My son has stated that he feels burned out. He said everything with baseball feels like a chore now. He is a sophomore pitcher, and he is coming off of a strained UCL from the summer, and just in October he was so excited to throw an inning, fastballs only, in his fall world series, and now he is saying he feels no excitement for the sport. I have told him that I will support him, and we will talk this through. How would anyone here handle this?
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Sounds like a rather abrupt change in his outlook. Might this be the result of a coaching change and some indications from the coaches as to what his future role might be? I guess I'd be asking questions about what is different from last year or even a few months back. The better he can articulate the sudden change in his outlook, the more insight you will gain to help him in making decisions about the future.
Agree with LHP, let it breathe unless something drastic has occurred. Hope he sticks with it, especially after recovering from the strained UCL.
Moose, that's sophomore in college, right?
Yes, he is a sophomore in college. I am going to speak with him tonight. He transferred this year, and by all indications from his coach, he is expected to have a nice role come the spring. I know that is coach speak, and he and I have definitely learned to believe nothing a college coach says, but even his teammates are saying the same thing. I am hoping he will share more tonight.
This can be a stressful time of year for everyone - especially exam taking college kids. Like others have said, let it breathe for a few days after he has come home from break. See if he just needs to clear his head. Once he has had time to normalize, see if he still feels the same.
Good post by screwball. And definitely the right approach on your part to just start with support.
It is certainly not uncommon for college players to go through this. I don't think I know of any who fully anticipated the work-like atmosphere and constant grind they were about to step into.
It's a really good time for winter break! He will be able to take some time, clear his mind and then think things through with a refreshed perspective. At the right time , maybe you can try to help him gather pro's and con's... have him list some things like why he wanted to play college ball to begin with, what he likes about playing the game, what his goals are with the game, etc., along with what his struggles/frustrations are. From there, with your support, hopefully he can make the best decision for himself with little doubts or regrets, whatever direction that may be.
PS - I see that, since I started putting my post together, others have said much the same.
What's his interest level in other things in his life that he normally is excited about? Hobbies, playing other sports or whatever - if he's lost interest in that then there may be a deeper issue going on which could be created by the change in schools.
My best friend has a son that's a junior in high school who sorta went through same thing - lost interest in baseball (talked about not playing), hung around the house more in his room alone and things like that. He took him to the doctor and they gave him some medicine which helped regulate some hormones. After about two weeks (maybe less) of the medicine he's back to his old self and back off the medicine. As we grow older our brains and brain chemistry can get out of whack sometimes. This is also not about having any type of mental illness but just a funk created by brain chemistry.
Coach2709,
He sees the change of schools as nothing but a positive. He had a horrible experience his freshman, and not just concerning playing time. He loves his new school and everything about the team. I am puzzled.
Could it be that he is just burnt out? He's been playing ball for a long time and maybe he is seeing other live college life without baseball and maybe that's what he wants to do. I ran track in college and became pretty burnt out between the indoor and outdoor seasons my Sr. year. I was ready to hang it up at that point when one of the AC's I was close with sat me down and talked me into finishing up my career. It was true burn out. Nothing major changed in life, I had just realized that I had been competing at a high level for 10+ years at that point and was ready for a break.
Joes87,
I completely understand that. That's why I want to sit and speak with him before he actually does hang up his cleats. I don't want him to get older and regret having stopped playing when not too long ago he was saying how much he missed playing when he was rehabbing.
Not saying this is the case in your situation, but most young men that I've known that felt burnt out, felt that way because of some failure or set back or realizing their limits. A few never really loved the game that much to start with. However, many that once loved the game, will claim burn out as their reason for quitting.
I haven't ever known a player that just plain burned out while being very successful. The more successful they got, the less chance of burn out. If successful players were commonly struck by burn out, all kinds of MLB players would be quitting the game. After all, Spring Training followed by 162 game schedule with all that travel is very grueling.
I do think it is possible that your son is suffering from a temporary burn out. Don't we all at times? Not sure it's best to force the issue with him. Maybe he has lost some confidence for some reason. Maybe he has decided giving it up is his best path to success in something else. Maybe it's not burn out as much as it is he has other things that he has found more interesting and rewarding. If that is the case, it's not burn out, it's just adjusting his life. You can still love the game after you hang up the cleats.
Given some space, he might change his mind. Support him no matter what. There are many more important things in life than baseball.
Now if he is talking about quitting school, get the whip out! Someday, he will thank you for that.
Maybe he's tired of competing. It might be the rehab and competing. It's a lot. Both my kids went to the shore for the summer when they graduated from college instead of looking for a job. Neither one had a "normal" summer going back to when they were pre teens.
ME: What are you going to do this summer?
SON: Get a part time job at the shore, drink beer and chase girls. In my more sober moments I'll make a gameplan for my fall job search.
I agree with Coach; keep a close eye on him over all. When kids start burning out or giving up on something that they've generally loved it can be a sign of other things. You said that he had a very rough first year and transferred out. Were those things possible related to emotional disturbances? Or were they so bad that they could induce an episode of depression?
From my experience and my kids I would say give him a week. Push him to play, you don't want any regrets and when he really fights you on continuing push a little more then, let it go. Remember he is still young and immature and probably thinking with his emotions not his head logically. These are still really kids and don't always realize the finality of their decisions.
My son had decided he was done with baseball after last Spring season (his freshman year). He had made the decision with about a month to go, but hadn't told anyone "officially". He was 2 or 3 days from telling his college coaches. He called his summer coach to tell him first. Coach said "you aren't the first kid to tell me this after his freshman year". Son had known the summer coach for years as he was also a friend of mine. He had him meet him for lunch the next day. He talked to him, then had him call 2 of his friends who were a year older and talk to them and see what they thought. After talking to them and hearing they had the same concerns after their freshman year, he decided to stick it out....and was glad he did. Had a great summer and a really good fall. Coaches told him if he comes out in the spring like he threw this fall he's likely to have a weekend spot.
Nothing burns anyone out more than injury. Been there done that.
However, you say this is his second school, so that signals to me that he really may not be crazy about competing anymore.
Going to college and playing sports isn't for everyone, it's very difficult. Let him decide what's best for himself. It may be time to move on.
JMO
Thanks, everyone. It seems like the injury might be more of a stimulus for quitting than I had thought. He told me that some pain is returning when he throws. He was told that he might experience pain no matter what by the physical therapist. Seems like it might be harder for me to see the end of his playing time than it is for him 
His first school had a mass exodus after last season, so I don't think it is a decline in want of competition. Their best returning hitter and pitcher both transferred along with many others.
RJM posted:Maybe he's tired of competing. It might be the rehab and competing. It's a lot. Both my kids went to the shore for the summer when they graduated from college instead of looking for a job. Neither one had a "normal" summer going back to when they were pre teens.
ME: What are you going to do this summer?
SON: Get a part time job at the shore, drink beer and chase girls. In my more sober moments I'll make a gameplan for my fall job search.
My son was the same, Summer after college, He worked nights at Fedex while he cavorted during the day, and coached some baseball.
JMO but strained UCLs very rarely get better. If he feels pain (there is a difference between discomfort and pain) he should not throw. Has your son had an MRI? If he needs surgery is he willing to go through that to play another couple of yearsof baseball? This might be something he needs to consider.
Moosecheesemjm posted:Thanks, everyone. It seems like the injury might be more of a stimulus for quitting than I had thought. He told me that some pain is returning when he throws. He was told that he might experience pain no matter what by the physical therapist. Seems like it might be harder for me to see the end of his playing time than it is for him
His first school had a mass exodus after last season, so I don't think it is a decline in want of competition. Their best returning hitter and pitcher both transferred along with many others.
Injuries are hard on the mind and body. He may not be willing to sacrifice the time for rehab which is okay too.
Hope your son makes the right decision for him. My son went through the same process after an injury. He had surgery and the pain wasn't worth the effort and he didn't feel he would ever be the same. As a parent, I understand the reluctance to let him make the decision, but ultimately I had to come to grips with that too. The worst is he went to college because that's what he thought his parents wanted and turned down the 4th and 10th round draft opportunities, but that's life, unfortunately. He has moved on, graduated and enjoyed the college experience and doing well but I'm not sure I ever will. Then again, it's not about me.
VTFan32 posted:Hope your son makes the right decision for him. My son went through the same process after an injury. He had surgery and the pain wasn't worth the effort and he didn't feel he would ever be the same. As a parent, I understand the reluctance to let him make the decision, but ultimately I had to come to grips with that too. The worst is he went to college because that's what he thought his parents wanted and turned down the 4th and 10th round draft opportunities, but that's life, unfortunately. He has moved on, graduated and enjoyed the college experience and doing well but I'm not sure I ever will. Then again, it's not about me.
Why would you ever think that the worst thing he ever did was turn down a 4th and 10th round opportunity?
But you bring up a good point. Someone told me once that sometimes children tend to do what they think will make us happy. Always remind your children that you love them for who they are, not what they do.
And yes, its not about us.
I would tell him to give it some time. I tore my ucl freshman year in college and pitched through it the next two years. I eventually quit and walked away and didn't play my last year. This type of injury not only affects your physical ability in the form of control, stamina, and velocity it destroys your mental confidence in what you know that you can accomplish. The mental part lags on even when you heal. You know longer feel good about yourself and feel like goals and others expectations can no longer be met. It puts you in a dark place and all you want is for the pressure to go away. However looking back now I would give anything to get a chance to throw in a game and compete. He may just need to reevaluate his priorities and reasons for playing. Baseball was and still is a game meant for boys and was played for fun. Parents, coaches, and players take it to serious and ruin it. That destroys the love for the game. This doesn't mean you do not try to win, train at a high level, or prepare for the future. It just means if the game is no longer enjoyable when you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
Moosecheesemjm posted:My son has stated that he feels burned out. He said everything with baseball feels like a chore now. He is a sophomore pitcher, and he is coming off of a strained UCL from the summer, and just in October he was so excited to throw an inning, fastballs only, in his fall world series, and now he is saying he feels no excitement for the sport. I have told him that I will support him, and we will talk this through. How would anyone here handle this?
I have not read the replies, but I am sure there is some good advice (there always is on this site).
Anyway, from my sons personal experience, I can tell you that injuries can be very demoralizing, especially for someone who is not already a stud. My son had been approached by a MLB scout and put on their list to follow after a scout day performance. He was so excited and really looking forward to the upcoming season. Then he tore his ACL, and his season was over. This happened in the fall of his sophomore year and took the wind out of his sails. He decided to leave the school, and after recovery and rehab, he was doing well in a summer collegiate league. He was recruited to a D1 that had been in the CWS the year before. Now his mojo was back, but during fall ball, he came down with strep throat, and eventually caught pneumonia. He lost 22 lbs and the HC called to say he was a shell of what they saw during the summer. Needless to say, physically it took time to build back up, and mentally this was disheartening. So he finished out the year at a JC and did well. He went to another school with a good program, and eventually increased his velo to 92 which again re-enthused him. However he re-injured his repaired ACL by stretching the graft while doing an intense workout. It was bad enough he had to play with a brace and only pitching in the mid 80's. Then, if that wasn't bad enough, he tore his meniscus and the surgeon said he needed to have a graft from his good knees patellar tendon for the new ACL surgery. Thus he is once again rehabbing, but he feels "burned out". He has been on a physical, mental and performance roller coaster. He is wondering if he has one more shot at attaining his goal of making a MiLB clubs roster.
This kid (now young man) has had a love and passion for the game since he started playing at 3 years old. Of course back then it was just for fun along with various other sports, but turned into something much more. I am reluctant to give him advice ( baseball wise ) at this point, but am trying to get him to keep his chin up and finish his rehab. His PT said he is not approaching the rehab with the same vigor as he did before, which is disconcerting. He is not a quitter, but he is probably reluctant to get on the coaster again for fear of disappointment. Regardless, he must get healthy, as does your son.
I suspect your son might be going through something similar. Whether it be fear of now being further behind the other kids all competing for spots without an injury, or just fear his body wont hold up, he needs to get healthy regardless. So get him the best medical care/evaluation possible. Then you might want to consider looking into what might have caused his UCL strain to begin with. Small mechanical tweaks might not only solve the problem causing the strain, but might also improve his performance. That would certainly give him a boost mentally if he could throw pain and worry free. When my son threw 92, it was like he had never been hurt to begin with. So if your son can see something tangible with his game after rehab, that might be all he needs. If you need any advice or someone to bounce ideas off of, feel free to PM me.
Vector,
Sorry to hear about all of your sons injuries.
4 different programs in 5 seasons?
