Who's to blame?

FUNGO, The emotional involvement that a parent has with their child is almost like a "drug"
that totally removes the ability to think rationally. The "child" can do no wrong under any
circumstances. Was talking to an athletic director of an opposing school(an old friend from
years past) who was telling me that he was seriously thinking of retiring because of parents irrational behavior. He actually caught one of the star football players having s**
in the hallway during school and the parents raised h*** when he was suspended. Said they
did not think it warranted the action???? He said it is happening all the time and in most
circumstances the parents are blaming the school for their childrens' misdeeds. Says he's
tired of fighting it anymore.

Last night at a baseball game in the first inning the father of the opposing pitcher yelled
at the top of his lungs "THROW HIS A$$ OUT!!!". This was in response to the second batter
for our team missing a pitch and losing his balance and falling across the plate and interferring with the catcher trying to throw to second to get the runner who had singled
previously. The umpire had already called the batter out. Four MLB scouts were standing
right next to the guy and looked at each other with puzzled looks on their faces. This
guy kept it up for the whole game-even after his son was replaced on the mound.

This is probably the same guy that says all the things you have stated in your post.
Absolutely clueless.

Fungo-
I just wanted to say that the last couple years our HS team had a group of parents just like you describe above...maybe worse. They were loud and rude, yelling things out to the coach during the games. It was embarrassing to me to be a part of the group and caused me to watch most of the games from the visitors side. It was also very embarrassing to some of the kids.

Some took it a step further by taking out their frustration on some on the players. Some parents were very upset when my son took the position from an upper classmen a few years ago. Every time he would make an error or not hit the ball while at bat they would scream "Theres your superstar, Coach!"

They were like a cancer to the team. The worst had sons who graduated last year, so I am looking forward to a better year.

Most of this kind of parents that fungo talking about are ignorants about baseball. A parent with some knowledge about baseball will respect the coach, the other players, and the game.

What Fungo speaks of is the reason I stayed down the left field line and enjoyed the game

If I sat in the stands with the "nut job parents" there would have been problems

Trhit

I stayed behind the right field fence.

First of all, I will say I don't know why coaches coach sometimes. If I had to put up with some of the "nut jobs" as TR calls them - I would say goodbye! Obviously, they're not into it for the pay.

Croll - I feel for you - what a rude group of people.

This type of behavior is contagious. It breeds. We're fortunate on my son's team as the parents are mostly supportive of one another and the kids - however there's almost always 1-2 in a group.

I think the best thing we as parents can do is to ignor people when they act like this - don't buy into the behavior. Help to make your team one that shows class, respect, and support of the kids and the coach. I have noticed that these rude ignorant people usually get rewarded with no one befriending them, their child doesn't get recruited (word gets around), and generally live a miserable life. We all make choices in life - unfortunately the "nut jobs" have picked a long road for themselves. They're the ones missing out. Unfortunately for us - we just have to learn to deal with them and tune them out when possible.

We have a couple of parents that yell at the umps and opposing players. Man, they are an embarrassment to the team and the school. I, too, try to stay away from these parents by sitting down by the left field line or sitting next to the consession stand.

quote:

their child doesn't get recruited (word gets around)

lafmom-
the boys of the parents in my post did not go on to play baseball after HS.

What is described here is the reason why some coaches decide to do other things with their time. These will be the people that go behind your back and stir things up. You know the anonymous letters complaining how you are a bad coach and there should be a change. these types of parents should be kept at a distance. You do not want these types running your booster club or anything similar. If you do opt for such organizations you always take that chance.

quote:

these types of parents should be kept at a distance.

How is that done?

Maybe our teams are extraordinary, but I can only recall one loud "nut case" parent and that was in another sport. Virtually all parents, from my experience, are good sports, and real assets to the team.

It doesn't happen often, but nothing is more wonderful than when WE applaud an outstanding play by the opposing team.
t

One thing I find common today is that high school coaches have meetings with parents. I never had one during my tenure. the kids made the team they played parents watched we went home. It seems that recently parents have to be instructed in what they are to expect of their sons participation. Why? Have the rules of baseball changed? No but evidently what goes on in and around it has.

Let's not forget the 'schmoozer' parent. The one who is smooth as silk to the coaches face-"great job Coach", etc. --then will tell anyone who will listen what an idiot the coach is and complain about EVERYTHING the coach does. Those sort are even more disgusting that the outright jerks. My grandfather had a great saying: "If you keep spitting in the air, eventually it will land on your face". Those people will be soaked!

quote:

Originally posted by fan1516:
Let's not forget the 'schmoozer' parent. The one who is smooth as silk to the coaches face-"great job Coach", etc. --then will tell anyone who will listen what an idiot the coach is and complain about EVERYTHING the coach does. Those sort are even more disgusting that the outright jerks. My grandfather had a great saying: "If you keep spitting in the air, eventually it will land on your face". Those people will be soaked!

Well, one of those two parents I was speaking of earlier does this very same thing. So, I guess this parent is just plain out of their mind.

I agree that you just have to ignore them. I try my best.

quote:

Originally posted by Racab:
Most of this kind of parents that fungo talking about are ignorants about baseball. A parent with some knowledge about baseball will respect the coach, the other players, and the game.

There are an awful lot of parents that are like that and it's hard not to laugh out loud at what some of them have to say.

On the other hand, I wish my son's coach would quit giving him the take sign EVERY TIME the kid in front of him gets the steal sign. Call a hit and run once in a while, coach, my boy is letting a lot of nice looking pitches go by. Geesh. (Smirking behind the keyboard.)

I know parents get some bashing here. I know I have posted some not too flattering posts about the subject of what we see as "problems". But the majority are great. During my tenure we had success and we have received awards etc etc. I have 2 letters written by parents of players thanking me for helping their sons. How I influenced their life not only in baseball but other things. Means more to me than championships. so I who at times can be critical of what goes on with some parents am grateful to those who we dont moan and groan about.

It seems like educaters want parents to get more involved in the children's lives. Until they do get more involved, then they are interfering. You do send mixed messages.

Truths:

1. Schools, and for that matter child rearing "experts", do highly encourage significant involvement by parents in the lives/activites of their children.

2. Through Little League levels, parents are deeply involved, for better or worse, as fund-raisers, coaches, umpires, field crews, etc.

3. When high school sports come into the picture, all of a sudden mom and dad are told to stay out, absent extreme circumstances-cheer for the team, verbally support the program, and don't make waves.

4. Most parents, are good, kind and decent people, wanting what's best for their kids and for other people's kids. Very few of us don't think that we're "nice people".

5. There are loud-mouthed parents that act like idiots. They happen.

6. There are coaches that would be better off, and their players would be better off, if they got out of coaching. Most coaches are underpaid, overworked, under-appreciated. Some are egomaniacs that would be jerks in any field of employment.

7. Some coaches relate well to players, command their respect, and can handle parent issues, if they arise. Some can't, don't, and don't.

If you're a coach with a good program and good parents, be thankful and appreciative. If you're a parent and your kids have a coach that commands respect and knows the game, be thankful. A bad apple parent may come along, but that parent's kid will eventually graduate. If a parent has a bad apple coach, unfortunately there's not much you can effectively do. Life isn't always fair. If you're powerless to change a situation, make the best of it.

(We've been lucky enough to enjoy having good coaches for our sons in most high school sports, and for that we're thankful.)

Whining isn't helpful, except to your wife and your dog. They have to listen. Well, at least the dog does.

Truth indeed. Great post.

Keep in mind that youth leagues prior to HS are for the large part are "volunteer" situations---you get to the high school and the rules change---no more "volunteers" or "daddy ball"--this is the first step in "cutting the parental strings" and for some this brings severe "withdrawal" thus the "nut case" parents--some just cannot adapt to the new situation

TR,

I'll disagree repectively just a wee tad bit-a group of us old-timers/fathers take care of the grounds, raise money for improvements, mow, mark the field prior to games, drag, rake,etc. etc., so we still volunteer (and truth be known have a ball doing it), but our influence regarding the running of the program, real and perceived, is zip/nada/nothing.

Loads more fun than taking care of the lawn at home!