A tale of Two Dads

Speaking of dads - I am one. My sons first at bat in Tee-ball he struck out but it wasnt his fault. You see, it was a windy day and everytime my son went to swing, the ball and tee would move at least 12 feet outside - I was furious because it only happened to my son - he got ripped off on that at bat so I moved him directly to Varsity High School - the coach didnt like him so he got minimal playing time. The next time he got to bat.....

Yes! Yes! Go on 09! The next time he got to bat...what? Don't leave us hanging! What happened? Tell us! Tell us! Puh-leez 09!

You've got me sitting on the edge of my seat! How tall was your son at the time...about so? (Asking that question as shown in picture A). And Coach I've got a question...can I go to the bathroom? (Asking that question as shown in picture B).

Gotwood, I want you to know that if I opened that door and he came attempted to come in, I DRAW THE LINE!

Really, how insecure can anyone be. His child is great. She is also talented. Why do people feel the need to quote to every available ear their child's stats. I sometimes wonder if I'm being a poor parent because I can't tell you any stat from my girl's games. Stats don't really mean much and so, I've always concentrated on how hard she plays. (She sometimes tends to whine or complain.) Did she have good at bats? Did she "play the game" the way it is supposed to be played. She will be one of the dirtiest kids after every game! Finally, did she have fun?

One final observation, in the previous scenerio which is real, I wanted to tell the one Dad how well his child played. I think that if you truly are good, you will never have to say it for yourself. Everyone else will be busy telling you. (Or in this case telling the parent how well the child played.)

I wonder what is it about baseball that makes people so stat happy? I watch the games, and I know if my son is hitting well or not. I don't need to calculate his batting average or slugging percentage for that. The other dads (and moms) watch my son play. They don't need me telling them that he's good (or stinks, depending on the day, I guess).

I'd draw the line there too Coach. No telling what stats you would have to hear about if the dad was on the stool next to yours!

It sounds like the best thing that could happen to his talented and accomplished daughter is for him just to blend in the crowd quietly. She probably isn't the one who is insecure...but as time goes on, with a dad like that, she may very well become insecure. And that's too bad.

I'm with you Nitric_Acid...let your son's or daughter's level of play do the talking...good or bad!

I suppose you could keep a picture of these around for when you get accosted by the Stat Dad...


"What'cha think of these stats?"

Great thread, some parents are just amazing. I got a dad who:

a) Always reminds me when his kid had a hit in the previoius game. "Hey coach, did you see Johnny's single in the third inning last game?". Duh, I'm the coach and I see every kid's hit.

b) Always has an excuse for the errors his kid makes. "Johnny's not used to playing left field, the ball comes at him from a different angle."

c) Never fails to point out other kid's errors. "Did you see that, Jimmy should have been able to handle that throw." (Of course it was his kid who threw the ball in the dirt.)

Well that dad does have at least one worthy characteristic...he's thorough!

This thread got me thinking about the last couple of days with my son. His team just won a HS state championship in Florida. My boy did not get to play except to pinch run once. He went 5-1 as a pitcher this year, but they did not use him in state. Was I mad? - not at all - I tried to remember that baseball might be a vehicle that helps pay a little bit of his college, but mostly it provides times of fellowship with my son. It will not be long before he leaves my home - I want him to remember all the great memories of our playing catch together, and of me being his catcher - which I refuse to do anymore, BTW.

I also have a younger son (7) in T-ball. I've coached his team the last 3 years and have never kept score. Yet, I have parents on other teams ask if next year their kid can be on my team. I guess they like my style of coaching. BTW, I'm reasonably sure my T-ball team scores more runs than most of the other teams we play. So I want to teach them to be competitive and a good as they can be. However, the game should be fun – something many parents prevent for their children by unwarranted pressure. If I have learned anything over the years it is this: the will to win and succeed in baseball must come from the child.

When my older son was at this age I was not this way. I was the first dad, who got angry when he did not play like I thought he could or should. Over the years I have started to realize that most kids will never play beyond the HS level - maybe my kids are included in that group. Realizing this helps me enjoy the moment - a moment between my son and I. I can tell you how I get caught up in being the first dad mentioned in the thread: it is when I try to live through my son. When he does well, it makes me proud. “What a great coach I’ve been.” When he does poorly, I am embarrassed. A tale of two dads? - I've been both, maybe I still am.

I should leave this alone but I won't. Leaving our game tonight = not good, walk pass a Dad. "Our pitcher didn't have very good stuff tonight" was the remark made by one parent. I looked and asked if he was serious. I pointed out that the young man gave up 2 earned runs and that he threw innings of 4 outs, 6 outs, 6 outs. I asked how he could say that when every ball was an "easy out?" His opinion is that a pitcher has to overcome all of that. Well, I pointed out how the first 6 out inning started. He didn't like it when I mentioned names. Yet, he could do it about the pitcher. Ironic!

Don't feel like you should leave this alone. Your's is a good, credible story that has a message for all of us out here...don't be a hypocrite. Take your lumps instead of dumping on others. I enjoyed reading your post.

One of the main things I learned from this site is to stay away from certain people....I have one good buddy that he and I stand down the line and everything heard from us is positive. Are we angels - no - questions some moves between us - sure, first ones to give an attaboy - you bet.

If you figure there are 20 plus guys on varsity and another 20 on JV, thats 40 parents, in my experience if you find 50% normal thats alot. No offence to the majority of the coaches, but there are a few wierd ones out there as well

quote:

Originally posted by catcher09:
One of the main things I learned from this site is to stay away from certain people....

Should I ask someone to squeeze a few posts in between yours and mine...to give you some distance from me?

Woodman, I think we would have a blast at a game - t-ball thru MLB.

Just the two of us?

LOVE that picture!!! A couple of years ago, son had a game up in Manchester, NH, and to get to the AAU field, we had to go past a game featuring little guys just like in the pic. Each team jersey had their sponsor's name on the back. Would you believe one of the teams of half pints was sponsored by "Porto-Potty"?! I have never seen a more appropriate sponsor for the little guys. Gotta love it.

As for the rest of the thread, when son was about 10, he'd already had enough of hearing parents either brag about their kid or rip somebody else's. He made me promise to never do that - no bragging, no schmoozing the coach, no finding fault with other players. He firmly believes in letting his play do the talking for him. I've bit my tongue so many times I think I may have nerve damage, but I respect his position.

My son changed me. He does not brag, and doesn't want Dad to say anything which can be construed as bragging. Over a period of time I listened and learned. I have also observed that the parents of kids who have accomplished a lot in baseball are rarely the ones who brag a lot about their kids.

We have all had the experience of sitting in the stands and listening to long-winded parent explanations of baseball exploits from either their youth, or that of their sons or daughters. Let's face it - that allows us to pass the time. If you really can't stand those conversations, then move your seat.

If anyone asks how my son is doing. I tell them a little, and then immediately ask about their son or daughter. Turnabout is fair play. Often times I may get long answers - many times those answers have nothing to do with baseball or sports. That's OK - and sometimes even interesting. If you don't want to know about their kid, don't ask.

I like that picture of the two young kids too. It reminds me of a simpler time.