Not for nothing but I looked at the recruiting process as the first step of my son moving into the adult stage of his life---he made all his college visits on his own and with no problems, I might add--he made all his decisions regarding pro tryouts etc on his own, again with no problems.
Some how or other it all worked out regardless of how I as a parent felt regarding the fit--the fit was for him not me
MIKAMOM---don'y worry about it--your son is without a doubt better off because YOU and DAD stayed out of it--just think about it --he learned how to communicate with adults and after all the school was recruiting him not MOM and DAD.
Good luck to your son the rest of the way
How is he better off?
My son is a SR and an honors student. H ehas had a great experience and has worked the last 2 years on campus. He has a great scholarship both athletic and academic. He just received a $2000. increase in the BB money without asking. Many would die for his deal.
He has also had an offer to pay for his post grad studies by the international company he worked for. He has had an offer to coach a nationally ranked 18U elite team last summer and has just had an offer to help with a nice pay cheque, a pitching school under a pro coach. Not sure what diff his making phone calls to the coach would make
He also has to fund raise which he has no problem doing. They go out and talk to local businesses and ask for contributions for the team and sell things to raise money. Talking to a BB coach is a snap.
People keep saying you have one shot at this which if it were true you would delegate job to the one who can do it best. Don't get hung up and proving your son is a man.
According to my daughters playing BB and getting a huge scholarship is a joke.
My son is a SR and an honors student. H ehas had a great experience and has worked the last 2 years on campus. He has a great scholarship both athletic and academic. He just received a $2000. increase in the BB money without asking. Many would die for his deal.
He has also had an offer to pay for his post grad studies by the international company he worked for. He has had an offer to coach a nationally ranked 18U elite team last summer and has just had an offer to help with a nice pay cheque, a pitching school under a pro coach. Not sure what diff his making phone calls to the coach would make
He also has to fund raise which he has no problem doing. They go out and talk to local businesses and ask for contributions for the team and sell things to raise money. Talking to a BB coach is a snap.
People keep saying you have one shot at this which if it were true you would delegate job to the one who can do it best. Don't get hung up and proving your son is a man.
According to my daughters playing BB and getting a huge scholarship is a joke.
quote:Originally posted by 1BDad:
rz1,
That's a good point. We sent out the whole range of letters, none to what I consdier "elite" schools. However, MIZZOU is approaching that status...
Our efforst are from JUCO, DIII, DII and a couple D-I. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to who has responded so I'm not sure it could be construed as only "top level" school.
But even in the normal everyday world, we see people who profess to be too busy for this or that. However, they never seem busy when we talk to them....
1Bdad,
Never take it personal. As far as there is no rhyme or reason as to who will contact you, you are correct.
Coaches of top tier programs are very busy and coaches of other divisions and lower tiers are as well. I read somewhere that because of low coaching salaries some coaches have other work commitments to support their families. Some even teach at the place where they coach.
At larger programs the HC leaves the recruiting to the people he pays well to do that job. In smaller programs some coaches have to do it all. And for most, it's a lifestyle all right. Your phone is always ringing and your mail box is always full. My son told me that very often after a game, his coach would be on the phone to a recruit after a game, the man never stopped. Sometimes it even affects their personal lives. There is a high divorce rate among college coaches. Many are single for that reason, it's a 24/7 job. When you are not recruiting, you are in practice at a game. This is why many recruiting coaches and head coaches of smaller programs work all summer on the road to find players, so they can give their players and family a bit more time. This is also one of the reasons that the NCAA has a recruiting calender in place for D1 schools.
Do remember that for D2 and D3 shools, they do much of their serious recruiting after the D1 early signing.
Good advice given, you can be persistant, it does pay off, but try to really concentrate on the coaches that DO call and email.
Mika I would suggest you pick the approach that workd for you. No matter which way you do it it is always better to do what you do the best you can. Both approaches can work.
quote:I should have let my husband make some of those calls like other dads did.
As a HS Junior my son created a recruiting web page, selected 50 schools he was interested in at all levels both academically and athletically, initially received interest from 15-20 schools. He then made 5 official visits, 4 of which required air travel. I dropped him off at the airport on a Friday, picked him up on Sunday, but had phone discussions with him each night he was gone to get a feel of where he was in the process. He talked to all the coaches and matrixed the plusses and minuses of each school to keep me up to date. Before he verbally committed I had my first talk with the coach about financial issues and to get a general feel of the land.
I trusted his decision making process, after all he was the one going to the school and playing for that team, not me. This was probably the greatest learning experience of his life. I was close by if he needed any help but at the time we thought this was opportunity that could never be learned in the classroom and it turned out just that.
It was journey of supervised trust. As a parent I had initial reservations and sleepless nights worrying that I let the leash out too far. In the end I came to grips that if this boy was old enough to make a decision to give his life in war, he was darn old enough decide where he was going to follow his baseball/college dream, and if he didn't know he was going to learn with mom/dad in the background giving support and ideas but not the main part of the decision. .
I'm sure others will rip me for this coarse of action, but the end results are very satisfying and I now sleep very well.
The last thing I want to do is depict my son as a super hero. He was a B average HS student but he understood that there was an outside the box. When I realized that I gave him a boost to look over the top and I found out that a 17-18 year old kid has some great ideas when he sees whats out there.
.
Mikamom...
Here is my answer to your question...of parental involvement in recruting..
Went down this recruiting road road 2 boys...4 years of recruting process...go to know maybe 60 sets of parents and players well and watched their processes...and my observation is...IMO, Do what you will, with who you will (parent/player)...in the end beyond getting initially seen...it's less about marketing and who does it...and much more about talent/need. Saw some absolutley outstanding marketing projects fall on deaf ears....and saw some players with NO marketing get instant offers on the first look. It's very, very easy to overthink the process.
For us it was a family project...not his or mine...but ours together...a teachable moment...
44
Mikamom...
Here is my answer to your question...of parental involvement in recruting..
Went down this recruiting road road 2 boys...4 years of recruting process...go to know maybe 60 sets of parents and players well and watched their processes...and my observation is...IMO, Do what you will, with who you will (parent/player)...in the end beyond getting initially seen...it's less about marketing and who does it...and much more about talent/need. Saw some absolutley outstanding marketing projects fall on deaf ears....and saw some players with NO marketing get instant offers on the first look. It's very, very easy to overthink the process.
For us it was a family project...not his or mine...but ours together...a teachable moment...
44
ob44,
different strokes for different folks
different strokes for different folks
quote:Originally posted by mikamom:
Okay, now that I have calmed down some, I would still like to know the answer to that question. After reviewing the recruiting questions forum, I see that just one or two have openly admitted to this.
We just recently had another discussion on this here.
We helped son in the process with the paperwork and homework on researching schools, but calls were initiated, returned and taken by him, we never spoke on his behalf, even when we got calls when he wasn't here. The only coaches we actually spoke to more often in the end was the two when he had narrowed down his choices.
My son is no different that anyone elses here. He is very personable and articulate but many times he did not want to take calls from coaches and speak with them, but he did. If they called and left a message he called when he felt comfortable doing so. IMO, that was HIS responsibility. He sometimes had an attitide I didn't like, if they don't call me I am not calling you. But that was HIS decision to take that route. I have told this story before, for my son it was all about the U, for our family too. July 1 came and went with no call, second week, third week no call. My husband kept telling him to call, nope, he wasn't going to and dad and I weren't either. How many folks would have made that call for their son? Many.
Finally the call came, then another, then another call for an official visit, but strange as it was, he wasn't interested anymore, there were those who had called initially and had been for weeks. Some had been emailing him for quite a while. Relationships were developing. He realized by that time he most likely was not on their A list and they knew darn well who he was, so it wasn't because they had no clue or he needed introductions. He said NO THANK YOU to his dream school.
My husband was a bit disappointed, oh well, he wasn't going there.mikamom,
Do not feel badly, you are not alone. Everyone has different ways of handling situations. There is no right or wrong, the bottom line is the end result. What works for you may not work for anyone else.
I have to agree with rz on a few points
, the player that has no fear to go out and compete and be successful should have no fear to speak to the person who will be his mentor for the next 4 years. Some coaches sense that players that won't speak with them may not have the confidance needed for his program if mom or dad have to speak on his behalf. Plus, if you initiate a call for your son, don't get ****ed off when they offer what you feel is an insulting scholarship. Remember YOU told the coach that your son would love to come to play for his program. Well, if you love it so much, why would they want to give you lots of $$ unless your son is a stud. If you do call, be careful and contain your enthusiasm, it may backfire. BTW, if your son needs an elective in HS, try debate. We made that suggestion to son and after debate 1 and 2 he got pretty good at feelign more comfortable getting up to speak. This may overcome shyness.
quote:tpm quote:
I have to agree with rz on a few points
tpm, have you been drinking
Nice call on that debate class option
quote:Originally posted by mikamom:
Call me naive. This is all very interesting. Now that the senior year has come and gone, and everyone is where they are at for this season, some parents are actually admitting that they did indeed talk directly to the coach - FIRST - before the player. And that the parents were the ones who negotiated the "deal". Seems like much of what I read on this board (although it is very helpful in other ways) is that the PLAYER is supposed to be the one who does - all- the contacting. Well, I guess my family missed the boat - because we had the player do the contacting and let him make the calls - which was hard for him. We thought that was just the way it was supposed to be. Yes, he got calls back, but not always from his first picks. (And yes, he probably wasn't athletically what those schools were looking at - so we don't have to bring that up.)
My point is that until now this forum has made a really big deal out of it that the player is supposed to do all the talking - and parents - should stay out of it. According to a lot of you, that's the way it is supposed to be done, but in reality, that's not how it happens. That is disappointing and misleading to those of us whe are not as experienced as others in this business. Even moreso when we have one son and one shot out of high school.
I should have let my husband make some of those calls like other dads did.
My player is now making more calls as a jc player - and his desire is just as strong if not stronger. I am proud of him and his accomplishments, and in the end, he'll be better off having gone through this first hand than having someone else do it for him.
mikamom - you are not naive at all.
My experience is vastly different than 99% of the people that post on this site. It all starts with the premise that my son and I are a team. He loves the game with all his heart and soul, I have always loved the game, and he trusts me implicitly to help him achieve his goals. I never had one qualm about calling a coach. I knew the final decision would always be his but I wanted him to have my opinion as to what my take was. When I talked with the coach, it was for information gathering only. I wanted to hear what their opinion was and be able to question them from my perspective. I never tried to sell or promote my son to them as I assumed they heard that type of stuff from most parents. In most of the recruiting contacts we had, I was usually the one who scoped things out initially with a brief phone call.
When the coach called him with an offer, we each had our opinion as to whether or not it was the right fit. IMHO, two heads are better than one.
Obviously, there are many ways to skin this cat and others have had success with the player making all the contact. We did what was natural to us and that is how I would advise people to handle it.
quote:My player is now making more calls as a jc player - and his desire is just as strong if not stronger. I am proud of him and his accomplishments, and in the end, he'll be better off having gone through this first hand than having someone else do it for him.
mikamom,
I enjoyed this post...a lot.
Tonight as I was cooking dinner about 6:30pm, the door opened. It was our son home from Texas where he is now a 1st year coach at his Alma Mater.
In 1999/2000, he made it clear the college choice would be his.
While I have always felt, and he clearly proved, he who would have succeeded at any DI, he ended up with a choice of a very good DIII and some very late interest for a solid DI and a DI that is usually 15-40 in the Big West.
Well, today he has played at the highest level DIII has to offer, had great summer experiences, done wonderfully well in Milb, and now is the assistant head coach at the DIII where he started.
He is so anxious to start his first Fall Ball on 9/25.
He has an Excel spreadsheet set up for 2009 recruiting, and just finished a complete revision of the strength and conditioning program the team will start on 9/25.
He absolutely loves working with his former head coach.
He has nothing but optimisim and love for the game of baseball and his potential future in it, hopefully as a head coach.
With the successes he has experienced, I am not sure I have ever seen him so confident and happy as when he bounced through the door tonight.
Tonight I realized everything he has done in baseball he has done on his own. He has shown passion, desire, dedication, and some talent.
Perhaps, most importantly, he has shown that when he is on the field, he is in the place where he knows he can succeed, where he feels no one is better, and where he feels confident.
Tonight I have no regrets.
Our son did this on his own. He has ownership of his past, ownership of his future, and the confidence that between the foul lines, he, his players, and his teams, will be successful.
He knows he doesn't need to ask me. He knows.
.
Some really great stuff here...
44
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Some really great stuff here...
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I have just come to expect this. Every letter or email I write,and I get some sort of response,is a victory in itself
It seems like you have to know someone who knows someone,or just be a flat out stud on some days!
It seems like you have to know someone who knows someone,or just be a flat out stud on some days!
I am reading this with amazment. I called because my son was too busy to cal. I was also available at all hours with a toll free phone and it was a team work. It was not a case of my son afraid to talk to coaches or not wanting to talk to them. Coaches that got to a point of wanting to talk to him gave me their cell phone numbers and a good time to call.
All of the pro son do it all seem to think it is lack of confidence or desire. Trust me my son doesn'y lack confidence. His typical day included basketball at 6:30 AM school more BKTB and homework. Then he was off to BB practice or games. He travelled all over Canada and the US for both BKTB and BB. HJe played quad A BKTB winning the district championships several times and going to the Ontario finals. I never talked to a coach who wasn't impressed and totally understanding. I'm not sure why parents say its either or . It is about the best way to do things.
At college my son works, gets great grades and plays D1 BB 900 miles from home. He finds time to go out with friends and has a great social life. He even keeps in contact with players who have graduated and moved far away. He does charitable work and is a solid no problem young man. He has a Soc Sec number and a SC drivers licence. He gives speeches in class and gets raves from his coaces, international student coordinator and has been offered jobs while at school and to have post grad paid for.
People I get the impression that if the parent participates heavily in the process he is a pimply faced, intravert who is doomed to fail. Get real, either way works aqnd it only reflects on your intelligent choice to get the job done.
THINK OF SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PEOPLE. tHEY SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY DELEGATE.
All of the pro son do it all seem to think it is lack of confidence or desire. Trust me my son doesn'y lack confidence. His typical day included basketball at 6:30 AM school more BKTB and homework. Then he was off to BB practice or games. He travelled all over Canada and the US for both BKTB and BB. HJe played quad A BKTB winning the district championships several times and going to the Ontario finals. I never talked to a coach who wasn't impressed and totally understanding. I'm not sure why parents say its either or . It is about the best way to do things.
At college my son works, gets great grades and plays D1 BB 900 miles from home. He finds time to go out with friends and has a great social life. He even keeps in contact with players who have graduated and moved far away. He does charitable work and is a solid no problem young man. He has a Soc Sec number and a SC drivers licence. He gives speeches in class and gets raves from his coaces, international student coordinator and has been offered jobs while at school and to have post grad paid for.
People I get the impression that if the parent participates heavily in the process he is a pimply faced, intravert who is doomed to fail. Get real, either way works aqnd it only reflects on your intelligent choice to get the job done.
THINK OF SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PEOPLE. tHEY SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY DELEGATE.
I have yet to deal with the baseball recruiting experience but my oldest daughter is a scholar athlete so I'll share some of those experiences. Take them for what they're worth.
Dad vs daughter (or son) calling coaches - My daughter was very apprehensive about the whole recruiting process. She's a very good student and athlete but she never really embraced the process so I handled most of it for her. Although I had read on here many times that the athlete should initiate contact and speak with the coaches, it was never really an issue....until one fall day. We were sitting in the coach's office and he was interviewing her, telling her his expectations and so on. At the end of the meeting he said something along the lines of "Now keep in touch with me Lil Beezerette. I enjoy hearing from your dad but YOU are the one I'm recruiting so I expect to hear from YOU from now on".
Best teams = best communication - Early on in her search for schools, my daughter and I compiled a list of schools she thought she would be interested in attending. Some of the schools were real stretches but we figured if she didn't put her name out there, she might not get the chance. She sent them (hard copy via snail mail) a customized cover letter with a profile attached. Throughout her season she would update the coach on how she was doing. Ironically, it seemed as though some of the better programs were the ones that kept in touch with here throughout the process. To be honest, some of the responses were along the lines of "here are our expectations and you need to improve in these areas". But at least they were communicating. She was probably not a good fit for the better teams but at least she knew where she stood.
As a side note, a bit of an ironic twist happened last year. One of the head coaches that recruited her, left his program for family reasons. He told her at the time they were looking for girls who could play at a certain level. To put it in baseball terms, he was looking for LHP's cruising in the 90's. Well that was a no brainer. We laughed because which program wasn't!!! Anyway, he decided to get back into coaching and is now her asst coach. Once he got settled he approached her and said her name was familiar. She told him that they had corresponded during her recruiting but she "wasn't good enough" so she went to her current school instead (which always beats his former school) and they got a good laugh out of it.
Dad vs daughter (or son) calling coaches - My daughter was very apprehensive about the whole recruiting process. She's a very good student and athlete but she never really embraced the process so I handled most of it for her. Although I had read on here many times that the athlete should initiate contact and speak with the coaches, it was never really an issue....until one fall day. We were sitting in the coach's office and he was interviewing her, telling her his expectations and so on. At the end of the meeting he said something along the lines of "Now keep in touch with me Lil Beezerette. I enjoy hearing from your dad but YOU are the one I'm recruiting so I expect to hear from YOU from now on".
Best teams = best communication - Early on in her search for schools, my daughter and I compiled a list of schools she thought she would be interested in attending. Some of the schools were real stretches but we figured if she didn't put her name out there, she might not get the chance. She sent them (hard copy via snail mail) a customized cover letter with a profile attached. Throughout her season she would update the coach on how she was doing. Ironically, it seemed as though some of the better programs were the ones that kept in touch with here throughout the process. To be honest, some of the responses were along the lines of "here are our expectations and you need to improve in these areas". But at least they were communicating. She was probably not a good fit for the better teams but at least she knew where she stood.
As a side note, a bit of an ironic twist happened last year. One of the head coaches that recruited her, left his program for family reasons. He told her at the time they were looking for girls who could play at a certain level. To put it in baseball terms, he was looking for LHP's cruising in the 90's. Well that was a no brainer. We laughed because which program wasn't!!! Anyway, he decided to get back into coaching and is now her asst coach. Once he got settled he approached her and said her name was familiar. She told him that they had corresponded during her recruiting but she "wasn't good enough" so she went to her current school instead (which always beats his former school) and they got a good laugh out of it.
You seem more than a little defensive, BBH.
quote:Originally posted by BobbleheadDoll:
THINK OF SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PEOPLE. tHEY SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY DELEGATE.
I agreed until this point. I would imagine that very few high school aged student athletes "delegate" this task to their parents.
Son got a call from a coach last night. He was at the gym lifiting and missed the call. His 12 year old sister answered the phone and took the message. I was to busy watching the SF Giants play and had her answer the phone. Any thoughts on a 12 year old sister getting involed in the recuritng process?
Son plans on calling the coach back today can't wait to see how he handles himself. This will be his first call with a coach.
Son plans on calling the coach back today can't wait to see how he handles himself. This will be his first call with a coach.
I am always on the defence.
My point is that doing it one way doesn't mean you son is a wimp. I think he has proven that. I think both ways can be successful but those who suggest that a kid is not confident because he was mature enough to enlist his dad to help him get the job done is a smart kid.
Beezer you got your daughter to the table and that is what I did. Some asked to talk to my son but only as talks got serious. Their main question was does he want to play for us. If one of the coaches had said we want to talk to your son only I would have said great. What time do you get up and what time do you go to bed ?
My point is that doing it one way doesn't mean you son is a wimp. I think he has proven that. I think both ways can be successful but those who suggest that a kid is not confident because he was mature enough to enlist his dad to help him get the job done is a smart kid.
Beezer you got your daughter to the table and that is what I did. Some asked to talk to my son but only as talks got serious. Their main question was does he want to play for us. If one of the coaches had said we want to talk to your son only I would have said great. What time do you get up and what time do you go to bed ?
quote:Any thoughts on a 12 year old sister getting involved in the recruiting process?
She'll probably seal the deal!
quote:Son plans on calling the coach back today can't wait to see how he handles himself. This will be his first call with a coach.
Make sure he has a pen and paper handy-dandy.
They grow and learn with each conversation, making it easier as time goes on.
Best of luck!!!
quote:I think both ways can be successful but those who suggest that a kid is not confident because he was mature enough to enlist his dad to help him get the job done is a smart kid.
Who suggested that? I missed it.
My son asked me to help him so he did. It was not a plea of desperation it was a logical delegation of time management. I had all day and nighyt to contact schools and look up info. He would ask me to check out certain colleges and I would do it. If he liked what I found out he would ask me to email the coach and / or send a DVD to them. I also followed up after a couple weeks to see if coach.coordinator had received and had a chance to view the DVD. It was simple and worked like a charm. Most coaches were happy that a kid from Canada had an interest in their program. I always had some info on the program that I mentioned that stood out fror us and I mentioned any BB guys they might have that my son played against.
We were getting lots of calls etc from colleges that had seen him but most were cold weather colleges. We both agreed that warm weather was not negotiable. If you only get 1 chance to play 4 years of D1 ball you live it as a blonde.
We were getting lots of calls etc from colleges that had seen him but most were cold weather colleges. We both agreed that warm weather was not negotiable. If you only get 1 chance to play 4 years of D1 ball you live it as a blonde.
Bobblehead,
Can I adopt your son?
Can I adopt your son?
I'm not sure I have any rights to him anymore.
BobbleheadDoll,
I helped my son also. Didnt talk to coaches unless they called here looking for him and I would give them his cell number. sometimes the coaches would ask if i had a minute to talk so it happens that way.
But I helped with the bio sheet and we worked on putting packs together. he checked his own emails and answered. He had to return calls and I remember the first time how nervous he was but it got easier. He grew up a lot during the process.
My son got up three mornings a week at 5am worked out before school, went to school maintained a 3.6 and came home after 6 many nights to 2-3 hours of homework. Never got into trouble and yeah we helped him in the process nothing wrong with that. Now hes in college and at a JC and he takes care of everything. Little by little he has taken the reigns. Thans what parenting is as they grow you give them little and little pieces to take care of and they learn to fly. somekids are quicker than otheres but they get it. all our boys are different and we all love them. there isnt an absolute in how to do everything. You learn as You go. Your son sounds like a fine young man.
I helped my son also. Didnt talk to coaches unless they called here looking for him and I would give them his cell number. sometimes the coaches would ask if i had a minute to talk so it happens that way.
But I helped with the bio sheet and we worked on putting packs together. he checked his own emails and answered. He had to return calls and I remember the first time how nervous he was but it got easier. He grew up a lot during the process.
My son got up three mornings a week at 5am worked out before school, went to school maintained a 3.6 and came home after 6 many nights to 2-3 hours of homework. Never got into trouble and yeah we helped him in the process nothing wrong with that. Now hes in college and at a JC and he takes care of everything. Little by little he has taken the reigns. Thans what parenting is as they grow you give them little and little pieces to take care of and they learn to fly. somekids are quicker than otheres but they get it. all our boys are different and we all love them. there isnt an absolute in how to do everything. You learn as You go. Your son sounds like a fine young man.
quote:Originally posted by BobbleheadDoll:
Beezer ..... What time do you get up and what time do you go to bed ?
I travel for work, sometimes to far flung places. So it seems like I might be up all night but not really!!!
I'm not going to get into how we handled our recruiting process, but I will say that it does bother me somewhat when some posters get on here and say this is the way it should be done. Not a problem with "this is how we handled it and that's what worked best for us". To tell someone that there is one set way to handle the recruiting process in my opinion is misleading (unintentional of course) and can only make the whole situation even more intimidating. The coaches involved will eventually tell you and/or your son how THEY would like it handled.
Let me just say that our son at the time was so shy that just texting the coach caused him to turn beet red and take deep breaths into a paper bag.
Let me just say that our son at the time was so shy that just texting the coach caused him to turn beet red and take deep breaths into a paper bag.
Every one does this "getting into college" differently. And that is ok. My point was that it seemed like the people who had done this before made a big thing about having the player do the calling themselves.
We all have great kids - that's certain. And they are busy!
We all have great kids - that's certain. And they are busy!
This topic hs certainly gotten off track, the original question was are college coaches truly that busy that they can't return emails or phone calls.
Answer, yes, they are truly busy and don't return phone calls unless they want to speak to you.
There are three ways you can handle this, move on, make the call or have your son make the initial call. You decide what's best for your situation.
There is no set rule to follow.
When parents are making the initial call, make it an introductory call, not to sell your son to someone who they may know nothing about it. Ask them what you have to do (have you seen his video, have you received his questionaire, have you seen him play) for interest. Also, it's best to get in touch with the recruiting coordinator directly.
There is a right way to proceed in this and also a wrong way. JMO.
Answer, yes, they are truly busy and don't return phone calls unless they want to speak to you.
There are three ways you can handle this, move on, make the call or have your son make the initial call. You decide what's best for your situation.
There is no set rule to follow.
When parents are making the initial call, make it an introductory call, not to sell your son to someone who they may know nothing about it. Ask them what you have to do (have you seen his video, have you received his questionaire, have you seen him play) for interest. Also, it's best to get in touch with the recruiting coordinator directly.
There is a right way to proceed in this and also a wrong way. JMO.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with a coach being too busy or not too busy.
Perhaps one or more of the following aspects come into play:
01--they do not need players at your sons position
02-- he is down the line in their pecking order
03-- they have seen and have no interest whatsoever in his talent or lack thereof
Just because your son son or you, the parent, like the school does not automatically make it happen and the good ole days of the sons of alumni getting in just because does not happen anymore.
The first thing I like to do with a college coach is find out what positions they need to fill---then we go from there.
Perhaps one or more of the following aspects come into play:
01--they do not need players at your sons position
02-- he is down the line in their pecking order
03-- they have seen and have no interest whatsoever in his talent or lack thereof
Just because your son son or you, the parent, like the school does not automatically make it happen and the good ole days of the sons of alumni getting in just because does not happen anymore.
The first thing I like to do with a college coach is find out what positions they need to fill---then we go from there.
Nawp, there is not a standard way that recruiting occurs, but there are some similarities.
I haven't seen this mentioned in this thread, but there are some restrictions on coaches making contact with the players during the recruiting process.
In my opinion, I think that makes coaches more conscious of making phone calls.
In the business world, do you always receive an acknowledgement that your resume or marketing effort has been received?
After a couple of contacts what do you do when you don't get a respone? Move on.
Believe it or not, coaches contact players that are not interested, and, when they don't receive a response, they move on.
In my son's case, when the coaches called, they asked to speak to him.
They wanted to find out from him if he was interested in attending their school.
They talked to him about people they knew in common such as other players and coaches.
They talked to him about how he might fit into their program and what he might expect.
They explained how the scholarship would work.
They explained where he would live. They explained how the school regisration process would work and who would be in contact with him about it.
The asked about grades. They asked about the NCAA clearinghouse registration. They asked what major he was considering.
They asked about other schools that had called. They wanted to know when he might make his decision where he would like to go to school.
As parents, we might have the opportunity to go through this experience only for the number of children that we have. (And, a surrogate, or two).
But, the coaches have done this hundreds of times. They are marketing their school, the program, and themselves. They don't like rejection any more than a potential player does. But, they are looking for the right fit, too.
The coaches know that they are dealing with a young person. The successful coaches know how to put the young player at ease and make them feel comfortable with the conversation.
They expect the players to be uneasy, but they are also looking for the maturity to stay in school and make their baseball team which will demand far more "courage" than making a phone call.
Yes, the first phone calls, either way, make the player uneasy, but, after the first few, you will see your son step up to the plate and handle it.
So, many of the questions that you think your or your son might forget to ask, most likely the coach will answer for you.
I would use an initial contact lettter similiar to the sample that is posted elsewhere on this site. I think it is important that the thoughts and sincerity be from the player.
Then, I might follow up with an email, and or, phone calls later.
After no reponses from the above, I'd move on.
I haven't seen this mentioned in this thread, but there are some restrictions on coaches making contact with the players during the recruiting process.
In my opinion, I think that makes coaches more conscious of making phone calls.
In the business world, do you always receive an acknowledgement that your resume or marketing effort has been received?
After a couple of contacts what do you do when you don't get a respone? Move on.
Believe it or not, coaches contact players that are not interested, and, when they don't receive a response, they move on.
In my son's case, when the coaches called, they asked to speak to him.
They wanted to find out from him if he was interested in attending their school.
They talked to him about people they knew in common such as other players and coaches.
They talked to him about how he might fit into their program and what he might expect.
They explained how the scholarship would work.
They explained where he would live. They explained how the school regisration process would work and who would be in contact with him about it.
The asked about grades. They asked about the NCAA clearinghouse registration. They asked what major he was considering.
They asked about other schools that had called. They wanted to know when he might make his decision where he would like to go to school.
As parents, we might have the opportunity to go through this experience only for the number of children that we have. (And, a surrogate, or two).
But, the coaches have done this hundreds of times. They are marketing their school, the program, and themselves. They don't like rejection any more than a potential player does. But, they are looking for the right fit, too.
The coaches know that they are dealing with a young person. The successful coaches know how to put the young player at ease and make them feel comfortable with the conversation.
They expect the players to be uneasy, but they are also looking for the maturity to stay in school and make their baseball team which will demand far more "courage" than making a phone call.
Yes, the first phone calls, either way, make the player uneasy, but, after the first few, you will see your son step up to the plate and handle it.
So, many of the questions that you think your or your son might forget to ask, most likely the coach will answer for you.
I would use an initial contact lettter similiar to the sample that is posted elsewhere on this site. I think it is important that the thoughts and sincerity be from the player.
Then, I might follow up with an email, and or, phone calls later.
After no reponses from the above, I'd move on.
Most topics do get off track at some point during the discussion. Some try to throw a little humor into the conversation while others may have a new question arise from the topic at hand. I personally see no harm in an occasional sidetrack as long as we have "off topic cops" steering us back in the right direction.
Lets give folks the info they are seeking, but at the same time lets have a little fun doing it.
( Disclaimer ) This is not directed at anyone in particular!
Lets give folks the info they are seeking, but at the same time lets have a little fun doing it.
( Disclaimer ) This is not directed at anyone in particular!
FO thats a great post.
Thanks, Coach May.
I had another thought that is not really part of that process I described above.
JUCO is an excellent route to a four year program and is becoming even more so with the minimum scholarship requirements.
Visit the juco's in your area where you might have an interest in attending. Go to a fall game, an hour or so early, or hang around after the game.
Introduce yourself and son to one of the coaches.
You might even meet a scout, or another coach from a bigger school who is there recruiting.
The coaches are looking for players with sincere interest in their program. I think showing up for a practice, or a visit, is an excellent way to do that.
You can do the same thing at a bigger school but the coaches won't be there as early or hang around as long.
Even if you don't get to meet a coach, or player, (chances are you probably know some of the players), you can observe a lot by watching.........
I had another thought that is not really part of that process I described above.
JUCO is an excellent route to a four year program and is becoming even more so with the minimum scholarship requirements.
Visit the juco's in your area where you might have an interest in attending. Go to a fall game, an hour or so early, or hang around after the game.
Introduce yourself and son to one of the coaches.
You might even meet a scout, or another coach from a bigger school who is there recruiting.
The coaches are looking for players with sincere interest in their program. I think showing up for a practice, or a visit, is an excellent way to do that.
You can do the same thing at a bigger school but the coaches won't be there as early or hang around as long.
Even if you don't get to meet a coach, or player, (chances are you probably know some of the players), you can observe a lot by watching.........
I am in agreement with CM.
Great Post FO!
And for those reading, you CAN learn a lot by observing.
Great Post FO!
And for those reading, you CAN learn a lot by observing.
quote:Originally posted by FormerObserver:
Thanks, Coach May.
I had another thought that is not really part of that process I described above.
JUCO is an excellent route to a four year program and is becoming even more so with the minimum scholarship requirements.
Visit the juco's in your area where you might have an interest in attending. Go to a fall game, an hour or so early, or hang around after the game.
Introduce yourself and son to one of the coaches.
You might even meet a scout, or another coach from a bigger school who is there recruiting.
The coaches are looking for players with sincere interest in their program. I think showing up for a practice, or a vist, is an excellent way to do that.
You can do the same thing at a bigger school but the coaches won't be there as early or hang around as long.
Even if you don't get to meet a coach, or player, (chances are you probably know some of the players), you can observe a lot by watching.........
FO - you are on a hot streak today - excellent posts!!
I'd like to comment on something you said:
quote:In my son's case, when the coaches called, they asked to speak to him.
This is how it is in probably 100% of the cases imho. The question is, how do you get the coach to call your house in the first place?
In some cases, a coach will see a player and give that player a call. In other cases, the contact is indirect. That is mostly how we found out if a college was interested was indirect - some college contacted my son's coach. Whenever we were informed of something like that, we would research the school to determine if there was an interest on our part. If there was, I contacted the school initially to find out what the scoop was. For example, we were told that to get recruited at my son's school he would have to attend camp. He did that and got their attention after attending his second camp. It wasn't until that point that the coach called and asked to speak to him. If we would have waited for the phone to ring, I am not sure it would have ever rung.
quote:The question is, how do you get the coach to call your house in the first place?
Right.
The phone didn't ring much at our house either.
That is why I posted the second thought.
The coaches are not usually sitting in the office waiting for the phone to ring.
Like the players, they are at practice, or at a game.
You have to go where they are.
Those juco coaches and larger four year schools are in constant contact.
If you are a short stop, and show up at a school that does not need one, that coach might refer you to a colleague that does.
Another aspect to ponder--my son got his "call" in May because they had been busy recruiting JUCOS and were ready to now bring in two frosh, my son being one of them
There had been minimal contact prior to the call
There had been minimal contact prior to the call
CD,
That also was an excellent post and shows how the recruiting process is different in so many ways.
Here are some suggestions for helping your sons take some ownership or involvement of the process, just a suggestion after reading what's been posted.
Most questionaires are pretty much the same. Make a basic outline for answers, so that each time a questionaire comes in your son can answer by reference. That should be part of his responsibility, IMO.
When sending emails, as mentioned, help your son compose letters using his email address. Replies by coaches allowed by NCAA rules.
Remember what was said, coaches have rules in contacting your son. If your son is a junior he cannot call, and trying to make contact is hard. Make your initial call to the HC's secretaty (if he has one). They can be your best contact in the beginning. If you have sent info ask if she/he knows if it was received and you will call back to see if it was. That would give you an idea how to proceed. If you get a camp brochure, that can be a reason to call for inquiry, and you might just get someone on the phone if you imply that your son is coming.
For those parents wishing to make initial contact, do it in the daytime, telling them that by the time your son gets home they are gone.
Take a visit, go to a game, this way your son can make initial face to face contact so later on he won't feel so uncomfortable if they call and will most likey remember who your son is later on.
If a coach calls and asks to speak to son make sure your son takes the call or returns the call, try not to ask, "can I help you". If they want to chit chat with you, take their lead. Don't bend their ear about how good your son is, especially if they have never seen him play, they want to be able to make their own evaluations.
I know that often son's have busy lives, but make sure that your son takes on some of the responsibility. I know of a situation where a dad, made all phone calls, negotiations, and the player was very unhappy in the end, it seemed like it was more of dad's choice than his own. Then they had to go back to the process all over again, this time the player did his own recruiting. Sometimes it works out well, sometimes it doesn't.
Hope that this helps.
That also was an excellent post and shows how the recruiting process is different in so many ways.
Here are some suggestions for helping your sons take some ownership or involvement of the process, just a suggestion after reading what's been posted.
Most questionaires are pretty much the same. Make a basic outline for answers, so that each time a questionaire comes in your son can answer by reference. That should be part of his responsibility, IMO.
When sending emails, as mentioned, help your son compose letters using his email address. Replies by coaches allowed by NCAA rules.
Remember what was said, coaches have rules in contacting your son. If your son is a junior he cannot call, and trying to make contact is hard. Make your initial call to the HC's secretaty (if he has one). They can be your best contact in the beginning. If you have sent info ask if she/he knows if it was received and you will call back to see if it was. That would give you an idea how to proceed. If you get a camp brochure, that can be a reason to call for inquiry, and you might just get someone on the phone if you imply that your son is coming.
For those parents wishing to make initial contact, do it in the daytime, telling them that by the time your son gets home they are gone.
Take a visit, go to a game, this way your son can make initial face to face contact so later on he won't feel so uncomfortable if they call and will most likey remember who your son is later on.
If a coach calls and asks to speak to son make sure your son takes the call or returns the call, try not to ask, "can I help you". If they want to chit chat with you, take their lead. Don't bend their ear about how good your son is, especially if they have never seen him play, they want to be able to make their own evaluations.
I know that often son's have busy lives, but make sure that your son takes on some of the responsibility. I know of a situation where a dad, made all phone calls, negotiations, and the player was very unhappy in the end, it seemed like it was more of dad's choice than his own. Then they had to go back to the process all over again, this time the player did his own recruiting. Sometimes it works out well, sometimes it doesn't.
Hope that this helps.
To me part of the job of preparing your son for college was to develop a confidence in him so that he would never feel uncomfortable when trying out for a team with new coaches and layers he had never met.
We were tryout junkies as I have mentioned in other threads. I would purposly take my son to several elite team tryouts and he would go out each time and meet these guys he had never met before. It was amazing to watch him meld into the group. By the time the tryout was over he had guys talking to him like they were old buddies. He was never uncomfortable with players or coaches.
One day when he was a 16U player I saw an add for the tryouts for the provicial team. I called and the secretary told me this was a final and only those who had been selected from 15 previous tryouts held all over the province could attend. I wangled an exception and was told to say she said it was okay. We got there and the best 16U players from across Ontario were there. My son walked out like he belonged there and made the final cut. He was not intimidated nor uncomfortable because that was part of my job to prepare him. He knew what he had to do and knew that he could do it. When he got to college we made ourselves scarce because he wanted it that way. We went with him to the field house to meet the coach and incoming players for the 1st time and we were on the outside looking in. I knew he was prepared and din't have a moment of concern. No home sick calls but calls of a happy guy with a bunch of new friends. When we had dropped him off at the dorm we unloaded the things we bought locally for him, met his roommates and a few teammates, said our goodbyes and were on our way home.
All the BB tryouts were a learning experience for him. 4-5 years of playing elite ball and going to various tryouts seemed strange to some people but it had valuable lessons and introduced him to a variety of coaches and players. He played on several different teams over those years and was never nervous. I considered his development just as important as his BB development. I have said many times I never talk to coaches he played for but I did mount the recruiting campaign. That was what I was good at. To me his personal development was just as important as his BB development and he had nothing to prove to me about talking to caoches. He went to UNLV on his own for an unofficial visit set up by me. The coaches loved him and he walked all the way from his hotel to the campus. He was shown around and gave them his DVD which they couldn't respond to until the dead period was over. The 1st legal day we got the call at about 4:30 pm when they figured he would be home. He wasn't and the coach talked to me for over an hour and the recruiting began.
We were tryout junkies as I have mentioned in other threads. I would purposly take my son to several elite team tryouts and he would go out each time and meet these guys he had never met before. It was amazing to watch him meld into the group. By the time the tryout was over he had guys talking to him like they were old buddies. He was never uncomfortable with players or coaches.
One day when he was a 16U player I saw an add for the tryouts for the provicial team. I called and the secretary told me this was a final and only those who had been selected from 15 previous tryouts held all over the province could attend. I wangled an exception and was told to say she said it was okay. We got there and the best 16U players from across Ontario were there. My son walked out like he belonged there and made the final cut. He was not intimidated nor uncomfortable because that was part of my job to prepare him. He knew what he had to do and knew that he could do it. When he got to college we made ourselves scarce because he wanted it that way. We went with him to the field house to meet the coach and incoming players for the 1st time and we were on the outside looking in. I knew he was prepared and din't have a moment of concern. No home sick calls but calls of a happy guy with a bunch of new friends. When we had dropped him off at the dorm we unloaded the things we bought locally for him, met his roommates and a few teammates, said our goodbyes and were on our way home.
All the BB tryouts were a learning experience for him. 4-5 years of playing elite ball and going to various tryouts seemed strange to some people but it had valuable lessons and introduced him to a variety of coaches and players. He played on several different teams over those years and was never nervous. I considered his development just as important as his BB development. I have said many times I never talk to coaches he played for but I did mount the recruiting campaign. That was what I was good at. To me his personal development was just as important as his BB development and he had nothing to prove to me about talking to caoches. He went to UNLV on his own for an unofficial visit set up by me. The coaches loved him and he walked all the way from his hotel to the campus. He was shown around and gave them his DVD which they couldn't respond to until the dead period was over. The 1st legal day we got the call at about 4:30 pm when they figured he would be home. He wasn't and the coach talked to me for over an hour and the recruiting began.