think I know apples from oranges

Let me word it this way then--why is it your position to say anything to any of the parents?

As a player, this is just my oppinion and your sons could be different, but I would say just let him go try out and you can always attend games in the season. I know that I hate it when my parents are even around when I am playing. To me and don't take this offensive parents but I just concider parents distracting. I also know knowledgable coaches and serious coaches concider them distracting as well. TW I understand completely that the coach asking you to help is different, but to the dad asking all I would have to say is if it is your decission to go and your son's ok with it that's fine, but just make sure to keep your distance.

What's the argument. If someone wants to go to tryouts or practice, that's their personal business.
At the HS the lighting, dugout, batting cages were destroyed in the hurricane. Not fixed as yet. The team has to play games at other fields, I miss not being able to drop by for a game and to say hi and to WATCH a real game. Parents get involved as much as you can, if coach asks, fundraising, practices. We had lots of dads and moms who helped out, the coach welcomed it.
As a parent of a player who is very far away, now sorry I didn't stop by to watch more practices. Sorry I missed some games.

NHslinger,
I hope that you do not forbid your parents from attending your games. To say that you hate it when they are around, I find somewhat sad. Knowledgeable and serious coaches don't mind their players having support, though I am sure they do mind the parent who sits at the backstop and gives instructions.
There are some players who travel very far away from home to play, and they do very much miss the family support. There was a post once from a young player, telling us that he wished his parents were more involved, cared more about what he was doing. Sorry that you missed that.

Speaking as NHSlinger's mom - I can count the number of games I've missed over the past eight years on my fingers and have fingers left over. I've attended game in NH, MA, CT, FL, and even in St. Louis, MO, and its been great to be able to share the highs and lows with my son. I've also been present at every LL, Cal Ripken, Babe Ruth, All-Stars, and AAU practice.

He is, however, older now and try-outs are off limits. I was not present when he tried out for the freshman team as an 8th grader. I was home wishing the knot in my stomach would loosen up, and when he made it through the first two rounds of cuts and I had to wait out two more days of try-outs, I thought all of my red hair would be grey by the time it was over. When I went to pick him up after the final day, he came out of the gym with his head hung low and I started fighting back tears. Then the little punk gave me a huge smile and I could've killed him. He made the team - he was just messing with me!

I did not attend try-outs, last year, and will not be present when they start tomorrow. With the junior high and high school teams, I've missed most practices because they're after school and I'm not out of work until later. If I manage to clear my desk early, I will swing by the field and sit on the hill and watch from a distance with a handful of other parents. The parents my son and his teammates complain about are the ones who are hanging around the backstop or the dugout or trying to get a word in with the coaches during practice. Those of us who watch from more of a distance and are respectful of the team and coaches are welcome to be present.

When NHSlinger was in 8th grade, I swallowed hard and made the decision that I would not attend away games to be played more than an hour from the school. That became his time to begin adjusting to my not being present and my time to begin "cutting the cord." When he leaves for college, both of us know I won't be at every game and its better he begin to make that adjustment, now. My husband says I'm the one actually making the adjustment and that's probably closer to the truth. All of his local games are a priority for me, however, and everyone I work with knows it. His schedule is posted and they know I'll be leaving at a specific time to get to his games, so if they need me for something, they better catch me early. My husband will be at every game he can get to, and my ex-husband will be to some of them. My parents are 3 hours away, but NH calls with an update after every game. He has a solid support system.

I agree that its sad that some players have nobody there for them, but I always make sure I cheer for the entire team and make it a point to give a kid an "atta-boy" for a job well done when I know that he won't hear those words from someone else. But don't worry about NH - we understand his thoughts and respect his position.

TR:

To try to avoid future problems. To try to get all the parents behind the coach and the team. To make sure new parents feel welcome, comfortable and confident that their child is in good hands with these coaches, if that is what I sincerely believe. To avoid discord between parents. To avoid discord between parents and coaches, parents and the AD, parents and the school administration, between parents and the school board or any combination of the above.

The bottom line, to make what I consider to be a good, honest and fair coach's job a little easier.

TW344

I pondered whether or not to post my opinion to this thread simply because I don’t think my opinion should influence others and their opinion didn’t and won’t influence me (on this subject).
However, I do think there are a few things to consider when contemplating going to your son's practices or tryouts. First, and the most important is: What do YOU want to do? Secondly, has the coach expressed his “rules” concerning this? Have you gotten any feedback from your son on this? And ---- what is the “norm” at the high school or the college?
Weigh it all out and make your decision. I personally attended 99% of my son’s high school and summer team practices, and all his pre-draft workouts/tryouts. I wouldn’t miss a tryout unless the coach banned parents from attending. I never looked at this as having anything to do with cutting, or not cutting a cord ... I’m a man and we never were joined by any “cord”.
Years do modify the parent/son relationship so some things do change over the years as they mature into men. While he may have preferred I stayed away from some of his high school practices, (I don’t know that and he never said that), he has expressed that he would like it if could come to some of his workouts this year but the 850 mile trip to the field eliminates that. Not that it should make any difference in YOUR situation but as I look back it was a baseball time of our lives that we enjoyed ------ “together”.
Fungo

Not sure how all coaches feel about parents attending practices, but I always welcomed it, especially early season practices. Hardly ever would parents bother anyone. Once in awhile we would have closed practices. We would hold most all team meetings or discussions out of hearing distance.

We actually wanted parents or others to see that we were organized and knew what we were doing. I think parents who attended practice had a better idea of what we did during the games. Our coaching staff was fairly quiet during the games, much more vocal and did more serious coaching during practice. The game is for the players to be seen, the practice belongs to the coaches.

A good baseball person can attend practice and easily figure out how good the coaching staff is. A good baseball person never gets in the way, they just observe and form opinions. If they attend both the games and the practices they’re likely to form more accurate opinions.

We would sometimes have several parents at practices. I don’t ever remember a problem. In fact, it seemed those who attended were the biggest supporters of the team in many cases. Most times they were also the biggest supporters of the coaching staff.

We never thought those who attended practices were any better or worse than those who did not. or could not, attend.

Sometimes when the kids were growing up, I had to miss games because of the job. When time allowed I’d go to the practices. Never got involved, never drew attention, just watched.

Call it ego if you wish, but I think good coaches like to be watched, just like good players like to be watched. If you had a crowd of 2,000 at every practice, players and coaches both would work hard.

No longer coach, but I love to watch good coaches work. Might even learn something! JMO, don’t expect everyone to agree.

Kudos to all the parents who participate in their son's lives and support them. It is also important that we don't interfere.
I have drivenson's friends to and from games because the parents don't support them. You can feel thye pain in their conversations and I always try to talk about their game. My son has been told many times how lucky he is to have parents who show they care. His friends have said it to us. We give him his space but when it comes to baseball their is no question were we belong.
He calls after every game just to say hello. Means alot to us.
TPM you are right on. They are gone before you realize and you missed it and can't get it back.

PG you are 100% correct.
I have noticed the same thing and I have also noticed the coaches who shut parents out had the most problems with them. baseball is all about respect and you have to earn it. Openness helps.

Excellent PG.