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What's your method to relax while watching Junior play?

doubledaydoubleday100+ posts
I thought watching my kids compete would get easier as they got older. As it relates to this site, I have a son who is a Freshman SS at the D1 level and will be the starter opening day for his college team.

No matter what the level (little league, high school, summer travel, etc...) I have always been nervous/anxious during his games, and that's not like me at all. I'm not a loud, cheerleader type parent, nor would I ever think of yelling advice to him from the stands...he would kill me.

A few years back when he started playing high school ball I started keeping a book. It took my mind off of what he was or was not specifically doing and made me focus on the entire game. That worked for awhile until my wife found that it did the same for her...she's OCD to boot so all the lines have to be perfectly straight...there went my score keeping...just seems silly to keep 2 books in the family Smile

Once the book was taken away from me I started to sit/stand/walk in various places. I will sit in different seats depending on if things are going well or not, I may stand, walk down the lines, etc...I guess you could call it superstition, burning off nervous energy, or just being a few bricks short of a load.

Knowing the passion that you all have for the game and for your kids playing...what do you do to relax and enjoy the games instead of constantly being on edge? I will only get to see 20-25 of his 56 regular season games in person and will try to watch the rest on streaming video and/or listen to the radio broadcast online and want to enjoy them! Although it may work, drinking a 6 pack before/during the game is not the answer I'm looking for!
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trojan-skippertrojan-skipper1,000+ posts
here's me and this probably proves I am weird. Football and baseball I am very relaxed while my boys play. During wrestling or basketball I am a twisted bundle of nerves... totally uptight and just want to bust. The other night after a wrestling match I had a muscle spasm in my neck something terrible... well it was because I was sitting there all tense during my boys matches.
During football or baseball I just chill with some seeds or popcorn and the world goes by just fine... but those indoor sports somehow tie me into knots.
coach2709coach270910,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by trojan-skipper:
here's me and this probably proves I am weird. Football and baseball I am very relaxed while my boys play. During wrestling or basketball I am a twisted bundle of nerves... totally uptight and just want to bust. The other night after a wrestling match I had a muscle spasm in my neck something terrible... well it was because I was sitting there all tense during my boys matches.
During football or baseball I just chill with some seeds or popcorn and the world goes by just fine... but those indoor sports somehow tie me into knots.


It's the bleachers. They are murder on the back and it moves to the neck. I think they were invented by a chiropractor.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
Believe it or not I don't get tense watching my kids play. I attribute it to a few things. What works for me may not work for others. 1) I played sports and had my successes. I'm not living through my kids. 2) In non school sports I was often the coach. I was too occupied with the big picture to focus on my kids. 3) By high school both my two kids were playing key positions in five sports. I decided I had the choice of enjoying the experience or getting an ulcer.

I believe the day I knew I had this thing licked was a LL all-star semi final. The team was the favorite to win the district. They were down three, no one on, two outs in the last inning. A mother asked why I didn't look tense. I told her it's the boy's game, not mine. They scored four and won with two outs.

The only time I've been tense about my kid's sports was when my son experienced two major injuries. He missed the entire recruiting season after junior year. I was upset thinking his dream was being derailed. I got upset over nothing. My son assured me it would all work out.

More than anything I feel blessed my kids have been able to pursue their sports journies as far as they have. It's worth celebrating as opposed to getting an ulcer. Among all the kids who started sports in kiddie ball my kids are/were still standing in college. Better yet, they're the biggest stars in my life with bigger things than sports to accomplish before their lives are over.

Note: I tend to watch quietly an analyze the game like a coach a opposed to make noise like a fan. I always stayed away from the complainers which isn't the problem in college sports as it was in high school.
Last edited by RJM
P Prime91,000+ posts
My methods to beat anxiety are the same as yours with similar results.

I scored and taught the wife but she liked it so much (kept her from having to listen and confer with gossiping moms) she took it over. I then resorted to pacing and watching the game from various vantage points settling on the one where he gets the best results.

My anxiety hasn't lessened much at the College level. Am considering heavy drinking before I go in hopes that my senses will dull in the stupor. But then, I'd miss the good stuff.

I do feel I've adapted my behavior to what I've seen from the more seasoned, veteran parents and actually look at the game much less seriously than I used too which has been a very good thing!
Last edited by Prime9
55mom55mom1,000+ posts
I take pictures. I got the camera 6 years ago (canon rebel) and it still looks "fancy" so folks don't come by to talk as they think you are doing something wonderfully creative. Plus you have an easy excuse to to walk away or simply not talk if they try to talk.

Son has always done well, but I still get nervous. Husband doesn't .... probably due to reasons similar to rjm's. He likes to talk and sometimes he and his buds start cackling like hens. Then I'm asked "what's so funny?", and since I'm 20 feet away, I don't know! lol

well anyway.... camera and tums....
Y YesReally100+ posts
When I was anxious watching my kids play years ago - I kept reminding myself that my anxiety had no impact on the their performance or the outcome of the game. It helped a little.

I have been known to do crossword puzzles during the game - it does not prevent me from watching - just acts like a commercial distraction between innings.

I was seldom anxious when my boys were playing their best positions - but when they were playing elsewhere I had a little more axiety.
fenwaysouthfenwaysouth10,000+ posts
quote:
RJM said......Note: I tend to watch quietly an analyze the game like a coach a opposed to make noise like a fan. I always stayed away from the complainers which isn't the problem in college sports as it was in high school.


Analyzing the game is my secret. I look to see who is doing what to whom & when to be successful.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
The other day in the choke thread I mentioned giving up walk off homers in both ends of a doubleheader in college. When my kids are competing, as Hammer said, "Can't touch this!" I've had the experience of "Stuff happens." "Stuff" has happened to my kids before. It will happen again.
doubledaydoubleday100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by AntzDad:
I don't get nervous or anxious, at all. It's not me out there. Smile


That's what makes it so tough. I didn't get nervous at all when I played. I think it's a lot easier to relax when you're in control or at least in between the lines. I think it's why I'm totally relaxed driving a car, but a basket case when my 16 year old daughter drives and I'm in the passenger seat!...perhaps that nervousness is well founded
CollegeParentNoMoreCollegeParentNoMore1,000+ posts
quote:
I take pictures. I got the camera 6 years ago (canon rebel) and it still looks "fancy" so folks don't come by to talk as they think you are doing something wonderfully creative


Taking pictures is also a nice way to get up closer or view from the visitors dugout side because no one will say anything to you .....unless you try to to complain/cheer outloud at the sametime.

A camera is also good for a parent that talks to much as they will be forced to be silent or risk being asked to leave the good shooting locations on a field (usually near a dugout or the backstop)!

fyi the point and shoots aren't very good for taking consistently useable pictures at a game, a low end Nikon or Cannon digital SLR that's about the same price as a higher end point and shoot is a much better choice.
MizzoubaseballMizzoubaseball1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by RJM:
Believe it or not I don't get tense watching my kids play. I attribute it to a few things. What works for me may not work for others. 1) I played sports and had my successes. I'm not living through my kids. 2) In non school sports I was often the coach. I was too occupied with the big picture to focus on my kids. 3) By high school both my two kids were playing key positions in five sports. I decided I had the choice of enjoying the experience or getting an ulcer.

I believe the day I knew I had this thing licked was a LL all-star semi final. The team was the favorite to win the district. They were down three, no one on, two outs in the last inning. A mother asked why I didn't look tense. I told her it's the boy's game, not mine. They scored four and won with two outs.

The only time I've been tense about my kid's sports was when my son experienced two major injuries. He missed the entire recruiting season after junior year. I was upset thinking his dream was being derailed. I got upset over nothing. My son assured me it would all work out.

More than anything I feel blessed my kids have been able to pursue their sports journies as far as they have. It's worth celebrating as opposed to getting an ulcer. Among all the kids who started sports in kiddie ball my kids are/were still standing in college. Better yet, they're the biggest stars in my life with bigger things than sports to accomplish before their lives are over.

Note: I tend to watch quietly an analyze the game like a coach a opposed to make noise like a fan. I always stayed away from the complainers which isn't the problem in college sports as it was in high school.


I can see your point in a way, but I disagree. Just because you get nervous doenst mean you are living through your child. That would be equivalent to me saying "I must love my son because I get nervous for him and you dont" Neither make any sense whatsoever.
I always coached also and couldnt spend time worrying about my son either, so it seems now I am making up for lost time.

I would hope that any success my kids have on the athletic field will pale in comparison to everything else in life. I am sure I will have quite a few sleepless nights after they graduate from college and start job hunting, the day after they buy their first house, when they are expecting children. I will always worry over my kids.
YoungGunDadYoungGunDadHSBaseballWeb member since 2005
quote:
Originally posted by Prime9:

I then resorted to pacing and watching the game from various vantage points settling on the one where he gets the best results.



I can attest to Prime's stealth movements firsthand. He's like a fruit fly. One moment he's to the right of you, blink, and then he's to the left. Never stands still!

YGD
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
I can see your point in a way, but I disagree. Just because you get nervous doenst mean you are living through your child. That would be equivalent to me saying "I must love my son because I get nervous for him and you dont" Neither make any sense whatsoever.
I was not trying to make a point all parents who get nervous are living through their kid. However there are some. I know people who thrive on their kid's success because being the parent of (player) is their identity.
C calisportsfan100+ posts
Trojan...sounds to me like outdoor sports are more relaxing to you and indoors you can't escape feeling nervous. I prefer being outside in all aspects of life.

Baseball has always been relaxing to me. Perhaps because the pace is slow and you can see the action unfold. Unlike a sport like s****r where the whole game could change on one stupid goal! It may be the only one in a game. At least a baseball game unfolds slowly.

If scorekeeping worked, and I do keep score, try using an Ipad and GameChanger. It's fun to learn a new way and the stats it produces are amazing at the click of a finger. You can track literally everything you can imagine or just what you choose. You can see how many first pitch stike fast balls junior doesn't swing at! It's really fun to get good at something again and I am not "techie"Smile.
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