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I recently passed by a HS JV game.  I knew the kid in the batter's box.  He's a 16-year who has been playing baseball for 8 years now.

His dad was positioned directly behind the backstop with his nose practically up against the fence during the AB.

Literally, as the kid is in the box and as the pitcher was in his delivery, the dad is talking to the kid. "Stay back, extend through. Remember, stay back. Stay back and extend through." Like it was on a recorded loop. Repeatedly. And, it was loud enough that I could hear it from 40 feet away.

Why do people do this?

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What's The Thought Process?...The parent is trying to help, but doesn't realize their kid is almost an adult that can (and will eventually) make decisions without them.   I coached a talented switch-hitting kid who's Dad would tell him which side of the plate to hit from based on what the pitcher threw.  That was quite a sad situation.  At some point as a parent, you've got to "cut the cord" and I'm not talking about cable.

As always, JMO.

Last edited by fenwaysouth

An unfortunate manifestation of a parent's innate desire for their kid to do well.  We've all probably gone a bit overboard at some point.  Some, maybe, more visibly than others.  What is interesting is the variety of ways it plays out, as is glaringly evident in this famous ten page golden thread...  

https://community.hsbaseballwe...ool-baseball-watcher

For each, you could probably ask "what's the thought process?"

 

Last edited by cabbagedad

Why would anyone give this any thought? It’s enough to raise your own kids and set a good example. 

Some dads want it worse for their kids than the kid. For some reason they believe their kid’s success or failure in sports reflects back on them.

A friend was an All American baseball player and played two years of basketball at an SEC. He made it to AAA. At a middle school baseball game he made a humorous, but astute observation about his average athlete son and his ex wife. He quietly said to me at a game, “Damn! It is possible to pollute the family athlete gene pool with the wrong marriage.” His daughter, from his second marriage went on to be a D1 athlete.

 

Last edited by RJM

I cringe when I see those types of parents.   It is the child's journey, not the parents.

On a bright sunny day in the summer I sit back & enjoy the atmosphere.  I feel bad for the families who seem to miss out on appreciating the moments.  Strike out or laser beam double, it is his path, not mine.

I also think it is funny that parents pay for great coaches to coach their kids on travel teams but then think they should coach the kid, too.  The travel team director for my son's team (and who he goes to for hitting lessons) played several years in the minor leagues and had some iconic all time greats as teammates & coaches.  He then went on to be a college coach before starting the travel program.  He has truly forgotten way more about Baseball than I have ever known.  It would be just the complete height of ego, cluelessness & crassness for me to think I should coach my kid from the stands...

Never really thought much about it.  I would imagine he does it with intentions of helping his kid.  Its probably a combination of anxiety and just plain ole not knowing any better.  

My son is 14 and this is my first year to watch him play and not coach him.  There are times when it isn't easy.  There are times when I have to bite my tongue.  What makes it easier is thinking back to when I was coaching how it made me feel when parents were all up against the fence like that.       

 

I had the pleasure once of having to run a dad off from behind the backstop once because he was calling pitches for his kid that didn’t jive with what I was giving the catcher from the bench in little league. Had to explain to him that when his son was on the field he was mine. He removed himself to the outfield for rest of the season and son had an incredible year on the mound! Never had to speak another word to the dad. Sometimes parents don’t realize the damage they are inflicting on their kids

Heard the same thing from a coaching staff last night during the entire ballgame while their guys were hitting.  "Keep your weight back, eye on ball through the swing, drive off back foot, and on and on and on."  I wanted to yell, it's not practice.  Let him do his thing if you have taught him these things in practice.  I don't mean a batter but almost every batter at every at bat.  If there was a scout there, I'm sure he would have liked to have gone to the coach and said let me see what they can do on their own.

Francis7 posted:

I recently passed by a HS JV game.  I knew the kid in the batter's box.  He's a 16-year who has been playing baseball for 8 years now.

His dad was positioned directly behind the backstop with his nose practically up against the fence during the AB.

Literally, as the kid is in the box and as the pitcher was in his delivery, the dad is talking to the kid. "Stay back, extend through. Remember, stay back. Stay back and extend through." Like it was on a recorded loop. Repeatedly. And, it was loud enough that I could hear it from 40 feet away.

Why do people do this?

Its annoying, isn't it?  Its the kind of annoying behavior that you like to see corrected as nobody likes to listen to that.  Another thing that nobody likes being subjected to is a steady diet of poorly veiled humble brags about their 15 year old child. That isn't the purpose of this forum.

These dads drives me nuts! In our team (11-12 years old) we got a few crazies. It’s heartbreaking to watch. Every thing the kid do is criticize, analyzes and shout out loud! The kids are good players but the dad makes is so difficult for them! They play without fun! Never a compliment or “good job” “have fun” comment! It’s instructions, criticism, degrading comments, anger! What’s worse is the moms sit in silence when the dads torture the child or VV the mom is the criticizer! We even have a dad and mom crazy ganging up and spewing insults at the child! Even if the child cried they don’t stop.

I cry inside for these young men! I don’t get how they don’t see the hurt they are causing for the next blood generation! The cycle continues and it’s alarmingly sad! 

We see this a lot in teaching - it even has a name. "Lawnmower Parenting" or "Snowplow Parenting". A parent tries to remove all obstacles for their child. They try to make the path as easy as possible by constantly teaching and coaching and directing. They take care of issues that arise that might cause their kid problems.

What these parents fail to realize is that they are raising kids who will be incapable of doing anything for themselves. When they face challenges they will not how to react or deal with them because mom or dad is not around.

I have no doubt these parents have the best intentions for their kids, but they are actually crippling them rather than helping them. 

adbono posted:
Francis7 posted:

I recently passed by a HS JV game.  I knew the kid in the batter's box.  He's a 16-year who has been playing baseball for 8 years now.

His dad was positioned directly behind the backstop with his nose practically up against the fence during the AB.

Literally, as the kid is in the box and as the pitcher was in his delivery, the dad is talking to the kid. "Stay back, extend through. Remember, stay back. Stay back and extend through." Like it was on a recorded loop. Repeatedly. And, it was loud enough that I could hear it from 40 feet away.

Why do people do this?

Its annoying, isn't it?  Its the kind of annoying behavior that you like to see corrected as nobody likes to listen to that.  Another thing that nobody likes being subjected to is a steady diet of poorly veiled humble brags about their 15 year old child. That isn't the purpose of this forum.

Steady diet?

Francis7 posted:
adbono posted:
Francis7 posted:

I recently passed by a HS JV game.  I knew the kid in the batter's box.  He's a 16-year who has been playing baseball for 8 years now.

His dad was positioned directly behind the backstop with his nose practically up against the fence during the AB.

Literally, as the kid is in the box and as the pitcher was in his delivery, the dad is talking to the kid. "Stay back, extend through. Remember, stay back. Stay back and extend through." Like it was on a recorded loop. Repeatedly. And, it was loud enough that I could hear it from 40 feet away.

Why do people do this?

Its annoying, isn't it?  Its the kind of annoying behavior that you like to see corrected as nobody likes to listen to that.  Another thing that nobody likes being subjected to is a steady diet of poorly veiled humble brags about their 15 year old child. That isn't the purpose of this forum.

Steady diet?

Yes. A steady diet. That means all the time.  I have tried to be good natured about this and not have to call you out publicly. But if you want to spar with me instead of taking a hint I won’t at all mind noting specifics.  What you don’t seem to understand is that there are people on this board whose kids (and them) have done amazing things. And you never see them posting brags.  On the other hand you post every possible brag about your kid and attempt to cloak it in a disguise. “Do kids wear Varsity letter jackets in your town?”  Really?!? Like the point of that isn’t to let everyone know your freshman kid made Varsity. Cmon man!  Nobody cares !!  But you couldn’t stop there, could you!? You had to follow up with more posts about uniform numbers and Varsity jerseys. Ridiculous! There is so much wrong with so many of your posts but to sum it up politely I would say that most of them offend my sensibility. 

Francis7 posted:

No worries. I plan on disappearing from the internet within the next year.

If your son wants to play college baseball the next three years will be relevant and past participation irrelvant. Also, parents can learn more here than how to help their kids along the journey. They can learn how to be athlete’s parents. 

Last edited by RJM
adbono posted:
Francis7 posted:
adbono posted:
Francis7 posted:

I recently passed by a HS JV game.  I knew the kid in the batter's box.  He's a 16-year who has been playing baseball for 8 years now.

His dad was positioned directly behind the backstop with his nose practically up against the fence during the AB.

Literally, as the kid is in the box and as the pitcher was in his delivery, the dad is talking to the kid. "Stay back, extend through. Remember, stay back. Stay back and extend through." Like it was on a recorded loop. Repeatedly. And, it was loud enough that I could hear it from 40 feet away.

Why do people do this?

Its annoying, isn't it?  Its the kind of annoying behavior that you like to see corrected as nobody likes to listen to that.  Another thing that nobody likes being subjected to is a steady diet of poorly veiled humble brags about their 15 year old child. That isn't the purpose of this forum.

Steady diet?

Yes. A steady diet. That means all the time.  I have tried to be good natured about this and not have to call you out publicly. But if you want to spar with me instead of taking a hint I won’t at all mind noting specifics.  What you don’t seem to understand is that there are people on this board whose kids (and them) have done amazing things. And you never see them posting brags.  On the other hand you post every possible brag about your kid and attempt to cloak it in a disguise. “Do kids wear Varsity letter jackets in your town?”  Really?!? Like the point of that isn’t to let everyone know your freshman kid made Varsity. Cmon man!  Nobody cares !!  But you couldn’t stop there, could you!? You had to follow up with more posts about uniform numbers and Varsity jerseys. Ridiculous! There is so much wrong with so many of your posts but to sum it up politely I would say that most of them offend my sensibility. 

I find the irony here thick...

On one hand you have a guy displaying a proclivity for posting nonsensical threads. He's been called out for it both here and other sites yet lacks the self-control to stop. 

On the other hand, you have a poster opening a thread that he knows is going to push his buttons and then responding to it. Thus displaying a total lack of self-control.

Pot, meet kettle.

Let’s not drive Francis off. He’s not getting personal with anyone. His posts can be ignored. If it’s that bad there’s the “ignore” function.

Right now his son’s goal is to play college ball in the future. It will take help. Isn’t there a coaching philosophy of don’t penalize the kid for the sins of the father? 

Now I have an important question. If you carpeted Florida how long would it take to vacuum?

Last edited by RJM
RJM posted:

Let’s not drive Francis off. He’s not getting personal with anyone. His posts can be ignored. If it’s that bad there’s the “ignore” function.

Right now his son’s goal is to play college ball in the future. It will take help. Isn’t there a coaching philosophy of don’t penalize the kid for the sins of the father? 

Now I have an important question. If you carpeted Florida how long would it take to vacuum?

 

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