Fungo,
whaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Thanks for sharing!
We just dropped our son off at college for the first time last Thursday. I realized how badly he needed to learn a little self-sufficiency when, 10 seconds after saying goodbye, he ran back to the car and announced that he had lost his room key. We searched the car for 15 minutes, then drove back to Wal-Mart where we had just picked up the final load of school supplies and tracked down their lost-and-found. Key was there. By the end of that I have to admit I was ready and willing to leave him, but then he's only two hours away . . .
The next morning I woke up with the hackneyed phrase "This is the first day of the rest of my life" running through my mind. I have to stop myself from trying to call him hourly, even though we're planning to drive over next Monday for his birthday. (Of course, it's also the first day of fall baseball practice.)
This is a painful time, but we both need to go through it. His dad and I will probably go to every game this fall, but it won't be the same as high school. Not only have we lost a son; we've been separated from all of our fellow baseball parents we have known for the last ten years. Sniff!!
The next morning I woke up with the hackneyed phrase "This is the first day of the rest of my life" running through my mind. I have to stop myself from trying to call him hourly, even though we're planning to drive over next Monday for his birthday. (Of course, it's also the first day of fall baseball practice.)
This is a painful time, but we both need to go through it. His dad and I will probably go to every game this fall, but it won't be the same as high school. Not only have we lost a son; we've been separated from all of our fellow baseball parents we have known for the last ten years. Sniff!!
We left young son at his college last Thursday evening and flew home. I made it to Sunday afternoon before concluding that I cracked before he did and I needed to call him. He'd been busy - Friday night the girls water polo team had come over to socialize with baseball players and Sat. night it was the dance team (I was afraid to ask what a dance team was) anyway he'd been busy - sorry he hadn't called.
I walk by his room and occasionally stop in to look at the baseball shrine.
My best friend has gone away.
I walk by his room and occasionally stop in to look at the baseball shrine.
My best friend has gone away.
K2 - I was looking at your son's college website and saw his name on the 2005 roster and thought about you...you haven't posted much lately.
We've got a month to go, but I'm really dreading it already.
We've got a month to go, but I'm really dreading it already.
Fungo -
Great poem - captures just how I feel...
Fortunately, I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Mr & Mrs BB IN PERSON tonight - they are terrific, and it sure helped dull the ache of missing my son, who is now in his second full day away 'for real'. Amazing how different it feels from his being gone at a tournament. Even our Lab is wandering around aimlessly tonight (oh, that's right - he does that EVERY night...)
Great poem - captures just how I feel...
Fortunately, I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Mr & Mrs BB IN PERSON tonight - they are terrific, and it sure helped dull the ache of missing my son, who is now in his second full day away 'for real'. Amazing how different it feels from his being gone at a tournament. Even our Lab is wandering around aimlessly tonight (oh, that's right - he does that EVERY night...)
My son is 13 - I can't see the computer screen threw my tears - thanks all for sharing - puts life in perspective
If it's any consolation (and it's not), it is a little easier when they head off for the second year. While son number one was ostensibly at home this summer playing summer ball, between late night summer league games, early morning work for me, necessary day trips to see the girl friend (his, not mine!), there were spells when I didn't get to talk with him for 2-3 days, even though I'd hear him snoring as I leave for work.
He leaves tomorrow (having to go 3 hours out of his way to see the girl friend on the way of course), the dip tobacco thing is history, and the clutter overwhelming our guest room will somehow get jammed into his Honda. I've snuck into his calendar program reminders every Sunday to "Go to Church!", along with his complete class and exam schedule, and prompts to get started early on exam studying. As my college coaches told me 30 years ago, "the hay is in the barn", i.e., all that can be done is done. The cage door is kicked open once more, a bit wider than a year ago. Tonight I'll get to watch one last Baseball Tonight with him. Not a bad end way to the 50th anniversay of my birth.
He leaves tomorrow (having to go 3 hours out of his way to see the girl friend on the way of course), the dip tobacco thing is history, and the clutter overwhelming our guest room will somehow get jammed into his Honda. I've snuck into his calendar program reminders every Sunday to "Go to Church!", along with his complete class and exam schedule, and prompts to get started early on exam studying. As my college coaches told me 30 years ago, "the hay is in the barn", i.e., all that can be done is done. The cage door is kicked open once more, a bit wider than a year ago. Tonight I'll get to watch one last Baseball Tonight with him. Not a bad end way to the 50th anniversay of my birth.
Missing him? I've got to say that having him home for the summer after his freshman year at out of state JUCO was a mixed bag. The first couple weeks were great. He had missed being around here and with his sisters and me and the dogs. He was even getting along with his dad.
That wore off, and hate to say - but I found him to be "underfoot" and we had gotten used to him not being here. He was at odds with his dad, he had to be missing his freedom and his life as he had known it while he was away at school. I remember when I came home for the summer when I had gone away to school and feeling 'homesick' for that lifestyle that I had become accustomed to. Surely he had the same feelings.
As I mentioned not getting along with dad, he went to stay at his friend's house a few weeks before he went to school. At the time he was upset about me trying to do too many things for him, saying he needs to do things for himself, on his own. I just gave him a lot of space then. I offered to help him move into school, he said his friend would take his stuff. I called him the day he went, to make sure he made it there ok on the motorcycle. He went a week early, for presession. Seemed to work out well. Wed. of that week me and his sisters went over to visit with him. Guess I just wanted to see for myself that he was settled in. The rest of the kids werent there in the dorm yet. Figuring that he didnt really mean it when he said he wanted me to stop doing things for him, I took over a bunch of stuff I knew he didnt have - like toilet paper and soap- and still had to go to walmart that evening. Of course he still needs money. We had a great time. He went back to our hotel with us for a couple hours, watched the girls in the pool, and wanted to make sure we were going to come by his dorm in the morning before we left for home. Like he is back to his old self again.
On our 4 hour drive back home my girls (ages 9 and 10) and I were talking about how much better we like Luis at school. For now, it just seems to be his niche and everyone including him is much happier. I kind of like the growing up that he is doing.
That wore off, and hate to say - but I found him to be "underfoot" and we had gotten used to him not being here. He was at odds with his dad, he had to be missing his freedom and his life as he had known it while he was away at school. I remember when I came home for the summer when I had gone away to school and feeling 'homesick' for that lifestyle that I had become accustomed to. Surely he had the same feelings.
As I mentioned not getting along with dad, he went to stay at his friend's house a few weeks before he went to school. At the time he was upset about me trying to do too many things for him, saying he needs to do things for himself, on his own. I just gave him a lot of space then. I offered to help him move into school, he said his friend would take his stuff. I called him the day he went, to make sure he made it there ok on the motorcycle. He went a week early, for presession. Seemed to work out well. Wed. of that week me and his sisters went over to visit with him. Guess I just wanted to see for myself that he was settled in. The rest of the kids werent there in the dorm yet. Figuring that he didnt really mean it when he said he wanted me to stop doing things for him, I took over a bunch of stuff I knew he didnt have - like toilet paper and soap- and still had to go to walmart that evening. Of course he still needs money. We had a great time. He went back to our hotel with us for a couple hours, watched the girls in the pool, and wanted to make sure we were going to come by his dorm in the morning before we left for home. Like he is back to his old self again.
On our 4 hour drive back home my girls (ages 9 and 10) and I were talking about how much better we like Luis at school. For now, it just seems to be his niche and everyone including him is much happier. I kind of like the growing up that he is doing.
justbaseball,
yeah, self imposed - didn't want to say nasty things about mlb team - they were really poor at communications. Made for an up and down emotional summer for young son.
But D put it behind him and is really pumped - so far - with college.
E is going to China isn't he? You'll love Mark Johnson, the coach. He's been D's summer coach and mentor. If you get a chance, go to dinner with him and just listen to the stories.
Have E use the phrase "Git er done" with Johnson - he'll love it.
Didn't know if you were in Joplin this year - thought about wandering the stands hollering "justbaseball" so we could meet.
anyway - lots of experiences to share from past couple of years - so I'll start posting again when I think I can add something.
Best of luck in China.
Back to the thread - didn't even think about how much I would miss him 'til just a few days before he left to drive to school. And now its the little things like looking at that box of Captain Crunch cereal in the pantry this morning and wondering whether it'll keep until Christmas break.
Guess we need to start working on our bet for this spring - based upon past history I'll need you to give me some runs.
yeah, self imposed - didn't want to say nasty things about mlb team - they were really poor at communications. Made for an up and down emotional summer for young son.
But D put it behind him and is really pumped - so far - with college.
E is going to China isn't he? You'll love Mark Johnson, the coach. He's been D's summer coach and mentor. If you get a chance, go to dinner with him and just listen to the stories.
Have E use the phrase "Git er done" with Johnson - he'll love it.
Didn't know if you were in Joplin this year - thought about wandering the stands hollering "justbaseball" so we could meet.
anyway - lots of experiences to share from past couple of years - so I'll start posting again when I think I can add something.
Best of luck in China.
Back to the thread - didn't even think about how much I would miss him 'til just a few days before he left to drive to school. And now its the little things like looking at that box of Captain Crunch cereal in the pantry this morning and wondering whether it'll keep until Christmas break.
Guess we need to start working on our bet for this spring - based upon past history I'll need you to give me some runs.
CU Parents Club sends a calendar with helpful hints about the first few months at school for both parents and students and what to expect. Although not our first to leave home, it is our last and first college experience. I found this to be very helpful.
While our life has changed, his transition will be greater. He seems to have adjusted well in a week!
The best advice I found was given to the student. Find the time to call home on a regular basis so mom and dad are not wondering everyday what he/she is doing (or not doing). They have a responsibility to initiate the phone call. Try not to call only when something is needed. We have a tendency to forget how busy they actaully are, but do remind them when they leave what you do expect from them.
Of course I have an "in" with the coach who has been keeping me informed of his new recruits.
While our life has changed, his transition will be greater. He seems to have adjusted well in a week!
The best advice I found was given to the student. Find the time to call home on a regular basis so mom and dad are not wondering everyday what he/she is doing (or not doing). They have a responsibility to initiate the phone call. Try not to call only when something is needed. We have a tendency to forget how busy they actaully are, but do remind them when they leave what you do expect from them.
Of course I have an "in" with the coach who has been keeping me informed of his new recruits.