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2 teams and no practice formula for success?

I inthebleachersMember
Hello all, this has probably been covered in the past, but my meager searching skills didn't find exactly what I wanted. I hope you don't mind reading a long post & offering some thoughts Smile

I share duties raising a boy as a stepfather.

He is currently in the 8th grade. We live in a area of Florida where there is no middle school baseball. His dream is to play professional baseball. His father believes he has the talent to play baseball for a living. Personally, I'll be happy if he has a decent HS experience, as making the team is not easy.

Last year (as a 13YO) he made the transition to the full sized field. He also signed up to play AAU in additon to his local league.

He is doing quite well on the full sized field & in travel. In travel, he is the best kid on a relatively weak team. When playing the upper level teams, it looks like he belongs on their teams, unlike many of his teammates.

His current travel team does not play a lot of games. Including tournaments, someplace around 16-20 games in the spring and the same for the fall.

Because of this, his father signed him up for the local babe ruth league last spring. My wife and I didn't really say to much, as we weren't sure how the whole travel thing would pan out. He ended up playing someplace around 40 games last spring.

He started off this fall season on the travel team. Things seemed to be going well and then his father signed him up for the local rec league also. Dad's justificaiton... he needs to play as much baseball as possible to get ready for HS.

Issue #1: His rec league plays the same 2 nights of the week that his travel team practices. That means he no longer practices at all. Just 2 rec games and 2 travel games a week. He does not work on his swing/throwing/fielding on his own away from the games/practices.

Issue #2: The rec fall league very weak. He is several levels better than the kids he's playing with/against. It is a mix of the weaker players on the large field for the first time and kids who have never played before. He's playing SS & lucky to get 1 ball a game hit to him. It's all strike outs or walks. If he's lucky, he'll swing the bat 2 or 3 times a night. More commonly he'll get walked on 4 straight pitches. I'm not sure there is any benefit in playing against/with such weak competition. Especially since his travel team is relatively weak.

Issue #3: He plays the corners or pitches in travel. His dad thinks it's good for him to play SS in rec, because he'll learn other postions. While it's possible that something will happen as he continues to grow, I feel it is unlikely that he'll ever develop the speed or range needed to play a middle infield or outfield postion.

I think it's a bad idea to blow off practice in order to get 1 ball hit to him and possibly 2 swings a night. His father replies "there is no substitiute for live pitching". His father recently told me that he's planning on signing him up for both leagues in the spring because he needs to face the maximum amount of live pitching prior to trying out for HS.

Neither his father or I have any post HS baseball experience. We also don't have any friends/family with post HS experience, so we're somewhat limited in expert advice.

I an very intrested in your opinions as to which method is going to be more benefitial to our son's long term baseball "potential".

I have tried to state the case a factually as possible, but I know it is colored by my opinion.

If it isn't too much of a bother, or too rude, would you mind mentioning what level you, your kid (or kids you have coached) made it to? I plan on sending the link to his father & as neither of us really knows any of you, your "credentials" might lend some added crediblity to your opinion.

Thank you
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thegame2003thegame2003100+ posts
I am a current college baseball player, I play for Concordia University, an NAIA school in Nebraska, I was the starting CF on my HS team that won the NV 2A state championship in 2003, and have played with and against many drafted baseball players. Those are my qualifications.

There is no substitute for practice. While it is good to play a lot of games, there should be plenty time allowed to work on the fundamental things of the game, especially at the pre-high school age. Games are where you show off what you can do, practice is where you learn to do things better.

Personally, I've always had to practice on my own in addition to the team practices in order to succeed. I'm one of those players that wasn't blessed with God-given tools, so I've had to bust my @$$ practicing on my own in order to get to the level I'm at.

I would personally make sure he practices with his team in order to recieve some decent instruction, and in addition he should definately practice on his own. also, maybe find a better travel squad to play on, just my opinion.
floridafanfloridafan5,000+ posts
Welcome Inthe bleachers!
I know that you will recieve many more responses from more creditable sources than I but, as a newcommer, it is nice to that your post has been read and generated a response...so I will get the ball rolling.
I am the Father of 3 Sons, one a Junior in HS, one a Freshman, and one in 7th grade. I helped coach through little league, focusing on helping kids learn to hit.
When my Son turned 13 he only played AAU year round. Any additional work or practice that we felt he required was provided by Hitting and Pitching instruction from paid professionals. This is the direction where I would encourage you to head. Playing against weak teams with likely weak coaching will do him nothing but harm. Use this time for one on one professional instruction. If the kid has talent it will serve him very well.
In Florida you have many opportunities for high quality instruction if you are willing to drive a bit. We live in North Central Florida, and would drive about 90 miles weekly (not constantly, but regularly) for the lessons since my oldest was 11. It was the best thing we could have done for him as well as his brothers.
Last edited by floridafan
RedheadRedhead100+ posts
I am the mom of a Senior RHP who will play beyond high school - those are my credentials. Here are my questions and observations. How many nights per week is he playing ball? During the summer it's not such a big deal, but if he is not devoting an equal amount of time to studying, it could be a problem. Has anyone asked what he wants to do? I read a lot of what every one else has decided is best, but I did not see anything regarding his opinion. What is the point of playing on a team that is far below his level? Is he challenged at all? Does he grow as a player? I doubt it. If he is a substantially better than everyone else he might end up hurting another player. Is his travel team coach happy that he is missing all the team practices? Probably not - but the kid playing behind him probably is. Here is my observation from watching years and years of baseball - kids that I thought would play until the very end have dropped out. They were over scheduled, over played and pushed so hard by their parents that they finally said "no more". Most did not move on to other productive activites, they pretty much just dropped out of everything.
TB The Beast1,000+ posts
Your stepson needs to forget about the rec league.He needs to spend those nights working on his skills(hitting, pitching, ground balls). He will see better pitching at the travel games.Maybe he needs to find a different travel team that plays more. There is no substitiute for practice.Live pitching is no good if you can't get a pitch to hit.He may pick up bad habits in the rec league wanting to swing at pitches that aren't strikes.He needs to face the pitching in the select league more. But he needs to be the one that wants it not the dads. He needs to be the one that comes up to you when you get home from work and says "hey dad want to go hit". I'm just a dad that has learned from watching and listening to other dads and coaches. I never ask my son to go hit or pitch or take ground balls.We go out at least twice a week and hit. He is a freshman in high school.
B BobbleheadDoll5,000+ posts
I think that playing Rec is a waste of time unless he is playing just for fun. Nothing wrong with that. Father seems to enjoy him being a big fish in a small pond. You are better going to practice if the coaches are teaching coaches. If the travel coach puts up with him not attending practice he is one in a million. i have never heard of that before. Our coaches usually have a NO Practice/late for Practice no play rule. Even if you have an excuse it had better be a tradjedy.
How can you develope your skills which are probably lacking ?
I think father has to see him against great players before he gets too wound up. At 13 he has a long way to go and probably has developed a lot of bad habits.
Get him to as good a team as you can where he will learn how to play. You are stunting his development. Practice and more practice under knowlegeable coaches.
Most parents see their kids though rose coloured glasses. very important to take them off for a reality check.
ILVBBILVBB1,000+ posts
Welcome aboard! Good questions!

My starting point will always be "What does your son want to do." This will dictate what will largely become your priority.

At age 13 my son played in two rec leagues and for a travel tournament team (5 years ago there were far less travel teams). When we took on more commitmments the first thing we did as a family was define what his priorities were and then communicate them to each group of coaches.

In that getting better was our son's goal, he made his travel team the number 1 priority. He would put games and practices first. Then he prioritized the two rec teams after that. One of the rec league coaches was very supportive and the second rec league "banished" him when they found out that there program wasn't number 1. This made playing on multiple teams easier.

Over time we found that practice and working on fundementals at age 13/14 was more important than playing in games that had little purpose or value.

About age 14 he started hitting with a local instructor. We changed instructors as he grew and hit with a coach from the local JC. He hit with this coach for nearly 3 years.

Over time, we found that rec ball was a cheap way to get some "at-bats." Playing on Babe Ruth All-star teams was OK which led to playing American Legion ball, which again was affordable and OK. However, the best baseball where he was challenged and learned what it took to play at the next level was at the regional and national tournaments with his travel team.

Between HS and 1st year of college, he played with a local rec team. By this time, he knew where he was playing in college. The rec ball was made up of mostly JC players from the area so it was somewhat competitive. However, this was in addition to a 5 day a week weights and conditioning program which was his priority.

My advice is don't worry as to what position he plays. As he gets older coaches will likely adjust his position based upon his skills and each teams needs.

My warning to parents is to spend only what you can afford. Travel ball can get very expensive. We limited travel to one major tournament a year and then local or regional tournaments where you can drive. Also, as our son got older HS ball took the place of most of the rec and travel ball in the spring and fall.

Also, listen to what your son is saying. If he loves baseball, be a mentor, teach him patience. If he is loosing the passion, listen again and give him time to decide if this is what he wants or what his parents want.

As with many of those that will answer, I coached my son through his LL years. I then stepped out of the way turning him over to more experienced coaches. My son played HS for a program that received national recognition and is now playing for a D3 school that is perennially in the top 25 nationally.
Last edited by ILVBB
CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
I have a daughter but will add my two cents. We did this one year. It was terrible. I must state that it depends upon the rec league but the one my child played in is terrible at best. The rec ball didn't allow for any challenges and, in fact, led to heartache since the level of play was poor, the games were looooong, the resentment of some of the other girls on the other team regarding my girl's talents... This past year, we still had a couple of girls on our select team play rec but our team played 52 games in select. I believe that the girls that played rec found it very hard to adjust to the lob ball and then, in a tournament hit some young lady bringing the mail. Also, they missed a couple of practices to play in those rec games. Finally, if you play on a good select team, the travel... and then also play on that rec team with all of its demands you might just be setting that young man up for burnout. JMHO!
L lafmom5,000+ posts
quote:
I read a lot of what every one else has decided is best, but I did not see anything regarding his opinion.


That was my thought too! I think we, as parents, can provide guidance, but I see many folks (dads and moms) that disregard what their son wants because they're going to make him into a star whether that means coaching them or "making" them play for a certain team.

My own son, while in HS, had opportunities to play for much higher level in the summer than the team he chose to stay with.... which was his HS teammates. It may have very well cost him some exposure and maybe it cost him some growth with his skills.... I don't know and will never know. However, I'm not comparing rec team to travel team here.... but two different kinds of travel teams. I do know that he was happy, did what he felt was right for several reasons, and has no regrets. These situations are very difficult to give advice to because kids are so different in their talent level, what they aspire to......

BTW, I'm a mom of a NAIA college player and a divorced mom too! So, I applaud you and dad for working together for the best interest of your stepson. I would hate to feel that son ends up feeling torn between the two of you as well as his baseball options.... that would be a bigger tragedy than playing or practicing for the wrong team.
Last edited by lafmom
I inthebleachersMember
Thanks all for the posts so far. I hope they keep rolling in Smile

A couple additional thoughts reading the responses.

My son has never really had a lot of "good" coaching. He knows the fundamentals, but never had a coach I'd tell another parent to send their kid to if they want him to be the best.

The current travel team is somewhat a collection of misfits. There are a couple of serious players & the rest are goof balls who likely won't play HS. The coach doesn't really know all that much & tolerates quite a bit as the team does not have much leway for players leaving.

His rec coach has taught him a few little pitching things, but he's not exactly a "professional" coach either.

As far as what he wants to do. He was perfectly happy playing only travel. He likes playing more than practice though, so he doesn't complain to much. He does occasionally make noises about being frustrated playing on a team where the kids can't throw/catch.

He also would never admit to not wanting to play because he is afraid it would hurt his dads feelings or make himself look undedicated.
I inthebleachersMember
lafmom

"I would hate to feel that son ends up feeling torn between the two of you as well as his baseball options.... "

We do our best for that not to happen. We all feel that we're raising a young man first and foremost. The boy is more important than the ball player. He's still quite tenderhearted & non of us would be comfortable putting him in the middle of a disagreement.

Discussions on this (minor in the grand scheme)subject are held apart from him & less heated than my posting might give the impression of.
Midlo DadMidlo Dad10,000+ posts
There are a few things missing from your post that I would need to know in order to feel like my advice was worthwhile.

First, when you say the boy doesn't practice outside of team practices or games, I would ask, why?

There are all sorts of opportunities to practice, even if you're just using one of those ball return nets ("practice partners" or what we used to call "pitch backs") in the back yard. He can also do tee drills in the back yard, using wiffle balls or a catch net. You can go up to the local school field and hit him grounders whenever you want. And you can find token-operated batting cage facilities in just about every town these days.

What it sounds like to me is that this kid enjoys baseball but maybe doesn't have the pedal-to-the-medal drive that marks the future prospect. I'd like to hear your thoughts on that. But if he doesn't have the "want to" to practice, I think your more modest hopes for his future may be more realistic than his dad's.

That is, he might play HS, but I wouldn't bank on college or pro. From what little I've seen of FL HS baseball, making the HS team might be a challenge as it is. Because I don't care how he measures up with his teammates and opponents right now, he won't keep up pace if he doesn't have the desire to work on his skills regularly without being pushed by others. Raw ability can make a kid stand out at 13 or 14, but when he gets to the HS level in an area where top baseball talent seems to grow on palm trees, he will need more to succeed.

BTW, If he enjoys the recreation of playing but doesn't have the drive to practice, ultimately he will resent being pushed into things he doesn't enjoy, and at that point he may stop playing altogether. This is what many parents, in an effort to deflect blame away from themselves, often refer to erronneously as "burnout".

The second thing you didn't tell us is, who has custody? If natural dad has custody, then it's his decision, and you are butting in. However well intentioned you may be, however correct I might think you are about the baseball aspects, you would be wrong from the larger perspective.

If, on the other hand, your wife and you have custody, the fact that the natural dad is the natural dad doesn't give him the right to make these decisions. In fact, he doesn't have the power to make these decisions unless he simply is making them and daring you to stop him, and you aren't.

If you have custody, I would suggest you put your foot down and follow your instincts, they sound good to me. Even if natural dad pays the rec league fee, you drive the kid to AAU practices anyway. Natural dad may fume, but it's your duty to deal with that. As far as I know you are not required to supply an audience whenever he wants to tell you his opinions.

In that situation, you should also be prepared to coach your son in how to deal with natural dad man to man. Whether it's baseball related or not, situations where the parents start playing tug of war with the kid are ugly and difficult, but they have to be dealt with.
ILVBBILVBB1,000+ posts
Now you have scared me, "He likes playing more than practice." Sounds like a kid to me. Baseball is no different than any activity that takes skill, you learn the skill through practice. I would love to play the piano, however, I don't like to practice - it doesn't work.

As for teams and coaches, you (collective between all interested parties) need to do what you are doing now. Ask questions, go see other teams practice and play. Trust me there are a ton of great programs in Florida.

If his current team and or coach is not cutting it, find another. You are making an investment in an activity that can shape your son's character, find a group that will instill values of hard work, team work, and fair play. Ultimatly, he will benefit far more from this than any other element of baseball.

It sounds like you and Dad need to go out and have a beer. Talk about what you all are trying to accomplish.

Seek and yee shall find; coaches, teams and programs that can and will make a difference.
Nitric_AcidNitric_Acid100+ posts
I'm new around here, but I'll give you prospective from another father. I'm a college Prof, so I know a lot about teaching, a little about baseball. This fall my son played on the freshman football team and in a fall baseball league. We have gotten through it, but that's about it. Son is frustrated because he doesn't have time to do anything (including practice baseball), and he's having a rough fall season due to lack of practice, and Mom is frustrated because we are constantly running from one place to the other.

The logic of your stepson's father is a bit backwards. One doesn't get smart by taking a lot of exams. You get smart by studying and an exam identifies your weakness. The same goes for baseball. Practice is where you "study" baseball and the game is the exam. If you play 4 games a week, figure 4-5 at bats per game. If you go deep in the count, say 6 pitches per at-bat, that works out to seeing a maximum of 120 pitches per week. Many of those are unhittable, so how many good pitches does your son really have to work with? On the other hand, when we are just doing baseball, I will throw about 100 pitches 3-4 times a week. Besides that, we can work on things during BP. During a game isn't the time to monkey with someone's swing, so when do you try new things?

It gets even worse if you are talking about fielding. My son has gone whole games where he never touched the ball. How efficient is it for your son to be standing around for 2 hours to field one ball? In 2 hours of practice he could have fielded 50-75 grounders.

Based on what you have said, your son would probably be better off getting on a higher level travel team and dumping the rec. league. That would give him the opportunity to get instruction, practice and play a significant number of games.
B BobbleheadDoll5,000+ posts
quote:
As far as what he wants to do. He was perfectly happy playing only travel. He likes playing more than practice though, so he doesn't complain to much. He does occasionally make noises about being frustrated playing on a team where the kids can't throw/catch.


Is there a team close by that he can tryout for ? Assuming he is serious about baseball and getting better he needs to get better instruction. Most good coaches will push you hard to get you in shape and he at this level has no idea how hard you have to work to get in shape. Regardless of how bad his team is he has to work on not putting them down even if he is frustrated.
We had guys on my son's elite team that travelled 120 miles each way to play on the team. A big commitment but it can payoff depending on his goals. Practice started at 7:00 and went to 11:00pm 2-3 times a week pre season and post season. All winter we practiced 3 times a week in a large dome. We were a weekend team with games throught the week and tournaments all over Ontario and the US. This is a huge committment. At 14 we had 65-75 games and at 18 75-100. The key is great instruction and competition.
C Coachric1,000+ posts
I think you are caught in an all-to-familiar dilemma. Firstly, why is anyone assuming that the travel coaches will run a good organized practice, and will teach anything. Most, and I say most travel coaches are more interested in putting together a talent pool and throwing bp to get ready for games.
The weaknesses of the rec league will not help the player advance much unless some of the opponents bring a challenge to the boys abilities. Do any of the other teams have a pitcher that can challenge him?
I would allow him to play only if he could practice or train somewhere on his off days, and only if he can complete his studies and take care of school work with such a busy schedule.
See, there are lots of sacrifices between education and sports. If the kid wants to make a HS team here in florida, he will have 4 1/2 months of 5-6 day a week practices and games and he will have to maintain studies as well.
Yes, playing is the real deal, but this game is so much about preparation, and there is no substitution for practice.
What part of florida are you in?
I inthebleachersMember
Wow a lot of new questions. I'll see if I can get most of them:

Midlo dad:
"First, when you say the boy doesn't practice outside of team practices or games, I would ask, why?"

Arrive home from school ~ 5pm. 2 nights a week leave for games at 5:30 pm. Return 9:20 pm. One double header on the weekend if not in an all weekend tournament. The other nights are for homework that he didn't get done on game night. Typically 2-3 hours worth. That still leaves time some time that he prefers to spend that time doing kid stuff... playing guitar, hanging out with friends. Etc.

That's the main reason I think he's destined for topping out at HS. If he truly wanted to play baseball post HS, those other things would get left behind so he could spend his free time practicing. Obviouolsy his "work ethic" could change over the next few years as he's only 13.

"The second thing you didn't tell us is, who has custody?"

No official custody agreement. He lives with his mom and I. His dad is a good guy & they have a strong relationship, we like Jr to spend as much time with him as possible. There haven't been any of those type arguements & hopefully won't be. We all do our best to share the duties of raising him as cooperatively as possible. Typically mom has the ultimate authority (LOL).

ILVBB
Now you have scared me, "He likes playing more than practice." "

He doesn't like practice because the other kids screw around & the coach allows it. He gets frustrated & feels like they're (the other kids) wasting his time.

"It sounds like you and Dad need to go out and have a beer."

We're not aruging about it. We just both have different views of what the proper path is but neither have the knowledge to really know. That's why I was hoping that by posting here, there might be some experts who could see if either path (or neither) was the correct way.

Bobblehead doll
"Is there a team close by that he can tryout for ?"

Yes. Several. One of the issues was that he wanted to play with kids he knew rather than a bunch of strangers. I now think he's beginning to regret that decison as he is finding that his desire to play/win is not in line with his teammates who are less competive/more prone to goof off.

Coachric
"Do any of the other (rec) teams have a pitcher that can challenge him?"

No, they are throwing 10MPH slower than what he sees in travel. He's considering batting opposite hand.
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
Yes. Several. One of the issues was that he wanted to play with kids he knew rather than a bunch of strangers. I now think he's beginning to regret that decison as he is finding that his desire to play/win is not in line with his teammates who are less competive/more prone to goof off.


As others have said, individual instruction, practice and drills will accelerate advancement to the point where the positive reinforcement gained from achievement will spur him to step up his level of competition. If he lived with me, I would drop the weakest team and use the extra time to spend with a good instructor(s) for specific skill enhancement.

TIP: Playing up in age and skill level will usually result in skill improvements in talented players.

The game is more fun played well. Practice make perfect only if you are practicing correctly.

Inthebleachers, My son has done fairly well so far but, if we could do it over, he would get more individual instruction as he went to the big field and through high school. The learning curve would have been alot steeper, I believe.
Last edited by Dad04
B BobbleheadDoll5,000+ posts
Part of baseball is being able to move away from friends if there is a better opportunity. This is a no brainer.
I used to take my friends to several tryouts for 4-5 elite teams to get him used to being the new guy. He even tried out for the provincial team and made it. A last minute walk on. He went out there and did what he had to do. He wasn't overjoyed about going. A little nervous since thier were 15 tryouts and he showed up to the last 1 which were all the invited guys from the other tryouts. I told him he has to go to see that he can compete at the highest level. Some of the best instruction came from those fall tryouts. He also discovered new friends and understands that he has to go where he will advance himself.
One of the hardest moves we made was after his 17U team which he just loved. The players, parents and everything was just amazing. We had to make a move and within a couple weeks he had all new mates and was really happy. He still played against his old team and had not lost their friendship.
ILVBBILVBB1,000+ posts
You wrote; "One of the issues was that he wanted to play with kids he knew rather than a bunch of strangers. I now think he's beginning to regret that decison as he is finding that his desire to play/win is not in line with his teammates who are less competive/more prone to goof off."

My son was about 13 when he started to "venture out" from the kids that he grew up with. What we found was as long as he could compete and be diciplined in his game, he was welcome on every team that he played with.

Generally, by the fifth inning or an hour into a workout with a new team, the kids would respect the effort. As long as this was the case, he grew in his confidence both baseball and in life.

You are now transitioning from baseball as a "social activity" to baseball as meaningful development of skill and character.

Good luck!
infielddadinfielddad10,000+ posts
To be honest, I wonder if we should identify any true "formula" for success.
When our son was 13-15, he played football in football season, basketball in that season, s****r in that season, swam mostly year round and baseball in baseball season. Never really took much in the way of hitting/fielding/etc lessons, never played travel ball, etc.
By the time he was 16/17, he played football beginning with July summer practices through the end of November. Played baseball from January to May for high school and a 40 game summer legion schedule, but rarely practiced after the end of his high school season.
While there was a lot of agreement he was athletic, only a few thought highly of his baseball ability. While he/we had visions of DI baseball, a DIII coach was the one who had a view that others didn't and provided the opportunity to play in college.
When he got to college, began to play year round, and had that combined with fine coaching, his skills improved markedly. Those skills seemed to continue to accelerate through each year of college and summer wood bat leagues.
If our son had taken a more focused approach to baseball from ages 13-18, I have often wondered how, if at all his skills and opportunities might have been different at age 18 and age 22.
Those wonderings became more signficant, for me, after I started reading the HSBBW. I came to appreciate how baseball, as a skill sport, is one where the more you do it,the better you will do it. The higher the calibre of competition, the better player you become. But after talking with our son, I realized he would not have done anything differently. He loved playing with and competing with his friends, regardless of the sport. While he was doing that, he was playing for the "sport" or it and the social aspects, only.
Which brings me to the conclusion...finally. Eek
Since about 2001 when I found the HSBBW, I have read with the utmost interest and admiration about Fungo, Jr. and his development. Often times, as I read Fungo's posts, I questioned the route our son followed and questioned past choices. But, as fate might have it, our son and Fungo, Jr were teammates this year in minor league ball. They got to know each other and to respect and admire the talents of the other. I think Fungo,Jr is more advanced in the skills of his position and also has some leverage with his draft position and high level DI experience. I also better understand, through this site and Fungo's posts, that he has sacrificed, worked extremely hard and dedicated himself in ways that ours did not.
Despite the very different routes, they have ended up in similar positions in baseball. They each have talents and skills that need to be improved or fine tuned. Ours I believe more than Fungo, Jr. Ours knows he needs to do extra work, understands the downside if he doesn't, and seems to have a very good view of some upside if he does. There probably are not two more different approaches to baseball from ages 13-22 than those between Josh and Jason. Knowing how Josh got there makes me admire him even more. I deeply appreciate Fungo sharing that journey, the happy and the challenges. While I had wondered if things had been different if Jason had followed an alternate path, watching them on the same field showed me they are very different young men, with different baseball experiences, who are now on the same fields doing what they love.
I hope this post will help others appreciate there is not a "formula" for success other than the one that works best for your son, and that he is neither Josh nor Jason.
Last edited by infielddad
Midlo DadMidlo Dad10,000+ posts
Given your additional info, I agree with meeting with dad, but I would leave out the beer and bring the boy.

He's old enough to be talked to like an adult and to have his input respected.

The question to ask is, how important to him is baseball?

The point to make to him is, if it's important, he can't just say it's important. He has to show the importance of it by finding time to practice, even to the point of missing out on other things.

If it's just another fun activity for him, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have two sons and one of them couldn't care less about sports, the other one eats and sleeps baseball. Lots of kids fall along the spectrum in between.

Once the situation is explained, let him choose whether he's going to practice or to rec games. If he has said he's interested in playing mostly for recreation, then there's no harm in either path, so it really shouldn't matter to you or dad whether he chooses practices or rec games. If he says he wants to be a serious ball player, but then chooses not to practice, I think it is fair to point out to him that his actions are not going to help him reach his goals.

But you still live with whatever he decides. The point of the meeting is to have him tell both you and dad what's going to happen, and after that, the two of you need to respect his decision. And since your relationship with dad is apparently more amicable than I initially thought you meant, the two of you should not have difficulty resolving this after the son speaks.
B BobbleheadDoll5,000+ posts
As in many things there is no one way but there often is a better way.
I know a guy who got drafted last year. He got a $440,ooo signing bonus. He was not a geat or even good ball player 2 years before he got drafted.
He worked hard on his game , got into shape and developed almost over night. He was cut from a city AAA team and really was not a standout. He joined the right team and they found he had a great talent as a LH power hitter. He still has a lot to learn about making contact. To be blunt I can't believe how quickly he developed. Our winter camps were full of MLB scouts who flew in to see him. Nice kid with a great swing. He just jumped on the sceen out of nowhere. Im am sure PG events helped.
O ORmom100+ posts
My son played little league every spring until he was in 8th grade. Not exactly top competition but he enjoyed it! He played on a "select" team during the summer/fall-local tournaments with only one or two being out of town each year. He began that around age 10 with a local team of players from little league. These were the "all-stars" of the little league so they were all good players. After about two years, the pressure of that team (and the egos of some of the parents/coaches!) was out of control. When it reached the point of his throwing up before going to the games, we ended it even though he didn't want to-these were the "good players" and he wanted to be a part of that. We put him on a team that was not as strong where he could shine and get his confidence back-he loved it and we have great memories of that team-even if they didn't win many championships! He took hitting lessons from a great coach and practiced with whatever team he was playing with and continued to improve. He too was one of those that enjoyed other things as well!

In high school some things changed. He made varsity as a freshman so he got some good playing time experience and practice. But in to summer/fall he had no desire to play on one of the "name" teams around here-he stuck with his friends. This past summer he knew he needed to branch out to be seen-so he made the move to one of the big teams instead of just playing locally-although he played with them when he could. I guess you could say he wasn't as "serious" about it all until high school and even then not to the extreme it could have been.
Should we have done things differently and made him play on stronger teams? Maybe so but we did what he wanted and it's paid off as he's already committed to play next year at a Big 12 school.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Infielddad what an awesome post!

You are right, there is no set formula. There are some kids who never played on select teams, had other interests,some who play day and night from early on and DO end up in the same place.

You try to do as much as you can, let your sons take the lead, follow their interests.

Welcome inthebleachers!
I am also a baseballmom, son a college player, at the school where the orange paws line the streets! When son was younger he would much rather play than practice. In fact I think he still feels that way. Big Grin
This is just my opinion, but seems to me two dads have different plans for one son. While I agree better competition is important, you need to find out what he wants to do. If he has ability wants to play in HS, make a plan that includes him, not the two of you. Smile
This coming summer, find him a good team to play on, start looking for one now. And maybe consider lessons if you both feel that is what he needs. You live in the same state as I do, there are TONS of opportunities. Baseball camps, retired former major league players with clinics, you name it, we got it. Big Grin

And don't forget to let the other dad know about the HSBBW!
Last edited by TPM

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