It never failed. At least three of four times a week his wife would wake him from a sound sleep with a nudge in the ribs. "Harold, I hear something. There's someone downstairs. Go see about it." As a good and faithful husband he would man himself with flashlight and bat only to find nothing of the sort.
After several years of such trips downstairs, one night Harold actually found an intruder. When the flashlight spotted the burglar, he ran.
"Oh no, don't run," Harold yelled. "Come up stairs. My wife has been waiting years to meet you."
*********************************
The young priest was mentored by an elderly priest.
After his first time of confession with his parish members, the young priest was anxious to hear his mentor's evaluation.
"Well, what do you think?"
"It was a good start," replied the mentor, "but when you hear of their sin, I don't think WOW!! is the best response."
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