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My son has been speaking to a D1 school weekly.   The last two conversations the RC has been a little more adamant that they want him.   The school is at the top of his list and he would love to play there but there's been no talk about an offer yet.    My son isn't one to "show his cards" but really likes this school.   Should he make it a point to be more adamant with the RC that the school is definitely where he would want to be or is he better off just playing it cool and going with the flow?    Appreciate the advice.    

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Have your son continue weekly/bi-weekly conversation with the RC.  Your son being more adamant isn't going to have much effect, as the school knows he wants an offer. However, creating a relationship with the RC will further the cause much more!  For this summer, also take as much video as possible and send it along to the RC.

Like in life, build the relationship, and if it's the right fit, the offer will come.  JMO

In our experience, if they want you, they offer.  My son talked to 3 schools weekly/bi-weekly for 6-8 months.  One was his dream school.  They dragged him along, asked him who else he was talking to, told him he was on the top of their board.  Another school saw him once, accidentally, because they were early to see the kid playing in the next game and they offered that day. When he played at PBR futures, he walked off the field with notes to call 6-7 schools.  They were making offers.  Some he had never talked to, or had talked to once or twice.  Don't put your eggs in one basket.  They probably like your son, but when they want him, they will offer, otherwise they will drag him along until they have to decide.  Neither school that my son had been asked to call weekly ever offered.

In my son's case there was a group of about 5 schools who were regularly calling and texting.  They always asked about who else he was talking to, and whether or not anyone had offered.  (We actually used to see these coaches chatting together at the games).  Finally he had a huge tournament when several of the schools were in attendance.  Got the first offer a couple of days later, and then they all called to offer.  Looking back it seems that no one wanted to be the first, but once the first came they all rushed in. 

If a recruit is getting strung out in the recruiting process chances are he’s on their B or C list. They’re waiting to hear from preferred recruits they have rated higher. The longer a recruit is strung out if the offer ultimately comes he probably player 25-35 on the roster. 

I saw too many recruits my son’s age hold out for the dream school only to transfer after freshman or sophomore year after barely seeing the field or being advised not to return.

Go where you’re loved.

Last edited by RJM
@baseballhs posted:

In our experience, if they want you, they offer.  My son talked to 3 schools weekly/bi-weekly for 6-8 months.  One was his dream school.  They dragged him along, asked him who else he was talking to, told him he was on the top of their board.  Another school saw him once, accidentally, because they were early to see the kid playing in the next game and they offered that day. When he played at PBR futures, he walked off the field with notes to call 6-7 schools.  They were making offers.  Some he had never talked to, or had talked to once or twice.  Don't put your eggs in one basket.  They probably like your son, but when they want him, they will offer, otherwise they will drag him along until they have to decide.  Neither school that my son had been asked to call weekly ever offered.

This was, for the most part, our experience as well, with some interesting exceptions. There were a handful of schools that had extended offers and lot more with which my 2018 was regular contact.

When he made his choice in the summer after his junior year of high school, he contacted the schools that had offered him before calling the school he chose - at least, he tried to. A couple of the schools he couldn't reach immediately and, after a couple of days, went ahead and committed. Both of those schools expressed disappointment that they weren't given a chance to up their offer. One of those schools (same conference) was outright rude about it. In addition, several of the schools that HADN'T offered seemed upset that he didn't call them and give them a chance to offer. I was shocked by that one, because they knew he had other offers and had plenty of chances to do so.

The other angle that interested me was what happened during his senior season. For background, he was throwing 88-89/ T90 that summer, but was sitting 91-93 / T94 his senior year and was ripping through batters. We were contacted (not directly - often through third parties like pro scouts) by schools that had shown little or no interest in him before who now wanted to know if he had actually signed his NLI with CSUN or not (he had). I found it interesting, though, that there would still have been offers available even late into his senior season.

4arms, is your son being recruited by any other schools?  If so, is the head coach the one communicating with your son for any of those schools?

"Go where you're loved" is great advice from RJM.  I might add that it's a bonus if that love is being shown by the head coach. 

If your son has a great relationship with the RC, but then he leaves for another job just as your son is getting ready to arrive on campus, is your son also "loved" by the head coach?  After all, he's the one that makes out the starting lineup!

I can't tell you how many times I've had a consultation call with an athlete or parents regarding a transfer situation and the first or second sentence of the conversation is "the coach who recruited our son is no longer there."

@RJM posted:

If a recruit is getting strung out in the recruiting process chances are he’s on their B or C list. They’re waiting to hear from preferred recruits they have rated higher. The longer a recruit is strung out if the offer ultimately comes he probably player 25-35 on the roster. 

I saw too many recruits my son’s age hold out for the dream school only to transfer after freshman or sophomore year after barely seeing the field or being advised not to return.

Go where you’re loved.

I agree with this but will offer my own kid's experience as a counterpoint. He had a number of schools talking to him. Lots of jucos, several D2s and a few D1s. He didn't really have a dream school, but when the only instate D1 program started showing interest, he obviously responded. He told everyone he would commit around his 18th birthday — in September of his senior year. Several schools were pretty annoyed that he was dragging it out and made it clear they would offer his money to someone else. He politely said "yes, you can do that. I'll make my decision on my schedule."

Early in September, Iowa made their offer. He committed. I was frantic because I assumed he would be the backup guy sitting in the pen and getting a couple of innings,  maybe, midweek. But he made the decision. Went to school, worked his butt off. At Christmas, they told him he was a "pleasant surprise." When season started, he got a couple of starts. Mid-season, picked up his first win over a ranked team. This season, was the Sunday starter when the pandemic shut things down. Some kids who had been committed since they were sophomores in high school have transferred.

Go where you're loved, but also recognize that in baseball, you have to earn the love. Be honest about your ability, and willingness, to work hard enough to do that.

@RJM posted:

If a recruit is getting strung out in the recruiting process chances are he’s on their B or C list. They’re waiting to hear from preferred recruits they have rated higher. The longer a recruit is strung out if the offer ultimately comes he probably player 25-35 on the roster. 

I saw too many recruits my son’s age hold out for the dream school only to transfer after freshman or sophomore year after barely seeing the field or being advised not to return.

Go where you’re loved.

My 2017 was being contacted by the same RC pretty much every day.  Kid said at one point, "He's like my girlfriend."  Lots of love, but no offer.  One day, it just stops.  A few days later, I look at Perfect Game and see that a highly touted MIF just commited, a very good get for that program.  I remember thinking, yeah, I would have waited for that guy too.

@Iowamom23 posted:

I agree with this but will offer my own kid's experience as a counterpoint. He had a number of schools talking to him. Lots of jucos, several D2s and a few D1s. He didn't really have a dream school, but when the only instate D1 program started showing interest, he obviously responded. He told everyone he would commit around his 18th birthday — in September of his senior year. Several schools were pretty annoyed that he was dragging it out and made it clear they would offer his money to someone else. He politely said "yes, you can do that. I'll make my decision on my schedule."

Early in September, Iowa made their offer. He committed. I was frantic because I assumed he would be the backup guy sitting in the pen and getting a couple of innings,  maybe, midweek. But he made the decision. Went to school, worked his butt off. At Christmas, they told him he was a "pleasant surprise." When season started, he got a couple of starts. Mid-season, picked up his first win over a ranked team. This season, was the Sunday starter when the pandemic shut things down. Some kids who had been committed since they were sophomores in high school have transferred.

Go where you're loved, but also recognize that in baseball, you have to earn the love. Be honest about your ability, and willingness, to work hard enough to do that.

I believe it’s a little easier for pitchers to climb the ladder. Improved velocity is very quantifiable on a gun. The game revolves around pitching. A player not hitting can be buried in the lineup if he plays a valuable glove position creating less opportunities for others. If a pitcher is getting pounded it’s quickly next man up.

But regardless the young player has to stay physically and mentally ready for that one opportunity. Success getting one hitter out or one pinch hit success leads to the next opportunity. Successful opportunities lead to a role in the team. 

Go where you are loved. Period. If a school loves your son, you will know. There will be an offer.

My LHP son was on a "B" -type list for several D1s... lots of talk, no tangible offers. In retrospect, it seems pretty clear they were watching him, hoping for a velo jump of 2-3mph or something else objectively measured that would move him to the "A" list.

I'm also glad my son ended up at a different D1 that more obviously loved him. Had he somehow demonstrated the improvement desired for one of those other schools (or had someone listed ahead of him go elsewhere to bump him up the list), I'd be concerned long-term that the school would be looking to replace him with someone better as soon as he committed. Which is going to happen everywhere regardless, but better to be at a school where he started off loved than liked. 

I'd also have no regrets encouraging my son to "show his cards" to his dream school. Schools already know your son wants an offer, but they also want kids that love them back. Just respect the RC's time and intelligence... he's done this way more than you and has seen and heard it all.

I appreciate all the feedback.  The RC did say that he wanted him to visit the campus ASAP since he hasn’t visited the school yet but with COVID they can’t host him.  The school mentioned doesn’t have any commits yet for his grad year (2023).  I guess it’s early and with COViD I’ll just tell him to keep playing and see what happens.  Very good advice about the schools “prioritization” of recruits. Thank you.  

@4arms posted:

I appreciate all the feedback.  The RC did say that he wanted him to visit the campus ASAP since he hasn’t visited the school yet but with COVID they can’t host him.  The school mentioned doesn’t have any commits yet for his grad year (2023).  I guess it’s early and with COViD I’ll just tell him to keep playing and see what happens.  Very good advice about the schools “prioritization” of recruits. Thank you.  

As he is a 2023 talking with a D1, they cannot "host" him until September 1, 2021 based on current recruiting rules.  They can't give him an individual tour of the facilities, can't initiate calls, or have him talk with current players. School /coaches may just be playing by the rules, which is generally a good sign. Technically, the only offers they could make now would be through a third party like his travel ball, or HS coach...

Or, if this is where he really wants to be and campus isn't too far, you and he could make a visit, take a tour of the campus and let coaches know when he is coming.  Then your son can, through text,  can make an agreement to initiate a call and the coaches can pick up the phone and talk directly. 

There is always pressure to commit early, my son, a 2019, went through it.  He was being recruited and receiving emails, texts and phone calls from all over the country - SEC, ACC, PAC, IVY between his freshman and sophomore years.  Then he had a knee injury and two subsequent surgeries that wiped out all of his sophomore, and  most of his junior and senior HS seasons.  Fortunately, he was able to do enough during summerball to keep interest, but it allowed him time to mature and see it from both ends as a very early recruit and a later commit. 

He hated it at the time, as he watched all his friends commit to places that were once recruiting him.  Now, he will tell you it was the best experience ever.  He really knew where he was going and what they had to offer.  He wouldn't advise anyone to commit before their junior year of baseball.

Our experience with both sons.  We never talked more than a couple of times to coaches without an offer.  I have found with experience with other guys that the longer the conversations before the offers, the further down the list you are.  Doesn't mean you can't be successful there but it is a hard climb.  The only teams that followed youngest for a long time were two P5's that did not make offers before he committed but tried to get him to de-commit so they would make an offer.  One was at every game he pitched the summer before senior year.  Never made an offer because he was committed but liked every post, comment on social media and was at the every outing.  Got funny at the end.

@PitchingFan posted:

Our experience with both sons.  We never talked more than a couple of times to coaches without an offer.  I have found with experience with other guys that the longer the conversations before the offers, the further down the list you are.  Doesn't mean you can't be successful there but it is a hard climb.  The only teams that followed youngest for a long time were two P5's that did not make offers before he committed but tried to get him to de-commit so they would make an offer.  One was at every game he pitched the summer before senior year.  Never made an offer because he was committed but liked every post, comment on social media and was at the every outing.  Got funny at the end.

Second this. Never understood how some could talk to schools every few days and never have an offer. The first reaction was - great they're interested. That quickly turned into if they're interested why haven't they offered. At a certain point when you talk weekly for months at a time they're just a pen pal. The schools that liked to text were the schools that never offered. 

There were schools that asked for a schedule and would check in after each tournament. How did you do this weekend? If they really cared how you did they'd be there, but they weren't because they were watching another player they liked better. 

When it was time to commit it was similar to Roothog's experience. Schools wanted to up their offer or check out the new field house. What I translated that to was - they didn't make their best offer to begin with. One school that would text every now and then was sent a message saying he had an offer he was close to accepting and wanted to know if they were still interested. No response. Two weeks later - how'd you throw this weekend? 

@PABaseball posted:

Second this. Never understood how some could talk to schools every few days and never have an offer. The first reaction was - great they're interested. That quickly turned into if they're interested why haven't they offered. At a certain point when you talk weekly for months at a time they're just a pen pal. The schools that liked to text were the schools that never offered. 

There were schools that asked for a schedule and would check in after each tournament. How did you do this weekend? If they really cared how you did they'd be there, but they weren't because they were watching another player they liked better. 

When it was time to commit it was similar to Roothog's experience. Schools wanted to up their offer or check out the new field house. What I translated that to was - they didn't make their best offer to begin with. One school that would text every now and then was sent a message saying he had an offer he was close to accepting and wanted to know if they were still interested. No response. Two weeks later - how'd you throw this weekend? 

Even worse for my son were all the schools contacting us (through third parties) in the Spring of his senior season wanting to know if he'd actually signed his NLI. These were all P5's that had shown lukewarm interest, but now wanted to scoop in if he wasn't signed yet.

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