Am I that guy?

deaconspoint,

I got a feeling that you will not be that guy! But a lot of other people will be!

Wow deaconspoint,...I sooo appreciate your honesty and candor!!! It seems to me that you are getting it all figured out,..and your son isnt even in highschool yet! In my book you are ahead of the game!! It seems so simple to say, " just let the kid play ", but IMHO, that is the key.

If you are already aware and hoping you're not " that guy ",..then chances are better than good, that you indeed, are not!

I'll keep your post in my head this season,...and ask myself when I get the urge to take the duck tape off my mouth,.." Am I that Mom " ??? Yep its true,..us moms can be just as guilty as the dad's.

If I recall correctly, I believe I remember you talking about this catcher before. How did he do the other night?

deaconspoint,

That was a REALLY good post!

quote:

by deconspt: begins giving short bursts of instruction. Weight back!! Stand in!! Hands!! Weight back!! Back!! Feet!! and so on.

kudos to you - very early on we were fortunate to have a great youth coach who put it this way to us parents ...

"in baseball, just like the arts & theatre, alot of teaching, sweat, repetition, and practice go into preparing for our "SHOWTIME / GAMETIME" . . . enjoy it the same way you'd enjoy those - clap, cheer, don't throw stuff & buy ice-cream for the performers"

Good post Deacon.

is there a difference between shouting advise to your son and make comments on the game?, harping on umpires and such? my father is loud durring games, getting on umpires mostley, and i never heard him until i would sit next to him in attendance at by brothers games. when i go to games i like to make little remarks on the game and point out bad calls, but i know how much coaches hate daddy coaching in the stands so i wait till after th game to give pointers.


as a player i block out everything from the crowd, i hear and see nothing.

it is very difficult for us, as parents to let our kids succeed. or fail. at an early age the game is fun, and that's what it was meant to be. sounds like you and your son will have fun.

Thanks for all the input everyone. Aidan and I are having a ton of fun right now and I'm looking forward to many more years of eye opening moments like this one. I just hope I can continue to be as aware as I was the other night. It was one of those subtle little taps on the shoulder from the man upstairs saying hey, pay attention kid, you'll learn something here if you listen to me.

Thanks again for all the kind words and comments. You know it's funny. I was thinking the other day, why am I posting on and reading a site that is geared toward HS baseball. It actually makes more sense than most realize. Just like when I want to get good advise or information on raising my children I go to someone who has been there. That is what you folks are here. You are an invaluable asset to those of us who are headed into what most of you have already been through. Thanks.

Shortstopmom,

As expected this catcher was lights out again. Honestly just a pleasure to watch. 100% hustle and from my very inexperienced view technically flawless. I paid special attention to the little things this time. Was he backing up first, how did he control the game, was he the leader in the field? I was not disappointed. Keep in mind I don;t really know that much abouot what I'm looking at and have just enough knowledge to make me dangerous, but in my opinion he's a fine looking ball player

Here's the kicker. Our team had a rough game, actually shut out 2-0 by soome pretty good pitching and a few very untimely errors. None of teh guys hit well and my catcher was no exception. This game was on Friday night, it's still spring break here mind you. Saturday morning I took my little girl to the park to goof off a little. She was up early and wanted to go look for baseballs. It's about 8:30am on Saturday and guess who's up at the ball park with someone throwing him BP. There were other teammates there as well so my hats off to all of them. It may have been called by a coach, but I'm sure on the last day of spring break a senior catcher could have probably ducked that one had he wanted to. It was not a full team deal, just about six guys throwing BP and hitting off a tee. I may be biased because the young man is a catcher and that's the position my son is taken with, but the boys got me sold.

By the way, he's an A student, actually 99.3% according to one baseball website and headed to Georgetown to play ball next year. I figure there are probably worse folks to have my boy hanging on this season. I wish the young man well in whatever he does.

deaconspoint - this is one of the more thoughtful and unique posts I have read here in quite some time. You did a great job of describing your thoughts and it it gave me pause to think back....

I was never the guy to shout instructions like that but I was the guy who would criticize my boys in public. Looking back, that was a mistake. Eventually, I learned not to do it and still have some regrets. I guess that some who are the guy today can learn how not to be the guy tomorrow Thoughtful posts like yours may just help someone come to that realization sooner rather than later.

Deaconspoint,

I was educated by my 9 years ago by my then 10 year old son (now playing his first year of college ball); he told me that he always heard my voice, and while I was never negative, it was distracting. I learned to just shush when guys are on the mound or in the batters box.

I umpire Little league and have seen 9 year olds step in the box and immediately hear from 3-4 different folks "move up", "move back", "tight to the plate", "elbow up", etc. Best thing our Little league did was cover the screen behind the plate on the backstop so now the "helpers" are further away. They mean well, but are absolutely not helpful.

Sat next to a mom whose son was struggling at the plate (12 yr old). She counted 22 pieces of advice from parents and coaches prior to him even him getting in the box. Dont know about you, but that would have me so wound tight there would be no way I could hit the ball.

My son tells me now he doesnt even hear it. I have always loved just something simple like "have some fun" or even the dreaded "see the ball, hit the ball".

Prior to a game, I always gave my son the vision of "hit the ball at the pichers head". That kept him balanced and produced line drives in the gaps. The problem with that advice is that its not really something you can yell out during a game

Good stories folks... I'll add one little piece from me. When my oldest son was playing youth and hs sports I was always very calm at his football and baseball games (i coached him in hs but he played summer ball for other coaches)... except when it came to basketball! For some reason i would get all riled up and yell at the refs... I don't know why; I look back on it and i'm embarassed i guess or i wouldn't be writing this... I'm doing better on my younger boys with the basketball thing... If I wasn't male I'd swear I am maturing.

Anyone who knows me knows that if you brought a thimble along with you, I would have trouble filling it up with my intimate baseball knowledge. With my oldest being the baseball player in the family, I always especially enjoyed his games because of my ignorance of the nuances of baseball athleticism.

After games we might talk about the psychology of games, and growing up I would push the benefits of a strong work ethic, but that's about it for my contributions.

Now my younger, he plays basketball...

What I've realized with my son is that the less thinking he does, the better. So it's best to save the instructions for when we are practicing, and leave him alone during games.

The funny thing about parents yelling at their kids is a lot of times the kids can't even hear them. So Dad is yelling to his kid in the outfield, "move over," and the kid is paying no attention.

Thank you deconspoint for the update on the catcher.
I would love to watch that kid play!!

When my oldest son was about 12 somehow I ended up sitting in a row of lawn chairs right behind the catcher just a few feet from the backstop, at a game against the perennial state champs. Suddenly I realize my son is going in as a relief pitcher with the bases loaded, and I think "Oh no, can I gracefully move to another spot, or would that be more distracting than sitting here quietly?". I stay put. He does fine! After the game I ask him, "Was it distracting to have me sitting right there behind the catcher when you were pitching in such a tight game?". He replies, "Oh, were you there? I don't see or hear anything off the field when I'm pitching".

About the only thing I will say to my son when he's pitching and struggling (which lately, thankfully, is rare) is to give him a rah-rah: "..Get tough, 8 !". He knows that's my cue to him to clear his mind, relax --breathe-- and not step onto that rubber until he knows he's going to compete.

Giving mechanical instructions during a game is clearly counter-productive. Baseball is a game of fluid, relaxed motions and the last thing a parent should want is an up-tight kid questioning his mechanical soundness when there are only two things he should focus on: The ball, and the glove.

Parents of high school starters are the ones, for the most part, that have learned to step aside and let the game unfold. At this point, a lot of our sons are far more knowledgeable about the game than we, and we should put a cork in it. If our sons are in need of mechanical instructions (during a game) it is probably too late anyway.

quote:

Parents of high school starters are the ones, for the most part, that have learned to step aside and let the game unfold. At this point, a lot of our sons are far more knowledgeable about the game than we, and we should put a cork in it.

deaconspoint - The fact that you recognized what he was saying and are ASKING yourself that question probably assures you that you WON'T be that guy! Most of what it takes to handle situations correctly is the understanding of what you are and what you aren't...many parents confuse what they THINK they know with what a coach DOES know, and that causes problems.