Your Kid & My Kid Are Not Playing In The Pros

Thanks for posting.

It's an interesting article as are all articles on the topic of finding a balance for our kid's pursuits.  I think the good doctor is a little jaded, perhaps because he is on the front lines in the ER.   

Great article. Brings back focus on the really important things in our lives. Agree; balance is key.

Seems like a lot of projection, exaggeration, and judgment packed into that one.

 

Are some "travel" parents what he presents? Sure.

 

Are all "travel" parents that way? - Nope, but that doesn't make for an interesting article does it?

 

Instead of an ER doctor - why not dig up a shrink or two and have them talk about all those kids who practice for hours to get a shot at first chair in the school orchestra? How about the kids that contemplate suicide because they fear their parent's reaction when they bring home a "B" on their report card? Do we have some sort of speculation on how many times those kids will be calling home when they get older?

 

Despite the fact that my son is one of these "travel" baseball players, I think we have a pretty good relationship. We go to the movies together, we eat together, we go to the gym together, sometimes we just hang out and talk.  Somehow he manages to also fit in school, baseball, his girlfriend and occasionally some sleep.

 

I'm not worried about whether or not he will call me often when he gets older.  We have a good bond - and much of it came from spending time together while doing this "travel" baseball thing.  When I get old and senile, he's promised to put me in a nursing home that has pudding at lunch everyday.  That's true love.

Here's the opposite case (and he DID make it to the major leagues and played for 4 seasons):

http://www.baseball-fever.com/...dex.php/t-69529.html

 

"Imagine you're in the ninth grade and you have an important assignment due. You are to write a paper detailing your future career and how you plan to achieve it. You need to research and be as specific as possible in listing the necessary steps to achieve your goal; what education is important, what experience is needed; everything you need to accomplish you dream job will need to be visualized, examined and expressed in the paper to be presented to your class. It's a pass or fail assignment and it's important. It's especially important to you because you are a smart kid with good grades and a bright future ahead.

So you know what you are going to be, that's the easy part. Even your Mom has known since you were 2 years old what you were going to be. She wrote it in your baby book. Most of your living waking hours have been consumed with your dream job as long as you can remember. You know you "want" it, and no one will stop you. But you do the research, find out there really is more trials, work and determination needed to achieve your dream - and it motivates you more!

You finish the paper. And it's a masterpiece. No, it's the blueprints of your future laid out in front of you. You see what it takes, you know what it takes and you're ready to go take it on!

And you get up in front of your class and you give the report of a lifetime; the report of your lifetime, Your Future: Every drop of sweat is detailed, every drop of blood is laid out on paper, every tear of joy you will cry is there before you. You are going to be a Major League Baseball player!

And the teacher says "No, this isn't good enough. You can't be a Major League Baseball player."

You just poured your hopes, wishes, dreams and everything you have ever wanted in life into this otherwise meaningless piece of paper. And she just poured it down the drain. "

"What? What do you mean I can't be a Major League Baseball player?" you ask.

"Rewrite the paper or you're going to fail the assignment" the teacher retorts. "It's not realistic. You're not going to be a Major League Baseball player."

 

 

Some people project their own ambitions on to their kids.  I believe the doctor when he says he sees extremes in society.  I also agree with Rob T when he says everyone is not that way. 

 

The premise that most kids won't become pros is also basically true but obviously it can't always be true or we would not have pro sports.  If you believe your kid has pro potential, foster their love of the game and let the parental ambition stuff go.  Don't push them based on your ambitions but enjoy the time to share something in common with them and just maybe someday they'll beat the odds. 

Ok, so according to this doctor, I have my son or daughter play travel ball because I'm afraid he'll she'll be rejected and shoot up a school or be a porn star?  Or is it because I have a cultist mentality and blindly follow my sports programs, to the point I'll kill myself and others.  This is an excellent article?  Sorry, but this article was a complete waste of time.     

So, where is the line?  Obviously if you are asking if extra padding will be enough to protect a kids spleen from rupturing you have crossed the line....but the other scenario....

 

"When I inform you as a parent that your child has just ruptured their ACL ligament or Achilles tendon, if the next question out of your mouth is, "How long until he or she will be able to play?" you have a serious problem."

 

Well...it would be my kids first question and I'm his parent and advocate so why wouldn't it be my first question?  What's wrong with that?

 

I believe the doctor is talking about parents, who the first words out of their mouth are ,"When can he play again", or "can he still play with this injury." 

He is not condemning all families that play travel ball.

 

I understand that you are your son's advocate, and that may be the first thing they want to know. But as parents it is our responsibility to temper and guide our children, help them learn priorities and set expectations. I would guide my son to ask what it will take to get well. What that timeline might be and then see when they may play.

I have been an emergency room with my son after a serious injury, and I know how tempting it can be, But the focus needs to be getting well and then what he has to do when he is ready to play again. 

So to sum up as a result of this practical advice, I have an idea. Let's just allow our kids to do whatever they want, whenever they want. No pressure there and with that also comes these benefits....LOADS of free time to experiment and get into various things due to boredom and pent up energy, watching more TV (with Netflix....they may never leave the couch), no pressure to improve or be better at anything.... i mean what effort does it take to be better at sitting on the couch watching Big Bang Theory eating cheetos? Last but not least, no one is ever a winner or loser because everyone is already losing at life.....so no politically-correct judgement to be passed around, in essence everyone gets a "Blue Ribbon Best Loser" award or is it best tv watcher award? Let's not forget the old "InterWeb"....i'm sure they wouldn't be watching any youtube videos on how to make a hand grenade from a turkey baster, fertilizer, babydoll head and duck tape.

 

I'll take the gate fees, long practices, early cold weather games/practices, "daddy ball", lack of son's playing time, "know-it-all-parents/coaches" and long hot summer tourneys.....and baseball over letting my kid be average in life. At least he learned to compete and that my friends will get you an edge in today's economy that is required to be successful.

 

I Agree!!!  Has anyone else noticed that today's youth feels they are entitled to what ever it is they want?  I mean if everyone makes any team they try out for, and everyone gets a "participation" award...when and how are our kids learning that if you want something you have to work for it, it won't be handed to you simply because you want it, and the MOST important lesson of all....life really isn't fair, you have to adapt.

 

I know my son is learning those skills and it will make him a better human being because of them.

Whenever one of my kids has an injury, they are the first one asking   "when can I play again?"  One even asked if he could put a sleeve over his arm cast so the umpire wouldn't notice. He was about ten at the time.  (We said no)

Or my 2017 who this past summer took a cleat to his lip while chasing a would be suicide squeeze runner back to 3rd from home, begging us to throw some tape on it so he could go back and finish 3 1/2 innings behind the dish!!!  

 

All I want for him is to play as long as he can and has the desire to do so!  

 

In middle school, one of my son's oldest friends and her mother laughed when he told them that he was going to be a professional baseball player. It stung him at the time; enough so that he carefully stuck it in the recesses of his memory, along with many other accumulated motivating thoughts.  Those thoughts became very helpful in subsequent years whenever he found himself challenged by long hours of solitary practice.

Arian Foster played youth football starting at the age of 7. Carl, (his dad) who tried and failed to make the Denver Broncos in the late 1980s, was against the idea. It was Arian’s mom who paved his way to the gridiron. A seminal moment in his childhood came soon after, when his teacher asked what he wanted to do for a living. Arian answered that he wanted to be a star in the NFL. The teacher laughed and asked what else he wanted to do. That moment continues to motivate him.

 

Ref: http://www.jockbio.com/Bios/A_...er/A_Foster_bio.html

 

I think that some of you are missing the point of the article. BishopLeftiesDad summed it up rather correctly and concisely, IMO.  This article was written about parents.
I will admit that in two situations we were guilty of getting son back on the field asap because they needed him.  That's why I agree with the response of BLD. 

 

The very sad part of this all is that this carries over when one plays professional sports.  Hurry back from an injury so the team can win, hurry back from the injury so you wont lose your turn in the rotation, because there is always someone better than you waiting to take your place . If you don't heal properly, the process starts all over again.

 

The good part of it is that your players are young and you need to set good examples for them. Instead of asking, first thing, how long before they can play again, why not ask the doctor about what can be done so that this does not happen again?  

 

This really has nothing to do with telling a player that he will never be professional player or to have them give up the dream of becoming one.  The whole idea is to keep in mind that these are young players that have lots of time in front of them before that happens, so use that time wisely.

 

 

 

 

That would be all fine and dandy if that is where the author left it.  Instead he went into some diatribe about how if your kids play travel ball they will end up caring far less about you than those who don't.  Perhaps he should have stuck to issues he was an expert in - child injuries, and not pass judgment upon others who don't share his same life style.

 

He seems so certain his children will turn out to be perfect - I'd like to know what he bases that on?  Probably the same lack of evidence he uses to prove that "travel" kids will turn out badly.

 

By the way - I'm not a big fan of travel baseball for younger kids either, so this isn't coming from one of "those" parents. I just don't make it a habit to make uninformed judgments on families who choose that path.

Well played Rob. I read this article a while back somewhere else, maybe another forum...and didn't respond to it. Anyway, wholesale indictments typically never get you very far. He does intimate that on a fairly universal scale, many driven parents who support their kids at early ages in sports with goals to be better and achieve in that sport aren't parenting correctly ( Note the Jim Jones reference who was a psychopath that killed men, women and children) and that my friends gets him a big G.F.Y. in my book. And to think, he's wearing a Yankees hat, someone should take him on a boating trip to see the fishes.

plus 1 for me Shove it on Rob's post

Life is about "getting back in the game."  Sports injuries happen.  You do the best you can to get better and get back.  Sometimes it's a week, sometimes a year or more.  If you're not pursuing getting back into the game, then what are you doing.  It's a life lesson.  Life will have setbacks - from health, family, professional, etc.  What to you do?  Quit? Or get better and get back out there?  You work with the doctor to provide the best course of action -- care, recovery, rehab, etc.  Just be smart about it.   

 Teachers and coaches and parents should quit telling little boys that when you grow up, you can be anything you want to be....giving these little guys false hope I guess.

I happen to agree with pretty much what he has to say, I am looking from the outside in, I have no dog in this fight.

 

We live in a society where our kids must be better than everyone else, from the team they play on, to the school they attend to the clothes they wear to the activities they participate in. 

 

Two weeks ago my daughters BF son played in their county "Super Bowl".  The folks got together and hired a bus, the one like pro teams use, with police escort.  My opinion was that this was a direct response to the other teams, "we are better than you". Good thing they won their division, because of the fuss they made it would have looked silly.

Is this necessary or over the top.

My niece began middle school this year, she needed a phone, she got an iphone 6. She has been in more trouble and punished using the phone when she should not. What did they expect? Just an example of what I see happening.

 

Sports injuries happen, always, that is what can make you or break you, but as a parent if you have to stress over your young travel ball player missing opportune time because of it, thats a real shame. Its just not that important.

 

JMO

 

Your children will turn out to be who you teach them to be, based on the values and goals that you help them to set regardless of whether sports are a major part of their life our not. My son and daughter have friends who never played a sport in their life and mega successful in business and their personal lives.

 

 

What a complete windbag this ER Dr. is!  He comes off as a pompous, holier than thou, jealous, clueless, idiot IMHO.  He claims that his kids will do all this extra stuff for him that travel team parents' kids won't, but I am not so sure.  Our families best vacations have been around our son's baseball, and frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.  All of us have met great friends, and I am grateful for that. 

 

Lately, I feel that my son and I have actually drawn closer by the recruiting process, and I am quite thankful for that as well.

 

I wonder how much time this guy has really spent with his kids, since he is an ER Dr.?  I bet not nearly as much as he says.  Also, what activities do his kids partake in?  Do they take music lessons? Tutoring? Ballet? Etc.? 

 

I have no doubt that some of the scenarios he mentioned are true, but I also think that happens in all walks of life.  Additionally, I don't feel it is bad to ask when son/daughter can play again.  It is a logical question, and I would say it is in son/daughter's best interest.  Why? Because wouldn't you want to make sure that your child didn't return to early and hurt themselves worse? 

 

 You are correct, that would be a good concern. But that is not the point he was making.

Very soon your son will go off on his own, it is not going to be the same, trust me.  I think that, was the point that this terrible ER doctor was trying to get across.  

 Just remember that this is one guy's opinion, and what prompted him to publish this article who knows. Caring Dr? disgruntled dad? things didn't turn out like he planned? I have no idea. I do know that each family and player are different as are their tolerance levels for playing sports. Some kids can't find their ball glove to go to practice because they haven't touched it since last Tuesday. Other kids hit, throw, or take grounder's everyday. Suggestions are ok if they are really suggestions.

 

 I'm sure that by now most people know that if you read it on the internet that it must be true.........yeah right!

I dont think the article was about kids but rather more about their parents.

I see an over the top reaction directed at parents he sees as over the top travel parents. I don't see an indictment of travel as a whole. 

 

When my son was in high school he had shoulder separation surgery in November. The ortho told him he wouldn't be able to start throwing and swinging a bat until May. My son glared at him and said, "I'll be in the lineup opening day. You're going to help me do it." For my son to say it is great. But if I had said it I'd be the crazy parent.

 

He DH'ed opening day three weeks after tossing the sling. He was back in the field two weeks later.

I guess I read the article wrong. I didn't see it as being about crazy parents. I saw it as about a non athlete just not understanding an athletes way of thinking. I remember sitting in a doctors office with my dad (who was 57 at the time) when the doctor told him he would have to have open heart surgery. The first words out of my fathers mouth. "How long before I can get back on the golf course". Personally I though it was a reasonable question. The doctor did not. Dad chose a different surgeon lol.

I think I saw it for what it truly was:  Not helpful!  I don't think he was trying to help at all.  I feel that his motivation was to berate and disrespect those whose kids are in travel ball.  I think his message could have been received much better, if he wasn't throwing in Jim Jones' type analogies.  He lost me with those types of accusations.  The article was complete garbage...

I think he started with a useful point about over pushy parents but went off the deep end.  Some writers feel they need to have a sensational point of view to be interesting, perhaps this is why he took this direction.  Regardless, I got a kick out of some of the reader comments - my favorite is this one:

 

"I mean there's no question that max Profeta isn't gonna make the pros but not every kid is cursed with your genes."

It can be your dream. But it has to be his dream. Then you can hang on for the ride with him. Why not dream big? What's wrong with a kid having a dream? I think there is everything right with it. And if for some reason that dream falls apart be there to hitch a ride on the next one. I had a former player at my house today that is in AA ball. He asked me "Coach how long should I play?" I said "As long as you still have that dream."

 

Are there parents that have a dream and then they are the one's driving it? Of course. Are there parents that have a dream and the kid has it as well? Of course.

Are there parents that have no dream for their kid? Absolutely and its so sad.

 

As a parent I had dreams for my kids.

Be responsible.

Be respectful.

Be a good person.

When its time for you to stand on your own - Be able to stand on your own.

What ever you do - love what you do.

Never have a job - have a passion.

Treat other people the way you would want to be treated.

 

And then there were those dreams that would be cool if and only when those other dreams were accomplished. But they pale in importance. They really do. And sometimes we only realized how much they pale in importance once WE get it all in perspective.

 

To me its pretty simple. Care more about the person your son is and less about what he accomplishes. Care more about the bond created and the relationship you have with him and less about the accolades others might give. And let him dream. Let him dream big. And be there to enjoy every freaking minute of it. And let him know that no matter where that dream takes him in life you love him and your proud of the man he is.

 

What else is there? What else does it need to be?

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen…the saddest are these ‘it might have been.’

Perhaps Von McDaniel was a fan of John Greenleaf Whittier…but he had only days to remember high school in 1957 when less than a week after graduation, he threw a two hit shutout against the then NL Champion Brooklyn Dodgers. What a beginning this 18 year old had…winning his first four decisions, pitching 19 straight scoreless innings and posting a 7-5 W-L record in 17 games, including a one hit shutout. That was 1957…by the spring of 1958, however, Lindy’s younger brother developed severe control problems and ended up a short time third baseman in the minors. Here he’s congratulated by infielder Tom Alston and Stan the Man after that Brooklyn Dodger debut.

 

DREAM, BABY, DREAM!!!

Any reason why I just got a notice that this post was approved?