Advice for a baseball mom

mom - I understand your thoughts. My only advice would be in the end it doesn't really matter who's providing the support for your son, as long as he's receiving it.

I have been divorced most of my son's life and the one providing guidance. I hope that your husband shares his thoughts, support, and encouragement on a daily basis to your son as that can make all the difference in the world IMO. My son does regret that his dad wasn't more involved. Those regrets will always be a part of his memories. I hate for any young man to feel that way.

However, as for yourself... you should appreciate and value every minute of your life. The years will pass by so quickly and God has given you such a blessing and opportunity. I was often the only mom standing at the fence watching a practice or meeting a college coach with my son. Sometimes, I'm positive that I wasn't given the credit I deserved for my baseball knowledge, passion, and interest. As I said though... it never disturbed me and in the end it made no difference. Baseball has provided such a great ride for my son and myself, that I feel richly blessed. Besides, if your son can play... no one cares if it's mom or dad that's been playing catch with him in the yard!

Nice post, Kentucky woman........

Pudgemom31, I getcha'.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I too have been the sole baseball parent. ( Husband is usually deployed somewhere. Military guy. )

At games, I'm pretty much ok, because there are lots of other moms around,..but at football combines and baseball showcases/camps, I'm usually the lone ranger mom floating ( sometimes drowning )in a sea of dad's. There are times, I have to admit, that I feel uneasy and almost always inadequate. These dad's talk the lingo. I do not, but I am learning. Got into a conversation with a group of dads the other night and used a HSBBW learned reference about switch hitting. The group got silent,... then they looked at me and said, " you're right shortstopmom ". ha! I'm sure I was grinning from ear to ear.( think maybe I earned a few baseball bonus points with the guys there,..but have to give all the credit to people here on the HSBBW who I have been listening and learning soooo much from!)

The truth is, I know squat,...and what little I do know is very simple. Play hard, dont get caught up in the hype, and be a realist about things. I've grown,..and I have learned a ton along side my son. I hope to learn alot more by watching those around me and reading everything I can get my hands on. There are many baseball opinions around out there. I like to keep it pretty basic because thats what works for my son. I stay in the background and let my son handle things. He knows I'm there and can find me sitting out in center field,...or at the head of the banquet buffet food line serving out the potluck, whichever. ( and yes,..I always have an extra sports physical copy in my purse, wipies, extra change for gatorades and of course even bandaides. ) You should have seen the dad's & coaches faces when I whipped out my instant cold pack during a practice for a jammed finger! ha!
Its a great thing to be a woman and sometimes in a mans world, we can make a difference,..even if its a small one.

As like what Lafmom wisely said,... whats important, the real clincher key, is that your son has someone who cares about him supporting him in the best way they know how.

I am greatful for the time I have had with both my boys. I kinda feel like we have had a special time that not all other moms have got to share. Its added another wrinkle and a second dimention to our relationships. ( I do want to go on record though and honestly admit that I never, ever, not once,... enjoyed watching my oldest son's wresting matches,..and if my face didnt show it cause I was putting on my brave-mom face, my insides were in knots and as sqeeezy as one can possibly imagine!)

Its not always easy,... but then again its the hard things that are sometimes most cherished down the road. Stick to your guns mom!! I'm sure you are doing an awesome job,..and if you ever see a gal named shortstawpmomma at a game or showcase,..please come sit by her. She would be more than glad to have the company!!!

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Originally posted by FormerObserver:
Nice post, Kentucky woman........

Thank you, sir!

Pudgemom,

I have walked your shoes for years. It was a hard road for my son and I. From the early age of "daddy ball" through high school. My son signed at a local CC in town this year; and I am his #1 fan. We went through everything together. Like your husband, little or no support. I can tell you it was hard. From "daddy ball" to politics in high school ball, we made it to the next level. One word of advice, learn everything you can about getting him to the next level. If he wants it,tell he he will have to work harder than the boys with the daddy's who are involved and building dugouts for the coaches. Get involved in all the fundraising stuff you can. Establish a relationship with the coach. Tell your son that noone can take away his dream. Always be positive with him and don't be afraid to walk up and sit right on those bleachers supporting him, keep your eyes and ears open - know the scouts in your area. He will have to work hard, get lessons and tell him never to doudt himself. If he doudts himself, you need to make him move on. Try to find him a mentor from a local college who plays/played baseball a male figure he can relate to and to practice his weaknesses with. Get him on a summer team that doesn't have a "daddy" running it. You will have to do this early. They intend to be more fair and help your son. Tell him he will have to contact the college coaches on his own they will respect him. Many "daddy's" do it for them. Bottom line, he will become a young man faster than these boys who have their daddy's hold their hands. I will gaurantte that he will be successful in college because he had to work hard to get it. LIVE,BREATH,AND EAT BASEBALL. Just my experience. I am very proud of my son. I am proud of me too. It was a long long road.

I can think of no players who have made it to the next level without talent, tenacity, and drive. Please don't downplay what our sons have done even though they have had the benefit of caring and involved fathers.

Pudgemom31:

A few years ago, when catcher #1 was trying his hand at pitching.....he can throw really fast, but accuracy isn't his greatest attribute...a chilly fall day...he starts out doing well, but ends up hitting a few batters (and for some reason, the coach didn't take him out) and then he gets more and more stressed out, pitches go from bad to worse, and finally the coach takes him out of the game. His FATHER of all people, yells, "its about time" at the top of his lungs in a scowling type of voice. I barely was able to stay in my seat and not do bodily harm to him. My kids will never wonder why their parents divorced when they were very young.

He leaves the games after just a few innings, or when our team gets behind, or when they put in a sub for my boys, or when they make an error, etc. My boys laugh about it, but I know it hurts their feelings, especially catcher #2, who isn't the all-star on his team. My ex doesn't seem to realize or care what he is doing to our kids. It would be better if he didn't come at all sometimes I think

So, what I'm trying to say, is that even though he cannot be physically there, I am hoping that his dad is emotionally there and supportive. My husband also works long hours and has no athletic talent at all, but he is very supportive of the boys emotionally.

By all means--don't just sit in the car!! You might miss something wonderful and if you miss it, then how would you/he feel? Best of luck--you are the greatest--a strong mom is a young man's treasure.

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a strong mom is a young man's treasure.

My college son is not away playing ball this summer. He went to an indoor facility here when he got home to see about hitting there this summer. They asked him to wait while the manager/owner was on the phone who wanted to talk to him. Anyway, son says the guy was on the phone to a dad who's comments were apparently about mom being intense and pushing her son. My son said the owner replied "I was an all-american and had a mom pushing me". "Most players that are successful have a mom behind them." "I've got a college kid standing right here and I bet he'd say his mom was behind him".

Having someone in your corner growing up that believes in you, encourages you, and provides for you is what all kids need. Moms are naturals in this role most of the time. If a kid is fortunate enough to have mom and dad.... then that kid has great things going for him! If a kid only has grandma trying to fill the roles, then he's lucky to have grandma. All kids need someone.... the one's that are unfortunate are the one's that have no one. We've all witnessed kids like that in our lives.

You've already gotten some great advice, so I'll just add a little about turning a perceived negative into a positive.

I have always been the baseball parent (his father is English), including coaching some of his teams along the way. I've loved the game since birth and was raised on its history, but I made a study of the mechanics and strategy when my son started playing. Learn everything you can about the game -- Tim McCarver's book (as irritating as he can be as an announcer) "Baseball For Brain Surgeons" is a good place to start.

This understanding will help you when choosing travel team coaches who will assist your son's game and will help your son when it comes time to choose a college. A player with a baseball-savvy Mom is unusual. Unusual is memorable. Memorable helps. (It's a given that nothing happens without the boys' talent drive and work, but as has been said here on other issues --- a detail can be a deciding factor.)

After coaching, umpiring, sitting in the stands for years of travel ball, four years of hs ball, and now four years of college games, let's debunk a little myth here, girls. Very, very few of the dads have a clue what they're talking about. Youth ball coaches don't read the rule book (I'm American and Male. Therfore I already know the rules.) My son had a series of diplomatic phrases to use with coaches who were coaching rubbish, as the last thing he could say would be "My Mom says". In the stands, they may have some of the phrases down, but the application of those canned phrases gives them away. Regard most of those 'baseball conversations' as flaunting plumage --- it gets them attention and they like to show off for the other boys. And it works, since the Other Boys are doing the same thing.

So it's a lot of fun when you get to dazzle them with science. Or, at least, your take on the role of leadoff hitters.

But the greatest benefit is the postgame (or watching games on TV) conversations with your son, when you can share more than attaboys with him.

Go get 'em!

Thank you for all your positive and encouraging words. It means a lot to know that I am not alone in my situation...sometimes I AM the only mom in the group, but I can talk baseball with the best of them. I truly believe that my support and encouragement can take my son just as far as that of a dad...I guess I just needed to hear it from other moms who have been there. My husband IS emotionally supportive and physically supportive when he can be...he just isn't around a lot, so it always has been me throwing bp, doing softtoss, playing catch, as well as driving to tourneys,lessons, etc. He also just doesn't seem to understand the importance of the game to our son, questioning the long drives, the camps, the lessons, and mostly, the Sunday games. On the flip side, my son has been very fortunate to have caring coaches and mentors who have been and continue to be great "baseball" role models. And of course, I will ALWAYS be there...I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world and baseball has been and continues to be some of the best memories we share.

Thanks again for all the emotional support and advice I have received...this forum is wonderful!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by pudgemom31:
Sometimes I feel like I am not taken as seriously by coaches, etc. as a dad would be.

Don’t worry about this. Once you get to high school age and beyond the coaches don’t pay any attention to the dads either. In addition, without fail when players get on TV they always say hi to Mom. They just seem to know.

quote:

without fail when players get on TV they always say hi to Mom. They just seem to know.

Momma didn't raise no dummy !!!!