TG offered an excellant analogy in one of the recent contentious threads:
"Joining a board is like walking into a party full of strangers with the one person you know. In this case the partner we all know is baseball. You have to feel your way and find a comfort level."
At that party, you know nothing of the backgrounds or credentials of any of the other attendees. You don't know how long they've been there. You know nothing about what has built that party to the place it now holds. You know nothing of the experience of the party as a whole. And there's no reason to believe that the party is being held in your honor.
At one time or another (and currently), we've had hs & college coaches, professional scouts, owners of showcases, players of all ages, parents of players of all ages, pro ballplayers, pro ballplayers' parents. Of the members, I would venture to guess the majority have coached youth ball at some point. Unless you're Joe Torre or Dave Duncan (I bring him up as he likes forums
), you aren't bringing anything new to the party. You are, however, most welcome if you enter in with courtesy and with a mindset of maintaining mutual respect.
Of course I'm addressing this primarily to the newbies. Anyone who has been around for a while already knows the expectation level.
I would like to think you wouldn't enter any party beginning your coversation primarily about how wonderful your son the ballplayer is, particularly if you remembered that everybody at the party has a wonderful ballplayer son, too. Or reminding everyone about your coaching skills as that's a common trait here as well. Or speaking up without the recognition that 'opinion' and 'fact' are not synonyms.
Now, the one big advantage that party has over a message board is that facial expressions and voice inflection colors the words said. Try saying 'You look good' to your partner....appreciative or sarcastic?
Rather than hitting that keyboard with what you've decided someone else meant, take a moment to consider that there might have been alternate intentions. In the recent Pre-HS thread, much was made of a comment regarding a 9 year old: "he's got a long way to go". Now, does that mean the child has limited skills....or does it mean that, as he hasn't even hit puberty yet, lighten up and enjoy the moment?
Should you feel attacked, perhaps it would be a good idea to go back and read your own posts objectively (not just to remind yourself of your own cleverness
). Did you type anything unclearly that could have been taken the wrong way? Are you guilty of what you are about to accuse the other poster of? Have you elected to answer their question, or simply continue the atmosphere of attack? And why are you doing this?I suggested in that thread to read the Board Manners. I truly wonder how many of us have sometimes. Here they are: Board Manners
As in any gathering, it's very easy to acquire a reputation quickly. The rep you establish will color responses to you for some time.
Everyone on this board has something to contribute --- from the Old Timers it's experience, roadmaps through some of the more daunting bits, warnings about mistakes made, contacts. For the newbies, it's the changing landscape of youth baseball and the opportunities available. The tone of your posts will color how seriously you are taken, whether asking for advice or giving it.
Nobody "owns" this site; it's a co-operative. Nobody dictates who can post unless that post breaches the rules lain out in Board Manners. If you feel somehow unappreciated, you are free to leave.
But if you stay in the spirit in which this site was created, you'll learn a great deal, enhance your son(s)' experience, and will have the satisfaction of helping other people.
All the best to all of you.
I always have found that when these things happen, it puts the HSBBW's purpose into perspective and everyone is a bit more tolerant of each other, old and new.
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