Coaches, how far have you come?

I've come a million miles since I began around 20 years ago but I also know I need to still go several million more.  I started coaching at the high school level 20 years ago when I was in college.  I was trying to play, coach and go to class at the same time so I was super busy and very inexperienced as to what baseball was truly about.  My high school was pretty bush league looking back on it now but it is what it is.  It took me a long time to truly learn the game and how it should be played.  It's really a learn from your mistakes situation as you get older.  I know I've learned a lot more from messing up than I ever have from anything I got at a clinic.  The second best resource is talking to that coach who is at the other school down the road.  Baseball coaches are a close bunch and willing to help one another out so use those.  Granted there are those who are jerks who won't but overall baseball coaches are very giving to those who want to learn.

Over the years I've become more mellow and understanding with different situations whereas when I was starting out there was a black and white situation.  I've learned that the world is more grey and I have to look at each situation independently. 

There are several things I've continued over my career and that is high standards.  It doesn't matter if you expect high level baseball or outlook in life - it needs to be a high standard.  But it has to be taught and modeled by you.  You can't be out there saying "learn the game" when you never go to clinics or learn from others or show / teach different ways / things each year.  Or say how to be a good person if you're not that way yourself.  Kids have a way of figuring these things out and they know the real ones from the phonies.

The one thing I've learned which has had the most benefit for me (and even now that I'm an athletic director) is I can't expect the players to love the game as much as I do, but I can expect them to respect it.  I love baseball and will do anything to be around it.  Not coaching this year is killing me but I have different responsibilities now.  Not everyone feels the same way as I do but they can show up on time, hustle, try, learn, compete and be a good team mate every day.  That is respecting the game by doing it right.  Now that I'm AD I'm trying to get this message across to all the coaches and players - if you choose to do something then do it with everything you have because that is the right way to do things.  I learned this by coaching football.  I was getting ticked off by guys who didn't love baseball and would slack off a little.  Then I realized I didn't love coaching football.  I coached football because I'm good at it (at least I think so) and our teams always needed the help but I never loved it.  Each day I showed up ready to coach and prepared like I should when I was both offensive and defensive coordinators but I still didn't love it.  I finally asked myself why I did it that way and the only answer I came up with is because it was the right thing to do.  So now I realized that not everyone who plays baseball loves the game but they can still do it the right way.  Now instead of trying to beat a love of the game into people who probably never will love it I convince them it's about doing things the right way no matter what.  Which helps them more in other areas of their life instead of just baseball.

I saw the Mike Matheny letter to parents again the other day, saw this question, and an article that an 80 year old friend who is still coaching wrote in a Texas coaching magazine.  They all kind of went together and got me to thinking about all of this.  The answer to what I have learned since I “officially” started coaching around 20 years ago could fill volumes. So, maybe I should try the bullet approach to keep this short.

• Like coach2709 stated, things were much more black and white when I was younger and I think most of that had do to with the lack of experience to draw from.  Decisions are easiest to just say yes/no than dealing with the players/parents/situations individually.  Same as with coaching on the field, I was much more inclined to take the cookie cutter/clone approach.  Now my approach to instruction is much more individualized.
• Do not neglect yourself or your family.  Make sure you are taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually as well as your family.  This is something I did not do early in my career. I was putting an insane amount of time into coaching. I have since learned to work smarter. Like most HS baseball coaches I was also part of the football staff.  I have had the great privilege of being on staffs that have been to 7 state championships in 1A-5A as well as getting to coach the state all-star game.  From that experience I have learned that you do not have to work 90hr and 7 day weeks because 5 of those state appearances came working 6 days/ week and getting home at a decent hour on practice days.
• Have clear, concise, expectations for your coaches, players, and players parents.  Along with this is to be approachable.  Be able to work with the AD, other coaches of other spring sports, band, golf, one act play, etc., but make sure to take care of your program.  Parents are the hardest, but you have their most precious thing on this planet spending more time with you than them.  Realize that most mad parents just want what is best for their own son and to be heard, and most nice parents are working an angle for their son, and a few parents and players will be life-long friends.
• Learn to define yourself without baseball, and your coaching without including a win/loss record.  It was truly an epiphany when I was able to do this. When I was young and starting in this profession, I spent a lot of time talking with and picking the brain of a family friend that is one of the winningest (is that a word?) coaches in the state.  One thing that stuck out to me was that he never mentioned the wins or championships.  It was all about relationships and being able to work with and be a positive influence on the young men he got to come in contact with every day, but I did not understand this until much later in my career.  Remember the old quote “they don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”.
• The x’s and o’s are the easy part.  Even the guy in the stands eating pop corn and drinking a coke can prob. recognize a good time to hit/run.  The real art in coaching comes from can you teach teenagers when and how.  The fact that I may know 6 different kinds of bunts is irrelevant if I can’t get a 16 year old to execute even one of those when needed.   With Duck Dynasty being so popular these days let me give you a Phil quote for way back when he was just doing hunting videos and making duck calls.  Someone asked him why he was not in all of these duck calling contest and his reply was, “you can be a world class duck caller, or you can be a world class duck killer”.  The coaching equivalent of that would be….coach like you have to, not like you should.  You can be a clinician and teach it the way you should, but can you teach it in a way to get that individual/team to perform?

There are so many more, but 5 are enough for now.  A few years back I thought about putting everything I had down on paper….drills, charts, practices, philosophy, etc., but I couldn’t do it without having a 600+ page book.  The same may apply to this topic as well.

Where can I find both the Matheny letter and the article? Sounds like an interesting read.

http://www.mac-n-seitz.com/tea...-matheny-letter.html

That is a link to the letter, and the article was in the THSCA mag this month. I doubt it is online anywhere.

WOW! What a great letter. Wouldn't it be nice if this model could be used by every coach.

Before my son signed his NLI. He/We did some research on the HC. A lot of things were said regarding how tough he is, hard on the players, takes no excuses, demanding. Most was shared in a negative way. I found them refreshing, hopefully so will my son.

As i was browsing around today, i see this post that coach mills created and was fascinated, everyone has a story of how they got from one point to the next of playing and coaching.  It made me really think about mine.  When i first started coaching i still do alot of the things i do today, i just do them differently with a different approach.  I have A TON of respect for the players that played for me when i first started coaching, looking back at it today i am not sure i could have played for myself.  I was hard nosed my way or the highway and although i taught them to respect the game and everything about it and i tried to spark more interest in the game but i might have went about things in the wrong way.  I gave them individuality, but was way to militant in the team activity side of it, we even ran more than cross country or track team.  Looking back i am not sure how anyone had any fun.  I still teach alot of the same fundamental stuff, but it is more relaxed and i feel the players enjoy it better.  I have former players ( who were successful as players and young men i will add) come back and basically say you guys i hope you enjoy this, this was not the same coach i had, you guys have it way to easy, LOL.  I am not sure if one group in my early days are better off then my current days, as far as people or as athletes, but i do know as former posters have said, i do work smarter not harder and i have become not as hard nosed. Our program has always been a family atmosphere and the players have always known i was hard on them and treated them like men and i was always there for them if they needed, but now instead of being the father figure they respect and fear, now they respect and i treat them more like my son.  The question i always have is most of my players (now and then) have loved me, respected me  ( i think so because i have been invited to weddings, seen children after they are born, the players come back, call me and ask for advice from college and some expressing interest in coaching with me and so on, it makes me proud.)  I still keep in touch with a lot of them.  The question i have is as a coach, i always wonder if i did the right thing for each player, did i do my best per that player, is that player prepared enough to move on and represent "OUR" family.  OUR-defined as his immediate family, his school, his coaches, his baseball family, his town and the players to come. 

There is alot to say and alot of times the words don't come out right, but looking back everything is a fine line, a grey area, a way to improve, a way to do more with less, but no matter what alley in life, the fundamentals/basics can always get us there.