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Do they actually "recruit?" The don;t HAVE to!
Rob pretty much nails the situation with this observation. The top private schools do not have to recruit anyone. They have people knocking on their doors all the time, wanting their kid to be admitted to those schools, and turn many away. And a lot of those student athletes happen to be very good players in their chosen sport.
I've heard the same type of complaint leveled against the type of summer ball we play, where we CAN recruit and do, any player we want. American Legion teams can only bring in players from a few schools they draw from versus us taking any player no matter where he lives or goes to school. Guess what, the best players DO like to play with each other, even when they are heated opponents during the high school season. I've had people complain that what we do isn't fair either, except that it is no different, in a recruiting sense, from what college and pro teams do...they go out and obtain the best talent they can find that is a fit for their programs. This aspect of sport, at any level, has nothing to do with fair. It is about competing at the highest level you can acheive and typically the ones who don't like it, are those who aren't part of it. Toye, I commend your son for playing hard and doing things the right way, but leave 'fair' out of the discussion because this is the wrong venue to worry about that.