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When he was 10 I used to love when my wife told me he hit a home run but details were sketchy.  Where did he hit it?  Out there.  Where?  Out to the field?  Did he hit a line drive or was it a pop up?  I don't know.  From there we got frustrated with each other and I stopped talking lest I say something I would regret.

Next game I asked one of the other fathers what happened and he said grounder to short with a E-6 overthrow at first and E9 overthrow at 3rd.   He said he did hit it pretty good and got an RBI for the guy on 3rd scoring though

When I got home I explained to my wife that from now on the term Homerun was to only be used if he hit it over the fence and ran around the bases.

2022NYC posted:

Great stories! My better half still believes that if the bat hits the ball, it is still a hit even if the fielder makes an out, because she thinks only strike outs are outs. This is why I sit far far away in the OF foul line

It look me a LONG time to understand:  my kid hits the ball and gets on base.  But it isn't a hit because the runner to 2nd got out.  Fielders choice.  But my kid hit the ball!  And got on base!  Waddayamean it isn't a hit???

Earlier days, when I was traveling too much for work, I usually had a good support network back home in the stands/gym/arena.  If one of the kids did something particularly good, they would look to verify that my better half was again distracted and engaged in social hour and they would send me a text with the info.

  Sometimes, much later, wife would send me a text saying "so-and-so said (son/daughter) did a good (hit/shot/catch/spike/goal/vault) ".   Me - "really? tell me more about it!"  Her - "shoot, I turned away for one second and I missed it". 

My wife comes from a family that could careless about sports. It was boating, horses and grilling. When our boys starting playing sports it was absolutely comical the things she would say. I remember calling her to ask how the kids did. "How did Jake hit today?" Oh he did great. He hit the ball in the air it was real high. And one time he almost made it to first base but they stopped him. 

One of the craziest things she ever said happened when my son was in college. My son was up and we had a runner on 3rd with 1 out in the bottom of the 9th. She says "He needs to hit a home run." No honey we just need a sac fly, base hit, error, passed ball anything but a pop up or strike out." NO he needs to hit a home run. Well he hit a home run and my wife says "See I told you!"

The funny thing is over the years she was always the one that was right with the important stuff. She didn't understand the strategy, she didn't understand the rules. But when it came to the stuff that really mattered she was always right and I learned to listen. 

2022NYC posted:

Great stories! My better half still believes that if the bat hits the ball, it is still a hit even if the fielder makes an out, because she thinks only strike outs are outs. This is why I sit far far away in the OF foul line

Early in my son's baseball journey, my wife would relay how our son "hit" the ball when I was unable to attend his games.  When I inquired as to what happened, it was usually, "Oh, he was out at first" or "they caught it in the outfield."  Took her a while to understand what a "hit" really was.   For a while all I could do was shake my head.   Usually ended up talking to my son or some friends that were at the game to find out what really happened.

I will give her credit - by the time he was playing HS ball, she was well versed in most baseball terminology.

My experience with my wife and her immersion into any sport was it was directly proportional to how good her child was at playing the game.  Oldest was a daydreamer so he would stand to the side in soccer or pick daisy's in the outfield so she would have a gab fest.

But 2nd and 3rd could play.  At 10 I got the story above - by 12 I was getting grilled about batting order strategy on the travel team such as "Why is so and so hitting 2nd? - He never gets on base."

Our 4th and 5th were girls and she became a softball mom.  If you are unaware these are vicious creatures that should be avoided whenever possible.  Crazed Wolverines come to mind.

She actually ran me out of softball because "you don't understand girls".  This was the result of me asking my daughter why she was lobbing throws from 3rd to first.  Turns out she was worried the 1st baseman might not catch it and get hit with the ball.  My solution - hit her in the face so she'll learn to catch or find something else to do.  My wife's solution..."Shut up or STAY HOME"  In hindsight I might have to admit she was right and I really didn't understand girls.

At times she could be as entertaining as the games themselves.  She never could understand how I could wander down the OF line all by myself and just watch.  I never told her that she was the biggest reason for that....the price would have been too high.

 

I laughed so hard in the crazed softball mother’s comment. My daughter played. I coached from kiddie ball through 18u Gold. It is so true. Mother’s of travel soccer girls may be worse. 

The biggest difference I found between coaching boys and girls is if you chew out a boy the other players are just happy it’s not them and razz him afterwards. If you chew out a girl they’re like a pack. You have an entire team of ticked off girls. 

My wife is now has a great understanding of the game and even knows a balk.  But when we started.  I called one day to ask how my son was pitching.  She said he was striking everybody out.  I asked the score and she said 2-6 (I had taught her that you always give your score first).  I said dear if he is striking everybody out how did the score 6?  Her answer was he had struck everybody out except the ones who got hits. 

But she was a great little league coach.  I was coaching varsity and little league with my older boys.  I had a conflict and knew we could beat the other team so I gave her the lineup and the pitching order for the night.  Helped I had the three best pitchers who were also three best hitters in the league.  I got home that night and asked how the game went.  My two sons said "Mom ran the score up on the other team."  I asked what the score was and she said only 32-1.  I asked why did you score that many on that team.  She said "they couldn't get us out.  Not my fault."

The next day I got a call from Rec Director.  I went in and he said there was a complaint from the other coach who was sitting in the lobby that I ran the score up on him the night before.  I asked the rec director if he was there and he said no.  With a very loud voice so the other guy could hear me, I said my wife coached last night and if I got beat 32-1 by a woman who knows nothing about baseball I would be suicidal today not complaining.  She was never allowed to coach my teams again.

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