Coach cussing out HS players

 

Neither. Stay out of it.

You're in a good spot to help the guy and the program out.  Since you have rapport and since your son won't be impacted, you can tell him how it looks from parents' perspective.  There's cussing/chewing and then there's cussing/chewing... But sounds like your take is that this was clearly over the line.

How did it compare to this (warning adults only):

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMVmhI1SUq0

 

 

Doesn't matter how it looks from a parents perspective. Gotta stay out of it and let the coach run his team. Sometimes people need a kick in the but. Sounds like he expects the kids to win. Even against a better team. Nothing wrong with high expectations.

It's not your team. It's not your baseball experience. If your son can't handle it he can quit. I'm not saying what the coach is doing is right. But intervening could only make it worse for your son with the coach. Your son is in high school. He's old enough to man up and deal with it. Its good training for life. My son was very intimidated by his coach soph year. He learned to hear the message and tune out the style of delivery.

Bobby Knight's favorite word ...

 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L5-akqjKzII

Personally, I believe this is improper behavior by a coach in a high school setting.  The field is his classroom.  If he cannot motivate his players without resorting to the linguistic tool of the inarticulate, he has no business being employed by a school district or working with high school age children.

 

Accepting, condoning, or ignoring this behavior just continues a downward trend in what is acceptable societal behavior.

 

I grew up on a farm, I've spent most of my adult life in the construction business, I don't think I would have learned anything new.  This is simply not the time nor place for this sort of behavior.  JMHO.

Then there's Lasorda's response to Kurt Bevacqua accusing him of ordering beanballs.

 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fzjWQF1oP2M

I understand that we can't fight our kids battles for them, and that they need to handle things for themselves more and more as they grow older. But I also feel that if a coach can't communicate with a bunch of 16 year olds without dropping the F Bomb and giving God a last name, then he needs to be corrected.  How little a man must be to cuss out 16 year olds?     Granted, if dad calls, then coach soap-in-the-mouth will likely retaliate against junior as he has already shown his lack of character.

 

   I'd probably invite a couple of my friends that are pastors to start attending games, with their collars on-better yet, invite the coach's pastor, if he has one. 

       
       

Ever been to a football practice or game and heard the coaches?

If you think you can help this man do the right thing.  It is not a baseball issue, it is a human being/job issue.  You seem to know what do but need validation to go against the grain of MYOB. 

 

Here's where you can find it:

 

Go to the VA Forum and read about Grassfield Coach.  Short version...suspended in 2012 for screaming at team and survived.  Recently fired for accidently whacking a player with a tennis racket and cutting his lip/face depending on who you listen to.  

 

Maybe your guy won't end up there, but if he did and you could have helped him but did not... then only you can answer the man in the mirror.

 

 

Yes, and it is wrong anytime it is used in a k-12 situation.  

 

It is a deep problem, when someone who is supposed to be helping mold shape and develop character in children/young adults resorts to this.  It demeans them and lowers society overall.  These "esteemed" models are emulated and our schools' standards are lowered.  This leads to the extreme situation of 5 year old kindergartners calling their 25 year old attractive teacher a fat ugly b****.  It is accepted, part of the game, gets you ready for life.  You are accepting less!!!

 

I have never had a problem with this. Some of the best coaches I have ever known did this all the time and some of the best coaches I have ever known did not. What bothers me more than any of this is the avalanche of overprotective parents that I see everywhere today and who have all but destroyed the great experience of growing up on your own.

 

Sometimes it is just effective communication.

I never relied on teachers to mold my kids character. It was our job at home. What we also taught was how to deal with other people's behavior.

       
       

Yep.

For better or for worse, to a certain extent, particularly in the college game, It seems like the days of the crusty, cussing, old-school "strike fear in the heart" coaching style is falling to the wayside.  There have been some pretty high-profile, successful guys lose their jobs in D3 lately who fit this mold.  Sort of like the "Chainsaw Al" Dunlap style of CEO.  The administrations are less tolerant of it for a variety of reasons, and I believe in some regards, today's players don't respond as well to it, and I don't necessarily think it is a "wussification" factor.  In any regard, I don't believe it is appropriate at the HS level.

And there's a big difference between a 5 year old and a high school athlete. That 5 year old didn't learn that at school, he learned it at home.

Just walk through the parents beer garden in the parking lot, how about the kid's that your son is tweeting back and forth with. Have you ever let them see a PG13 movie? The first time I let a F-bomb fly I felt terrible for several day's, until my son told me that most of the kids use this word on a regular basis. I only used it a few times after that night and they knew I meant business when they heard it, but I was never quite comfortable with it.

Look at it this way little Johnny (maybe not so little in HS) is going to learn a few new words and adjectives.  

 

In all seriousness he is going to have coaches (and bosses and colleagues) that cuss and others who do not. Just part of leaning about the world. 

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!.  These folks get it.  It may be the coach's team, but such behavior is not acceptable in my book.  There are other ways to motivate and express displeasure without resorting to derogatory language.  Yes, a coach is in a position of authority and as such, they are expected to talk and act in an acceptable manner.  Dropping the F-bomb in such a setting is not acceptable.

 

And yeah, I've heard derogatory language by football coaches.  Doesn't mean it's acceptable there either.  Nor any other sport at the HS level.

Swearing does not indicate lack of character. I'd be more concerned about multiple collars around a group of teenage boys, in fact.

IMO, there is no place for it.  Have I done it?  Once and I walked into the stands and told the parents that I messed up and cussed their child out.  Dad said thanks but I turned myself in the next day to the AD as well.  Again, no place for it.  A Coach is supposed to able to motivate without threats or insults.  Again my opinion. 

 

Dave, I don't know your relationship with this coach but I'd advise against you using your friendship to get close to this coach to "correct him."  You might not like the results.  I'm hoping that when the smoke clears, this coach will apologize to the kids.  I took an image of myself, put a target on it, put a statement on it and taped it to the dugout wall.  I told the kids that the problem when I cussed was me because I was not intelligent enough to say what needed to be said.  The kids laughed, slapped the picture as they went out to practice and we all learned from it. 

I'm not suggesting that a few Fbombs should be career ending.  And I certainly believe that a$$ chewing has it's place and time. Think it boils down to degree, and to the character that the coach has established already... the trust and relationships he's built.  But you know it when you hear it... You know when it's well over the line or vs when it is a little old school chewing.

 

Sounded to me like the OP was more about trying to help the coach stay out of trouble... As opposed to trying to reprimand or get him to apologize or what not.  The coach might appreciate a friendly nudge to say "watch yourself"... Before some angry parent downline gets him fired over the same stuff.

Words.

 

I know a lot's changed, but to think that a good ole fashioned cussing session peppered with f-bombs ... with only guys present ... warrants intervention on behalf of a 2014 HS baseball player?

 

Give me a straight-shooting, cussing coach with good intentions over "good men" who are all-too-often either clueless ... or not really well-intentioned ... any day.

 

Dammit

I love that one.  It's so true. 

As long as the kids aren't bothered by it too much don't intervene. Until it gets to the point where the coach is bullying a player for something let it be.

But then there is the master of them all -- the Lee Elia Rant:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uv23pqH9iG0

 

Wait till your son plays in college. No punches pulled there. Plenty of F Bombs and no regard for how it will affect the player. I'm sure this isn't everywhere, but you'd probably be surprised. If your son has never been exposed to this, how will they deal with it?  If they get yelled at in the workplace at some point, how will they deal with it. I would take this as a way to teach your son how to deal with people who aren't nice and encouraging all the time. Because at some point in his life, he will have to deal with it.

And I'm pretty wiling to bet that you are taking this much harder than any of the kids are. They were probably over it and ready to move on 5 minutes after the speech ended.

Is it just the F word or that he said it in anger? Not that I agree w it but many HS kids say the word many times a day. Unfortunately it' in movies, on tv, everywhere

 

for all we know he's tried the being nice,praising them speech and it isn't workIng.

I'm sorry, but cursing out people and using the "F" bomb ain't happening at all in Fortune 1000 companies these days.........I'm talking zero tolerance - so sorry to burst your workplace bubbles.

 

Yes, it is. Not publically, but behind closed doors.

All great replies.  I personally don't have a problem with the cussing and neither does my kid.  We have a very young team and my concern is that constantly yelling at the kids isn't going to have these kids want to return.  We are playing young kids because there are no better options.  That's not the kids fault.  Most of these kids should be playing jv but aren't due to no older kids.  We have 1 senior and 3 juniors that start rest are soph and freshmen.  

 

The thing I dont agree with is the pointing out kids in front of the team.  If one kid is giving there best but just can't perform and you don't have a better option then don't blame the kid he's trying his best. 

 

None of this is about my kid, I just care about the program.  My son plays every game, every inning and is going to college to play.  

 

We we had a play today where 1b couldn't pick a ball out of the dirt so he yells at 1b but says nothing to ss who couldn't make a routine throw to 1b.  It's just stupid stuff like that.

 

my kid is going to discuss with him these issues as the senior leader So I'll stay out for now.

 

 

 

Any young man who walks away from HS baseball over yelling needs to walk away, I think. And it's not a good sign, Dave. Glad your son isn't in that camp.

Never underestimate the ability of teenage boys to tune out grown ups, especially angry ones.

31 years later nothing has changed with the Cubs.

Words....are one of the most powerful things in the world.  About a million people in our nations history have died for them because of all the Rights the United States is founded upon the foremost, IMO, is the right of free speech.  Of course there are limits but to minimize the value and power of words....is oversimplification to the point of stupidity.

 

Call a African-American a n@@@@r.  You might not get to keep your teeth for that one word if you pick the wrong guy.  I for one would hold you so he could land a good one. 

 

Kids killing themselves over cyber bullying or how about the kid who shows up at school with a gun.  Only words or name calling. 

 

As for coaches needing profanity to chew on players.  John Wooden could melt players with "Gracious sakes alive".  When you can point me to the coach in HS that is in his universe then you can tell me why his tactics are better than the GOAT.  The truly great man is the one that remains calm and disciplined in difficult circumstances.  Children have temper tantrums when things don't go their way. 

 

Stop the rationalizing of bad behavior by people in authority in a school setting.  No excuse for it....ever.  It is impossible to be abusive to young people in your charge and to be considered a decent human being at the same time.      

 

 

 

Absolutely not true -- and at some of the highest levels of some of the very biggest companies.

An occasional cuss word here is there is tolerable, but a lecture full of it does no one any good especially when you just dont have the talent. I've seen quite a few coaches go on rants to there teams when they lose, but the worse are the ones with significant losing records and blames the kids. I blame the coach for having poor preparation.