Tagged With "Recourse"
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enough advice...thanks...
holy crap...I got enough advice that it going to make my head explode. Thanks...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Tough situation. I would imagine that the administration probably already knows about the guy. Surely some other people have spoken to him in the past. Maybe they don't care. You could look to layout a case against the guy with the AD by noting the number of people who've left over the years, and asking, "Does the school really have this many 'problem' players?" I would add, "Sir, don't you think that we are a pretty normal high school as far as kids are concerned? I see no other high school...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Details aside, this won't be the last time your son has to deal with an ass for a coach, boss, professor, etc. You should equip him with how to deal with these people rather than having to do it for him. It's a valuable lesson. I can sympathize with the coaching situation. My son's school brought in a new coach that was so toxic that players who would have made up the entire starting lineup this season transferred out or quit over the past 2 years. The administration didn't care. It took the...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I have a 2020, so I am in your mindset right now, and I read every word you wrote here. Here is what I don't get: 1. You said "The coach literally excised him from the team and humiliated him"...what did you mean by that? Did he walk him off and yell at him...is that what happened? 2. What did you mean by this "sent us a very surprising email; totally trashing my son". What were the adjectives used? 3. I am not understanding how the head coach, assistant coach, and senior assistant coach all...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
No matter how much of an A-hole the coach may be, there seems to be a disconnect or parts missing to the story. The coach or coaches took the time to put a letter together for you. That is not consistent with a knee-jerk spur-of-the-moment over-reaction. If you don't mind, what was the basic premise of the letter? Could there be any substance to any of it? Might your son have said something that was mis-interpreted? If the HC is historically the problem, then why did two other coaches react...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Sounds like this situation is ugly. yuck. Do you have any other options for his playing high school baseball?? Private school vs public school etc.... Life is short, baseball is a great sport. Why would anyone let their kid play when it wasnt fun. He is a Freshman?? He still has another four years to play high school baseball. No reason to let these guys ruin the sport for him. I have seen kids get so abused by a coach that they quit the sport. As an advocate for YOUR son you have the...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
First a baseball thing. 4.2 to first and an 8.3 60 don't mesh. One is major league speed. One is snail slow. I completely question the person doing the timing. I'm betting the story isn't exactly as your son told you. More than one coach is upset with him. There isn't a conspiracy to get him. Your son has to suck it up and talk with the coaching staff about what they perceive he did wrong. My son was a varsity starter soph year of high school. When the bus stopped for a game the coach made a...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
My son played high school for a coach where kids quit baseball because of the coach. The parents publicly complained about the coach. It was obvious to me the coach could be difficult at times. But it was nothing to quit over according to my son. Every kid who quit was questionable to start. They had to blame someone over their lack of ability. Why not the coach who snapped at them a few times?
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Let your kid work it out! Pertaining to HS athletics, your job is done.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
There was a kid at our high school who left after soph year because the coach screwed him. He went to a Catholic private and got screwed there. He returned to the high school,and got screwed again. This time my son was a junior. He said the kid grossly overrates his ability. I can say the same thing about the dad. According to the dad big time programs disocovered his son at showcases. But they ultimately backed off and screwed him. The kid headed for a JuCo first year of college and got...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
RJM we actually had the same thought on this. The 4.2 and 8.3 stuck out like a sore thumb to me as well. Maybe a typo but when I see that everything after it gets called into question. there do seem to be major pieces missing. Makes it hard to make any fair comment.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Q: What's the difference between a coach who is challenging versus one who is an arse? A: it depends whether you ask a starter's parent or a bench, cut, or quit kid's parent.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Major league fast as a 5'5" 8th grader? Does he bat left or right? What's his 60 time?
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
My son is pretty good pitcher and wants to mature his skills. Does he need high school ball for this? Or will Travel/Showcase suffice for recruiters? My son is playing JC baseball after being cut Junior year of HS by a coach not too different from yours. Never played Varsity. May be a longer, harder road but it's possible. Can your kid still play 14U next spring? A little young but maybe look into spring leagues for red-shirted JC players.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
The 4.2 and 8.3 are not in sync. That time to first equates to mid 6's+ in 60, not low 8's. Your situation requires further investigation as to what was said by all parties: perhaps a quiet conversation with one of the assistants, away from the field and in a neutral, non-confrontational setting. Quotes from the 'trashing' email may help us understand the situation better.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Quite honestly none of your son's friends etc are ever going to say something bad about your son, their reaction is not necessarily the best information to rely on. Same for previous coaches. I would also not initiate conversations with your son's friends or former coaches regarding the situation nor would I send them copies of the e-mails. That's just asking for more trouble when one of those people mentions it to the coach or some other friend who does the same. If the coach sent me an...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Okay, you didn't answer my questions so I will just say that I don't understand why YOU are having a meeting at the school or with the coach. I also don't understand why the coach would email YOU about your sons behavior. You know how I can tell my son is pissing off the coach, when he is sitting on the bench for an entire game. There are no emails or heart to hearts...my son either has to take care of HIS business with the coach or he doesn't get to play. Is HS necessary for a college...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
here is an uneducated opinion based on the facts I skimmed, I assume they are not 100% complete and probably only somewhat accurate... Will it hurt to not play school, maybe some but maybe not, it won't be a deal breaker if he is a good kid and good player. Should there be some other resolution outside of a freshman walking off and quitting the team? absolutely.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Is there a chance it went down like this: Assistant coach is the only one keeping track of who is injured and who isn't and he was off when your kid started pitching. After the third inning of your kid was pitching he walked out, saw who was on the mound and then told the other coaches "we have a problem". At that point he called your kid over and said "Are you even allowed to be running yet?" Meaning....aren't you still hurt kid? Your kid responds with a cocky singsong answer “my doctor...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Just as you obtain information on the HS coach, he too gets information, sometimes years in advance of a player heading his way. So, forming an opinion before one gets the opportunity to prove what they're about is a two way street. You don't have to like the coach or his program, but you do have to respect it. Your player needs to work this out on his own and simply get to an understanding with the coach. Learn what it means to be humble and work his tail off getting better. That is how you...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
The coach must have one redeeming quality eh? - he picked your son as an 8th grader and you seemed like you were thrilled by that. If he was such a bad guy, why not extricate yourselves from the situation then? You seem more politically connected than most (all?) I've seen post here. You seem to know what every other coach and former player thinks of this coach and have no qualms about swapping stories about this coach - behind his back no less. Perhaps you have poisoned the well with your...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I was a HS athlete and understand the mindset that it takes to be a successful one. I had to have a what the southerners call a "come to Jesus meeting" with my son when he was 12. The gist of the meeting was "The days of you sliding by on your natural ability are OVER, you need to loose that chip on your shoulder and actually listen to what your coaches are telling you, or you can sit on the bench. I won't be defending you to your coaches, or asking what you did wrong, or fixing it. You need...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
My advice is that whether you not it or not, you seem like you are being "that dad". I would back away and have the boy meet with the coach. The coaching fraternity is so small, that you don't want a negative feeling out there in regards to your son, or you. Both could be detrimental to your son. From some of the posts above, I think your son is partially responsible for the negative relationship with the coaches. He needs to make it right with them and conform to the rules of the team. If...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Oh man, quit! As the parent of a 2020 I'm telling you you are going WAY overboard. You are now going to pay the baseball coach...what $50 for some one on one time with your kid? Why? Okay, quick word of advice from someone who is SURROUNDED by people who are doing exactly what you are doing, just stop! Fly under the radar, let your kid fly under the radar and only shine when it comes to what he can do on the field. This advice is under great debate on this board but in my opinion you should...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
You're welcome Seriously, though, hope you report back with the results of the meeting and if some of this feedback affected your position going into the meeting. Most importantly, hope things work out for the best for your son.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Your son is in 8th grade and you're going to talk to the coach? The first time I I talk to one of my kid's coaches about them would be the next time. And they're past college. As in it never happened. I let them sell themselves. I let them deal with their own situations (which were few). Oh, I had one conversation with each travel coach (two kids) on what I could afford for college. One time I was really pissed at the high school coach. My son told me to get over it. He already had.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
"I have even gone as far as getting some one-on-one instruction with his coach at the baseball academy to show my son that he is not some monster." imho OUCH. That's going to far the other way and if not handled right can lead to other problems with parents who know that you did it. I've seen this scenario not work out for everybody involved, meeting with the coach about your son is NOT GOOD. Perhaps I am reading too much into what has transpired, but if they feel they have to meet with you...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I know you said "enough" on the advice but I had this thought earlier that I think may be helpful to you and, possibly, your son. A few times now, you have correlated how well your son pitched with expected acceptance of him as part of the program. As a HS coach, I want players who can perform well. But, I demand players who can be good teammates and behave up to the standards we set for the program. I don't care how good the kid plays if he can't be a good citizen, representative of what...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I have been down the strong HS coach vs academy coaches who know the boy better then anyone...you can't win don't go there. Have your son give the HS coach a polite head nod (do it sincerely) and never ever say I have been taught different. Just do what the man asks and forget it when you leave. Occasionally you find the HS has a good idea, don't be afraid to hang onto good ideas that work for you.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
You have an absolute right to talk to the coach. Your son is 14 or 15 years old. People that tell you to let your child sort things out with a grown man are simply baffling to me. We don't let high school kids have responsibility for saying no to sexual advances from their teachers. Why should athletes have to, with out exceptions, deal with coaches or teachers or other adults. Adolescents simply do not have the experience, skill, tools, power or authority necessary to handle any number of...
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Old school, decisiveness and manner of motivation are a coach's prerogative. The boy should probably learn to live with those types of things. However, these things too can cross the line. Listen carefully, and take care not to try to tell the guy how to coach his team. It's a touchy, nuanced matter. I do think that parents have a right to demand that coaches not only perform well, but that they lead their children well.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I don't disagree with this, I just recommend acting like you are listening closely even if you aren't. I have no problem with a man coaching however he sees fit...I just recommend a non argumentative way of dealing with them.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I agree, have the kid with you if you are going to have a meeting. The thing that is really confusing me though is how does a kid pitch 3 innings if he's not medically released to run?
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I have never told him to disregard a coach... Well except the time a little league coach told him to swing upwards, to hit more home runs. - So should he have swung downward to hit more groundballs?
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Heard a coach last weekend at 14u say "hit the top half"...my sons coach laughed at him.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
My experience with my sons teams over the years are that his coaches have had no gray area regarding medical issues. If you aren't medically released to do EVERYTHING, you aren't medically released to do ANYTHING. Odd that your sons coaches have a gray area.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
May not necessarily be bad advice given circumstances. Clearly, the goal is to hit it flush, but if a player is dropping his hands severely you could use language like that to "overcompensate" & maybe the kid finds it somewhere in the middle. Often when giving instruction to correct a flaw an extreme suggestion gets a slight reaction & adjustment. It feels huge to the player but it is not.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
It's just a conversation about "baseball." So get over it. These things tend to evolve.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
Hitting exchanges take a different turn than most conversations. They often get ugly with people standing in their own corners based on the guru they worship. More often than not when a thread turns from wherever it was to hitting it gets ugly and goes down the tubes.
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Re: enough advice...thanks...
I don't disagree at all. Certainly not my intent to go hitting direction. The comment I replied to referenced hitting & my point was to show that likely there was a coaching philosophy in play when the other coach made the "funny comment," that can definitely be effective at times. Could relate to any part of the game. Thx. With respect to original posters ? I honestly have no idea & certainly appreciate & am trying to soak up much of the advice given here with those who have...