Arrogant Baseball Parents

Here's my question — why do any of the kids have their cell phones in the dugout?

Iowamom23 posted:

Here's my question — why do any of the kids have their cell phones in the dugout?

Son's senior year in HS....we had a younger player who was essentially a "manager".  He was on the team, and practiced, was a good kid and just wanted to be around the team.  Nobody ever thought he'd get into the game.  He was coaching first base during a scrimmage.  Late in the game, a kid got a single...got to first and they told the 1B coach/kid to pinch run.  First pitch, ball gets away from the catcher.  Kid gets a late break for second.  As he approaches, he goes into this sort of slide, fall, kneel thing and ends up being out by 3 feet.  Turns out he remembered he had his phone in his back pocket and didn't want to slide.    This story will never go away among those kids lol

Francis, 

https://youtu.be/mvhFs2bdRpE

RJM - how did you get the kid's cell number?

That was me. Dad on other team left his phone on the bench. Texted, then told my kid to “ALL FASTBALLS TONIGHT!”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tZJsutN6wmg

This starts in T-Ball and never stops.  Parents feel they are part of the action on the field.  You can watch the parents begin to get that obsessed stare, then they start mumbling, then talking, then coaching, then they get up and walk toward the fence.....

I would have tossed the kid out of the dugout for using his cell during the game. I would have asked any player distracted by the text if they would like to leave with him as a warning. 

I had a mother come in the dugout to complain about the position her son was playing. I told the kid if it ever happened again he would be leaving with his mother. I’m sure he hammered home the point after the game. It’s easier to get kids to control their parents than a coach. 

As a parent I had confidence my kids knew how to play the game. There was  one time I might have been tempted to yell at my son. He decided to use a new stance (like Gary Sheffield) with the opening game of all stars when he was eleven. I mumbled to myself, “What the hell is he doing?” A friend told me to yell at him. I declined. He went three for three with three extra base hits including his first homer. 

For Me, this falls into the control what you can. Let the other things go. Why even focus on this Francis. Do you know the situation? Do you know the players/parents involved? Was it your son Pitching? Since you heard this from a friend My guess the answer to all these is no. 

So don't spend time worrying about it. Control what you can, let the rest go. Enjoy the time your son has to play the game. It is far too short. The times we get to watch our sons play this sport are even shorter. 

Making conversation here is the same as worrying?

Francis7 posted:

Making conversation here is the same as worrying?

I would say the number of times you bring up these kinds of stories leads people to believe you obsess about them. 

There have always been parents who attempt to interfere. There always will be parents who attempt to interfere. Texting is just a new way to do it. As a coach my issue would be with the players in the dugout distracted by a text not the person who sent it. 

It's a learning curve for kids and parents.  Some are at the high end, majority in the middle (they observe/ask what appropriate behavior is), and some at the bottom.  Our HC at the beginning of every season had a mandatory parents meeting (no players).  He went over expectations, previous problems, and how parents should behave the entire season (as well as the most important fund raising).  After the first year it was pretty boring and dry but yet necessary.  No second chances (debatable), no not knowing the rules.  It's a long season and probably many years ahead.  Many other more important and controllable things will happen throughout this journey.  Sit back, get strapped in, relax and enjoy the ride.  Use baseball as an avenue to share the whole experience between son and parent(s) since all too soon the world will cease to rotate and off to college/job/new family will be before you.

IMO, if the parents don't know how to behave by the time their kids are playing HS, then they never will.

I consider it a joy and privilege to watch my kids play ball, at any age. I am very conscious of how my father almost never watched me play anything because of work commitments, or simple disinterest.

My example of this type of behavior is the dad who was texting pitch locations and hitting advice to our little league all star coach, while he was sitting high up in the announcers booth...next to the official scorekeeper...with a birds eye view.  LL coach DID NOT want these texts, and was very lucky his phone was safely stowed in his car.  Texts were discovered later.  That dad was a little too invested in winning a game for 10 year olds, and risked the whole team being disqualified.  

Francis7 posted:

Making conversation here is the same as worrying?

This is your emphasis not mine:

Francis7 posted:

 

Seriously, what the bleep is wrong with some baseball parents? And, how much arrogance does it take to pull a stunt like this DURING A GAME!? My friend who told me the story said that he’s not shocked by it, knowing the father’s reputation.

This looks like worrying to me. Not just enjoying what little time you have. Who cares whats wrong with them? Does it affect you or your son's experience? 

Just some advice. I wished I would have had  that piece of advice and would have taken it to heart, when my kids were younger. 

15u game in sizable tournament, 10 or so colleges watching. A good buddy of mine texts the coach in the first inning of a game bitching about his kid not pitching and the coach throwing a 14u call up instead...wasn't well received obviously. after the weekend he gets called to meeting with the owner of the organization - needless to say it was one sided conversation. 

Fast forward 5 years and the kid who pitched is at a D1 in NC, the kid who didn't pitch but father complained is at a D2 and throwing lights out, has numerous summer options and has been given several informational requests from a few different MLB organizations.

Father to the best of my knowledge has never gotten involved in any way around the playing field since...sometimes you just have to learn. He was true whack job, love the guy but he was out of control. I never was told exactly what he was told in the meeting but obviously it worked. 

At 13u I put together a travel team of essentially the previous year 11/12 all stars of all stars from an eighteen league district. There was one player I wanted I was warned the father was an extreme whack job. I passed. I had twenty prospects on my list.

At 17u I found out what a whack job the father was. Our son’s were both recruited to the same team. After two weekends the father was told to stay away or leave and take his kid with him. Against the objections of the kid the father forced him to quit the team. I spent two weekends thinking I dodged a bullet in 13u. 

The father’s reputation followed the kid into college recruiting. It limited opportunities for the kid. There’s a Productivity to BS ratio. The kid’s talent didn’t outweigh the father’s BS. A mid major D1 talent ended up at a D3. I’m guessing coaches didn’t want to gamble athletic money on the kid.

BishopLeftiesDad posted:

Francis7 posted:

Making conversation here is the same as worrying?

This is your emphasis not mine:

Francis7 posted:

 

Seriously, what the bleep is wrong with some baseball parents? And, how much arrogance does it take to pull a stunt like this DURING A GAME!? My friend who told me the story said that he’s not shocked by it, knowing the father’s reputation.

This looks like worrying to me. Not just enjoying what little time you have. Who cares whats wrong with them? Does it affect you or your son's experience? 

Just some advice. I wished I would have had  that piece of advice and would have taken it to heart, when my kids were younger.  

+1 on that.  Wholeheartedly agree

You will find parents like that at every level.  Nothing worth even thinking about.  Just part of the landscape in competitive sports.

Focus on the fun of supporting your kid in his experience in the game.

3and2Fastball posted:

BishopLeftiesDad posted:

Francis7 posted:

Making conversation here is the same as worrying?

This is your emphasis not mine:

Francis7 posted:

 

Seriously, what the bleep is wrong with some baseball parents? And, how much arrogance does it take to pull a stunt like this DURING A GAME!? My friend who told me the story said that he’s not shocked by it, knowing the father’s reputation.

This looks like worrying to me. Not just enjoying what little time you have. Who cares whats wrong with them? Does it affect you or your son's experience? 

Just some advice. I wished I would have had  that piece of advice and would have taken it to heart, when my kids were younger.  

+1 on that.  Wholeheartedly agree

You will find parents like that at every level.  Nothing worth even thinking about.  Just part of the landscape in competitive sports.

Focus on the fun of supporting your kid in his experience in the game.

So I'm going to say something that I'm guessing few of us want to admit to. Sometimes isn't part of the fun of the experience noting the foibles of the crazy people around us and commenting on them? During HS baseball I sat with a group of deeply cynical and outspoken (maybe just witchy??) moms way out in the outfield and we spent the game complaining about the parent who walked down to the backstop to coach his kid on every at bat, or whose kid was in the game but making errors after they had called the coach earlier in the week to complain about the lack of playing time, or any one of a million stupid and crazy things parents do. And occasionally we commented on the kids, although usually it was on our own cause they did crazy and stupid things too.

We vented to each other, didn't bring it up to the whole team or even to our spouses or our kids — but it was fun and I miss it. I enjoy reading those stories on this site because it's part of the experience of HS baseball, which I loved and miss very much as I start over with college baseball.

JMO

There are some parent fans on our HS team who have some self awareness, and exile themselves to the far reaches of the ballpark. I know this, because i occasionally come to visit, thinking that they are lonely, and would benefit from my sparkling personality. A couple of times i have gotten within about 10', then retreated, as i hear the parent in question growl some obscenity about an umpire, player, coach, or ballpark. 

    I have spent so much time in dugouts that I relish the chance to be a fan. You get to wander around, chat, ignore the game, and have some laughs. 

Iowamom23 posted:

3and2Fastball posted:

BishopLeftiesDad posted:

Francis7 posted:

Making conversation here is the same as worrying?

This is your emphasis not mine:

Francis7 posted:

 

Seriously, what the bleep is wrong with some baseball parents? And, how much arrogance does it take to pull a stunt like this DURING A GAME!? My friend who told me the story said that he’s not shocked by it, knowing the father’s reputation.

This looks like worrying to me. Not just enjoying what little time you have. Who cares whats wrong with them? Does it affect you or your son's experience? 

Just some advice. I wished I would have had  that piece of advice and would have taken it to heart, when my kids were younger.  

+1 on that.  Wholeheartedly agree

You will find parents like that at every level.  Nothing worth even thinking about.  Just part of the landscape in competitive sports.

Focus on the fun of supporting your kid in his experience in the game.

So I'm going to say something that I'm guessing few of us want to admit to. Sometimes isn't part of the fun of the experience noting the foibles of the crazy people around us and commenting on them? During HS baseball I sat with a group of deeply cynical and outspoken (maybe just witchy??) moms way out in the outfield and we spent the game complaining about the parent who walked down to the backstop to coach his kid on every at bat, or whose kid was in the game but making errors after they had called the coach earlier in the week to complain about the lack of playing time, or any one of a million stupid and crazy things parents do. And occasionally we commented on the kids, although usually it was on our own cause they did crazy and stupid things too.

We vented to each other, didn't bring it up to the whole team or even to our spouses or our kids — but it was fun and I miss it. I enjoy reading those stories on this site because it's part of the experience of HS baseball, which I loved and miss very much as I start over with college baseball.

JMO

I’ve had some hysterically funny conversations with coaches of situations dealt with in the past. But as a coach I could have done without all of them in the moment.

I heard this from a friend, who heard from a friend....who, in turn heard it at a Starbucks while ordering his Skinny Vanilla Latte:

"These kind of posts are why i am not around/commenting much on HSBBW anymore."

Shoveit4Ks posted:

I heard this from a friend, who heard from a friend....who, in turn heard it at a Starbucks while ordering his Skinny Vanilla Latte:

"These kind of posts are why i am not around/commenting much on HSBBW anymore."

So what is this, thread number 8,293, 642 of (name your sport) parents suck. I think everyone has got the point. 

Saw some crazies at 10, 11, 12.  Diminished quite a bit at 13 and 14.  I haven't seen much of it at 15, 16, 17, either travel or high school.  Either they got weeded out, kids burnt out from parent involvement, kids weren't that good and found something else to do or whatever.  Doesn't matter to me, I have had a great time with youth baseball.

...or maybe I'm the crazy, and nobody sits near me anymore.

Francis7 posted:

This is a TRUE story relayed to me from a friend who heard it.

High School Varsity baseball game.  DURING THE GAME, a kid on the bench who is a not uniformed “team manager” (and a non-player) has his cell phone go off.  This is in the dugout, again, as the game is being played.  Kid looks at his phone and says:  “This is really weird.  I just got a text message from a number that I don’t know and it says:  Tell [name of the team’s pitcher] that he needs to throw more first pitch fastballs.”  As he said it, some of the players started gathering around him and one of them – not the pitcher – says “I know that number.  That’s my father.”

Seriously, what the bleep is wrong with some baseball parents?  And, how much arrogance does it take to pull a stunt like this DURING A GAME!?  My friend who told me the story said that he’s not shocked by it, knowing the father’s reputation.

How do you know that this is a true story?  The story was related to you from a friend who had heard it!  Head it from whom?  How many others had "heard it?"  You come across some of the most bizarre incidents.  Had this happened on my team, ...  I'll save you the rumor of what might have happened.  

I don't understand why you guys want to run Francis7 off.  Whether the story is real or not, as has been proven by many other stories, it is reality. I see it all the time at varsity games whether it is a parent going to the dugout or a parent at the fence or a parent sending texts.  It happens.  In today's world, it is more prevalent than ever.  I think it is a good discussion and maybe helps some parent reading this to stay away from it.  As has been said a million times in my years on here, if you don't like the thread don't read it or comment on it.  There are several on here that I just skip over every day because it is something I am not interested in. 

Edited after much thought:  We wonder where teenagers get the idea of cyber bullying.  This is exactly what it looks like.  And I do not think it is just having good fun with him.

Francis7 posted:

Seriously, what the bleep is wrong with some baseball parents?  

A percentage of the population is abnormal.

That percentage includes "some baseball parents."

PitchingFan posted:

I don't understand why you guys want to run Francis7 off.  Whether the story is real or not, as has been proven by many other stories, it is reality. I see it all the time at varsity games whether it is a parent going to the dugout or a parent at the fence or a parent sending texts.  It happens.  In today's world, it is more prevalent than ever.  I think it is a good discussion and maybe helps some parent reading this to stay away from it.  As has been said a million times in my years on here, if you don't like the thread don't read it or comment on it.  There are several on here that I just skip over every day because it is something I am not interested in. 

Edited after much thought:  We wonder where teenagers get the idea of cyber bullying.  This is exactly what it looks like.  And I do not think it is just having good fun with him.

I do not feel as though we are trying to run Francis7 off. However, and this may be my problem, is the delivery. It came across as a bit holier than Thou. And a bit judgmental. 

If this discussion is to be had it could have been started differently. Instead of titling it "Arrogant Baseball parents" and stating what the bleep is wrong with these people. 

Change the title and phrase it differently. "Guess what I heard, What do you think about it. Do you have any similar stories" 

I know there are times I may have been that parent. I truly regret it now. Many of us if we look deeply may realize there may have been a time.....

Telling stories is one thing, we all do it. However outright bashing, even though names were not named, is another. 

And my original points still stands. If you cannot control it why worry about it. 

I’ve been familiar with Francis on another board since his kid was playing 9u. He’s made some mistakes finding teams along the way maneuvering his kid through the baseball journey. I made a suggestion he followed. His kid, with some baseball potential started getting quality instruction.

Once his kid got to high school, I saw video of him swinging a bat and he expressed an interest in college ball I recommended Francis join this site. 

Francis wasn’t a ball player. He loves baseball. He sometimes gets a little chatty with insignificant stuff. But let’s not scare him away from the board. Like everyone else here at some point he needs the help. 

Francis, you need to tune out third party information. Not for this board and the other board’s sake. For your sake. You’re taking in too much false and insignificant information. The people who talk the most tend to be unhappy parents. The stories get embellished from the start and twisted every time they’re retold. How many of these stories you’ve told over the years actually had a direct effect on your son’s journey or he couldn’t overcome it with focus and hard work?

If you get a really funny story everyone will be amused. But there’s a tendency to bring “been there, done that “ stories. Your text story would have been relevant if you were a coach and wanted to know how to handle it. 

For everyone else, you don’t have to read every thread. You can even block posters if you lack the discipline to turn away. 

Francis, learn and live the first rule of being an athlete. It’s actually a good rule for everything in life. Focus on what you can control. Tune out what you can’t control (unless it’s worth a laugh before you flush it).

PitchingFan posted:

I don't understand why you guys want to run Francis7 off.  Whether the story is real or not, as has been proven by many other stories, it is reality. I see it all the time at varsity games whether it is a parent going to the dugout or a parent at the fence or a parent sending texts.  It happens.  In today's world, it is more prevalent than ever.  I think it is a good discussion and maybe helps some parent reading this to stay away from it.  As has been said a million times in my years on here, if you don't like the thread don't read it or comment on it.  There are several on here that I just skip over every day because it is something I am not interested in. 

Edited after much thought:  We wonder where teenagers get the idea of cyber bullying.  This is exactly what it looks like.  And I do not think it is just having good fun with him.

Run him off?  Cyber-bullying?  Are you serious?  I'll save the rest of my deleted response here.

Recently was at an away game. The booth announcer, whose son was the pitcher, started ragging the ump's calls over the speaker system. It didn't last long though as some parents quickly put a stop to that.

My problem isn't with Francis, although I think he's like the guy who sits down next to you at the bar and starts chatting about a bunch of irrelevant stuff and you just wish he wouldn't. Anyway, it's the thread after thread about 'those" parents. That horse has been beaten into the ground, that ground has been gathered up and been beaten into the ground again. It's gotten to the point that there's a certain amount of people here just waiting for someone to make the wrong worded post so they can attack. I've been here for years and I'm reluctant to post anymore. Think of all the parents who check this forum out and think, "uh, no". Ask the wrong question and you are guilty until you prove yourself innocent.

CoachB25 posted:

PitchingFan posted:

I don't understand why you guys want to run Francis7 off.  Whether the story is real or not, as has been proven by many other stories, it is reality. I see it all the time at varsity games whether it is a parent going to the dugout or a parent at the fence or a parent sending texts.  It happens.  In today's world, it is more prevalent than ever.  I think it is a good discussion and maybe helps some parent reading this to stay away from it.  As has been said a million times in my years on here, if you don't like the thread don't read it or comment on it.  There are several on here that I just skip over every day because it is something I am not interested in. 

Edited after much thought:  We wonder where teenagers get the idea of cyber bullying.  This is exactly what it looks like.  And I do not think it is just having good fun with him.

Run him off?  Cyber-bullying?  Are you serious?  I'll save the rest of my deleted response here.

My opinion.  Some of you attack him every time he posts or replies to something.  Again, if you don't like the content he has then block him or don't read it.  But why do grown people feel the need to attack someone whether they that person feels he adds anything to the site or not.  I enjoy lots of different conversations and this one had spawned a lot of conversation and the bad parent topic needs to stay front and forefront because that is one of if not the biggest problem in youth sports today so the new parents need to know it will not go good in the long run. 

I must not be alone in my thoughts because I have received multiple PM's on it.

PitchingFan posted:

CoachB25 posted:

PitchingFan posted:

I don't understand why you guys want to run Francis7 off.  Whether the story is real or not, as has been proven by many other stories, it is reality. I see it all the time at varsity games whether it is a parent going to the dugout or a parent at the fence or a parent sending texts.  It happens.  In today's world, it is more prevalent than ever.  I think it is a good discussion and maybe helps some parent reading this to stay away from it.  As has been said a million times in my years on here, if you don't like the thread don't read it or comment on it.  There are several on here that I just skip over every day because it is something I am not interested in. 

Edited after much thought:  We wonder where teenagers get the idea of cyber bullying.  This is exactly what it looks like.  And I do not think it is just having good fun with him.

Run him off?  Cyber-bullying?  Are you serious?  I'll save the rest of my deleted response here.

My opinion.  Some of you attack him every time he posts or replies to something.  Again, if you don't like the content he has then block him or don't read it.  But why do grown people feel the need to attack someone whether they that person feels he adds anything to the site or not.  I enjoy lots of different conversations and this one had spawned a lot of conversation and the bad parent topic needs to stay front and forefront because that is one of if not the biggest problem in youth sports today so the new parents need to know it will not go good in the long run. 

I must not be alone in my thoughts because I have received multiple PM's on it.

I can't block him.  I am a moderator.  Francis is a big boy.  A critical response is not bullying unless you believe that there should only be pat on the back feel good responses.  I'll stand by my response that Francis comes up with situations and scenarios that are bizarre.   What triggered my critical response was his assertion that this situation is "true" when he then states that he is hearing this third hand at best.  That is unless he is again, posting something that he was a part of or on his team but trying to divert.  

Francis, next time you want to start a thread about being people being stupid around a baseball field go with this one. Pure gold, and there is no doubt at all that it happened.

https://twitter.com/DrShaena/s.../1114882322493526016

Sorry, I've been away for a bit.

Here's the thing. The same people, for the most part, who tell me to worry about myself and not judge others are usually the first ones to jump to conclusions and assume they know me, my personality, behavior and actions...and then proceed to discuss ME at length in the forum.  Further, the ones who tell me to ignore gossip about others and just worry about my own business will also talk about me here...which is just gossip, people acting like the hens that they accuse me to me...seriously...

Here's the deal. I once ran an online forum for about 6 years...around 14 years ago. It was extremely popular at its zenith. Having been there, done that; I know everyone is a tough guy on the internet. And, it's easy to take shots at someone, etc., when you have totally anonymity.  So, I don't take this stuff personal. 

If you actually knew me, and we had an actual real relationship, maybe I would care about your opinion of me.  But, that is not the case here.

Please lie down. Ve vould like to discuss you at length ...

Francis7 posted:

Sorry, I've been away for a bit.

Here's the thing. The same people, for the most part, who tell me to worry about myself and not judge others are usually the first ones to jump to conclusions and assume they know me, my personality, behavior and actions...and then proceed to discuss ME at length in the forum.  Further, the ones who tell me to ignore gossip about others and just worry about my own business will also talk about me here...which is just gossip, people acting like the hens that they accuse me to me...seriously...

Here's the deal. I once ran an online forum for about 6 years...around 14 years ago. It was extremely popular at its zenith. Having been there, done that; I know everyone is a tough guy on the internet. And, it's easy to take shots at someone, etc., when you have totally anonymity.  So, I don't take this stuff personal. 

If you actually knew me, and we had an actual real relationship, maybe I would care about your opinion of me.  But, that is not the case here.

As an FYI anyone who has been on this site for any length of time, know who I am and who my daughter is since I posted video of her, her HS career and her college career.   Please find below an article I once posted here about my dd. 

Take care,

Darrell Butler

https://www.bnd.com/sports/col...article20971008.html

It doesn't surprise me you ran a forum. I like to hunt, it makes me feel good when I'm successful. I like to tinker with my computers/phones. It feels good when I build a computer and push the button and it post. Or replace the screen on the phone, hit the power button, and it starts. It's obvious you get the same endorphin rush when you post a message and people reply to it. That's fine, to each their own. The problem is when you run out of legitimate subjects and start posting these sometimes absurd scenarios you come up with. 

If I'm not mistaken, Francis is a self-admitted pot-stirrer and in my opinion, an absolute master of minutia...

Having said that, his kid has made big strides in his improvement over the years...