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Anatomy of a Great Parent of a High School or College Player

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Backstop-17Backstop-17500+ posts
Speaks only when spoken to by coach, except for greetings.

Is supportive of athlete’s academic habits.

Is not a member of the “jury” (collection of parents who judge every part of the team.)

Openly praises and cheers every player on team.

Openly supportive of coaches.

Support coaches to son, do not allow whining.

When approached by frustrated parent, support coaching decisions.

Helps newcomer parents feel welcome.

Encourages son to be a good teammate.

Provides son all equipment and drinks before they get to field (do not go to dugout, or have reason for son to approach parents during game.)
PT Pastime Trnments100+ posts
Parents:

Always supportive of the team and the school.

Does not interfere with the teachings of a coach. (go home and say you need to change this when i am telling him he needs to change this)

Communicates with other parents about what is taking place

Takes an interest in the son's life not just athletically but academically as well (We have some parents that believe there kid is just there to play baseball)

Offers up help on field days, cookouts, or team parties

Works the almighty concession stand with a smile


Is around during games and after practice. Shows the kid a good amount of love. Unfortunetly, we do get some parents that just do not care. It is sad.

So when the day is all said and done, I believe the best parent of a high school kid is one that shows a great deal of love and support to the student athlete as well as everyone on the team including the coaches. We are a family and need all of the support we can get.
Backstop-17Backstop-17500+ posts
Do as I say, not as I do....

I would have to admit that like a freshman to a senior, there is a lot of maturing that goes on for the parent also. It seems my feelings for the coach on this end of the ride (senior year) are a lot different than at the beginning of the varsity experience.

I think this does/will apply for college too. However, now I have the mentoring of all youse guys with sons who have been or are in college to lean on.

We might discuss that a bit in this thread, how have you as a parent changed during the ride?
BullwinkleBullwinkleBrown and Fuzzy Hero
quote:
Originally posted by LHPMom2012:
Just as long as there's no requirement that I have to look hot.

LHPMom


Mom's are always are expected to look hot...

Bullwinkle's motto number one: Players with Hot Moms have the best skills and most projectability.

Bullwinkle's motto number two: Mom's that wear white tennis shoes that have red stitching so it looks like a baseball are trying too hard. Kinda like that Mom that wears hot pants and a halter top...very sad.

Bullwinkle's motto number three: Gold necklace with son's number is classic.... gives the viewer the opportunity to find her son on the field.

I could go on...but MnMom would delete me....like Tron and other bad 80's computer films.
Last edited by Bullwinkle
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
how have you as a parent changed during the ride?

That is a good question. I have not changed one bit. I still try and show interest in the other players and never say anything about mine unless specifically asked. I don't mind talking but I also don't mind at all if everyone leaves me alone and does not notice me. I love to watch batting practice and that is really one time where I don't care to converse all that much. Since no one likes to get to the field as early as I do, I usually have my son give me a ride. I am there hours before the game and I love it. The coaches are always nice and say hi when they see me standing there. I love watching the pre-game rythyms of baseball. It has been the best of times.
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by deldad:
Anatomy of a GOOD high school parent:

The five tools-

1. A mouth that only utters positive things about the team.

2. A tongue that refuses to wag.

3. Eyes that are not covered with rose colored lenses

4. Hands that fit a rake.

5. A mind that has the capability of seeing the BIG PICTURE.

Great post! I'll be following the Angels closely this year. Who needs Mark Texiera Big Grin K-Rod might be a little harder to replace. I believe they have one of the best managers however. All the best to your son!
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
quote:
Originally posted by PGStaff:
Anyone here had the unpleasant experience of sitting next to a foolish parent?


Yup. Big Grin
Wel since Backstop nailed it.
I have a good one, and one that I will never forget. Son's freshman year at college, regionals. I was sitting next to mom of a former pitcher (her son may get the call this season) who was sitting next to her friend whose son was a current pitcher on the team. My son and the other pitcher were warming up in the BP. I think that everyone was expecting the junior redshirt (he had been drafted a few days before so you know he most likely wasn't returning) to go in as it would be his last home game. Nope, they put in son, the friend of the pitcher's mom went off the wall, making comments how could they do that to the player, how could they call in an inexperienced freshman in a pressure situation like that, blah, blah and I just sat there numb, as she had no clue who I was and everyone else did (including the players mom). After she was told to more or less shut up, instead of an apology, her reply was, "wait until it happens to your son someday".
BTW we won and advanced to the super. Smile
I know this happens often, folks just sitting at a game minding their own business when someone is just shooting their mouths off about the player, not realizing who may be listening. That is sad.
Last edited by TPM
justbaseballjustbaseball10,000+ posts
I have 6 kids. Hopefully by #6, I will have enough practice to at least be a "good" HS or college parent. The older few experienced many of my mistakes.

Backstop17 pretty much nailed it.

I'd like to add a little twist that I learned along the way. Sometimes I gotta just listen...and nudge, guide...nudge some more and listen some more. Not tell him he's wrong about whatever frustration he might have...but not quickly agree with every frustration either, even if I have it myself. Suggest alternate, more positive thinking.

Its something a lot of college freshmen experience...they go from being the star to being another good player on a team of 35 good players. Its the first time in their lives they experience that...the first time we parents experience that.

For some, that hits in HS, some in college, still others in pro ball. Only a very, very select few remain the top dog forever. As a parent, I feel you gotta sometimes sand down the rough edges.
Last edited by justbaseball
trojan-skippertrojan-skipper1,000+ posts
I only want to add one thing:

After your kids are all graduated; come back and help out, even if only a little bit. Paint, rake, sell brownies, something: it really means a lot to us coaches and it shows that it was something your family thought was a worthwhile endeavor.

One guy that helps me has a tractor (with a front end bucket the size of Texas)... he always helped when his boy was in school... maybe some parents thought that helped his son (the real fact is the kid threw strikes; sounds simple but you'd be surprised)...

anyway; a couple years after the kid is long gone that tractor still makes it over to my field anytime I need it.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
We still do that. I was just over at the field recently, sometimes I fill in during season for the parents so they can give up concession and husband stopped by tonight. The coach knows he can always count on us to help.
We got an unusual request tonight, will let you all know about it if it happens.
Backstop-17Backstop-17500+ posts
The parents that bother me the most are those who can't be happy for others. Specifically, there are parents of starters that have a rather "caustic" attitude towards the backup kid to their son's position and his parents.

When their kid gets taken out in later innings, they nitpick the backup and his faults. I guess they are trying to preserve their son's starting position.

I just don't understand it. I read the below quote from an article about Buster Posey in the Giants spring training camp. We have been a Buster fan (who couldn't be.) But now I am a Bengie Molina fan also:

QUOTE:

Posey's job, particularly while he's in camp with the Giants, is to absorb as much knowledge as possible. Sunday, for example, Bengie Molina tutored him on executing the proper footwork on pitchouts -- a subtlety that distinguishes a polished catcher from a poor one.

It was an intriguing scene, given Molina's eligibility for free agency after this season. If he doesn't leave the Giants next winter, he could be jettisoned in a midseason trade if they aren't competitive. Either scenario could hasten Posey's arrival in the Majors.

None of this concerned Molina as he showed Posey how best to emerge from a crouch.

"I've never been a hypocrite and I've never been a guy who wishes somebody else bad," said Molina, winner of the "Willie Mac" Award as the most inspirational Giant in both of his seasons with the team. "Even if you're the guy who might take my position, I don't care. If I can help him to be a better person and a better player ... I'll get more satisfaction than if I didn't try."

END QUOTE

On our team, the people we are closest to and socialize with are the other catcher parents. The kid we and 17 cheer the most for is the backup catcher. He is a hard worker and deserves our respect. It seemed it was that way when 17 was the backup catcher - the starter and family in front of him were some of our closest friends, and still are.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
I find that somewhat sad, as a parent of a starting pitcher, we always supported whoever came in for relief, some folks don't realize how important that is. If you are the pitcher and pitching for the win and can't make a complete game, that relief pitcher is very important in his role to help preserve the win, if the team is behind, close or a tie, the reliver has the most important role of keeping the team in the game.
Those parents who feel their son will lose the start are insecure in their confidance in their player.
When one weekend starter on college team lost his start for the weekend and son was put in, we felt so bad (but happy for son) and the parents (probably the best team parents I have ever had the pleasure of meeting) told us not to feel badly at all, son deserved it.
We went through the same when it happened to ours, but we made sure that the player's parents (who felt badly as we did) understood it was not about us and we were ok with it (he deserved it).It's important for parents to show their support for each other.

Parent chemistry also is very important.
P PGStaff10,000+ posts
I’ve told this story before, but for those who missed it… This is as accurate as I can remember it…

My son was pitching in a high school playoff game. An old friend of mine was umpiring. The stands were full and I found an empty seat next to a dad who was always loud and obnoxious. I never really talked to him so figured everything would be OK.

Anyway, my old friend the umpire called a balk on my son. No problem, it was probably a balk. The guy seated next to me went bonkers calling the umpire names. It went fairly unnoticed because lots of others were complaining as well.

The very next inning, the other teams pitcher slipped and stopped his delivery on the first hitter. (no baserunners). As this happened the guy sitting next to me screams out at the top of his lungs… BALK! BALK! BALK! No one else said a word and he continued yelling and calling the umpire names. He hollered out to my friend the umpire, “Call them the same way for both teams”. I told him it wasn’t a balk, but he wasn’t into listening. Of course, most everyone knew it wasn’t a balk, so the rest of the crowd was pretty quiet.

The loud mouth finally caught on and shut up about the same time that everyone was looking directly where all the noise was coming from. Players were even stepping out of the dugout and looking up to see who the idiot was that was making all the noise. I couldn’t help but feel like there were a thousand eyes staring at ME, being seated right there where all the noise was coming from.
P PGStaff10,000+ posts
Another parent story, but this one involves a less than perfect parent who was yours truly.

My youngest son was pitching in an American Legion game. I was a very critical parent but would do my bit**ing very quietly. Usually whispering to my wife who would get aggravated at my ranting… I’d say things like “What in the he** is he doing out there” or “What is wrong with him”. She would always give me dirty looks without saying a word.

Well the kid wasn’t throwing very well that day IMO, so I was doing a lot of whispering. All of a sudden a lady sitting right in front of us turned around and told me… “If you know so much why don’t you coach! Why don’t you be more supportive of the kids”

My wife told her, he is a coach! I should have left it alone, but the way she said it and the know-it-all, better than you, look on her face really got me POed. So, like an idiot, I lit into her! I said something like… “Listen lady, you’ve got rabbit ears because I have been whispering and my only complaints have been about our son! I haven’t mentioned anything negative about anyone else and for sure not your son. So why don’t you just turn around and shut your mouth and quit being so nosey!” Really I might not have been quite that nice. The lady then said something about how I should support my son no matter how he is doing. I was about to go ballistic over this woman’s unasked for advice about parenting when I looked at my wife who was now staring some pretty mean daggers at me.

As we were leaving another parent who heard me tell off the mom stopped us and said “Thank You, she is always telling other parents how they should do everything”. Anyway, there was no excuse for my actions, but that person stopping to say that, might have saved my rear end from some serious punishment from the wife. Later I did tell wife that I was stupid, but just didn’t like the way she looked when scolding me. To my surprise, she said she didn’t blame me. I said, now you might understand why I always try to sit by myself.

Not one of my prouder moments.
06catcherdad06catcherdad1,000+ posts
Here's a parent story along the lines of this topic.

Last year, I was at a high school game, a school that a lot of my summer players attend. It is a school with some highly opinionated parents, and they all expect their son to have a significant role on the team. Now keep in mind, I have these same parents for summer ball, and I hardly ever hear a peep out of any of them.

As I was standing and watching the game, several of the parents got going on a rant about what is wrong with how the coach runs the HS team, what should be done differently, who SHOULD be playing instead of who IS playing and other topics that the parents know more about than the coaches.

I just stood there, listening but not saying anything for a while. After I'd heard plenty, I thanked the parents for sharing their thoughts and told them how grateful I was that they were so candid. When one of the parents asked why I was thanking them, I simply said "Now I know how you guys talk about me when we're playing summer ball."

I thought a couple of the moms were gonna faint!
BumBum1,000+ posts
I have a feeling this thread is going to explode!

Thanks to HSBBW, as a high school parent I think I've evolved from pseudo-loudmouth to the guy who sits quietly and digests. Considering that it's not my nature to be passive I will say it has been a chore, but I do it for the sake of my kid. Now that he's in college, and there is more rah-rah and talking.. man, I'm tempted!

As for loud-mouth parents, I was the assistant coach of a middle school team and Bum, Jr. was on the mound. He gave up a fly ball to left field and the guy muffs it. I innocently called out to the mound and told Bum, Jr. "Hey that's alright, not your fault.."

You guessed it. Mom on the sidelines starts going bananas, cussing, creating a scene. After the game, the head coach approached me and told me the lady laid into him and said she was filing a formal protest with the athletic director about my conduct, and the coach said I would have to visit the school office and explain.

It was the last game of the season. I politely told the coach, "Tell the athletic director I resign."
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